© 2012, Lynne Henderson Compassionate Social Fitness 1 Compassionate Social Fitness: Theory and Practice Lynne Henderson Shyness Institute April 14, 2012

© 2012, Lynne Henderson

Compassionate Social Fitness

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Compassionate Social Fitness:

Theory and Practice

Compassionate Social Fitness:

Theory and PracticeLynne Henderson

Shyness InstituteApril 14, 2012

Anxiety Disorders Association of America



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OverviewOverviewSocial Fitness Training: Theory and Practice

Stanford/Palo Alto shyness clinic

Compassion Focused Therapy

Adding a compassion focusFor better self-soothingFor shame vulnerable clientsFor therapists who do individual Social Fitness Training

Compassionate Social Fitness TrainingThe case of Jane

BUT! Be prepared……………………………………………….



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Three Vicious CyclesThree Vicious Cycles

Approach

Fear

Negative predictions

Resentment

Anger

Other-blame

Avoidance

Shame

Self-blame



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What is Social Fitness© ?What is Social Fitness© ?

Social Fitness, like physical fitness, is a state of physiological,

behavioral, emotional, and mental conditioning that implies adaptive functioning and a sense

of well being.



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Social Fitness Training©Social Fitness Training©



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Three Virtuous CyclesThree Virtuous Cycles

Acceptance

Accept fear

Act through emotion

Support self

Accept Efforts

Support

Face fear Accept self Accept others

Support others

Accept others’ efforts

Forgiveness



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Compassion Focused Therapy: GilbertCompassion Focused Therapy: Gilbert

In order for us to be reassured by a thought (say) ‘I am lovable’ this thought needs to link with the emotional experience of ‘being lovable’.

If the positive affect system for such linkage is not activated there is little feeling to the thought.

Compassion focused therapy therefore targets the activation of the soothing system

(with permission, Paul Gilbert)



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Types of Affect Regulator SystemsTypes of Affect Regulator Systems

Incentive/resource- focused

Wanting,pursuing, achieving Activating

Non-wanting/Affiliative focused

Safeness-kindnessSoothing

Threat-focused

Protection and

Safety-seeking

Activating/inhibiting

Anger, anxiety, disgustAnger, anxiety, disgust

Drive, excite, vitalityDrive, excite, vitality Content, safe, Content, safe, connectedconnected




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Basic Philosophy:CFTBasic Philosophy:CFTWe all just find ourselves here with a brain, emotions and

sense of (socially made) self we did not choose but have to figure out.

Life involves dealing with tragedies (threats, losses, diseases, decay, death) and people do the best they can.

Much of what goes on in our minds is not of ‘our design’ and not our fault.

We are all in the same boat

De-pathologising and de-labelling – understanding unique coping processes




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The Need for Compassion in Social Fitness Training

The Need for Compassion in Social Fitness Training

For better self-soothing and emotion regulation For shame vulnerable clientsFor working with individual clients who lack group support

To add direct interventions to build compassion for the self and others, to help clients view shyness and shame not as pathology, but as part of human condition

To add to Mindfulness work (MBSR) – Jon Kabat-Zinn

Henderson, L. (2011). Building social confidence using compassion-focused therapy to overcome shyness and social anxiety. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.



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Three Compassionate CyclesThree Compassionate Cycles

Acceptance

Accept fear

Act through emotion

Support self

Self-compassion

Compassion


Support others

Compassion toward others

Forgiveness



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JaneJane

Bright, attractive young woman in mid-twenties, college graduate, living with parents

Severe APD, socially isolated, TV four hours per day, works at home, attends community college

Shy in elementary school, SAD in middle school



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Caring-Compassionate MindCaring-Compassionate Mind

Imagery

Attention Reasoning

Feeling Behaviour

Sensory

Care for well-being

Sensitivity Sympathy

Distress tolerance

EmpathyNon-Judgement

CompassionCompassion

ATTRIBUTES

SKILLS -TRAININGWarmthWarmth

WarmthWarmth

WarmthWarmth

WarmthWarmth(with permission, Paul Gilbert)



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Behavior and cognition: In session exposures with challenging and modifying unhelpful thoughts; behavioral homework, non-verbal communication (SOFTEN; Gabor, 2001)

Mindfulness: Body scan, breath meditation,

Sensory: Building sensory awareness, locating emotions in body

Distress tolerance: Expressing emotions, tolerating discomfort (SUDS 70+)

Attention: Deliberate focusing of attention

Imagery: Safe place, perfect nurturer, compassionate ideal self



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Doing Better; Feeling WorseDoing Better; Feeling WorseShyQ. 1 - 5 M = 4.3 M = 3.5EOS 1 - 7 M = 5.4 M = 3.6

Most Difficult: Giving Talk Pre PostSAQ-Self-blame 1 – 9 M = 9.0 M = 9.0 SAQ-Shame 0 – 4 M = 3.2 M = 3.2

Second most difficult: Conversation with one person SAQ-Self-blame 1 – 9 M = 9.0 M = 5.0 SAQ-Shame 0 – 4 M = 2.4 M = 3.0

Third most difficult: Asking a question in class SAQ-Self-blame 1 – 9 M = 9.0 M = 5.0 SAQ-Shame 0 – 4 M = 2.4 M = 3.0



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Resistance: Fear of Compassion

Resistance: Fear of Compassion

Remember: Compassion focused therapy targets the activation of the soothing system (to gain positive affect) to connect thoughts with the emotional experience referred to by those thoughts.

Compassion can be threatening. Clients can be afraid of compassion toward the self, from others and for others.

Gilbert, P., McEwen, K., Matos, M., & Rivis, A. (2011). Fears of compassion: Development of three self-report measures. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice 84, 239-255.



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Jane: Fear of Compassion/Self

Jane: Fear of Compassion/Self

Expressing kindness, compassion toward self (rated 4; 0-4)

If I really think about being kind and gentle with myself it makes me sad.

I fear that if I start to feel compassion and warmth for myself, I will feel overcome with a sense of loss/grief.

I fear that if I become too compassionate to myself I will lose my self-criticism and my flaws will show.



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Jane: Fear of Compassion/OthersJane: Fear of Compassion/Others

Responding to compassion from others (rated 4; 0-4)

I’m fearful of becoming dependent because they might not always be available or willing to give it.

If people are friendly and kind I worry they will find out something bad about me that will change their mind.

When people are kind and compassionate towards me I feel empty and sad.



19(with permission, Paul Gilbert)












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Countering Resistance to Compassion

Countering Resistance to Compassion

Acknowledging strengths:

Empathy toward her dog, the abandoned student, neighbor, her parents (compassionate sacrifice?)

Continuing to build empathy toward her own distress:

Continuing to normalize shame, encourage self-disclosure, active listening, reflecting emotions, writing exercises (Kristen Neff)

Two chair exercises:

Protective self and the hopeful, trusting self

Self critical self and compassionate self-correcting self

Critical self and empathic self (to her own and others’ distress)






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Three Compassionate CyclesThree Compassionate Cycles

Acceptance

Accept fear

Act through emotion

Support self

Self-compassion

Compassion


Support others

Compassion toward others

Forgiveness



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Disclaimer and InformationDisclaimer and Information

I have no affiliation with any pharmaceutical company and none of my work has ever been supported by an outside commercial enterprise.

Documents

© 2012, Lynne Henderson Compassionate Social Fitness 1 Compassionate Social Fitness: Theory and Practice Lynne Henderson Shyness Institute April 14, 2012