What is fear doing to you? And to me!

Do you have fear? You are not sure? How about I will describe the symptoms and you will define what type of fear you have

if you have one. I know which one I have. Are you ready?

There are two types of fear.

There is fear of failure and fear of rejection.

You might have either of them, or both of them but you might not be aware of it. I will describe what they do to us and then you will identify which one you have. Don’t worry: I will write the prescription that works for many people including myself.

Fear of failureSymptoms:  You have a stable office job that pays you well. You have a good house. You drive a decent car, and you go to work everyday. Even though you work for someone else, your life is not too bad. So far, so good. There is nothing wrong with this.

But…

Do you remember, once you used to have a dream to become the best violin player or a great actress? You wanted to become an architect, or a famous public speaker like the guy you saw on a clip years back? Do you remember how passionate you were about writing and becoming a published author and have a book signing evening?

If all those “good” things have got on your way and stopped you from becoming what you have or had always wished to become, if those “good” things made you settle down for “good”, if those “good” things made you say “why do I need a dream, I have a well-paying job,” then you have  a fear of failure.

Fear of falling down and not being able to get up. Fear of losing what you have gained so far. Fear of losing your comfortable life. Fear of losing your comfy couch. Fear of losing your sleep. Fear of getting out of your comfort zone. Prescription is given at the end of the article.

Fear of rejectionSymptoms: You like to be a follower rather than to be a leader. You are not a big fan of coming up with initiatives. You are shy to make suggestions. You also do not want to try new ways of doing regular things. You don’t like to be the first one to talk to strangers. You will be happy if someone walks to you and starts a conversation, but you would not mind standing alone if no one does approach you.

You prefer to be silent in the question and answer session even though you are curious about that one thing. You keep telling yourself that you don’t have to ask that question. You are scared that you will be rejected, you will sound stupid, you will not be liked or approved. Let me tell you a short story before I give you the prescription.

I was sitting at McDonald’s with my friend and a cute girl walked in. This is a story that goes 4 years back when I was single. My friend challenged me at that point. He said: “I bet you can’t walk to that girl over there and start talking to her.” My reply was: “challenge accepted.”

A few minutes later, I came back with a big grin on my face and her business card in my hand. From that day, I never had a fear of rejection. I kept applying the lessons I learned from dating life to other areas of my life. I become brave enough to make suggestions, to come up with new initiatives, to be able to talk to strangers and take bold steps in life.

But my real fear of rejection started to fade away after I got married. My wife became the main source of my power, my courage, my bravery. I am about to make a life-changing decision these days, and I owe half of my courage to myself and the other half to my beloved wife.

So, you must be curious by now about how you can get rid of fear of failure or fear of rejection. Here is the prescription:

• Three times a day, before meal: ask yourself this question: if I do this, what is the worst thing that could happen?

• Once a day, before breakfast: write down the things you want to accomplish;

• Once a day, before breakfast: write down your goals and draw your road map;

• Once a day, after meal: ask yourself this question: what have I done today to reach my goal?

• Once a day, before sleep: ask yourself this question: what can I do differently tomorrow to get a step closer to my dream?

Remember to take all medicine with a big glass of courage and bravery. You will see results in two weeks.* Do you want to become a better public speaker? Sign up for my free online seminar on September 6th, and get a free New York Times bestselling eBook for free. Sign up