Alice in Wonderland - Young Women in the Working World

Alice in Wonderland Young Women in the Working World

Talk delivered to Sixth Form Schoolgirls (Senior High) by Habiba Balogun

on 14th January, 2014

Are you often confronted with this terrible decision?

Which?!


  When did you realise that you were a girl?

  Growing up, what was your image of a ‘good’ woman and a ‘good man’? – throw out some adjectives/attributes.

  How many of the female attributes is a university admissions officer or an employer looking for?

About me….The Schoolgirl

•  Big family •  Space Cadet / Bookworm •  Friendly and easygoing •  Loyal friend •  Kent College Pembury •  Part of the Out-group / In-group •  LOVED dancing •  Average at school work •  Scared of failing my A Levels

•  Not sure what career, what degree.

•  Studied my favourite subject •  Chose Royal Holloway because I

liked the building - Pink Chateau •  Scared of failing my degree •  LOVED living abroad •  After Uni - No more pocket

money!! •  The Workplace??? No Idea!!

About me…..The Woman Directorships & Boards •  Habiba Balogun Consulting –

Organisation Effectiveness and HR Consultancy for multinationals

•  Accion Microfinance Bank •  Lagos Preparatory School •  Fate Foundation - entrepreneurship •  KIND (Kudirat Initiative for Democracy)

WISCAR (Women in Successful Careers) – Structured mentoring programme

•  Success4All Ltd – Financial literacy

 Multi-lingual   Lived and worked worldwide   A fellow of the Aspen Leadership

Network and the Africa Leadership Initiative.

  A certified coach, trainer & facilitator

  A columnist and public speaker   Active in charities, NGOs &

causes such as #BringBackOurGirls


  What does it mean to be an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ ?   What makes the workplace a ‘Wonderland’? – how are

they similar?   Were there rules in Wonderland?   Did Alice know the rules? How did she learn them?   Will you know the rules of the workplace by the time you

get there? How will you discover them?


  Alice faced a crossroads in Wonderland and had to decide which way to go.

  What are the choices that you might have to make in your life and career? •  Immediate choices tomorrow •  Choices after School •  Choices when entering the workplace •  Choices during your career

”If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” Lewis Carroll

Young boys are taught to plan for WHAT they will

achieve in life; young women are taught to

plan for WHOM they will attain.

This does not prepare us to set goals for our lives &

careers Set your goals!

Women in the Workplace Statistics from Harvard Business Review 2013Research Roundup

Navigating Wonderland Women, The Triple burden and the Double bind The Triple Burden:

The Double bind: Extreme Perceptions: Damned if you do, damned if you don’t

•  Woman, Worker, Welfare Officer

•  Housekeeper, Earner, Caregiver

•  Marriage, Maternity Leave, Childcare

  Too SOFT or too ASSERTIVE

  Too GIRLY or too MANLY

  Too FRIENDLY or too HOSTILE

  Too THIN or too FAT

Everyday Sexism – a must read After experiencing a series of escalating

sexist incidents …from being harassed and

wolf-whistled at on the street, to

discrimination in the workplace and serious

sexual assault, it was clear that sexism had

become normalised…..a manifesto for

change; a ground breaking, anecdotal

examination of sexism in modern day

society

UNSURE

PUZZLED

CONFUSED

LOST

BAFFLED SCARED

Quiet thinking and

reflecting time �

#1 � Meditate and listen to your instincts

1. What’s the worst that can happen? !

2. How likely is that to happen? !

3. Can I deal with it?!

#2 � Ask yourself 3 questions

#3 �Take two pieces of paper and

write down your options on each. Put them in a bowl, close your

eyes, and pick one.!

If you feel disappointed with the

outcome, then you know that is the

wrong choice for you to make! �

Use decision-making methods

#4 � Let go of your FEAR

Ask yourself…… What would I do if I were not afraid?

False Expectations Appearing Real

False Emotions Appearing Real

False Evidence Appearing Real

Forgetting Everything is All Right

Future Events Appearing Real

STOP THINKING

SO MUCH

#5

Poor Personal Decisions are the Leading Cause of Premature Death

In 1900 only 10% of premature deaths were due to

personal decisions

In 2008, it was up to 44.5%

Smoking . Not exercising Drug & Alcohol abuse

Unsafe sex . Criminality Unhealthy Food

Source: Operations Research Ralph Keeney 2008

#6 � Stop KILLING yourself!

“The dif)iculty in

life is the choice” George Moore

1.  Is it IMPORTANT to me?

2.  Is this what I WANT?

3.  Does this MAKE ME HAPPY / happier?

4.  Can I live with myself after this?

4 Important Questions

#7 � At each Crossroad, ask yourself

EVADING •  Recourse to someone or something else

e.g. religion, horoscopes •  Shift responsibility – e.g. parent/friend •  Toe the line – follow others •  Decide as a group (no person to blame) •  The Ostrich – don’t think about it •  Pray for a miracle / False Hopes POOR CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS •  False alternative •  Failure to Reflect

SELF-SABOTAGE •  Be overconfident •  Be too prudent •  Succumb to failure •  Misrepresentation of facts •  Reasoning by analogy •  Purely symbolic decisions •  Post-decision anxiety / Have

second thoughts

Source: Leadership Decision Making – Professor Hossein Arsham

#8 � Stop Avoiding making Serious Decisions

When you are: Angry or Hurt Sleep deprived Depressed or Deeply Sad Desperate Frightened or Grieving Jealous / Envious Being persuaded/pressured To get… Revenge Harm someone else

DON’T DO When you are: –  Calm –  Thoughtful –  Focused –  Informed

•  Find a way to perceive your problem as an opportunity

•  Use decision-making tools -  Decision trees -  10-10-10 -  Cost/Benefit, Pros/Cons -  Grid Analysis

#9 � Choose the Right Time to Decide

1. Set clear goals. What do you want to accomplish? and how it relates to your priorities

2. Identify the Options/Actions. Consider a wide range of possible alternative courses of action and gather information on them

3. Evaluate the Consequences. Weigh the costs & risks of possible negative and positive consequences. Especially the worst case scenario

5. Re-assess the Action. Re-examine positive and negative consequences including some previously unacceptable choices before making a final decision

6. Implement your decision. Make DETAILED arrangements for implementing and executing your choice including back up plans and flexibility to adjust

#10 � Set goals & have a plan

Japanese proverb

"Thinking without action is a daydream.

Action without thinking is a nightmare."

Become the Queen in Wonderland Know yourself •  What you are good at – STRENGTHS •  What you know how to do both in and

out of school - SKILLS •  How well you get on with others –

INTERPERSONAL •  What you love doing and want to do

more of – PASSIONS & MOTIVATIONS

•  What you want people to think of you – YOUR IMAGE

•  What you need to watch out for - WEAKNESSES

Educate yourself •  What is going on in my world and

in the wider world •  How to manage money well •  How to keep yourself healthy •  How to keep yourself safe •  How to do things better & faster •  How to analyse & persuade •  How to be a team player •  How to lead, and how to follow

References

  Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll   Catalyst.com – The Double-bind Dilemma for Women in Leadership   Leadership Decision Making – Professor Hossein Arsham   Operations Research Ralph Keeney 2008   Women in the Workplace Research Roundup - Harvard Business

Review 09/2013   Everyday Sexism – Laura Bates   TinyBuddha.com   Hbalogunconsult.com

Thank You!

www.hbalogunconsult.com