Quotes About Lawyers

(Part 1)

Imagine the appeals, dissents and remandments, if lawyers

had written 'The Ten Commandments'.

- Harry Bender

A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word

document and calls it a "brief." - Franz Kafka

"My daddy is a movie actor, and sometimes he plays the good guy,

and sometimes he plays the lawyer."

- Malcolm Ford, to his preschool classmates on what his father,

actor Harrison Ford, does for a living.

Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and

some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become

lawyers. - Woody Allen

America is the paradise of lawyers. - David Brewer

I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, two men are called a

law firm, and three or more become a Congress. — John

Adams, in the play ―1776″

Lawyers are just like physicians: what one says, the

other contradicts. – SholomAleichem

There is never a deed so foul that something couldn‘t be said for the guy; that‘s why there are lawyers. – Melvin

Belli

Imagine the appeals, dissents and remandments, if lawyers

had written ‗The Ten Commandments‘. – Harry

Bender

There‘s no better way of exercising the imagination

than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as

freely as a lawyer interprets the truth. ―Lawyers Are‖:

Those who lie, conceal and distort everything and slander everybody. – Jean Giraudoux

It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and to talk by the hour. – Thomas Jefferson

The trial lawyer does what Socrates was executed for:

making the worse argument appear the stronger. – Judge

Irving Kaufman

Lawyers are the only profession where the more

there are, the more are needed! – Robert Lucky, IEEE

Spectrum

Lawyers are one who protects us against robbery by taking

away the temptation. – Henry Louis Mencken

The law is a sort of hocus-pocus science that smiles in your face while it picks your

pocket. – H.L. Mencken

I don‘t want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do; I hire him to tell me how to do what I want

to do. – J.P. Morgan

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the mainstream and

damn it up. – John Naisbitt, in Megatrends

A lawyer is a man who helps you get what is coming to him.

– Laurence J. Peter

Litigation is the basic legal right which guarantees every

corporation its decade in court. – David Porter

To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We‘re all throwing

the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the

board, but if there is a problem the lawyer is the only person

who has read the inside of the top of the box. – Jerry Seinfeld

As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not

important that you understand what I‘m doing or why you‘re

paying me so much money. What‘s important is that you

continue to do so. – Hunter S. Thompson‘s Samoan Attorney

They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin‘ ready to prove that a man‘s heirs ain‘t

got any right to his property. –Mark Twain

Of course I‘ve got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons:

I‘ve got em coz everyone else has. But as soon as you use

them they f**k everything up. –Danny de Vito in ―Other

People‘s Money‖

People who can write a 10,000-word document and

call it a brief.

Check out for more in Part 2.

Meanwhile, here‘ the full post.