Feedback and how to RECEIVE it

Eric De Pooter

Feedback and how to receive it

Definition

Receiving= skill to develop

Receiving vs accepting

Too much ?

Direct indirect official unofficial direct indirect clear unclear (non)verbal

Advantages (Inner )development•Trust •Relationships •Output and results

Development

Lead by example

Resistance•Who What How Where Why When

Pull vs push

Work on me

first

Feedback culture

Difficult Receivers can’t receive

givers can ‘t give

Love Hate Fear learn vs accept me as I am

Skills• Self confidence?• Assertiveness?• Trust?• Self efficacy

Coaching Recognition Evaluation

3

?

Our reactions Unknown What to do with info Honest intention Used against us

Pain Trauma Rejection Guilt

4

Content: unfair, not helpful, untrue

Relationship: lack of trust, integrity, compentence

Me: me, myself and I endangered

TRIGGERS

ContentRecognition Coaching Evaluation

Content

6

Where does it come from

Expectations

Understanding

Content

Blind spots

7

Content

?What are characteristics of the person you would accept every feedback of?

8

RelationshipTrust

Integrity

Competence

Recognition

Respect Autonomy

Me, myself and I

Personality differences In giving

& receiving feedback

“No big deal”

Hate feedback “We’ll see”

Recovery from negative

Duration of positiveLow

High

High

12

13

Complexity

World PeopleIntentions

14

Compassion

15

16

Self efficacy vs self confidence

Some basicsDo

• Mind your emotions• Listen and shut up• Ask for examples• Summarize and check• Ask for suggestions • Thank • Say what you will (not) do

Do not

• Do not interrupt • Do not get defensive• No “yes but…”• Do not accept everything just like that

17

Act... like in ACTION

Know yourself & your feedback reaction pattern

Prepare & exercise

Ask support

Have a good life!Eric De Pooter