IMPROVING LISTENING SKILLS

What are three types of effective listening?

Roadblocks to Effective Listening

Reasons to Improve Listening Skills

Feelings for Which You Can be Listening

Listening Role-Play Activity

What are three types of effective listening?

1. Paraphrasing

To paraphrase, one simply rewords what another individual has said.

For example, the speaker might say, "She was foolish to quit her job."

The listener might respond, "I hear you saying that you believe she

shouldn't have quit." What has occurred is paraphrasing where the

listener has clarified what the speaker has said.

2. Open Questions

An open question explores a person's statement without requiring a

simple "yes" or "no" answer. The basic difference between an open

question and a closed question is what they provide the person being

asked. When you are asked an open question it helps you think more

about an issue. A closed question will not do that. It may force you to

answer before you are ready, or require a "yes" or "no" answer that

doesn't allow more thinking about the issue. Closed questions close

the door on further thought, while open questions open the door. For

example, the speaker might say, "I don't like my job." The listener

might respond, "What about your job don't you like?" or, "Tell me

more about your feelings regarding your job."

3. Feeling Reflection

Feeling reflection is a response in which you express a feeling or

emotion you have experienced in reference to a particular statement.

For example, the speaker might say, "I get sick of working so much

overtime!" The listener might respond, "I hear you feeling angry and

resentful at being asked to work so much overtime." Feeling

reflections are perhaps the most difficult active listening responses to

make. Not only do you actively listen to what is being said but also

you actively listen for what is being felt. When you make a feeling

reflection, you are reflecting back what you hear of another's feelings.

It is similar to paraphrasing; however, you repeat what you heard

them feeling instead of what you heard them saying. To understand

what individuals are feeling, you must listen to their words, to their

tone of voice, and watch their body signals. By observing all three you

can begin to guess their feelings.

* Listen carefully so that you will be able to understand, comprehend

and evaluate. Careful listening will require a conscious effort on your

part. You must be aware of the verbal and nonverbal messages

(reading between the lines).

* Be mentally and physically prepared to listen. Put other thoughts

out of your mind. Your attention will be diverted from listening if you

try to think of answers in advance.

* You can't hear if you do all the talking.

* Think about the topic in advance, if possible. Be prepared to listen.

* Listen with empathy. See the situation from the other's point of

view. Try to put yourself in their shoes.

* Be courteous; don't interrupt. Take notes if you worry about

forgetting a particular point.

* Avoid stereotyping individuals by making assumptions about how

you expect them to act. This will bias your listening.

* Listen to how something is said. Be alert for what is left unsaid.

* Make certain everyone involved gets an opportunity to voice their

opinions. Don't let one person dominate the conversation.

* Face those you are talking with, lean slightly forward and make eye

contact. Use your body to show your interest and concern.

Roadblocks to Effective Listening

The following types of responses indicate ineffective listening:

* warning

* interrogating

* preaching

* ordering

* judging

* diverting

* analyzing

* blaming

* labeling

* moralizing

* probing

* ridiculing

* threatening

* reassuring

* distracting

* sympathizing

* demanding

* interpreting

* teaching

* withdrawing

* giving solutions

* scolding

* praising

* advising

* criticizing

* directing

* lecturing

* name-calling

Reasons to Improve Listening Skills

* To avoid saying the wrong thing, being tactless

* To dissipate strong feelings

* To learn to accept feelings (yours and others)

* To generate a feeling of caring

* To help people start listening to you

* To increase the other person's confidence in you

* To make the other person feel important and recognized

* To be sure you both are on the same wavelength

* To be sure you both are focused on the same topic

* To check that you are both are on target with one another

Questions to Ask Yourself in Conversations

* What am I doing in this interaction?

* What are my strategies or goals in communicating this message?

* Where do I want to go in this conversation?

* What is my body feeling right now in this conversation?

* What pressures am I feeling in talking with this person?

* What could I say differently?

* How could I say that so as to show I understood?

* What am I feeling at this time?

* What impulses do I have?

* What is my decision--making process in this conversation?

* How is she feeling toward me?

* What do I want or not want him to feel?

* What risks am I experiencing in this conversation?

* How is her appearance affecting me?

* What fantasy is going on in my head in this dialogue?

* What cues of the other am I responding to?

* How does his behavior affect my approach in this discussion?

* How genuine am I feeling at this time?

* How does what I say reflect genuineness to her?

* How could I have made what I just said more empathetic? How did I

demonstrate respect for the other?

* How is my level of communication and vocabulary affecting the

dialogue?

* What different style of communication could I use to reach her

better?

* How attentive am I to him at this time?

* How do I feel about her response?

* How comfortable am I feeling at this time?

* How are my values affecting what I am hearing at this time?

* What is the level of my trust at this time?

* How did that question further the discussion and show I was

listening?

* How mutually helpful is this conversation at this time?

* How honest are my statements with her?

* How comfortable am I in honestly labeling what I see going on with

him?

* What can I do to improve the feedback I am giving the other?

* How well am I tuning into her feelings?

* What responses can I use to demonstrate that I am "with" the other?

Feelings for Which You Can be Listening

Use these lists of words to help you as you listen for the feelings of

others in your conversations. Try to identify the other person's

feeling, then reflect them back to the speaker.

Positive feelings include love, affection, concern, interest, elation and

joy.

Negative feelings include depression, sadness, distress, fear, anger

and anxiety.

Practice Listening for Feelings

Give either a paraphrase, an open question or a feeling-reflection

listening response for each of the following statements. First identify

the feelings, then give your response. Compare your answers with a

friend's. Discuss the feelings identification and appropriateness of

your responses.

"I am overwhelmed with work and can't get to your project yet."

"No one ever appreciates me around here!"

"I am lost. I'll never get this job done. Can you help me with this?"

"When I was younger I never knew what to expect in my house. One

day Dad would be happy and carefree, and the next day he might be

angry and hateful."

"I always work hard to achieve the goals of my group. I can't believe

everyone else doesn't feel that way."

"I am so upset. I hate bringing the baby to the mall. Everyone stares

at him. I get so embarrassed, I could cry!"

"Why doesn't anyone understand how I feel? I try my hardest but it

never seems to matter. They still argue and fight all the time."

"I would rather die than let anyone know how I feel about it."

"No one but me is responsible for what happens to me. Butt out of my

business and I'll butt out of yours."

"Why did this have to happen to me? What did I do wrong? Why has

God chosen me for this?"

"Why doesn't anyone ever hear me? I am so anxious for them to give

me a chance but they all seem busy and preoccupied. I don't think

they really care about me anymore."

"You are all a bunch of phonies. I can't stand your cold-hearted,

pompous ideas of right and wrong. I'd rather be anywhere else than

with you tonight!"

"I get so embarrassed in that group. Everyone seems so together and

with it. I'm afraid they would never accept me for who I am and the

way I feel."

"I get so uptight coming to this group every week. I am sure that

someday my turn will come and I'll be so clammed up I'll never be

able to say a word."

"I am so afraid of letting my feelings out. If I ever let them out, I may

never stop. I might go over the edge."

"My dad and mom are so busy taking care of my little brother that I'm

afraid to tell them about my problems. They seem insignificant

compared to his problems."

"Nobody really cares if we win or lose. They goof around and take

nothing serious."

"I am so untalented, ignorant and ugly that no one could possibly love

me."

"I wish that I had never been born. If I hadn't been born, maybe my

family wouldn't have had such problems. Maybe Mom and Dad would

have been happy and not divorced."

"I want to thank you for making this the best day of my life. You are

all so special and wonderful. I love you all."

Listening Role-Play Activity

You and a friend can practice effective listening on one another.

Practice with these suggested topics.

Step 1

One partner takes a turn as speaker, the other as listener. For 5

minutes the speaker elaborates on one of the ten topics. The listener

uses effective listening and makes appropriate responses back to the

speaker.

Step 2

After the 5-minute role play is completed, the speaker spends two

minutes giving feedback to the listening partner on the effective

listener skills used. Review Section II to help you give appropriate

feedback.

Step 3

After the first practice and feedback session, switch roles until all

topics have been covered.

Practice Listening Topics:

How I feel about:

* My life today.

* Being raised in my family of origin.

* All the good things that have happened to me.

* My future.

* My decision to participate in a support group.

* My current personal problems.

* Learning to deal with my problems.

* Listening to other people's deepest concerns and feelings.

* Showing love to those closest to me.

* The fact that I influence my life, regardless of the events, with either

positive or negative outcomes

Improve Reading Skills - Ways to improve

Reading Skills at Home or School

Improve Reading Skills

Reading Skills Improvement Strategies for Home - Parents can

Improve Reading Skills at Home

Does your child struggle with reading skills? As parents, we naturally

want to help our children learn. Sometimes though, it is difficult to

know just how to do that because teaching methods change as

research on basic reading and reading comprehension identifies

better strategies to develop specially designed instruction for reading

disorders such as dyslexia. Despite this, there are some strategies

you can use with your child at home that do not involve direct

instruction and are unlikely to conflict with strategies your child's

teachers use at school. Providing this additional help will, over time,

dramatically improve your child's reading skills.

Reading Skills Improvement Strategies - Easy Reading

Strategies for Parents to Use at Home

1. Participate in Library Reading Programs: Most libraries

offer organized reading programs during school breaks for

students based on their school levels. Many of these programs

are themed and showcase some of the best works for children

and young adults. The library staff may host activities based on

books and have special events and field trips designed to help

students explore the literature on a deeper level. Librarians are

usually happy to help your child and can help find ways to

involve all levels of readers within an age group.

2. Explore Different Forms of Reading Material: Check out

works in both their book forms and books on tape, CD, or digital

recording forms. Many of the highest rated literature for

children and young adults is available on tape and in book form.

By having your student read along in the book while listening to

the same book on tape, you are providing excellent reading

benefits. The student sees and hears words and phrases

together, a good way to reinforce sight-word recognition. Your

child may also benefit from assistive technology such as text

readers. These methods provide the student exposure to works

he might not otherwise choose to read because of the difficulty.

He can gain knowledge of the content and increase vocabulary

without having to struggle through the book and perhaps be

discouraged.

3. Compare Books to Film: Have your student read a book and

then check out the video version of a book. Talk about the

similarities and differences in the two mediums. What did she

like about each form? What didn't she like? Did she prefer the

book or the movie, and why?

4. Study Reading Vocabulary: As your student reads books,

have her make a list of words that were difficult or unfamiliar in

the book. Make flashcards of these words, spend some time

together talking about the meanings and looking them up in the

dictionary. Take turns showing the cards and guessing the

words and meanings. As the student masters each word,

remove it from the deck and put it in a place of honor. When

the whole deck is mastered, celebrate with a special reward.

5. Strengthen Spelling Skills: Use the same deck created in

number 3 above. Have your child learn the spelling of each

word. Practice the spelling. When your child feels ready, have

him write the words on paper. Give him a reward for each

mistake he finds and corrects. This is a great strategy to use

throughout the year. It teaches students to self-correct and also

reduces their fear of trying to tackle difficult words. Young

students may enjoy using multisensory techniques for these

activities.

6. Read the old fashioned way. Take turns reading passages, or

allow your child to follow along as you read.

7. Compare Authors' Books: Have your child read two books by

the same author. It is a good idea for you to read them too so

you can discuss them. Compare how they are similar and how

they are different. Which did you and your child like best? Why?

Most important, remember to keep your reading activities at

home stress free. Use mistakes as teachable moments. If your

child gets tired of reading, take turns, or take a break. For most

elementary aged students with learning disabilities, about

fifteen to twenty minutes of reading at least three days a week

is a good place to begin. If your child wants more time, then

allow that to happen. If your child becomes frustrated, and has

difficulty focusing for that amount of time, shorten the time,

and consider a shorter text or a lower reading level. Establish a

cozy and nurturing environment when reading. A bed time

snuggle or a mid-afternoon read on the porch swing are some

ideas. Involve your child in planning your reading sessions, and

enjoy your time together as you get ready for school and get

ready to read.

Activities like these are important for children with learning

disabilities because they involve reading in a low-stress,

enjoyable situation. Using these strategies regularly with your

child will build skills and encourage them to see reading as a

rewarding activity.

Is your child still reluctant to read? If so, try these tested and

effective strategies.

Improve Reading Skills - Learning Disabilities in Reading - Dyslexia

Strategies

How to Improve Your Vocabulary

Improve Reading Comprehension and Recall

Reading Strategies to Use at Home

Improve Reading with PQ4R Method, Encouraging Readers, Reading

Routines

Improve Reading Comprehension

Encouraging Reluctant Readers

Start a Reading Routine

Understanding Dyslexia, Secondary Education Issues, Teach Early

Sight Words

Understanding Dyslexia

Teaching Early Sight Words

Dyslexia in Secondary Education

10 Tips to Improve Your Reading Skills

Share |

In the modern age of information, reading truly is a fundamental

survival skill. Here are ten tips that anyone can use to improve their

reading skills:

1. You don't have to be a great reader to get the point.

Some people read fast and remember everything. Others read slowly

and take a couple of times to get all the information. It doesn't

matter, really, so long as when you read, you get the information

you're seeking.

2. Know WHY you're reading.

Are you reading for entertainment or to learn something? Decide why

you're reading before you start and you'll greatly improve your

comprehension and your enjoyment.

3. You don't need to read everything.

Not every magazine, letter, and email you receive contains

information you need. In fact, most of it is simply junk. Throw it away,

hit the delete key! Just doing this will double the amount of time you

have available to read.

4. You don't need to read all of what you DO read.

Do you read every article of every magazine, every chapter of every

book? If so, you're probably spending a lot of time reading stuff you

don't need.

Be choosy: select the chapters and articles that are important. Ignore

the rest.

5. Scan before you read.

Look at the table of contents, index, topic headers, photo captions,

etc. These will help you determine if, a) you have a real interest in

this reading, and b) what information you're likely to get from it.

6. Prioritize your reading.

You can't read everything all at once (and wouldn't want to). If it's

important, read it now. If it's not, let it wait.

7. Optimize your reading environment.

You'll read faster and comprehend more if you read in an

environment that's comfortable for you.

8. Once you start, don't stop!

Read each item straight through. If you finish and have questions, go

back and re-read the pertinent sections. If you don't have questions,

you got what you needed and are ready to move on.

9. Focus.

Remember, you're reading with a purpose, so focus on that purpose

and the material. If you lose interest or keep losing your place, take a

break or read something else. You can keep track of where you are by

following along with your hand. This simple technique helps you focus

and increase your concentration.

10. Practice!

The more you read, the better reader you'll become (and smarter,

too)! So, feed your mind: read!