How to Not Send Really Crappy Cold Emails

Brandon Redlinger Max Altschuler

How to Not SendReally Crappy Cold Emails

Engagio.com/crappy-email-ebook

In the age of sales acceleration and automation, it can be easy to want to cut corners and scale at all costs. But what good is speed without quality, or efficiency without effectiveness. If you can send 100 emails to make one connection in the same time it takes to send one email and make one connection, who really wins? Companies should 100% invest in sales technology, but they must also invest in hiring, onboarding and training their teams to connect with human beings in a way that will get results. There’s always going to be a fine balance between quality and quantity.

Introduction

The Modern Sales Mantra

It’s all about the right person, at the right time, with the right

message.

The purpose of this ebook is to give you a better understanding of how to connect with prospects on a human level over email. We’ve taken real cold emails from real reps and asked some of the best practitioners to critique them, all in the name of helping you become more effective. The book wraps up with actionable and functional best practices. Like all good advice, the tips are given in the context of actual emails sent to real executives.

The Purpose

Meet Our Judges

Ralph Barsi Heather Morgan Ray Carroll Trish Bertuzzi David Dulany

Josh HillSteven Broudy Phill Keene Blake Harber Richard Harris

Nicolette Mullinex

Liz CainJake Dunlap

BrandonRedlinger

This eBooks is a fun exercise to take entertainingly crappy emails and critique what’s wrong with them. A lot of these emails are bad because the person rushed or failed to personalize them. Shame on them. However, we’re not here to make fun of or humiliate anyone, so all names, emails, and companies have been redacted.

These are all 100% real and undoctored emails sent directly to us from English speaking sales people in the USA.

Disclaimer

How to Not SendReally Crappy Cold Emails

Engagio.com/crappy-email-ebook

Get the full, unabridged version with full critiques now.

Crappy Email #1The subject line is lame and generic. The intro is self-focused, dull jargon. It’s too long.

When writing emails, think in terms of texts & tweets.Write short sentences and paragraphs.

This is a classic shot in the dark. Is this even relevant to the target? If not, don’t risk ruining your reputation.

Be specific in your CTA. “Do you have 10 minutes to talk on Friday?”

Avoid yes or no questions, and be more clear in your ask. Why should your contact care to get on the phone?

Crappy Email #2Are you really interested in learning more about each other? I’m not a fan of the cover up. Call it how it is.

The opener is weak & comes off as bulk email. What exactly made you reach out?

This is a very sensitive issue & pretty presumptuous to approach it in this way.

The subject line is lame, boring & overused. Saying you did research is not the same as demonstrating it.

Asking if he’s the right person is your responsibility. Do a quick search on LinkedIn.

Crappy Email #3No one says ”dear” anymore – this isn’t a letter to your grandma.

It looks like a bad info product ad from the 90s. It feels sketchy & hard to read.

This is a very sensitive issue & pretty presumptuous to approach it in this way.

I’d never read it because it’s too long. The bold & all caps scream spam to me.

They show immediately they don’t understand me. Wait for reps to sell the solution to drive interest.

Crappy Email #4CEO to CEO email should be strong & confident. Always have a proofreader.

This shows lack of email in grammar. There is zero personalization beyond title & company.

Appreciate the attempt to build rapport, but it’s in the wrong place.

They show immediately they don’t understand me. Wait for reps to sell the solution to drive interest.

One paragraph doesn’t flow to the next – each has a completely separate tone/feel. And that’s a terrible CTA.

Crappy Email #5

Tell me exactly how you helped someone like me. Bonus points if it was someone in my network.

Why is the pitch last? I probably didn’t make it that far because I wouldn’t just accept this offer to chat.

It was short & to the point, but if Charlie was the right guy, it’d be good. Also, maybe use a Calendly link.

Way too long of a PS. It’s longer than the body of the email!

“Given your role” isn’t personalization. It’s a cop out. Why should I spend 15 minutes with you?

Crappy Email #6

It seems like an email with a CTA to send more info. Have more of an ask than that.

The signature block is gargantuan & a turn off, especially for someone who specializes in email marketing.

Love the stats. Unfortunately, with no personalization as to why Engagio, it comes off spamy.

There’s nothing wrong with the 2nd paragraph, but it adds no value here. Use it in the follow up instead.

I may be interested in the report, but not discussing it yet. Also, do some more research.

Crappy Email #7

Avoid vague statements. If I have to think too hard how to respond, I don’t respond.

Punctuation, grammar & fluidity are lacking here. Also, it doesn’t say how they can help me.

Why would anyone want a demo from this person? And a demo of what?

Why would Jon stop what he’s doing to explain how his team approaches outbound?

1st sentence is bad. If I satisfied everyone curiosity who sends me a cold email…

Crappy Email #8

Maybe highlight some quotes from the video that would be compelling to the specific buyer.

This email is too pushy and feels desperate. There’s not enough context to make the stat seem credible.

This specific use of links would make it go to spam. Perhaps follow up with links if the person replies.

You lost me at the subject line. And if I’m too busy, why would I watch a video? Take the time to personalize.

Nothing on the face of the planet increases win rates by 83%, so someone is smoking something.

Crappy Email #9

It starts off strong but fails to tell me what they do. Real time insights are great, but what exactly is that?

He didn’t respond because it was irrelevant. Try different messaging or another value prop.

Did he get the email… of course he did! There are too many reasons to name why he didn’t respond.

Raising funding is old. If You’re reaching out because we raised money makes me think you don’t care about me.

It wastes valuable space with a throw away line. The companies mentioned have nothing to do with Engagio.

Crappy Follow Up #1No one says ”dear” anymore – this isn’t a letter to your grandma.

Another vague, worthless email. No value. How quickly will this get marked as spam?

Weird fonts & cold school ads are suspect. It doesn’t take much effort to get your email up to 2016 standards.

Follow ups need more context. Remind them briefly why they should connect.

Pretty much an empty email, but at least Nick got to tick an activity as completed in his CRM!

Crappy Follow Up #2The subject line is too vague. Remember, the subject & the 1st 10 words is what you see on on preview.

Do everything you can to find out what’s important to your prospect. Seek to understand them & their situation.

I haven’t responded to you once, I’m not going to send you to someone else. Also, you can’t have 2 CTAs.

The entire email is very vague. There’s nothing compelling about it at all.

No effort on the subject line. Nothing like the guilt “I didn’t heard back from you.” Poor you.

The 1st sentence is too aggressive. I wouldn’t even be interested in reading the rest of the email.

Tone is underrated in email – mind the tone. Avoid making assumptions.

“Contact me to learn more…” Really? Don’t make your recipient work. Also, provide specific benefits.

You’re emailing me, so you’re not holding off. It’s passive aggressive. You haven’t earned the right to use that tone.

Crappy Follow Up #3

The lack of research is painful, as Jon founded Marketo. “Faux” research comes across as disingenuous.

It’s a bad idea to knock competitors. Poorly creating fear, uncertainty & doubt lands you in the junk folder.

It’s generic & doesn’t focus on a big enough benefit or pain. It’s confusing what the company wants.

Be relevant by focusing on the pain you solve. Leverage use cases & case studies.

Don’t be so formal. Write like you talk. I love using contractions like “I’m” & ”we’ve.”

Crappy Follow Up #4

Top 10 Tips for Good Cold Emails

Write like you talk. Keep it conversational and sound like a person!

Always have one definitive CTA.

Don’t bash competitors. It’s extremely off-putting.

Emails should be in black text and a sans serif font. Anything else is distracting and potentially unprofessional.

Never include large graphics, attachments, or signature blocks, as they could be picked up in spam filters.

1.2.3.4.5.

Top 10 Tips for Good Cold Emails

Whenever you have a URL, shorten it usingTINYurl or Bit.ly.

Always proofread your emails.

Keep it simple. Don’t use buzzwords or industry jargon.

Write as if it’s being read on mobile. Use white space & more paragraphs to increase readability.

Spend time on getting the subject line right. They are your 1st impression & teaser for your email.

6.8.8.9.

10.

How to Not SendReally Crappy Cold Emails

Engagio.com/crappy-email-ebook

Get the full, unabridged version with full critiques now.

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