Alice’s Adventures in Negotiation

LandThe Disney

World VersionFlorida Association of Women

LawyersOrlando, Florida

September 20, 2012

Alice’s reality is one where women author their own tales, work out their own problems, expect the extraordinary, and speak their minds.

Negotiation

recognize the opportunity to negotiate

Get your partner to come to your side of the line

• Yielding/Ingratiation• Shaming• Persuasive

argument• Promises of

future action• Threats of

future action• Physical force

Negotiation is Just a Conversation Leading to

Agreement

Build trust• Food, touch • Similarity• Small talk• Likeability

• Kind• Nurturing• Emotional• Weak• Indecisive• Patient• Tolerant• Afraid of conflict

Stereotype threat – anxiety when you believe you might confirm a negative stereotype about your

social group.

Gender Blow Back

• Ask for something you want & haven’t been able to get

• Tell partner who she is; why she keeps saying “no”

• Start conversation with offer

Male Bargaining Advantages

Feel bargaining advantageFeel entitled to more rewardsLess likely to back downUse more distributive tacticsFeel entitled to informationSeen as stronger speakers than

women Seek more powerIntimidate

Female Bargaining Advantages

• Take broad or 'collective' perspective

• Task interconnected and interdependent

• See the big picture • Formulate systematic plan• Share experiences • Look for mutual gain

Within six months of taking top-flight negotiation courses, less than 40% of the women were using the skills they learned, compared to 98% of their male counterparts. When asked why, they said they believed that many of the learned negotiation strategies, tactics and skills were inconsistent with who they believed they were as women, and

specifically in conflict with their identity and how they saw themselves.

We work 22% longer and 10%

faster for the same reward

What the heck are we thinking?????

They’ll notice what I’m doing and reward me

If they don’t reward me, I don’t deserve it

I’ll offend someone and be punished

I’d rather be happy than rich

It’s selfish to ask for myself

• Every negotiation is a mixed motive exchange

• What are the rules?• What interests is

each player serving?

• When there are no rules, you can make them up yourself

Prisoners’ Dilemma

• Two suspects • Insufficient evidence to convict• Offer

– 1 confesses & implicates partner – 1 freed; partner gets 10-year sentence

– Both confess and implicate the other, each receive 5-year sentence.

– both remain silent, 6-months in jail.

• Optimal choice for both cooperate for six-month jail sentence.

• The optimal choice for individual suspect is to rat out his partner and secure his own freedom.

• What is the rational decision?

• If both play red card (uncooperative) each member of pair earns 3 points.

• If both play black card (cooperative), each member of pair earns 4 points.

• If one plays red card & partner plays black, red card earns 5 & black earns 0 points.

• The choice is cooperate or betray. Begin play by holding your card of choice up to your chest.

• On 1, 2, 3, play the card of your choice & record your score.

Tit for Tat

Interest Based Negotiation: Expand pie of benefits to satisfy as many needs, desires, preferences and priorities as possible (“interests”).

The cost of a thing is the amount of life you have to trade for it now or in the future.

Create Value

Identify Interests

Anchor

Frame

Log Roll

Exercise Trade something that is low cost to you

but high value to her – five minutes each.

Bracketing & Hypothetical Offers

Offer Contingencies

Competitive Bargaining

Negotiating with Difficult People

Perceptions of PowerWhy Jerks Get Ahead

Are they difficult or simply uninformed

– Educate them about their true interests, consequences of their actions, our BATNA

– Help them understand what is in their best interest

– Determine whether they’ve misunderstood or ignored a crucial piece of information

Are they irrational or operating under hidden constraints– Institutional– Precedential– Promises to others

• Hidden stakeholders– Deadlines

Are they liars, cheats and thieves or do they have hidden interests?

• Personal (unrelated to you or deal); • Relational (related to you but not to deal, i.e., “face”); • Political, social, cultural

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