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Emotional IntelligenceWhat is it?
Why is it Important?
Facilitator: Linda Batty
November 5, 2013
OSU/Tulsa
PLEASE SET YOUR CELL PHONE ON VIBRATE AND
LEAVE CLASS IF YOU MUST TAKE OR MAKE A CALL.
Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace
Purpose:
To acquaint you with the principles of emotional intelligence and the management application in state government.
Objectives1. Define and describe EI and the relevant
skills and competencies.2. Evaluate your EI and identify strength
and improvement areas.3. Identify the role of EI in the workplace.4. Describe how you think others might see
your actions.5. Identify tips that will enhance your EI.6. Apply EI principles in exercises and
scenarios.
Domains of Competence What strikes you as the characteristic that
stands out or is most noticeable for that “exceptional person”?
– How smart they are, e.g. IQ– How skilled they are in doing their job– How they handle themselves and others in a
crisis or emotionally charged situation, e.g. EQ
What is I.Q.?
• Intelligence Quotient
• Mental Age• Chronological Age = I.Q.
IQ versus EQ
1. When we are looking for a new hire, which one do we emphasize: IQ, Job skills, EQ?
2. Which do you think is most important in the workplace?
If you said Emotional Intelligence…
you are in agreement with the majority.
A growing body of research suggests that emotional intelligence plays a far more important role in job performance and career success than general intelligence and job skills, in fact-- twice as important in technical/professional positions and four times more important in leadership positions.
My First Interest in E.I.
Published in 1995
Emotional IntelligenceDaniel Goleman Notes
• Self-awareness
• Self-management
• Self-motivation
• Empathy
• Social Skills
Understand Your Brain
• 1) Instinct
• 2) Emotions
• 3) Logic
How to Handle an Amygdala Highjack
• Watch Yourself
• Find a Model
• Notice Signals
• Short Circuit the Highjack
• Repeat Steps
• Forgive Yourself
Why people are most often encouraged to “pursue new opportunities”…
• Couldn’t get along with…
• Wasn’t a team player…
• Didn’t fit in…
Emotional Intelligence..!
Emotional Intelligence Definition
Emotional intelligence (EI) is your ability to recognize and understand emotions and yourskill at using this awareness to manage yourself and relationships with others.
EI may be a quality of an executive controlsystem for emotional regulation supported by sites in the brain’s frontal cortex.
Emotional Quotient (EQ) captures the side of life that theIntelligence Quotient (IQ) does not.
Three Components of Emotion:
1. Cognitive Component – [our paradigms]
The thoughts, beliefs and expectations housed in our rational brain that contribute to our emotions.
2. Physiological Component (feelings)-
Within the limbic system, neurons transmit messages from the brain through an electrical and chemical system. Substances called peptides, which are the chemical components of emotions, are carried to every cell of our body and are responsible for triggering the physical sensation of emotional responses such as a racing heart, sweaty palms, etc.
Our “feelings” don’t lie; they help us understand our emotions.
3. Behavioral Component
How emotions are expressed, for example a smile when we feel happy. Nonverbal behaviors are the most common expression of emotions, even when we are trying to hide how we feel.
Recent research using brain scans shows…
The brain’s wiring emphatically relies on emotion over intellect in decision-making.
Our emotional brain is just as important in reasoning as is our rational brain…
• In a sense, we have two brains and two different kinds of intelligence. Emotional intelligence matters just as much as IQ. How we do in life is determined by both.
• When these partners interact well, emotional intelligence rises, as does intellectual ability.
Emotional Intelligence is a partnership!
• Our rational brain can help our emotional brain differentiate real threats from false alarms.
• Our emotions help our rational brain focus on our values and intentions—not just facts.
• Purposeful reflection can eventually help us rewire our limbic system so that our emotional reactions (feelings and behaviors) are in line with our intentions. We want to be able to redirect a hijacking before it takes over and causes us to react in ways that are not healthy or effective.
EI Skill Areas,
What I See
[Perception]
What I Do
[Behavior]
Personal Competence
Self-Awareness Self-Management
Social
CompetenceSocial Awareness Relationship
Management
Moving from Dependence to Interdependence
Habits 4-6
Habit 7
Habits 1-3
Dependence
Interdependence
Independence
Seven Habits
1. Be proactive2. Begin with the end in mind3. Put first things first4. Think win-win5. Seek first to understand, then to be
understood6. Synergize7. Sharpen the saw
Endowments:
Self-awareness
Conscience
Imagination
Independent
will
ResponseStimulus
Proactive or Reactive?
Proactive Response: Respons(ibility) Freedom: Can choose response Condition of the person
Reactive Response: Victim mentality; external locus of controlLiberty: Condition of the environment
Whose Job Is It?This is a story about four people named Everybody,
Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
Emotional Hijacking
• When we perceive a danger or threat, whether or not it is real, the amygdala scans our experience comparing what is happening now with what happened in the past.
• It responds 80-100 times faster than the rational brain. We feel before we think and react without being immediately aware of why.
• Our perception of the current event may be distorted and it may be only vaguely similar to a past event, but the amygdala can trigger the same emotional reaction because it’s not very picky!
When we are emotionally “hijacked”
• The amygdala sends stress hormones to the body that take 3-4 hours to clear out.
• We act in ways we don’t understand or like because of established patterns of behavior from these previous similar emotional situations. This can lead to disastrous consequences for our current relationships.
Emotionally Unintelligent/Intelligent Beliefs
Unintelligent Intelligent•Need to have everyone’s approval
•Am responsible for other’s feelings and solving their problems
•Have to win to feel good
•People & conditions in my life are the source of my problems
•Impossible to please everyone all the time
•Can try to influence others; have no control over their feelings
•Can feel good for trying; not possible to avoid all mistakes
•I can’t always control what happens to me, but I can choose how I respond to life’s circumstances
Emotionally Intelligent Workplaces
• Self-Awareness = Culture [Mission, Vision, Values, Strategic Plan]
• Self-Management = Climate [Flexibility, Control, Policies, Procedures, Walking the talk: values, standards, ethics]
• Social Awareness = [Morale, Diversity, Recognition of and response to needs]
• Relationship Management [Feedback, Group synergy, Response to change and conflict, Collaboration, Influencing goal attainment]
When you find yourself experiencing an emotional hijack:
• Pause. This helps you put on the brakes of your amygdala, shift gears and regroup. Otherwise, your emotional brain rushes ahead, controlling the situation without any help from your rational brain.
• Breathe slowly and deeply. When your head is clear, you are able to think more rationally.
• Listen patiently. Let others finish speaking, even if it takes a while. This calms them and gives you time to think.
• Step outside your body and picture the current situation as if you were watching a movie. What would you recommend the main character do?
When you find yourself experiencing an emotional hijack (cont.):
• Have a mantra to recite to yourself like “In the big scheme of things, does this really matter?” or “Is this the hill I am willing to die on?”
• Take a time-out if you find yourself losing control. Get away from the situation, if possible.
• Move. If you can’t get away, move in some way, like taking a sip of a drink or shifting in your chair.
• Congratulate yourself after successfully avoiding a hijacking. Reflect on how you did it to anchor it for next time.
• If you didn’t avoid the hijacking, avoid rationalizing your reaction. Instead, reflect on what was the probable emotional trigger, what you were feeling and thinking, and how you might avoid the trigger and or the hijacking next time.
When you find yourself resisting a change…
• Admit to yourself that you can’t change the reality but you can change how you react to it.
• Talk through your concerns with someone who is not as invested in the situation to help you gain perspective.
• Make a list of the potential positive outcomes to balance your natural tendency to focus on the negative.
Effective ListeningConstructive Feedback
• Listening with the attitude to learn requires feedback.
• Feedback with the desire to be constructive requires listening.
Emotional Intelligence Interview Questions Emotional Self-Awareness: Tell me about a time when your awareness of your own emotions caused you to change your plan of action. Assertiveness: Tell me about a time when you spoke up knowing that by doing so you were taking a risk. Self-Regard: Please tell us what we can expect as a “Return” on our investment (your salary) in you. Independence: Tell us about a time when you took a critical action in the workplace without being directed to do so. Self-Actualization: Tell us about a time when you felt most fulfilled. What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment? What are you proud of?
Empathy: You notice a co-worker choking back tears throughout a meeting. Nobody else seems to notice because of the way he/she is sitting. The meeting ends. You both get up to leave. What do you do? Social Responsibility: Tell us your thoughts on how you think you can “give back to others/make the world a better place/help others/ be of service” by simply carrying out the duties required by this job. Interpersonal Relationship: What are your thoughts about developing friendships with your coworkers? Problem Solving: Describe a problem you discovered in a previous job and what you did about it. Describe a problem that you solved where you are particularly proud of the solution you came up with. How did you go about solving it? Flexibility: Describe a situation where you had to be extremely flexible.
Reality Testing: Are you more of a dreamer or more of a realist? Give me an example of how someone observing might know this about you. Stress Tolerance: Tell me how you deal with stress. What do you do to proactively deal with stress. Tell me about a time when you had to deal with a lot of stress and how you handled it. Impulse Control: Tell me about your ability to resist the temptation to do things you may later regret. Have you ever done something you later regretted? Happiness: Tell me about a time in your life when you experienced a great deal of “life satisfaction.” What makes you “happy?” Define “happiiness” for me. Optimism: Describe your general attitude to work and life. What does “good attitude” mean to you? This glass I’m holding, how would you describe it – as half-full or half-empty and what’s the difference – is there a difference – does it matter?
9 Qualities of Truly Confident People
1. They take a stand not because they think they are always right… but because they are not afraid to be wrong.
2. They listen ten times more than they speak.3. They duck the spotlight so it shines on others.4. They freely ask for help.5. They think, “Why not me?”6. They don't put down other people.7. They aren’t afraid to look silly…8. And they own their mistakes.9. They only seek approval from the people who really
matter.
