100+New Mails

100+New Mails

…That’s why I used to HATE bad

B2B sales emails.

Then I remembered a favorite comic strip…

Which made me think…

FAction

Grade

People who get

things done don’t

“sync up” and “touch

base” about nothing.

If I make

“partnerships” (kiss of

death in sales) or am

going to try and sell

you back, then I

might do this.

I highly doubt

there is any way

out of discussing

what you’ll try to

sell me – this is

masked interest,

with a giant $ sign

in place of my

face.

Fake personal

touch: You can’t

“miss” 1 in 10,000

people. This is

trying to make too

much out of the one

thing we have in

common.

DAction

Grade

On the plus side, I

legitimately laughed

at this. On the

minus, it was fun to

pass around the

office but not to

inspire the kind of

action desired.

Plus, typo.

Once again, the

most actionless

subject. People

with stuff to do don’t

“check in” about

stuff they’re not

doing yet.

The first two points

are presumptive

and presume that I

read every email

word for word. This

is a “last ditch” effort

that hurts, rather

than helps, a brand.

FAction

Grade

Too long, I didn’t read it either.

On first glance, I am overwhelmed by the amount of information I’m expected

to consume, from the beginning. If you have a ton that you really need to say,

best to break it up by linking to content that seems “helpful” rather than

interruptive.

On second glance, after the opening two lines I am expectant that if it’s so

(companies don’t buy without pain), then somehow I am about to read about a

solution to one of my pains. Not so… the email rapidly turns ironic. Unless I’m

making a presentation like this, I don’t read on to find out what this is about…

As before, action oriented people don’t “sync up”

and “touch base” about projects they’re not doing—

and they don’t “get in touch” either.

I like my company. Misspelling its name either says you

don’t care or bought this off a list and don’t care about

me. It’s hard to “get in touch” with an automated email,

which this seems to be.

On the plus side: it’s short! I read the whole

thing. If this email is lucky enough to hit on my

exact pain of the day, I may actually respond.

But… I don’t like “speaking” with people I don’t

know.

C-Action

Grade

I shouldn’t have, but I actually replied to this one…

it caught me on a day where I felt our content marketing

was going well. True story, this email solidified my resolve

to compose a slideshare.

D+Action

Grade

After the forgettable subject and not-so-genuine how-ya-doin’, this email does get

to the point—I know what is being offered.

Simply deleting this paragraph would

improve it—it’s a call-to-action that’s

early, long, and “a conversation” that I

don’t particularly want to have.

Another clear thesis, with a

link to some info (that I

didn’t click… but would if

this had hit my pain).

B+Action

Grade

DAction

Grade

There are no questions, and three

paragraphs is not “quick.” I don’t like

being tricked.

Typos don’t inspire

confidence.

A previous unsolicited email

sent does not an established

relationship make.

You did look at my website first! This email would’ve been

great if it had simply been the quick question: “Hey, have

you hired the Software Engineer position yet?”

I dislike presumption

Alright, let’s think positive for a minute.

What’s missing? DISCIPLINE.

Proofread it!Align the entire email to

the ONE step

Have ONE action

step in mind

• Forward

• Download

• Reply

• Answer Question

• Fork over your SSN

Delete the rest.

Yes, all of it.(You want a conversation)

::facepalm::(Shouldn’t need saying)

Be reasonable. I’m not going to give my boss’ contact info to a

stranger. I will forward an interesting case study, though.

Isaiah,

Hey, have you hired the Software Engineer position yet?

-Adrian

Summary: It was a quick question, and I would answer this question right away.

Subject: Quick Question – software engineer position

LAST EMAIL IMPROVED

Isaiah,

Coyote Logistics and Dropbox, they achieved X by doing Y at our

suggestion. You can read more about it here.

If lead growth is relevant, would you give me 10 minutes to briefly

describe how we can do the same for you? Here are some

ingredients that we’ve found as most natural for our help to provide

max benefit:

• [now try your best to take a risk and describe my org… if

something rings true, I’ll probably talk… otherwise I won’t]

• [for example, “Is between an A and B round, growing as a SaaS

platform but struggling to ‘lock’ on the exact repeatable sale”]

Summary: The email shouldn’t be sent in the first place, but assuming you are

required to send such emails, let’s make it less of a long shot. Some will click the

“here” link. Be up-front about your intent, and give me signs we may be a fit before I’ll

ever consider “syncing up”.

FIRST EMAIL, let’s try…

Subject: Moar Leads, om nom nom

Want to add to the collection? Now soliciting

round 2 solicitous emails that failed.

1. Use a similar format

2. Feel free to add or not add your name,

twitter handle, and other personal

information

3. Send to isaiah@9lenses.com

100+New Mails

100+New Mails