Collaboration: The Dance

of Contribution

The idea

alistair.cockburn.us

Collaboration:%the dance of contribution

The author

@brown_note

Craig.Brown@Tabar.com.au

dance

Collaboration

See what I did there?

The idea

alistair.cockburn.us

Collaboration:%the dance of contribution

Collaboration:%the dance of contribution

Lift others

Increase safety

Make progress

Add energy

A majority of editors pointed out that

positive interactions – like receiving

compliments and Barnstars from fellow

editors – and positive experiences –

like an article making it to the front

page – made them more likely to edit

Wikipedia.

78% of those editors who

received compliments from

other Wikipedians said that

such interaction increased

their likelihood to edit. Similarly, other positive interactions

that increased the likelihood of

editing include: having an article

selected as a feature article (76%);

having an article make the front page

(72%); having a self-provided picture

used in an article (71%); receiving a

Barnstar.(70%).

- Wikipedia guidelines

Lift others Each person in the room has the opportunity to lift others, to

raise their personal self-esteem, social status, confidence.

There are various ways to accomplish these.

Be courteous. Courtesy is designed to lift others. Ordinary

courtesy includes giving others the chance to speak,

listening, inquiring and abstaining from grandstanding and

other displays of ego. If you have no other idea of how to

proceed, simply be courteous in your interactions.

Lower your social posture. Speaking from a lowered posture

means placing others at your same level or higher by tone

and gesture (it does not mean groveling). The book Impro gives

more specific tips as to how to behave in a lower status

position, but the book also highlights at the same time that

people simply know how to behave the moment they decide on

their relative status.

If everyone does this, the result can be simply wonderful.

Everyone cherishes what everyone else says, each person

grants the others the right to be an expert in their own

views. This was the way I experienced the writing of the Agile

Manifesto. Each person listened intently to each other person,

each granted the others the status of expert in their

speaking, nobody claimed higher status than the others. We

achieved great results in that day and a half.

Listen intently. Pay close attention to the speaker, digest

what the person says, and then ask a question that shows that

you have understood what they said and are taking it to a

new level.

Recognize others. Delight in the ways other people find to

implement their ideas, and let them know that. Ask for their

thoughts. When possible, accept one of their ideas.

Increase safety The essence of collaboration is establishing in people’s minds

that it is OK for them to contribute whatever they have. To the

extent they feel fear, they close down. To the extent they feel

safe, they contribute.

Be yourself. People seem to be able to tell if you are acting or

being yourself. If they sense acting, they are likely to become

nervous about what you might be hiding. Being yourself indicates

there is nothing to be afraid of. Part of “being in the bar waiting

for the second round of drinks” is being obviously relaxed and

your regular self.

Donate. If people see that you are not afraid to give away your

ideas, they feel safer in offering up their own.

Widen the boundary. (Evidently my favorite move.) Say or do

something that you would like to say or do but which might lie

outside the expected boundaries. If you once demonstrate that this

sort of statement or action is acceptable, it widens the

boundaries of what others can do. Quite possibly, what others were

afraid to say or do suddenly appear “safe” to them.

Support others. Help clarify someone else’s viewpoint. Let someone

else come forward who has trouble getting heard.

Challenge but adopt ideas. Challenging others is part of widening

the boundaries. Adopting ideas lifts others and also indicates

that it is safe for others to offer ideas.

Build personal relationships. Part of building a personal

relationship is indicating that you won’t say something to hurt

the other person. With someone to back them up and protect them, a

person who is otherwise very shy might feel brave enough to step

forward and contribute.

Not betray. Don’t leak information that will hurt someone. This

should be quite obvious.

Leave some privacy. Finally, leave some space for people to hide

in. If there is nowhere safe to hide, then fear goes up again and

safety goes down.

Make progress Success breed success. Getting no results is

depressing, making progress encourages the

people in the room. There are, of course, several

ways to contribute toward making progress.

Say something valuable. Try to make sure that

your first speaking contributes something of

value. This not only moves the work forward, but

also predisposes others to listen to what you

have to say.

Clarify the way forward. Sometimes what helps is

to “pull the threads together” and illustrate

either what has been achieved, where the group

is, or even better, show what the way forward

looks like.

Focus. Stay on track, pull others back if they get

too far off track. Sometimes going off track for a

little while releases some tension in the room,

but people seem to appreciate being brought back

Get a result. Getting the first result of the day

is very heartening. If the day is coming to a

close, it is possible to set up a very small goal,

just so that the people in the room have the

experience of victory. Good facilitators seem

always to be able to generate some sort of

victory to help encourage and bind the group.

Add energy This last category is minor compared to

the others, but still noticeable. Lethargic

people drain energy from others in the

room; those interested, curious and active

lend energy to the others in the room.

Keep your energy high. Avoid being

lethargic yourself. Even just sitting alert

and listening intently contributes energy

to the room.

Challenge. Challenge others’ ideas, not to

put them down, but to explore the truth and

the limits of the idea. Challenging

someone’s idea is part of being honest, part

of helping to make progress, part of

listening intently.

Contribute. Finally, of course, contributing

your own ideas adds energy to the room. If

everyone only sits and listens, the group

will wind down.

http://alistair.cockburn.us/Collaboration%3A+the+dance+of+contribution

Lift others

• Be courteous

• Lower your social posture

• Listen intently

• Recognize others

Increase safety

• Be yourself

• Donate

• Widen the boundary

• Support others

• Challenge but adopt ideas

• Build personal relationships

• Don’t betray

Make progress

• Success breed success

• Say something valuable

• Clarify the way forward

• Focus

• Get a result

Add energy

• Challenge

• Contribute

• Keep your energy high

Share out themes among observers to help you focus

Challenge

• Challenge others' ideas, not to put people down but to explore the truth and limits of the ideas.

• Challenging an idea is part of being honest, listening intently, and making progress

Contribute

• Contributing your own ideas adds energy to the room.

• If everyone only sits and listens, the group will wind down.

• When people see that you are not afraid to give away your ideas, they also feel safer in offering up their own

Keep your energy high

• Listen intently

• Avoid being lethargic yourself.

• Body posture, muscle tone, eye alertness, all communicate your energy level.

• Even just sitting alert contributes energy to the room. Pay close attention to the speaker, digest what they say, ask a question.

Lower your relative social

position

• By tone of voice and gesture, place the other person at your same level or higher.

• This includes self-deprecating humor.

• It does not mean groveling.

Recognize others

• Ask for their thoughts, accept an idea.

• When you build on their idea, let them know, so they get recognition.

• Delight in the ways they find to implement their ideas.

Inquire, don't contradict

• When inclined to contradict, inquire instead, to discover new information that makes the answer other than what you expected.

• Work to understand why the other person's answer is so different.

Challenge but adopt

• It is uplifting when someone disagrees with you at first, but then sees and adopts your view.

• Do this for someone else. Look to adopt their ideas where possible, so they know they are heard and their ideas valued.

Get one result

• Getting a result is heartening.

• Good facilitators often generate a victory to help encourage and bind the group.

• If the session is ending, aim for a small goal, so that the group can end with a victory.

Get back from diversions

• Keep your ideas on topic.

• Going off track for a little while releases some tension in the room, but people appreciate being brought back.

Say something valuable

• Try to make your first speaking of value.

• This moves the work forward, and it encourages others to listen to you.

Clarify the way forward

• Sometimes it helps to "pull the threads together", show what has been achieved, what forward looks like, or where the group is.

Show you won't hurt

• Show that you won't say things that hurt the other person. With someone to back up and protect them, a person might feel brave enough to step in and contribute.

• Leave some privacy. If there is nowhere safe to hide, fear goes up and safety goes down.

• Don't leak information that will hurt someone. This should be obvious.

Be yourself

• People can usually tell if you are being yourself or acting. Being yourself shows there is nothing to be afraid of.

• Try "being in the bar at 9pm with friends," quite obviously relaxed and your regular self. (This is not an excuse to be crude.)

Say something honest, on the

edge of what you think is allowed

• Say or do something that you would like to, but which might lie outside the expected boundaries.

• This widens the boundaries of what others can do. What others were afraid to say or do may suddenly appear "safe" to them.

Add humor

• Humor lowers tension, allows relaxation.

• It is not the making of a joke that increases safety, it is that safe groups feel safe joking with each other.

• Personal attacks disguised as jokes do not count.

Meetings Observations

Coaching Reflections

instructions

Form groups of 5-7

Roles;

• Storyteller,

• Interviewer,

• Up to 4 observers,

• Someone is the

facilitator

Tell stories about

your projects.

• Talk about what

others did; sponsors,

stakeholders, team

members

Observers make a note

which behaviours are

displayed in the story

5 minute iterations,

3 minute review,

swap roles

Challenge • Challenge others' ideas, not to put people down but to explore the truth and limits of the ideas.

• Challenging an idea is part of being honest, listening intently, and making progress.

Contribute • Contributing your own ideas adds energy to the room.

• If everyone only sits and listens, the group will wind down.

• When people see that you are not afraid to give away your ideas, they also feel safer in offering up their own.

Keep your energy high

• Avoid being lethargic yourself.

• Body posture, muscle tone, eye alertness, all communicate your energy level.

• Even just sitting alert contributes energy to the room. Pay close attention to the speaker, digest what they say,

ask a question.

Lower your relative

social position

• By tone of voice and gesture, place the other person at your same level or higher.

• This includes self-deprecating humor.

• It does not mean groveling.

Recognize others • Ask for their thoughts, accept an idea.

• When you build on their idea, let them know, so they get recognition.

• Delight in the ways they find to implement their ideas.

Inquire, don't

contradict

• When inclined to contradict, inquire instead, to discover new information that makes the answer other than what

you expected.

• Work to understand why the other person's answer is so different.

Challenge but adopt • It is uplifting when someone disagrees with you at first, but then sees and adopts your view.

• Do this for someone else. Look to adopt their ideas where possible, so they know they are heard and their ideas

valued.

Get one result • Getting a result is heartening.

• Good facilitators often generate a victory to help encourage and bind the group.

• If the session is ending, aim for a small goal, so that the group can end with a victory.

Get back from

diversions

• Keep your ideas on topic.

• Going off track for a little while releases some tension in the room,

• but people appreciate being brought back.

Say something

valuable

• Try to make your first speaking of value.

• This moves the work forward, and it encourages others to listen to you.

Clarify the way

forward

• Sometimes it helps to "pull the threads together", show

what has been achieved,

• what forward looks like, or

where the group is.

Show you won't hurt

• Show that you won't say things that hurt the other person. With someone to back up and protect them, a person

might feel brave enough to step in and contribute.

• Leave some privacy. If there is nowhere safe to hide, fear goes up and safety goes down.

• Don't leak information that will hurt someone. This should be obvious.

Be yourself

• People can usually tell if you are being yourself or acting. Being yourself shows there is nothing to be afraid

of.

• Try "being in the bar at 9pm with friends," quite obviously relaxed and your regular self. (This is not an excuse to

be crude.)

Say something honest,

on the edge of what

you think is allowed

• Say or do something that you would like to, but which might lie outside the expected boundaries.

• This widens the boundaries of what others can do. What others were afraid to say or do may suddenly appear "safe"

to them.

Add humor • Humor lowers tension, allows relaxation.

• It is not the making of a joke that increases safety, it is that safe groups feel safe joking with each other.

• Personal attacks disguised as jokes do not count.

share back

@brown_note

Craig.Brown@Tabar.com.au

Alistair's article should be

read to get his ideas without

dilution from me.

You can read the Dance of

Collaboration here; • http://alistair.cockburn.us/Collaboration

%3a+the+dance+of+contribution

My take on this is that it is

a when we mature into collaborators

we are all leaders, and we need to

make room for each other. To do that

we need to become even better leaders

by becoming more self aware and

kinder to each other, while

maintaining focus on getting things

done.

There is a story I sometimes

use to illustrate the challenge of

leadership; among equals.

When travelling with friends

you all defer to each other about

where to eat. You pass by one

restaurant after another in the

hope that something magical will

appear that pulls the whole crown

in without you having to be the one

that makes the decision.

The place you hoped for never

appears and you end up having

microwaved food from a convenience

store before heading back to the

hotel. If only we had a better way

of stepping in and out of leadership

roles…

There is also a nice idea here

that, as we mature in our ability to

collaborate we can use metaphors

like dancing instead of combat and

sports to describe the way we work.

Perhaps we need a whole new set of

stories to be collaborators.

Craig Brown

June 2013