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Marriage and Money Matters
By Ed Coambs
Modern Day Tragedy
Success at the things that don’t matterTim Clinton, AACC President
What Matters Then?What do we all want from money?
* Wealth, Prosperity, Freedom
No, it is peace. What does financial peace mean as a Christian? The ability to do what God has called you to do.
A Model for Well Being
Adapted from Catherin Hart Weber
Baptism in
Christ
Social Emotional
Financial
PhysicalVocational
Intellectual
Telling yourself the truth
How do you see yourself*****
How do others see you*****
Marriage and Money Argument Cycle
3 F’s of Financial Influence
Money Does Grow on Trees
On your family tree
What money patterns, beliefs, values have been passed down from generation to generation
We need look no further then our common groupings of the poor, middle class, and wealthy
Rules that govern the patterns of interaction and decision making
May rules are implicit, i.e. not stated directly
How much money is growing on your family tree?
Patterns of Poor Money Decisions
Emotional Behavioral Cognitive Relational
Bad Money Decisions
Patterns of Good Money Decisions
Emotional Behavioral Cognitive Relational
Good Money Decisions
The Rope of Life
Focusing on your past, present and future as forming your rope of life will give you strength, but if you ignore any of these aspects of life
then your rope will be weakened.
Financial Independence vs. Financial Interdependence
Financial Independence says that at some point you can have enough money that you will never have to worry about being supported
Financial Interdependence says that we live in a network of people, and count on them to maintain financial security
Independence vs. Interdependence
More Money Will Not Solve Your PROBLEMS
Amt of $
Extreme Poor Wealthy
Number of Decisions
Multiple Streams of Love form Rich Relationships
How Money Mature Are You?
Infant Behaves in a completely dependent manner, requires full financial support
Toddler - Exercises little self control, and often makes poor decisions requiring guidance. - Demonstrates little knowledge of how money works
Adolescent – Only thinking of self
-Starting to make wiser choices about where and when to use money.- Keeps some savings, but not enough to support themselves in case of an emergency.- Understands basic financial concepts such as savings and checking. -Money identity; The things I own define who I am
How Money Mature Are You?
Young Adult – Considers needs of other family members
-Learning to make wiser choices, but still make a poor decision from time to time-Looking to the future and is saving.-Using a checking and savings account without a problem-Starting to give away money from time to time-Proper insurances in place-Has a basic understanding of investing and taxes-Sees money as a source of identity
Mature Adult – Thinks of family, self, & community
-Consistently makes wise choices-Has control over debt management-Regularly saving, investing and giving money away-Understands investing, insurance and has an estate plan-Questions money as a source of identity
How Money Mature Are You?
Senior Adult – Knows needs of family, self & community
-Is looking to leave a legacy-Has confidence in their financial security-Regularly works with financial professionals to plan for the future-Does not see money as a source of their significance, but rather as a tool to create value for others
Components of a Great Financial Plan
GodFinancial Plan
Investments
Insurance
Checking a
nd Savin
gs
Estate
Plan
Emotions
Relationsh
ips
Beliefs
Values
Desires
BehaviorsGoals
4 Most Important Financial Statements
You + Christ = True Worth
Statement of Personal Accomplishments
What you own – What you owe = Net worth
Commanders intent budget
True Worth Misguided
Balance
Father
Husband StudentCounselor in training
God
Imago Dei
Earthly Identity
Heavenly Identity
True Worth Aligned
Balance
Father
Husband StudentCounselor
in training
God
Imago Dei
Earthly Identity
Heavenly Identity
Statement of Personal Accomplishments
Understanding Net Worth
Tangible Assets Tangible Liabilities
Assets = What you own Liabilities = What you owe
Increasing Assets = Home and Investments
Increasing Liabilities = Unpaid debt, often credit cards
Decreasing Assets = Cars, Boats, etc.
Decreasing Liabilities = Mortgage, Student Loan, Car Loan.
Understanding Net Worth
Intangible Assets Intangible Liabilities
Assets = Relationships Liabilities = Relationships
Increasing Assets = Family, Job, Faith, Friendships
Increasing Liabilities = Bad/broken relationships, poor job fit
Net WorthExample
What I Own $ What I Owe $
Home Value 200,000 Mortgage 150,000
Car Value 15,000 Car Loan 3,000
Checking and Savings
5,000 Credit Card Debt
3,000
Investments 40,000 Student Loan 30,000
Other 1,000 Other 500
Total 261,000 Total 186,500
Net Worth 261,000 – 185,600
= 75,400
Getting Budgeting RightBalance
Understanding
Direction
Gifts
Extra
Time
Commanders Intent Budget
Know your fixed expenses
Be flexible with your variable expenses
The battle plan will change throughout the month. Remain flexible
Know your total resources for any given month
Pay Increase to Bump the Budget
Generosity Works
Robert Emmons of U.C. Davis a researcher of GRATITUDE has found that people who regularly practice attitudes of gratitude on average have a 7% higher income level.
Take Homes on Gratitude1. Life is a continual invitation to gratitude
2. Gratitude is a choice that we aim for (attention, intention, memory)
3. Gratitude is the best approach to life
On Saving- Just because you buy stuff on sale does not
mean you are a great saver.
- Ex. Walking in to Target to get milk and come out also with a new shirt for 50% off.
- You are someone that can buy things marked down in price, which is just a gimmick to get you to buy
On Saving ContinuedSomeone who is a great saver can start with a
$100 at one point.
Then at another predetermined point have a larger amount of money like $200.
If they are a great saver, they will continue this process
On Investing for the Future
PUT TOGETHER A SLIDE ON THE POWER OF COMPOUNDING INTEREST
Money TriggersMoney triggers cause you to buy things with out
thinking
You see a sale sign, you do what?
You go to the movies, you buy what?
You go out to eat, what happens?
On the internet, what is happening?
Money TriggersEverything has a label
Money triggers play on our senses of feelings and emotions, not logic.
We use logic to justify the purchase after we have been triggered
Why are all the deserts out in front at Panera?
Dealing with Money Triggers
Carry no cash, debit cards, or credit cards for a few days and see how many times you go to buy something without thinking.
Something less extreme, carry only enough cash for what you intend to buy for that day. Try this for a week.
Legacy“When we forget who we are, we forget what to do.
When we remember who we are, we know what to do” Mark Driscol
Who are we then and why spend all this time talking about money?
Because we are children of God and the actions and decisions we take with the money God has entrusted us with, reflect who we are and what we stand for.
Are you using wealth for your kingdom or His?
Keeping Perspective God has not called us to impress people, but rather impact
people, make an impact not an impression. Rick Rigsby
Ego is the anesthesia that numbs the pain of stupidity. Rick
Rigsby
In our culture it is so much better to appear good then be good. Rick Rigsby
A tattered Bible, an empty closet (metaphorical and literal) Charles Spergeon
God is a process oriented God, yet we live in an outcome oriented world. Rick Rigsby
Confusion is my friend, some of my best insights have come out of confusion. Donald Harvey
Parking LotMoney is a control issue like eating disorders,
ultimately people are trying to seek control.
Transition from checkbooks to check cards, no longer do you have to document you checking balance because you can always check online. In the checkbook days if you did not keep your balance you where lost until the end of the month.
Parking Lot Cont.It’s the subtle money decisions that are derailing
many families from accomplishing their financial goals and desires, not always the one big bad decision. Think of a ripple effect and how secret shopping, splurge purchases, and the extra 10% you spend with out realizing it. There is a lot of money going down the drain and creating no meaningful impact in your life or the life of others.
Parking Lot Cont.Money Blind Spots
Financial Infidelity
Retail Therapy
Technology and money