Divorce prevention 101 pt 3

Divorce Prevention 101 pt. 3Staying Married

ByBrian Birdow

www.cmcoc.org

Top reasons for divorce

1. Lack of Communication

2. Finances

3. Trust issues

Communication

• Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver (esv)

• Saying the right thing at the right time!

• This is not saying lie!

Communication• Proverbs 12:25 (ESV) “Anxiety in a man’s heart

weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” 

• Everyone struggles with difficulties and challenges at some point in their lives, and these anxieties will often lead to stress or fear. In this passage, though, King Solomon reminds the reader that a good word shared or spoken by someone can actually lift up another person who is suffering with a certain problem or burden. In other words, good communication involves being aware of the struggles of others and helping to ease another person’s cares with a “good word.”

Remember Job’s Friends?• They made him sad and accused him of doing

wrong!

• Job 13:4 "But you smear with lies; You are all worthless physicians.

• Job 4:7-8 "Remember now, who ever perished being innocent? Or where were the upright destroyed? "According to what I have seen, those who plow iniquity And those who sow trouble harvest it.

Communication must be honest• 2 Samuel 12. . . . . . Turn with me please

• Vs. 7 Nathan then said to David, "You are the man!

• How does my hair look? How does my food taste?

• How does my dress fit? Isn't my mom great?

• Do you like my boots? Do you like my suit?

• Isn’t that the most beautiful baby ever?

What shuts down communication?• Past hurt feelings

• Not being received well!

• Knowing that you are going to get barked at!

• Rude, Smart-al-ik comments

• Feeling like you have to walk on eggshells

• Knowing that it will start an argument!

The KEY to finances

• Hebrews 13:5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Finance

• Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

• 1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

There is always something• New car

• New house

• New boat

• New motorcycle

• New Truck

• New T.V.

• New sound system

• New grill

• New clothes

• New shoes

• New furniture

• New appliances

• New flooring

• New tools

Finances and sound advice• Put your money together into one account!

• If the wife works don’t depend on her income. Live off his income and save hers.

• Make it a priority for the wife to be at home with the kids and not daycare.

• Live under your means.

• Save money even if it is just a few dollars put it back.

Finance• Proverbs 22:7 The rich rules over the poor,

and the borrower is the slave of the lender.

• Acts 20:35 In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

Feeling constrained?

• If I was still single….

• I would be working at ____ if not for my __

• If I did not have children our life would be__

• My spouse has stopped me from_______

Feeling constrained

• If my spouse would only do______

• We could have________

• Our life would be so much better

• We could do so much more with _______

Unmet expectations

• I thought by now we would be_____

• You should be finished with_______

• They should be farther along than this

• Why don’t we have_________

One flesh

• Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

• 1. These two shall be one flesh, shall be considered as one body, having no separate or independent rights, privileges, cares, concerns, etc., each being equally interested in all things that concern the marriage state.

One Flesh

• 2. These two shall be for the production of one flesh; from their union a posterity shall spring, as exactly resembling themselves as they do each other. (Adam Clarke)

Philippians 2:3

• Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Law of Grace (rom.6:14-18)

Heard and Learned

Believe

Repent

Confess

Be Baptized

John 6:45

John 8:24

Acts 2:38, 3:19,17:30 Luke 13:3,5

Rom 10:10, Acts 8:37

Matt 28:18,19, Acts 8:35-39; Mark 16:15-16