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An excerpt from the spiritual fiction bestseller, 3 Lives, in search of bliss. The book is orderable on flipkart and amazon.
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3 LIVES
in search of bliss
3 LIVES | iii
Srini Chandra Srini Chandra was born in the city formerly known as
Madras in India in 1968, where he learned to play the violin
and studied French from the Alliance Francaise. He received
a bachelor’s degree in engineering from the Indian Institute
of Technology, Madras, where he played on the basketball,
cricket and athletics teams, captained volleyball and served
as a 3-term student senator. His academic qualifications
include master’s degrees from Ohio State University and
Carnegie Mellon University, where he was awarded the
prestigious Heinz Fellowship.
After over a dozen years of of study, work and life in
the United States, and a stint in Singapore, he moved back to
India and is now settled in Bangalore. Srini’s professional
career spans two decades in global leadership roles in general
management and marketing at some of the world’s leading
high technology companies.
Srini is a student of philosophy, science and spirituality.
His travels have taken him to over forty countries around the
world (including a motorcycle trek up the world’s highest
motorable road) and have served to reaffirm his abiding
belief in the one-ness of all things. He lives in Bangalore,
India with his lovely wife and two daughters. 3 Lives, in
search of bliss is his first published literary work.
http://srinic.in
iv | SRINI CHANDRA
Copyright © 2010 Srini Chandrasekharan
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any
means, without the prior permission in writing of the
copyright owner, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of
binding or cover other than that in which it is published and
without a similar condition, including this condition, being
imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
ISBN-10: 1463762550
ISBN-13: 978-1463762551
Published 2012
http://srinic.in
3 LIVES
in search of bliss
All characters in this book are fictional and any resemblance
to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
For Sudha, Swara and Sanjana
It is due to the will of the universe that this book has
come about. Where this book will go, who it will touch
and what it will accomplish, I lay in its hands.
Let thy will be done.
Author’s Foreword
Language is a tool that uses symbols to describe
experiences. It has limitations. When experience is
translated into words, there is always a loss. If there is
imperfect usage of language by the author, the losses
can cause insurmountable differences between
experience and understanding. It is with this admission
that I begin this exercise.
Perfect communication is a shared experience,
where no words are required to be said. Until we open
ourselves to experience, words will have to suffice.
Happiness is elusive. It is hard to describe. It never
lasts. The machinations of a restless mind ensure this. Is
there an illusion? What is the illusion? Who is it to say
what within this illusion is worth pursuing?
Many questions. No answers.
I hope that reading 3 Lives is as transformational
for you as writing it was for me.
In all humility, I invite you to share an experience.
The spirit of the universe dances to its own tune. It
connects everything - dust, rocks, plants, animals, men,
stars and galaxies - by this mysterious rhythm. The
greatest of peace comes from surrendering to its will.
3 LIVES
in search of bliss
2 | SRINI CHANDRA
Whatever the universe assigns to any man at any time is for the good of that man at that time. - Marcus Aurelius, “Meditations”, 167 A.D.
Chapter 1
A long time ago in Brooklyn, New York.
Death comes in many forms. To Ray Cordoza, it
came in the form of a fidgety eighteen year old with
thin eyebrows, a gaunt face and sunken eyes that
reflected the torment of his soul.
Ray’s final act began exactly three hours after
midnight on his forty second birthday. It came
unannounced and as a matter of fact. He was seated in
his cab, stopped at a light. A steady drizzle threatened
to take a more substantial turn. Most days tired him.
Today was no exception. The comforting embrace of
sleep beckoned. A warm bed in his house was fifteen
minutes away, and he longed for its softness.
“Go! Go! Step on it!” The boy came running and
hurled himself into the car. Ray looked around in
surprise.
Who was this kid? He had come out of nowhere. Where
did he come from?
“Sorry, pal. I’m done for the day. I’ll drop you at
the corner. Ok?”
Ray looked in the mirror.
2 | SRINI CHANDRA
The occupant in the back seat edged about
nervously, groping his oversize jacket. Something
didn’t seem right. His instinct was correct.
“Not ok. Keep driving. Unless you want a bullet in
the back of your head,” the boy’s voice quivered.
Ray looked in the mirror again. The neon from the
passing building lights glanced off a revolver in the
boy’s hand which seemed to twitch uncontrollably. The
tormented eyes looked straight back at him through the
mirror.
“Ok. Ok. Take it easy. Where do you want to go?”
This was no time to be a hero. Ray had never
thought of himself as one. In fact, he reveled in the
shadows of obscurity, content to be ordinary and
unnoticed.
“Just keep driving!” the boy shouted. “No more
questions. I am sick and tired of questions. Do you
understand?”
The rain was coming down in sheets now. The
road was desolate. Not a soul to be found.
“Ok. I get it. No more questions. Calm down, pal.
I’ll drive you wherever you want. Just be calm, all
right?”
3 LIVES | 3
Ray’s voice was hoarse. He began to feel sick to his
stomach, muscles knotting up involuntarily. Fear had
begun to take its grip.
“Shut up. Don’t tell me to be calm. You sound like
one of them,” the boy shouted.
Them? Who’s them?
The boy was crazy. Without doubt, he was
intoxicated or on drugs or maybe even both.
“Turn here. Here. Here. Here!”
He had not noticed the alley on the left. The rain
was a blinding downpour. The wipers were fighting a
battle they couldn’t win. He managed to swerve into
the narrow lane, brakes screeching as he tried to avoid
the bins lined up on the side. They had entered a dead
end. How ironic, he thought. He slowly pulled to a
stop.
Now what?
Ray’s throat was dry. Beads of sweat left streaks in
their anxiety to escape down his face.
“Get out. Out of the car. Slowly,” the boy growled.
Ray shrugged. He didn’t have a choice. He slowly
climbed out.
4 | SRINI CHANDRA
The dark clouds pouring out their fury took
vantage positions to watch him playing out his final
moments.
“Take it easy, pal. I won’t tell anyone. Just don’t
shoot, ok?” Ray pleaded.
The hazy figure in front of him raised a hand. His
hopes sank. Frozen in fear, Ray stood still. He could
barely see in front of him. His mind went blank when
he heard the first shot. The bullet struck him in the
middle of his broad chest.
“God...damn.”
A second bullet pierced his stomach. Waves of
shock cascaded through his body, transforming into
pain as they spread.
He felt his knees buckle as he fell to the ground.
The world swirled around him. As he lay on his back,
rain lashing his face, Ray Cordoza knew that he had but
a few minutes left. His breathing became labored and
his heart heavy with anger.
“What did I do to deserve this?”
Eyes open, he stared at the skies for an answer.
His vision blurred as he fought to stay awake. The faces
of Maria and their daughter, Ana floated in front of his
mind’s eye.
3 LIVES | 5
This was not expected. He was not ready to die
yet. This was not fair.
His fingers clutched the crucifix that dangled from
his neck. He wore it only to remind him of Sister
Conway.
“It will protect you from the darkness of evil.”
She had promised. She had been his angel of
mercy.
He had long abandoned her God. His prayers had
gone unanswered far too many times. But desperation
converts even the strongest mind. He prayed one last
time.
“God, please save me. Give me another chance. I
am begging you,” he gasped.
The eternal night closed in without mercy.
Everything began to go black. Sister Conway’s God had
abandoned him yet again. As hope evaporated, anger
took its place.
“God... damn you. Are you listening? Are you
even there? Why me?”
He cursed God for the final time, his cry of
anguish echoing through all of space and time.
6 | SRINI CHANDRA
Somewhere out there in the vast chasm of
nothingness, Ray Cordoza’s cry was heard.
An early jogger found his body the next morning.
“Cordoza. Cabby. Brooklyn. Homicide. Cab
missing. Presumed stolen.” A police officer called it in.
In the end, that’s what it all comes down to. A few
prosaic words suffice to describe a life of forty two
years.
The Cordoza’s were a loyal clan. They came to his
funeral. Maria spoke of him as a good and decent man.
His friends whispered amongst themselves as they
recalled memories.
A freshly dug grave accepted its occupant and
closed upon itself without protest.
“Even though I walk through the shadow of the
valley of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
Your rod and thy staff. They comfort me.”
Father Connor’s voice drifted through the gentle
drizzle that had set in. He had known Ray since he was
a boy.
“Ray, God bless you. May your soul rest in peace.”
Ray Cordoza’s mortal remains thus reached their
resting place.
3 LIVES | 7
At that moment, Ray was preoccupied with more
pressing matters that lie between life and death. He felt
himself drifting out of the heaviness of being into light
nothingness. It was like he had woken up from a deep
slumber inside a dream. He sensed the expanse of
nothingness that surrounded him.
How do you sense nothingness?
That’s when he heard the Voice.
“I heard you, Ray.”
It seemed to come from a blanket of serene void.
Like a ray of light entering through a crack in the wall,
it seemed to have a source but spread everywhere.
The voice startled him. As Ray awakened into his
post mortem, he recollected his last moments. He felt
himself where the bullets had struck. Funny, there was
no pain. He remembered the darkness closing in. And,
he could sense the light that had taken its place.
“God... damn you. Are you even there? Are you
listening? Why me?”
His final words echoed again in the emptiness.
Where am I? Surely I must be dead?
8 | SRINI CHANDRA
Wait. Am I in a hospital? Whose voice was that? How
did it know what I said? Maybe this is just a dream?
Thoughts raced. Hope surged.
“Sorry, Ray. You, my friend, are truly and
positively dead,” the Voice interrupted his rambling
thoughts. It sounded apologetic.
Ray was a pragmatic man. The weight of the
words sank quickly.
“I am dead. But, where am I? How am I still
having thoughts? Whose voice is that?”
“Glad to see you taking it in stride. Many struggle
even after dying. You are in what lies after death, Ray.”
“Who are you…? Why can’t I see you?” Ray spoke
cautiously.
Wait. if this is the after-life… Then the Voice? that
must be … Could it be?
Ray was taken aback.
“There is a God? I would have never thought..”
Ray wavered in uncertainty. Nothing disappoints
an atheist more than meeting God.
3 LIVES | 9
“Now, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, Ray. I am
quite used to being a figment of imagination,” the Voice
was amused.
Ray had never given much thought to the afterlife.
He recalled Sister Conway again, and her words every
Sunday in church.
“Heaven awaits ye who perfect the love for God in your
hearts.”
“Wondering if you should have paid more
attention to her, Ray?” the Voice chuckled.
“I guess I should have. Though, I can hardly be
blamed,” Ray was defensive.
“Blame? We don’t use that word around here.
There are no mistakes, Ray. There are only
experiences.”
“I lost faith in the God I was taught to believe in a
long time back. Here I am now. It seems that I have put
myself at the wrong end of a big bet.”
“I am merely curious to know if you have changed
your mind. That option is always available at any given
moment. Surely you know that.”
“I am not sure if I have changed my mind about
anything. But, tell me this. What happens to me now? Is
this Judgment Day? Am I going to Hell?”
10 | SRINI CHANDRA
Ray’s discomfort was palpable.
“Judgment Day? Hell? I guess those are good
enough reasons to lose one’s faith. Don’t worry, my
friend. You’re not going anywhere. There is nowhere to
go, not just yet.” The Voice chuckled.
“Okay. That’s good to know. But, I am curious.
What happens now?”
“I can see that curiosity continues to linger long
after demise. You are free now, Ray. Free from the
immediate obligations of a mortal existence. You are
free to think. And, to ask the questions which have
always been on your mind, but never had the time to
ask. How do you feel about spending quality time with
me? We have eternity at our disposal.”
Ray smiled. He had not expected a benevolent
God. His worries began to recede. And confidence
emerged.
“A chance to talk to God himself! Who would turn
down an offer like that?”
“Truth be told, it is a lot easier to get people’s
attention after they are dead. I’ve noticed that most find
it difficult to listen when they are alive.”
“That is not true. What about my prayers? You
never answered them. I tried to get your attention every
day. I never heard back from you. Why?”
3 LIVES | 11
“Oh, I answered them, Ray. Maybe, you didn’t
notice. Maybe, you weren’t listening. Maybe, you didn’t
like the answers. But, trust me, I answered them.”
Ray was surprised. He would have surely noticed
if God had been speaking to him. Had he been too busy
to listen? He wondered if he had not listened hard
enough.
“Why did you not save me when I cried for help?
You let me die, alone, in a dark alley. What did I do to
deserve that? I never harmed anyone. Why was I
murdered? Did I deserve such a fate? Where were you
when I called for help?”
Ray’s anger rose.
“Let me ask you. Have you seen anyone live
forever? Is it not obvious that death is inevitable?”
“I see where you are going with this. I guess no
one lives forever. And, everyone has to die. I
understand that. I do not have a problem with that. But
you have not answered my question. Didn’t I deserve a
suitable end?”
“If death is inevitable, does it matter how it comes,
Ray? Why this predilection for a suitable end? It is
intriguing. I do not understand your question.”
The Voice was genuinely curious.
12 | SRINI CHANDRA
“Don’t you see the injustice in your creation? Why
do bad things happen to good people? Is this not
unfair?”
“What is good? And, what is bad? Do you really
believe that you know enough to tell the difference,
Ray?”
“You answer questions with questions. Where are
the answers?”
Ray’s frustration was evident.
“What would you like to know, Ray?” the Voice
asked softly.
“Why is the world unfair? Why are some more
fortunate than others? What did I do to deserve my
destiny? Why is happiness hard to find? What is the
purpose of it all?”
“Excellent questions, Ray. I expected nothing less.
I hope that I can help you find the answers. But, first,
tell me about your life. Were you happy?”
“My life?”
Ray halted.
At first, all he could remember was the struggle.
He did not remember being happy.
End of Excerpt
14 | SRINI CHANDRA
What readers and reviewers are saying
3 Lives, in search of bliss was first published as an e-
book in July 2011. Since then, it has been downloaded
by thousands of customers and is quietly winning the
hearts and minds of readers and critics alike around the
world. The book recently achieved the distinction of
reaching #2 on Amazon best seller’s list in the Self
Help-Motivational Kindle books category.
Here’s what some readers and reviewers had to
say (reproduced with permission).
“If you liked Siddartha, the Alchemist or The
Shack, this book will intrigue you. The author
beautifully weaves together Eastern and Western
thought. exploring the personal journey, the concept of
souls and soulmates, the afterlife and the pursuit of
happiness (bliss). This is a lovely and compelling
"search" - well worth your time.”
Pam Benjamin, CEO, Medsoft, Ohio, USA
“An absolute gem. In a very concise, yet
entertaining package the author manages to capture the
essence of the struggle for happiness as a soul journeys
through a series of very different life experiences. I
couldn't put the book down after the first few pages
and I intend to read it again. The synthesis of Eastern
and Western conceptions of God was the most
compelling that I have read or reviewed in recent
3 LIVES | 15
memory. I don't recall the last time that I've been given
so much insight in such a small number of pages. It is
clear that this is a work of deep thought and reflection.”
Darrin Buxman, Amazon TOP 1000 reviewer
“This book blew my socks off. I don't read a lot of
fiction. But, this is the best fictional book I've read since
"The Shack". I rarely give a book (or anything) five
stars. After seeing every review on Amazon so far for
this book has been five stars, I was looking for a reason
to take a star away. If all the review are five stars,
people might think something funny is going on. But,
this book deserves every one of those stars. Pick it up.”
Brian Smith, Amazon VINE VOICE
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