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True love is we stick together in "thick and thin". Especially when it's thin, when
it's troublesome. Then we should really bridge over the "troubled water". That's
what they say in English. But most of us fail the test, to ourselves, not to our
partners. He might leave you, he might stay with you, because you're nice or
not nice. But you fail yourself. You leave yourself. You leave the most noble
being that you really are. So we should check up on this to our family members
or whomever that is beloved and dear to us. Most of the time in critical
situations, we just turn our backs and that is no good.
Of course we have our anger, our frustrations, because our partners are not as
loving as usual, or whomever that is; but he or she is in a different situation. At
that time, she or he is in mental suffering. It's just as bad or even worse than
physical suffering. Physical suffering you can take a pill or you can have an
injection and it stops or at least temporarily stops, and you feel the effect right
away; or at least if people are in physical suffering, everyone sympathizes with
them.
But when they are in mental anguish, and we pound them more on that, and we
turn our backs and become cold and indifferent, that is even more cruel, even
worse. That person will be swimming alone in suffering. And especially they
trust us as the next of kin, the next person, the one that they think they can rely
on in times of need; and then at that time, we just turn around and are snobbish,
because they didn't treat us nice so we just want to revenge. That's not the time.
You can revenge later, when he's in better shape. Just slap him.
Actually, at that time, the person is not his usual self anymore. He was probably
under very great pressure that he lost his own control. It's not really lost his own
control, but for example, when you are in a hurry, your talk is different. Right?
"Hand me that coat! Quick! Quick! Quick!" Things like that. But normally, you
would say "Honey, please, can you give me that coat." Is that not so? (Audience:
Yes.) Or when you're in pain -- for example stomach pain, heartache or
whatever -- you scream loudly; and anyone who comes to talk to you, you don't
talk in the usual way anymore, because you're in pain.
Similarly, when you are in a mental or psychological pain, you talk also in a
very grouchy way, very cross. But that is understandable. So if we -- any
so-called loving partner or family member -- do not understand even this very
least, very basic concept, then we're finished. Then we are really in a bad
situation. It's not that the partner will do anything to us. Whether he does
anything to us later or not, that is no problem. The problem is us. The problem
is we degrade ourselves, that we make less of a being of ourselves than we
should be, than we are supposed to be, or that we really are. So do not make
less of a being of yourselves.
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