The Thing With Things: Emotional Attachment To Things

The Thing With ThingsWeek 2 – Emotional Attachments to

Things

Instructor:Jennifer Snyder, CPO

Neat as a Pin Organizing Experts

The Thing with Clutter

Clutter

Is

Like

Falling

Snowflakes

The Things They Sell Us

The Things They Sell Us• Things are easy to obtain – like

online• Things are about power – like a lawnmower• Things are about belonging – like a herd• Things are about identity – they define who we are• Things are about dreams – like a hobbyist• Things are about perfection – like a perfect image

MARKETERS APPEAL TO THESE HUMAN DESIRES

Things & Love

No mere thing will ever love you back.

Things & Happiness The people who get the most joy out of their belongings are not necessarily those with the most Things.

Things & Fear Fear of damage

Fear of loss

Fear of what it represents

Fear of the volume

Fear of lack

Things & Anger When you think you are angry at an object, you are actually angry with the person it represents.

Anger is a cover for shame, fear, or frustration.

Things & Sadness New or insufficiently resolved grief is one of the primary reasons people hang on to excess things.

Things & FatigueThe challenge is not to get caught up in horriblizing and self blaming and instead to keep doing what you can.

Types of Emotional Clutter

Guilt ClutterGifts

Heirlooms

Exercise Equipment

Impulse Buys

“Useful” Gadgets

Guilt ClutterOccurs items are purchased, received, or inherited and not liked or wanted

Occurs when you pay a lot of money for something yet don’t use it. You keep

it because it was such a large “investment”

Unhappiness Clutter can quickly turn into Guilt Clutter when you realize a few days later that you do not really need the item or was an unwise use of

financial resources.

Guilt Clutter SolutionsConscious Sharing

Re-Gifting

Learn how to say “No, Thank You”

Understand the true carrying cost of clutter

Re-Gifting GuidelinesUse only Brand New Things

Never re-gift handmade itemsDesignate a place for Giftables complete with Post-It notes and

Sharpee marker. Note who gave it to you and when

Only re-use PRISTINE gift bagsNEVER-EVER re-use tissue paper or

gift wrap

Just in Case ClutterCoupons

Wrong-Size Clothing

Unnecessary Electronics

Pet Supplies

Old Medications

Excess Office Supplies

Just in Case ClutterYou keep things JUST IN CASE!

Could be for any reason…Possible giftFuture craft

Future home improvementPossible national emergency

Just in Case Clutter SolutionsMany items are more economical to buy replacements

Live for today…not what might happen in the future

The energy of abundance means things are constantly coming in and out of

your life. Once you stop the outward flow, you

stop the flow of abundance.

Unhappiness Clutter Bilia from previous romantic relationships

Souvenirs from unpleasant trips

Items from disintegrated friendships.

Unhappiness ClutterHanging onto items from past unhappy

times

These items keep you locked in that same place of unrest and prevents

new relationships and events filling that space

Buying “stuff” to make you happy is a quick fix solution without long

term results.

Unhappiness Clutter SolutionsEmotional Closure

Removing from your space

Replace/Repurpose with loving meanings

Things hold energy and can bring negativity into our space simply by

being present.

Depression ClutterPiles of stuff all over

Purchases never removed from shopping bags

Lack of housekeeping around clutter

Random items scattered everywhere

Depression ClutterWhen depressed, we tend to keep more things because we simply do not want

to make a decision

People with depression tend to keep things on the floor

Stuff on the floor pulls your energy downward and encourages emotional

withdrawal.

Depression Clutter SolutionsWhen depressed, we tend to keep more

things because we simply do not want to make a decision.

People with depression tend to keep things on the floor.

Stuff on the floor pulls your energy downward and encourages emotional

withdrawal.

Addiction ClutterAccumulates large amounts of credit card debt.

Clutter consists of new items.

Loses time shopping

Retail Therapy

Addiction ClutterCompulsive buying just for the sake of shopping and bargains without any

thought or intentional purposes simply adds to the congestion and

confusion already filling your space and life.

Chemical addictions also take a ravaging toll on spaces and finances as mentioned in depression clutter.

Addiction Clutter SolutionsThe one-in-one-out theory or one-in-

two-out theory depending on the space currently allowed compared to

volume.

Intervention and/or Therapy

Shop with an accountability buddy and practice Conscious Sharing

Need to Impress ClutterClothing

Home Decorations

Jewelry

Hobby supplies

Need To Impress ClutterYou feel your self worth is

reflected by the appearance and value of your living space and

possessions

You may not even like such possessions but they are the best, most popular, or most expensive.

You feel that if people like your stuff then they will like you.

Need To Impress Clutter SolutionsIdentify what truly make you feel happy, valued, safe, and peaceful.

Remember: what others think of you is none of your business.

Everything in your space should bring YOU joy. Showcase those

items.

Hiding Behind ClutterPiles

Magazines

Clothes

Books

Papers

Trash

Deliberate

Hiding Behind ClutterPeople often overcrowd their homes with so much stuff that it is used

as a type of shield to hide themselves from the world.

This serves as a tactic to keep attention directed away from the Clutterer and more focused on the

clutter.

Hiding Behind Clutter SolutionsTherapy

Begin assigning homes to the things in the space. It is best to work

with a PO to do this.

Move all of the clutter to an out-of-the-way area where the door can be closed leaving only a clean space. The clutter is still present, only out of sight.

Denial ClutterYou tell yourself you like everything.

You justify the reason for the clutter.

Overlooking clutter of a family member.

Denial ClutterYou refuse to believe you actually

have clutter.

You continue to acquire things yet make no connection to the fact that

its clutter.

Denial Clutterers are often afraid of change and believe their worlds will fall apart if they remove

anything from their home.

Denial Clutter SolutionsSee your clutter for what it is…

clutter

Enlist the help of someone who is not emotionally connected to the

space

Take it one type of item at a time…green items, clothes, dishes, etc.

Things Defined

The Four TsTOYS High Emotion, High Function

TREASURES High Emotion, Low Function

TOOLS Low Emotion, High Function

TRASH Low Emotion, Low Function

Toys: High Emotion, High Function

Computer

Television

Smart Phone

Camera

Car

iPad

Purse

Swiss Chop Chop

Treasures: High Emotion, Low Function

Photographs

Figurines & Collectibles

Heirlooms

Unused gifts

Memorabilia

Items saving for a special occasion

Tools: Low Emotion, High Function

Microwave Oven

Curling Iron

Keys

Printer / Scanner

Vacuum Cleaner

Coffee Maker

Trash: Low Emotion, Low Function

Unwanted Gifts

Ill-fitting clothing

Spoon that fell in the disposal

Flat pillow

Scratchy blanket

Can We Organize Emotions?

Since we have relationships with our

things…FRIENDCurrently serves you well and

feels good.

ACQUAINTANCENew to your life and the

relationship has yet to be clearly established

Since we have relationships with our

things…FORMER FRIENDOnce loved and made you feel

great although that has changed

ENEMYDoesn’t feel good at all!

Causes pain, stress or general discomfort

You Have to Start Somewhere

Getting StartedIt is impossible to organize clutterYou are going to make a bigger mess

in the processDo not buy anything yet!

Pick a charity that matters to you

Remove trash

Charities I RecommendFamily Abuse Center – Donations go to Second Chance Thrift Store

Salvation Army – Donations go to store on Waco Drive

Advocacy Center for Crime Victims & Children

Pick a Place…Any PlaceRemove the trash

Sort into the most general categories possible

DonateGive to friend or family memberNeeds a new home (at your home)Not sure

This is not the time to sort papers.

Sort with a Vengeance!

If you want to keep something, ask

Yourself…1. Does this belong here?2. If not, where would I look for it

should I need?3. Does it make me happy?4. What type of “T” is it?5. Will I use it?6. Will I REALLY use it?

Does It Make You Happy?

Everything in your space should bring you joy on some level

Often “sentimental items” have an emotional connection that is

negative. Negative sentiment cannot bring us joy.

Organized is Subjective “Organized” looks different to each unique person.

Identify what “organized” means to you.

HomeworkDo Something…anything that brings you one step closer to being more

organized Take time for yourself to do

something you enjoy, guilt freeRemember, this is a growth process that may be uncomfortable at times but the rewards will far outweigh

the discomfort. I PROMISE!