Quick Dick News #5

It’s

Quick It’s

Quick Dick News#5

Meb Keflezighi is an Americanwho won this years Boston Marathon.

Ted Jones is a Tanzanian who worksin Jakatawooki and ran like hell today

to catch a bus for work.

A psychic in India has trained an octopusto read the fortunes of 8 people at a time.

It’s called Psychtopus and it only costs99 rupees per minute.

Psychtopus.com

A couple Playboy bunnies that Pope Francis metduring his grueling 40 day & night Lenten retreat

at the Playboy Mansion have become nuns.Sister Luscious Dewdrop and Sister Silky Dampcrotch

have already converted to Christianity . PF hopes to release a nun calendar for 2015.

George Lopez stars in a Mexican film versionof John Denver’s life called “Tijuana High.”

Lopez dyed his hair blonde, plays acoustic guitarand sings with Spanish speaking Muppets who

smoke pot behind the scenes. His character,Juan Denver, gets so stoned at the end of the film

that he dies inside his one-seat airplanethat never leaves the ground.

A tiny iPhone was implantedinto the hand

of an unborn fetuswhich tweeted:

Get me the f*** outta here!

After a Mini-Cooper crashed intoa Florida swamp, a giant crocodile

swallowed it whole then a text messagewas received by a teenage girl still inside the

car asking for directions to Tallahassee.

Dolly Parton Aerospace, Inc.has two humongous satellitesorbiting the earth. Each has apointy antenna on it and canbe seen with the naked eye.

News & Politics