Humorous quotations

HUMOROUS QUOTATIONS-30

Taken from

The generation gapIt is the one war in which

everyone changes sides.

I was born to a punctuation vigilant.

There are 2 tragedies in life.

One is not to get your heart’s desire. The other is to get it.

Life would be very

pleasant if it

were not for its

enjoyments.

The only exercise I take is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise.

The great advantage of a hotel is that it’s a refuge from home life.

Hatred of domestic work is a natural and admirable result of civilization.

I got disappointed in human nature as well and gave it up because I found it too much like my own.

Reality is

something

the human

race doesn’t

handle very

well.

• .

What the good of a home if you are never in it?

I feel very humble. But I think I have the strength of character to fight it.

Someone had to accept one; otherwise there would be shelves full of them left.

‘Do you know what a pessimist is?’

It’s an odd job, making decent people laugh.

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so soften. But if a man bites a dog, that is news.

I don’t want to know what the law is , I want to know who the judge is.

Never marry a man who hates his mother, because he’ll end up hating you.

No man is regular in his attendance

at the House of Commons

until he is married.

Don’t worry if you never marry. It will save from a lot of vexation.

Any man who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.

All women dress like their mothers, that is their tragedy.

No man ever does. That is his.

.