The Sanderson Apocalypse - Chapter 6

The Sanderson Apocalypse – Chapter 6

Welcome to the sixth installment of the Sanderson Apocalypse. So far, we’ve reached generation 5 and, storywise, we only have 16 or so restrictions left (it’s hard to count when my sheet is filled with the

current restrictions that have been lifted being ticked off). What we have left to life is Dance, Entertainment, Intelligence*, Oceanography,

Gamer*, Journalism*, Showbiz Pet, Service Pet*, Business*, Law Enforcement*, Life of Crime*, Science*, Artist*, Paranormal*, Show

Business* and Alien Technology*. The asterisk points out which restrictions are covered by a member of the family who has either already lifted said restriction or is going to do so in their lifetime.

Anyways, we just ended the last chapter at the point where Delilah Sanderson, the first child of generation 5, was born and her father and

heir Kurt had managed to lift Music and free the world from the apocalyptic ice age.

“You did a stellar job at spinning out that poop machine, Di.”

“Thanks Dawn. I guess, since it’s Sunday, Comb has sent you home to collect the money. We left a cheque in the mailbox for your family.”

“No need, bra; I have some totally epic news for everyone. Guys, listen up; Dawn’s gonna talk now!”

Everybody, my story begins like this: About two weeks ago, I managed to finally take up my secured position as con woman with the Comb mafia family. As you know, the famjam they run is lead by Joseph

“Joey” Comb Sr., father of my husband Joseph Comb II. His wife Sofia was sitting ever so elegantly on the three tile stage they had

constructed just to make themselves feel grander while Joey Sr.’s brother, Rock Comb, stood next to her in silence. Her brother, Tony

“Slim Tony” Slimsdale had taken a chair from the dining room and had his foot propped up on it.

We were all discussing our next plans of action to improve profit when Jr. piped up and asked, “Dad, why are we preventing people from

purchasing luxury items? With hope having been restored by Dawn’s great-grandmother, people are just dying to have everything they once

knew. We could be making billions off of those old dresses and that old furniture in storage.”

Sr. stared down at his son in anger, but his complexion brightened as he eyed me, “What do ya think about my boy’s idea, Dawny?”

“Well, uh, sir…”

The senior employees began to gather around us like vultures.

“‘Well, uh, sir…’. Now that’s a great response, innit Sofia? I always thought you could come up with better than that, Dawny. We need

action in order to make profit, not dimwitted responses to my questions.”

I broke down…

“Well, as I was going to say, Joey, we should be selling bootleg merchandise at extraordinarily high prices. It doesn’t even need to be

the real deal; we can make cheap knockoffs that will cost us no less than a couple bucks an item. Ten cents to make a fedora, 250

simoleans in return. We could be richer than we already are dude!”

Joey was taken aback by my statement, “Well, er… uh…”

I giggled, “Now that’s a great response, isn’t it Joey?”

Everyone in the room was in hysterics until Joey shouted, “ENOUGH!”

We all stopped.

“Dawn, as our resident con artist, you’ll be in charge of creating the knock offs and organizing sales to the poor schmucks. If this manages to work, you could be seeing a few hefty promotions comin’ your way.”

“It’s an honour, dude.”

“Same to you, uh…”

“Dudette.”

“Yes, that.”

When the plan went off without a hitch, Joey came through with his promise. I had been promoted up to the level of Cat Burglar (again, sorry guys about stealing the fridge last Friday) and every day my

performance scores were through the roof.

Joey Jr. and I were given a small wedding that only his family could attend. Joey Sr. said that inviting you guys would cause too much

attention for the world and great-grandma’s laws would begin to be ignored.

But not everything was going as chill as we thought. A few hours before I headed off on my assignment on the docks to smuggle our

merchandise from across the ocean, I heard the distinct crying of Joey Comb Sr. from upstairs in his office. It was strange; I never thought

that guy could muster up any tears. I stayed downstairs and listened to him before my ride came to pick me up.

Between the sobs, I could hear him saying to himself, “Damnit, Comb, that girl is just too good. She’s way better than you ever were. Hell,

she’s even tripled profits…”

A horn honked from outside our warehouse. I got up and walked to the door. As I turned the knob, I waited in case I could hear any more.

The car honked even louder. I rushed outside and into my seat. As we sped off into the night, I heard the distinctive blow of gun powder

exploding in the distance.

It was a clean shot. Joseph Comb Sr. was dead.

I arrived home at eight in the morning ready to tell the family that my mission was accomplished. By definition, I could now label myself as a

Criminal Mastermind.

But no one was outside to greet me. I took the long trek up into Sr.’s office.

Jr. sat limply beside the lifeless body of his father. He stared vacantly at the bloody stains on the hardwood floor trying to make sense of it

all.

Slim Tony was the first one to find the two Joeys upstairs.

“Is everything alright- OH MY GOD!”

“Joey, get your pa up onto the stage while I alert the others.”

Tony rushed everyone into the office. That is, except for Sofia who couldn’t rush due to her pregnancy.

But instead of placing one of the Senior members into Sr.’s seat, he placed me.

“So what do we do now, boss?” Tony asked me.

“Well, we can start by discussing a few changes around here.”

“Like what?”

“Well, first of all dudes and dudette, none of you are going to have jobs here anymore.”

Joey Jr. looked at me in shock, “Honey, but why?”

“Because I’m the only one who’s actually done anything criminal in my lifetime. I’m sorry, but I can’t have two hardened old men, a pregnant

lady who’s lost her seductive touch and an innocent boy whose too sensitive to cause any harm. It’s just better if I’m the only one living

the life of crime, now.”

“You little slut!” Sofia called out at me, “You decided to seduce my son, marry into my family and then take over once my husband had

died, didn’t you? That must have been your plan all along you Sanderson brat!”

“Bra, please calm down. It isn’t healthy for your kidlet.”

“How dare you speak to me in such a manner, I’ll-“

Sofia was cut of and, for once in his lifetime, Rock decided to speak.

“Sofia, maybe this is for the best. It’s not like we’re being kicked out of the house. And besides, we can all live in luxury now; there’s no need

to fight her changes.”

“I… I guess. I just miss Joey so much.”

“Me too.”

“Alright, meeting adjourned.”

Dawn waited for the entire family to leave her office.

Death came and took Joey’s body away and had replaced it with a tombstone.

“Was this supposed to happen, man? Was Joey supposed to die?”

“DAWN SANDERSON, EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IS MEANT TO BE. YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER BECOME A CRIMINAL MASTERMIND

WITHOUT JOSEPH COMB SR. PASSING AWAY. TODAY IS A DAY TO BE PROUD. ALERT YOUR FAMILY ABOUT THE NEWS. I MUST BE OFF.”

“You know Grimmy, I sometimes wish I worked in the Paranormal field so we could chill some time.”

“ME TOO.”

A couple months later, I gave birth to my son, Joseph “Joey” Comb III. I feel that it’s necessary to let his grandfather’s legacy live on, even though his grandfather pretty well got our family to do whatever he

wanted. It’s for the best.

Meanwhile, at Crescent College…

“You know Ray, you really are cute.”

“Ya think so, mate?”

“Yeah. I’m so glad that we’re dating.”

“Whoa, hold that shrimp on the barbie, Lawrence. We aren’t dating. Sex ain’t dating and it neva was.”

“But…”

“I’ll call ya sometime if I ever need a late night hook up.”

Ray Shibata began to leave the Sanderson College House, but Lawrence ran after him.

“Wait!” Lawrence shouted.

Lawrence planted his lips on Ray’s.

“I love you.”

“Mate, that’s nice and all, but-“

“But what?”

“I don’t love you, Lawrence. It just isn’t gonna work out.”

“Goodbye, Lawrence.”

“…”

“*sigh*”

Ray, what you did was complete bull. I know that you love him as much as he loves you.

“But Creator, it’s not gonna work out between him and I. Same-sex marriage isn’t legal in Beauville.”

Yes it is, dumbass. I installed that hack years ago.

“But, we’d be the first-“

Christine and Marie Maaza-Sanderson were the first in this neighbourhood. Just get together with him or I swear you’re going to

be eaten by a cowplant.

“Fair enough.”

“Ray, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Uh, listen my good bloke, contrary to what I said earlier, I’d love to be your boyfriend.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Can… can we adopt children?”

Same-sex pregnancy hack.

“Ray… will… will you give birth to my children?”

“Uh…”

Cowplant…“Sure, Lawrence my honey-snookie-snookums.”

“Yay!”

And they’re going to live happily ever after. Mind you, in my current rotation I still need to play them in the house that they share with

Fiona and her husband and the kids the two couples have popped. I’m gonna play once this is out and I’m done my vacation.

With that little plotline out of the way, it was time for graduation in the Sanderson College House.

In the back from left to right, we have Lawrence Sanderson (G4, Spare), Nicole Sanderson (G4, Christine Sanderson’s eldest) and Fiona

Sanderson (G4, Spare). In the front in the same order, we have the twins Leslie and Shea Sanderson (G3, Steven Sanderson’s youngest).

Because of that, we can now welcome our next 4 household members. From left to right, Penelope Sanderson (G4, Spare), Zachary Sanderson (G4, Spare), Ramone Carlson (G3, Clark’s Only), and Beau Sanderson

(G4, Spare).

So now we can see the lovely outfits that were picked by the spares!

Ha!

Ha!

Back at the main house…

“Should we prepare a few more restriction lifters, Di?”

“I believe we should, Kurt.”

Oh horny knowledge sims.

So anyways, on the first day of this new rotation, Diane was heading off to work for her final promotion in the Natural Science career…

… which she of course achieved. So meet the newest member of the family, Fluffy. Isn’t she just precious?

“Moo!”

Time flew by and it was time to celebrate Delilah’s transition to toddlerhood.

As an added note, I’ve already decided that she won’t be the heir. Because every heir for me so far has had the founder’s nose, I’m going to keep it that way. And yes, I know there will be a child that has the

founder’s nose… I’ve played it.

“Mama, did you eat the kitty ashes and get big?”

“No, Delilah.”

“Can I?”

“No, Delilah.”

As you can see, Diane is once against pregnant. This one’ll be a fun pregnancy.

“MOO!”

“Calm down, Fluffy. I’m delivering a letter to the townie homes about free cake. You’ll be fed soon enough.”

Diane, you’re evil.

“You’re the one that adds them to the family and feeds them to Fluffy.”

Touché.

“Why, hello there little guy- HEY, CREATOR! Can I feed dogs to Fluffy?”

NO!

“Alright, alright. I’m going to name you Tucker and you can help lift a restriction for this family.”

“Woof!”

“Get your sticky hands off me, bloated monkey.”

You’re gonna lift the Security Pet career :-3

“Must. Escape. Now!”

You’re a funny little guy, aren’t you?

“Eat doggy?”

“Are all these creatures stupid or something?”

Maybe.

“HUG DOGGY!”

“Can’t breathe…”

“No, Delilah, don’t choke the dog!”

“Teehee, why not grandpa?”

“Because then we have to wait another generation for another spouse to move in a pet.”

“Oh…I ated the kitty ashes.”

“…*sniff*… Moonshine was my best friend…”

“Damnit, Diane. You better not give birth to another devil child like this one here!”

“Joe, just because she has red hair-“

“She ate my cat’s ashes!”

“Moo!”

Fluffy, I know that it takes a while, but just wait for some food, okay?

“MOO!”

And here it is.

“Hey, free cake.”

*CHOMP* *GRIND* *CRUNCH* *SCREAMING*

That’s a good, Fluffy.

“Oh god, Joe! Fluffy, ate that townie.”

“So?”

“Oh yeah, good point.”

I think my sims are starting to get apathetic now that the apocalypse is almost over…

“Any signs of aliens yet, Kurt?”

“Nope, don’t think so.”

“Oh wait.”

Shouldn’t you be screaming? I mean, they’re about to probe your butt.

“Nah, I just go with the flow.”

“Goddamnit, Diane. First you give birth to that devil child and now you lost my son. Good job.”

“It was his idea.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, didn’t you know?”

“I honestly had no clue. Wow, I really look like an ass now, don’t I?”

“You sure do, Joe. You sure do.”

“ARGH!”

Oh come on, it shouldn’t be hurting you that much.

Meet baby #1 of this set (yup, multiples), Gregory Sanderson. I’ll put his personality up later but you should know that he’ll be lifting Gamer

for us.

And here is #2, Ryan Sanderson. Ryan here is the heir (you’ll see why in a bit). He’s going to be lifting Intelligence for us.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

*splat*

Oh, you’re back.

“I think my face is broken.”

“That sure was fun, wasn’t it, Rocky?”

“And now here’s something you’ll really enjoy.”

With Alien Tech. lifted, I can now have aspiration rewards that aren’t restricted by Oceanography.

“I’m sorry for eating Moonshine, grandpa.”

“Just grow up, twerp.”

“I’m bigger!”

Uh, your hair is cut off your shoulder.

“No it isn’t.”

Freaking meshes.

“Dude, why do I have to have a kid? How will I even get it out of my abdomen?”

The same way you’re wife did.

“…?”

By spinning, idiot.

Life continued on for the Sandersons…

“I love you most of all, Ryan.”

And birthdays needed to be celebrated.

Here’s Ryan Sanderson. As you can see, he has the family nose.

And here is the non-heir with terrible CC hair (seriously, why do I even have that), Gregory Sanderson.

“Why didn’t they give me an A+ on my first day?”

Because you didn’t try hard enough.

“I’m adowable!”

Aww… so glad you’ll be the final heir.

“Come on Greg, we can start our own apocalypse.”

“Your face is scary.”

“We have the same face.”

*lots of crying*

“Oh god with the pain!”

And meet the final member of the G5 Sanderson lifting crew: Levi Sanderson. Levi here will be lifting Paranormal. Yup, a green ghost

buster.

“Judging by your nose, you’re going to be the spare in case anything bad happens to Ryan.”

“Goo?”

“Be prepared.”

“I got an A+!”

Don’t care.

“Hey, Rocky- I mean Kat. Why are we posing?”

“I don’t know.”

Wait.. what? They were supposed to pass away. Freaking visual glitches. I was prepared to give a eulogy for you guys and everything.

“Really?”

I… sure?

Elsewhere, at the home of Fiona and Lawrence.

“I’m off to work.”

“Me too!”

Just to fill you guys in here, Fiona lives on one side of the house with her husband Professor Jess Jordan and her son Eric Jordan while

Lawrence lives on the other side with his husband Ray Shibata and their daughter Anne Shibata.

As you can see, the twins shot right up in their respective careers.

Eventually, they became the Captain Hero and Media Magnate of Beauville and the rest of the world.

That’s two more restrictions done :D

Oh, and here are Eric…

… and Anne.

Over at the first spare house…

“YOUR TIME HAS COME, CHRISTINE SANDERSON-MAAZA.”

“Stop shouting, Grim; I want my eardrums in tact when I’m dead.”

“OKAY!”

Back at the Sanderson College Household…

“You know Penny, even though you’ve said some hurtful things to me in the past, I want you to know that I still love you.”

“That… that’s so sweet, Zach.”

“But if you ever touch me again, I’m breaking your hands. Got it?”

“Yup.”

“Hey baby, you know that one day you’ll be able to speak publicly about woohooing a celebrity.”

“Really? Because I once sleep with Daniel Pleasant back in Pleasantview.”

“Well I’m Beau Sanderson, and you’re now in Beauville. Maybe you too will be famous for sleeping with the namesakes of each town.”

“Now get the hell out of my sight you tramp!”

“Whoa, anger issues much?”

“OUT!”

Seriously Beau, not cool.

“Why not?”

You don’t yell at people and call them names.

“Hey Creator, can I call this one a whore? I mean, she does work as one, right?”

“I’m an accountant.”

“Whatever, babe.”

Meanwhile- oh god damnit. Penelope, Ramone, you’re first cousins once removed.

“But we love each other.”

*checks panel*

ACR- Always Causing Regret

So, when these guys graduate, they aren’t getting a grad photo because of how messed up they are. Beau is a womanizing

misogynist, Zachary is socially awkward and easily hated and Penelope and Ramone are involved in an incestuous relationship.

Also, the next three Sandersons moved in. Meet Carter, Chloe and Cooper Sanderson, the triplets of Christine and Marie.

Tucker, I just want this apocalypse over right now.

“I know; these monkeys are so strange.”

Tell me about it.

I think I know where Delilah gets it now…

“Mmm… soylent green.”

“MOO!”

Fine, eat a random townie that comes by. I’m not feeding you anymore.

“Is this chapter over yet?”

Not until the twins are teenagers.

“Which twins?”

Your twin brothers.

Ryan is still going to be the heir no matter what. He’s just so precious.

“Thanks, Creator!”

Next up was Levi’s birthday and…

Katheleen, pick that baby up and make him a toddler… Katheleen? Why aren’t you in my control?

“HELLO KATHELEEN, IT’S NICE TO SEE YOU.”

Oh, not now. Not here.

“COME AND JOIN YOU’RE YOUR ANCESTORS IN THE LAND OF THE DEAD.”

“Are my mother and grandmother there?”

“UH, YES. YOU SEE, I NEED YOU HERE RIGHT TO HELP ME FIX A FEW THINGS. THAT GREEN CHILD WILL HAVE TO COME TOO ONE DAY

WHEN HE’S OLDER.”

“Are they fighting?”

“YES. IT’S A BIT MESSY, BUT I THINK YOU CAN SOLVE IT.”

“Grim, don’t leave me here with the stupid people, the cat eater, the psychic dog and the alien!

Damn…”

So, anyways, here’s Levi Sanderson. Definitely he’s the only one that can be the spare.

“This is stupid; I’m only alive to become a Game Designer. I want to be in a different challenge.”

Too bad, mullet hair. You got stuck here.

Joe, what are you doing?

“Awaiting Grim.”

Good timing.

“JOE CARR-SANDERSON, IT IS TIME!”

“Duh.”

Goodbye Joe. You were the most awesome spouse ever. Mostly because you were really close to lifting Athletic when you moved in. I

can’t believe you’re gone now…

Well, in this neighbourhood maybe. You will always be regenerated in other places.

“Can I die too now?”

No, I need you to keep me sane for the rest of the challenge, Tucker! By the way, thank you for lifting Pet Security. It’s really helpful.

“BOO!”

“Ahh! A townie seeking revenge!”

“This is for killing me with that cowplant.”

“That wasn’t me. You want my mom; she’s upstairs somewhere.”

“Thanks kid.”

“Hey, Ryan, did you know that mom’s been killing the townies.”

“Yeah. Why else would we have those graves in front of Fluffy?”

“Wait, you knew??”

“It was kind of obvious.”

“Red monkey, I’ll give you a shiny quarter if you jump off the roof.”

“Tucker, don’t bark at me. I’m not a bad guy.”

“Damn, and I swallowed that quarter for nothing. Either way, you’re getting a shiny new quarter.”

“I made boom boom.”

“There you go, Levi. I really did think we had you potty trained.”

“An… an A+… I made boom boom.”

“Attention ugly monkies: I MADE BOOM BOOM!!”

Don’t diss poop jokes, people.

“Ahh! My mother in law!”

“This is the third time tonight, Diane. You really need to keep your guard up.”

DOUBLE BIRTHDAY TIME!

So here we have Levi in his adorable form.

And here is Delilah, who rolled Pleasure and found a suitable outfit. I’m going to stop making fun of you now, okay?

“Screw you.”

Fluffy, where did the cake go?

“Moo moo…”

Oh, it was just a townie.

“That townie was my friend. She was next in line to become one with the wolves.”

Levi, aren’t you sad about the dead townie?

“No, it was her own fault for eating the cowplant cake.”

Oh yeah, good point.

Alright, these are the last few slides, I swear.

Here’s Ryan Sanderson. He rolled Fortune.

And Gregory, the roller of Knowledge.

Alright, that was painful, I know, but this apocalypse is almost over. I want to be done before school starts up so I have 4 weeks. I’m too

lazy to open SimPe so you’ll find out personalities next time. But here are the restrictions:

Unlocked: Hopelessness, Law, Medical, Culinary, Architecture, Politics, Slacker, Military, Education, Athletic, Pet Service, Adventure, Music, Life of Crime, Natural Science, Alien Technology, Law Enforcement,

Journalism, and Pet Security.

Will be Unlocked by the Next Chapter: Business, Show Business, and Science.

Someone has it filled: Artist, Gamer, Intelligence, and Paranormal.

Still Left Over: Dance, Entertainment, Pet Show Biz and Oceanography.

The G5 spouse is going to unlock Entertainment and will adopt the Show Biz pet while the G6 heir unlocks Dance and their spouse unlocks Oceanography. And then I’ll be done. That’s about 9 more week long

rotations. Wish me luck.

-Reggie