DocNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths, Part 5

DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths: An Asylum Challenge

Part 5: Sleepless in Strangetown

Asylum Challenge created by SimScout: one playable Sim, seven uncontrollable Sims, $100 in the bank to start, furnishings limited in quality and quantity--the challenge ends when the playable's LTW is met, or dies. Or the uncontrollables die.

The playable: SimNerd, my SimSelf, a Knowledge Sim with the LTW to Max 7 Skills. Joy.

The inmates, Legacy villains whose original Aspirations and original (bad) personalities have been left intact:Gaius Caesar (Netsfn1427 [Exchange]/Blite27's [boolprop.com] Ten Caesars), Vee Semper (GintasticNecat's Science of a Legacy), Cypress Vetinari (DrSupremeNerd's Vetinari Dualegacy), Uranium Apocalypso (ephemeraltoast/EphemeralToast's Apocalypso-A-Go-Go), Salahuddin Chamcha (katrih83's Bookacy), Kirstial Legacina (orikes360/Orikes's Pseudo Legacy), Cecil Goodytwoshoes (Loolooloo16play/professorbutters's Squeaky Clean Legacy)

When last we left DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths, Cypress was "enjoying" his second post-Aspiration Failure bout of volleyball-chatting.

He took the fourth fire of the Asylum pretty hard, and now there's nothing SimNerd can do to bring him out of it.

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll Center of a Tootsie Pop?

One...

Two...

Three...

Four...

Five...

Six...

And no, this is NOT just another picture of the last slide; he put Dr. Wilson away, cried, and pulled the volleyball right back out again.

While Cypress is having a complete break from reality...

SIMNERD MAXES CHARISMA!

WOOOO! One down, six to go!

Kirstial: "Gah... Do you think we look that ridiculous when we fight?"Uranium: "I guess we must, yeah."Kirstial: "I had no idea. With the hair-pulling and the slapping... Tres tacky, you know?"Uranium: "I suppose I never gave it much thought. I mean, I enjoy beating you humans up so much."Kirstial: "I'm not technically a human. See the ears? Elf."Uranium: "Elf? Really?"Kirstial: "Elf. All the way."Uranium: "You know, I don't think I've ever WooHooed an elf before."Kirstial: "Not interested."Uranium: "If you happen to change your mind..."Kirstial: "I won't."

Kirstial: "This is just... not attractive."Uranium: "Fun, though."Kirstial: "Sure, fun. Way fun. Do I make that face?"Uranium: "Yup."Kirstial: "Ugh."Uranium: "You wanna go play catch or something?"Kirstial: "Yeah, okay."

Cecil: "Hah! Ah, Ms. Legacina, Ms. Semper and I have finished, if you and Ms. Apocalypso would like to take the floor."Kirstial: "Nah. I think we're kinda done."

Kirstial: *WHACK*Uranium: "Ow!" *WHACK*Kirstial: "Ow!" *WHACK*Uranium: "Ow!" *WHACK*Kirstial: "Ow!"

Seven...

SimNerd: "Uranium! The least you could do is not let me catch you! I really don't want to double-minus you, because, quite frankly, you scare the crap out of me!"Uranium: "Hehehe. Whoops."SimNerd: "You know what? I don't care..."

SimNerd: "...because I JUST MAXED LOGIC!"

Two down, five to go.

Hooray, I'm tied with Gaius for total number of skills maxed! *headdesk*

SimNerd: "Orikes! Guess what!"Orikes: "You're gonna come over here and greet me, aren't you?"SimNerd: "Oh yeah."Orikes: "Will you be stopping them from being mean to me?"SimNerd: "Uh, I'll be skilling. Which is more or less all I've done for the past two weeks, aside from breaks for the potty and paying bills."

Eight...

Nine...

Cecil: "There is so much that is unpleasant about tickling another man in his underpants, but I seem to be unable to stop."Cypress: "What? You say I should consult my life coach?"Cecil: "I said no such thing, Mr. Vetinari."Cypress: "All right!"

Ten...

Gaius: "I'm Serving Grilled Cheese Sandwiches!"

Gah, and I'm making SimNerd eat one NOW STOP FREAKING WHINING ALREADY YOU MORON.

Salahuddin: "Don't mind me, I'm just skilling myself into Platinum."

Great. Another smug crazy person.

Eleven...

Uranium and Kirstial may be cool with each other now, but Vee still hates Cecil and Cypress. This is Cecil.

Cecil wins. She may have beat Cypress, but she's never beat Cecil.

And then she goes and picks a fight with Cypress. Maybe she's figuring all that time spent with Dr. Wilson has dulled his reflexes.

She might be right about that.

Twelve...

Gaius: "Hey, Kirstial! Wanna get married?"Kirstial: "To you? Don't make me laugh! GREASY SMUDGE."Gaius: "How 'bout you, Salahuddin? I hear that Marriage For All hack is installed!"Salahuddin: "I would rather set myself on fire."Kirstial: "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."

Thirteen...

Creativity is done!

Three down, four to go!

Fourteen...

Holy crap this is getting ridiculous. Can a wolf just wander by or something?

Huh.

Ask and ye shall receive, I guess.

I think this means we're done with the volleyball for a while.

Cecil: "Money!"Cypress: "Roll See Wolf. It's a lifesaver, I tell ya."Cecil: "Regrettably, Mr. Vetinari, I am not a Knowledge Sim, and therefore the odds of rolling that particular Want are astronomically low."Cypress: "Whoa. Sucks to be you."

Gaius is a gigantic sack of PHAIL.

That is all.

Uranium: "WooHoo? I'm not picky; I'll settle for the cheese freak."

OK, with those big eyes, she looks so pathetic when she does this. It's like a kitten that rolls over onto its back and looks at you with those big kitten eyes, and maybe meows a little...

And then mauls your hand when you go to rub its tummy.

DO NOT RUB ITS TUMMY.

Yeah, like Cypress needed HELP getting that ego even bigger.

Do I wish I hadn't set her gender preference? Yes. Yes I do.

Oh, if SimNerd weren't skilling right now, I SO know who would be the latest fodder for the crazies.

Cypress maxes Creativity. Hahaha, SimNerd has more maxed skills than any of the inmates now, neener neener neener!

Cypress heads to the kitchen for a bite to eat, but Vee stops him first. Thanks, guys, SimNerd just finished caffeinating and now she has to pee, but that's gonna get queuestomped for Watch Fight three times before she makes it to the bathroom.

Vee wins.

However, Cypress was not going to take that lying down.

And he immediately picks another fight with Vee.

Which he wins. At this point, it's 9-3 in Cypress's favor.

Meanwhile, SimNerd maxes Body!

Four down, just the book skills left, and she's already got a fair amount of Mechanical and Cooking, and she's on Level 10 of Cleaning as well.

The big question is: Can she hit those last Level 10s before it's time for the birthdays? Less than two days before it's time to crustify. I'll turn aging off first, but I'd rather get away clean.

Kirstial: "So, Gaius?"Salahuddin: "Emperor Idioticus? What about him?"Kirstial: "Gosh, I don't know if I should tell you since Cecil's here!"Cecil: "No, please do continue, Ms. Legacina."

Kirstial: "He peed himself this one time! And there wasn't even anyone on the toilet!"Salahuddin: "...That doesn't surprise me one bit."Cecil: "It was a most regrettable incident."

Kirstial: "And he's totally hand-tilty!"Salahuddin: "I know, right?"Cecil: "Though your precise meaning is unclear to me, I believe the general idea is not incorrect."

Gaius: "I smell bad and I'm hungry!"

So what does he do?

Y'all, I could not make this up if I tried.

If he dies, I'm not even going to TRY to Plead for his life.

Cypress: "Bloo skavani! That's a full-looking skill meter you've got there!"

Yes. Yes it was. Cleaning's maxed, just two left!

OK, CYPRESS can make himself a grilled cheese sandwich; what's Gaius's problem?

Oh, right--HE'S GAIUS.

Cypress: "Yeah, handcuffs are good. But spatulas and sexy lamps are also entertaining."Cecil: "I am unsure where this conversation is headed, but I am almost certain it will make me uncomfortable."Cypress: "Yup."

These two Hang Out a lot. I wouldn't have thought that cold, bloodless, non-monologing Cecil would bond so well with Eeevil, angry, loves-to-threaten Cypress.

BOOM. Mechanical's done.

Right after this, someone clogs the toilet. Not gonna fix it now, since there's no benefit to it. Who clogs it?

Three guesses.

Yup--Gaius.

SimNerd: "Kirstial! Red Hands! Fun and Social boost for that last skill point!"Kirstial: "One left and then what?"SimNerd: "Then I'm getting the hell out of here!"Kirstial: "What about us?"SimNerd: "Don't care! I have just over 20 hours to max Cooking before we all go gray, so let's make this quick, mmmkay?"

This is SimNerd's third Best Friend in the house--Cypress and Cecil are the other two. She has five total--Sally and Larch are the only household friends.

BOOYAH!

SimNerd maxes Cooking with 8 hours left to go!

I just had a Sim Max 7 Skills without the use of Thinking Caps, Energizers, or the Education Bookshelf--only the Fall skilling boost.

I am never EVER doing that again EVER.

Cypress: "Hey! How come YOU get to be Permaplat?"SimNerd: "Shut your piehole, Cy, Mama's got a Batbox coming! And 177,000 worth of Elixer of Life!"

SimNerd: "I maxed 'em!"You did.SimNerd: "Now pump me full of Elixer already!"

Gaius: "Who left this perfectly good platter of grilled cheese sandwiches out on the lawn?"

Mehehehehe...

ZOTZ

Hehehehehehehehehe!!!

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

*snerk*

*giggle*

*MOAR giggle*

SimNerd: "I wanna do it again!"Me too.

*maxmotives*

ZOTZ

Teehee!

*maxmotives*

ZOTZ

You know what? STILL FUNNY.

Cypress: "So, you're a Permaplat female Knowledge Sim and I'm a sexy Eeevil male Knowledge Sim... What say you take me with you?"SimNerd: "Not just no, but HELL NO. I'm outta here, and you're staying right where you are!"

Well, we start out with 100 points, and subtract one for each day in the Asylum, which is 29, so that's 71, plus 20 for never using Influence, plus a whopping two for household friends gives me 93...

...but I get one point for each skill point the inmates have:Gaius has 33, with maxed Body and LogicKirstial has 24, with maxed CreativitySalahuddin has 30, with maxed LogicUranium has 35, with maxed LogicVee has 26, with maxed CreativityCecil has 30Cypress has 35, with maxed Logic and Creativity

...which brings the subtotal up to 306...

...and I get one point for each 1000 Aspiration points the inmates have:Gaius has 18,500Kirstial has 41,000Salahuddin has 34,650Uranium has 19,500Vee has 10,650Cecil has 4,000 (that is not a typo)Cypress has 40,000

That gives me another 168 points, for a grand total of 474.

And, of course, there are things that I don't gain or lose points for:

Three Aspiration Failures--one for Salahuddin, two for Cypress.Seventeen total chats with the volleyball for Cypress over the course of his Aspiration Failures.Amazingly enough, there were NO other instances of Aspiration Failure or Aspiration Desperation, even on the parts of the Fortune Sims, after having been in the Asylum for 29 days. There was plenty of Worrying, but no can-begging, cardboard-sandwich nibbling, or dancing with Moppy McPlateface.

The fights (33 in all):Uranium and Kirstial fought 16 times--Uranium 13, Kirstial 3Vee and Larch fought once--Larch wonVee and Cecil fought 4 times--Cecil won all 4Vee and Cypress fought 12 times--Cypress 9, Vee 3

I gave the Asylum a bit of a makeover and made it liveable for the crazies. Why? I'm feeling generous.

I also got the individualroofslopeangle cheat to work properly. Yay!

Cecil: "I feel much more like myself now than I have in the last month. The addition of a fish tank is most welcome."

Turns out that Cecil's LTW is to have 6 pets reach the top of their careers, which is what his original LTW was in Squeaky Clean as well. Once I bought a bunch of useless, expensive crap, he and Vee went platinum and I pumped them full of Elixer.

Vee: "Um... Cypress? I... Uh... Salahuddin, you wanna take this one?"Salahuddin: "For crying out loud, man, we have proper clothes now! Look at me! I'm a sexy pirate! And Vee's a witchy goth princess! And Uranium's... an evil Romance alien! What's your problem?"

Vee's LTW is to be a Hall of Famer.Salahuddin's LTW is to be a Criminal Mastermind. I could have put him in the suit that goes with the top hat, but I decided to go with the latter-day Salahuddin instead. Minus the vampire-ness.

Cypess: "What can I say? I hung around in my underpants LONG before I got here! Gosh, I can't remember ever going to class in real clothes when I was in college! Nope, it was pajamas and underwear all the time!"

Cypress's LTW is to be Education Minister, which was his second LTW in the Vetinari Dualegacy before the rebuild, and his brother Larch's original LTW.

Uranium: "I like them. The skulls are amusing, plus they're easy to rip off with my teeth."Vee: "Eeeewww."

Uranium's LTW is to be a Professional Party Guest. If you've downloaded her and the skirt didn't come through properly, go to modthesims2 and do a search on "military coup." You can snag the mesh and the texture and get the "official" Uranium Apocalypso outfit.

Cypress: "...And I'm changing..."

Gaius: "Hey, what's this thing?"

Gaius's LTW is... have 6 pets reach the top of their careers.

*headdesk*

He can't even do a LTW right. Used the Batbox to re-roll his LTW, and now he wants to Eat 200 Grilled Cheese Sandwiches like he should.

Cecil: "Now that the household has expensive items and I have my fish, I find myself quite content."Kirstial: "I'm just glad I got my magic back now! But I don't hate Uranium anymore, and now I don't really have anyone to use it against."

Kirstial's LTW is to reach the top of Gamer.

Cypress: "Ey wadabadee, everybody! Who wants to do some Eeevil?"Uranium: "As long as I get some WooHoo out of it, I'm game."Vee: "Yeah, me too."Salahuddin: "I'm in the mood to kick some ass."Kirstial: "Aren't we pretty much all in the mood for creating chaos all the time?"Cecil: "I find that well-thought-out plans trump hasty action."

Gaius: "You know, it's unfair. I've killed more people than all of them combined, and I get excluded from their little Eeevil conclave."That's because you're a complete idiot.

But enough with the crazies! SimNerd's outta here, and she's Permaplat, and you know what that means!

Crazy SimSelf Celebrate SimNerd's Permaplat/Asylum Survival Party!

On the left is MichelleFobbs (boolprop)/MichaelFobbs (Exchange), writer of the Planetary Apocalypse.In the middle is Stacilee/stacierearden, writer of Whedonberry.On the right is Dicreasy, writer of the Victorian Legacy.

The ones who seem to be most in sync are Larch and Professorbutters (who gave the world Cecil).

Yes, I know Larch is not a SimSelf, but I miss playing him, so he gets an automatic invite to all of this stuff, because he is Larch and Larch is awesome. If you want to know why Larch is possibly my favorite Sim ever, check out my Vetinari Dualegacy, available on DrSupremeNerd's SimPage or the boolprop.com forums.

Pen: "You DIDN'T."I didn't. You helped yourself to a plate of something green and buzzy during one of your trips to the Asylum.Pen: "I don't believe you."Hey, you and Salahuddin weren't THAT close!

Penguingirl writes the Penguino Legacy. I promise you're not pregnant, Pen!

SimNerd may be a shameless heart-farter, but she makes great faces!

C'mon, tell me that's not a great face.SimNerd: "I'm Permaplat! WOOOOO! And nobody died!"

SimNerd: "Wheee! Party!"Stacielee: "You're not going to throw any of us into that Asylum, are you?"SimNerd: "Oh, I think we're done with Asylums for a while! With my luck, I'd end up rolling Max 7 Skills again!"

Pen: "Yay! Blite's finally playing with me instead of making grouchyface!"Blite: "Well, you keep trying to touch me..."Orikes: "Pen's seriously not pregnant, right?"Food poisoning! Blite ate the green omelet and dodged the bullet--Pen didn't!

Blite created Gaius; Orikes created Kirstial.

SimNerd: "I don't have to live with the crazy evil people anymore! Wheee!"

SimNerd: "Dirty Joke! World!" *buttwiggle*Stacielee: "You just like shaking your ass, don't you?"SimNerd: "Hey, I spent a month with a bunch of villains, I get to cut loose now!"

*GASP* GIN! That looks like a flirt! You are flirting with Larch!

Keep in mind that I do not have ACR.

Gin: "Well, Spider Jerusalem's not in Strangetown."

GintasticNecat writes the Science of a Legacy and created Vee.

Toast: "Blah blah blah, insert crack about Toast being a lush here."Nope--had one drink, then headed for the poker table.Blite: "Where are the hot spares? It's not a party without hot spares!"

EphemeralToast is the Simmer responsible for Uranium.

Gin: "Backrub?"Larch: "Mrrrooowww, Family/Knowledge Insta-bolts!"

Gin! Keep those hands above the waist!

That is a truly disturbing smile he has going there.

Larch: "Woo schmatta, booze!"Toast: "And they say I'M obsessed."

Marina: "Hey, why'd everybody stop Smustling?"

Smoothiequeen writes the Villainous Apocalypse and completed the Fitzhugh Legacy.

Larch: "Bloo bagoo! Family Sim and Knowledge Sim--who wants a piece of this?"Prof: "I'm still a little miffed that you made Uranium heart-fart me."Di: "And if I wouldn't hook up with you in Spider Jerusalem's Bachelor Challenge, what makes you think I'd do it here?"

Toast: "So I guess that five and the two in my hand didn't help, huh?"Blite: "My six and ten didn't fly either."Orikes: "Who dealt this crap?"Pen: "Thanks, Toast! Now I can afford to, oh, I don't know, BUY A CRIB FOR MY HELLSPAWN."

You're not pregnant! I swear! It's food poisoning! That's what you get for eating when Gaius has been in the kitchen!

SimNerd: "Ah yes. Another crazy SimSelf bash complete! And I'm Permaplat! With a Legacy-certified Impossible Want that I achieved with no Rewards! Plus--three Aspiration Failures in an Asylum that lasted an entire Adult lifespan, containing two Fortune Sims, a Romance Sim, and an idiot Grilled Cheese Sim--and none of those four ever lost it? That's gotta be some sort of record or something! This drink is well-deserved, if I do say so myself! Slainte, everybody!"

Yup, that's it for DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths! Hope you enjoyed it! The SimSelves featured have written some of my favorite Legacies; check them out, or head over to boolprop.com for all the Legacies and Sim stories you'll ever need!

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Gaius: "Whoa..."