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The humor section of the Pioneer.
Citation preview
Apr
192012
pAGE
8
Taco truck next to Reid. Burritos half price!
Picasso exhibit in Sheehan Gallery
Life Skills class: How to properly grow weed. Meet in the greenhouse.
Free joints will be thrown onto Ankeny. First come, first served.
Screening of “Dazed & Confused” in Kimball Auditorium
BACKPAGE
HIGHLIGHTS OF
MEGHAN McCAIN
Blonde hair, black outfit, fierce heels
Fiscal conservative and social liberal, a rare species, whaaa?
At the end of most of her responses she asks, “Does that answer your
question?”
Tilted a little awkwardly, facing 45 degrees backstage
Stumbles over names of TV hosts
Awkward laugh
How did the campaign change her? Gained weight
Media too obsessed with weight, shut down their obsession
Says there was a “dark point”in Republican Party, referring to
accusations of dad’s black illegitimate child
Reminds us that GOP has no candidate right now
Lots of hair flipping
Stupid Ronald Reagan and setting the drinking age at 21
Her next book is “America, You Sexy Bitch”
Pro-women
FRIDAY 4/20WEB prESENTS
12 p.m.-3 p.m.
1 p.m.
4:20 p.m.
7 p.m.
11:30a.m.- 12 p.m.
Cartoon by Erica Zinser
In Drake’s new mu-sic video for HYFR, he gets “re-bar mitzvah’d
as a re-commitment to the Jewish religion.” Now that he is of legal age and load-ed, he can have a real rager as opposed to the relative-ly mild bar mitzvah he en-joyed as a 13-year-old. He has set the bar for these re-bar mitzvahs to include na-ked women dancing, Lil
Wayne in a panda hat and the combo of stunna shades with a yarmulke. This idea of re-commitment has in-spired other famous Amer-ican Jews to follow suit. Andy Samberg is expect-ed to get re-bar mitzvah’d this June. There are specu-lations of a $2 million bud-get and special appearances by T-Pain, Akon and oth-er famous celebrities. We
can only hope Samberg’s re-bar mitzvah is recorded as well and turned into an SNL Digital Short. Some of the Jewish communi-ty was offended by the in-appropriateness of parts of Drake’s re-bar mitzvah, but so far, the only state-ment Drake has released on the issue was, “hell yeah, hell yeah, fuckin’ right.”
Re-Bar Mitzvah’dDo you love this shit?
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Ok, what does Rock the Casbah mean exactly?
I can’t belive my grand mothers mak-ing me take Out the garbage I’m rich fuck this I’m going home I don’t need this shit
He Sed “Thass A Big Ass Doobie Cuh” Lol
Kanye West @kanyewest 18 Apr
50 Cent 50@cent 18 Apr
Wiz Khalifa @RealWizKhalifa 18 Apr
Tweets
tweets of the weekDOWN1 Bridge is falling down2 Lead in Sherlock, 20103 Holmes’ romantic interest. Two words.4 1968 film starring Frank Sinatra5 Anthropomorphic aardvark
ACROSS2 C17H21N047 Bitchinest Sax Solo Ever; Rafferty. Two words.8 In which Mario may warp
I’VE GOT ARAGING CLUE[ ]
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