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What to dowhen someone dies at home
Douglas Macmillan HospiceBarlaston Road
BlurtonStoke-on-Trent
ST3 3NZ
tel: 01782 344 300fax: 01782 344 331DMHospice.org.uk
Registered Charity Number: 1071613 Company Number: 3615904
DMHospice.org.ukBarlaston Rd, Blurton, Staffordshire, ST3 3NZ
(01782) call: 344 300 fax: 344 301
Table of Contents
1 Introduction
2 Whattodofirst
3 Registeringadeath
4 Whocanregisteradeath?
5 Questionsthattheregistrarwillask Formsandcertificates
6 Thedeathcertificate Arrangingthefuneral
7 Helpwiththecostofthefuneral Grieving
8 Thingswesuggestyoushouldandshouldnotdo
9 Thingswesuggestyoushouldandshouldnotdo Childrenandyoungpeople
10 Bereavementsupport
11 BookletsavailablefromtheDouglasMacmillanHospice
12 Howtofindus
01
Introduction
Whenadeathoccursathome,itcanbeaveryintimateanddistressingexperience.AlthoughourHospiceatHomeTeamandCommunityNurseshavemadeeveryefforttoprepareyouandyourimmediatefamily,thelossofalovedonecanbeverydifficulttoaccept.
IfaNursingAssistantfromourHospiceatHometeamispresentwhenyourlovedonedies,theywillguideyouthroughtheprocess,offeringyousupportandhelp.
Overthenextfewweeks,ifyouareuncertainaboutwhattodo,oneoftheSocialWorkersattheDouglasMacmillanHospicewillbehappytoadviseyou.
Themostimportantthingisthatyoudonotfeelrushedorunderanypressure.
Thepurposeofthisbookletistosetoutclearlythosethingsthatneedtobedoneatthistime.
02
What to do first
Whensomeonediesathome,thereareanumberofthingsthatyouneedtodo.Wehavelistedthesebelow,inorderofimportance.
01) Contact your GP
ContacttheGPofthepersonwhohasdied.Outsideofnormalsurgeryhourscontact111.TheGPorappropriatelyqualifiedhealthcareprofessionalwillcometoyourhomeandconfirmthatyourlovedonehasdied.TheDoctorwilltellyouwhenyoushouldgototheSurgeryandcollectthemedicalcertificate,whichwillstatethecauseofdeath.Occasionally,wheretheDoctorisuncertainaboutthecauseofdeath,he/shewillreferthecasetotheCoroner.Ifthishappens,theDoctorwilltellyouwhattodo.
02) Contact your District Nurse and the Douglas Macmillan Hospice
YoushouldtelephonetheDistrictNurseandtheDouglasMacmillanHospice.Theywillcancelanyscheduledvisitsfromtheirnursesandcarers.Inaddition,theywillcanceltheMarieCurieService,ifapplicable.Youshouldcancelanyscheduledvisitsfromanyagenciesthathavebeenassistingwithpersonalcareandcleaningduties.
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03) Contact the Funeral Director
OnceyourDoctorhasconfirmedthatyourlovedonehasdied,youcancontacttheFuneralDirector.
Donotfeelrushed.CalltheFuneralDirectorwhenyouareready.
TheFuneralDirectorwillgiveyouanestimatedtimeofarrival,whichwillusuallybelessthanonehour.
Registering a Death
YouhavetoregisterthedeathatyourlocalRegistrar’sOffice;thishastobedonewithinfivedays.
Tofindoutwhereyouneedtoregisterthedeathofyourlovedone,youneedtotelephone03001118001.Youwillbetoldwheretogoandbegivenanallocatedappointmenttimetoregisterthedeath.
IfthecasehasbeenreferredtotheCoroner,youwillnotbeabletoregisterthedeathuntiltheCoronerhasgiventheirpermissionforyoutodoso.Yourdoctorwillexplainwhattodoifthishashappened.
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Who can register a death?
Thispersonhastobeeither:
• Someonewhowaspresentatthedeath
• Arelativeofthepersonwhohasdied
• Thepersonarrangingthefuneral
Whatshouldyoutake?
• Youshouldtakewithyouthefollowing:
• Themedicalcardofthepersonwhohasdied(ifpossible)
• Themedicalcertificatestatingthecauseofdeath-thedoctorwillhavegiventhistoyou
• Statepensionandbenefitinformation
• NationalInsuranceNumber
Moreinformationcanbefoundat: https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once
05
Questions that the Registrar will ask you
TheRegistrarwillaskyouanumberofquestionsaboutthepersonwhohasdied.Thesequestionsareasfollows:
• Thedateandplaceofdeath
• Theperson’susualaddress
• Theperson’sname(andmaidenname,ifapplicable)
• Theirdateandplaceofbirth(town,cityandcountry)
• Theiroccupation
• WhetherthepersonwasreceivingapensionfromtheSocialSecurityDepartment
• Ifhe/shewasmarried,thedateofbirthofthesurvivingpartner
Forms and certificates that the Registrar will give to you
TheRegistrarwillgivetoyou:
• Acertificateforburialorcremation(greenform).ThisshouldbegiventoyourFuneralDirector
• Acertificateforregistrationofthedeath(BD8).Thisformshouldbecompletedifthepersonwhohasdiedwasreceivinganyformofbenefitsorapension.Ifthisisthecase,completetheformandsendittoyourlocalSocialSecurityOfficealongwithanypensionorbenefitbooks
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• Leafletsaboutbenefitsthatcouldapplytoyou
• AbookletwrittenbytheWorksandPensionsDepartmentcalled“Whattodoafteradeath”
The Death Certificate
TheDeathCertificateisacopyoftheentrymadeintheDeathRegister.Asmallfeeischargedforeachcopymade.YouwillneedanofficialcopyoftheDeathCertificateforeachofthefollowing:
• TheExecutoroftheWill
• Pensionclaims
• Insuranceclaims
• Bankaccounts
YoumaywishtoasktheRegistrarforseveralcopies.
Arranging the Funeral
Althoughyoumaybefeelingdistressed,itisimportanttorememberthattheFuneralisanimportantoccasionforyouandforeveryoneelsewhohasbeenclosetothepersonwhohasdied.
Takeyourtime.Consideranyinstructionsorwishesthatthepersonleft,andyourownfeelingsandwishes.Itisimportantthatchildrenwhowereclosetothepersonwhohasdiedhavethechoiceofbeinginvolved.
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Help with the cost of the funeral
Funeralcostscanbeveryexpensive.IfyouareunabletocoverthecostoftheFuneral,youmaybeeligibleforhelp.AdvicemaybeavailablefromyourFuneralDirectororyourlocalCitizensAdviceBureau.
Ifyouareuncertainaboutwhetherornottomakeaclaim,oneoftheSocialWorkersattheDouglasMacmillanHospicewillbehappytoadviseyou.
Grieving
Griefisaverypainfulexperiencebutonewhichrarelylastsforever.Talkingaboutfeelingsmaybedifficultbutitreallydoeshelp.
How it feels
Evenwhenadeathisexpected,itcanproducefeelingsofdeepshockandevenafeelingofphysicalpain.
Griefisnormalandpainfulandoftenlastslongerthanpeopleexpect.Whileeachperson’sgrievingisindividual,therearecertainelementsthatarerecognisableandcommontoall.Youmayexperiencesomeorallofthesethings:
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• Inabilitytoconcentrate• Panic and fear• Restlessness• Guilt• Sleepingdifficulties
• Anger• Lossofappetite• Regret• Exhaustion• Feelinghopeless
Theseareallcommonsymptomsoflosswhichmaypersistforseveralmonthsandoccasionally,longer.
Youmayexperiencedifficultyintalkingtofamilyandfriendswhodonotseemtounderstand.Misunderstandingsmayarisebecausenoteveryoneinafamilywillgrieveinthesamewayoratthesamepace.
What you should and should not do
Wehavesummarisedbelowalistofthingsthatwethinkareimportantandwhichmayhelpyouandyourfamily.
Things we suggest you should do
• Allowyourselftotalkovertheeventsoftheillnessanddeathwithsomeoneyoutrust
• Shareyourfeelingswithsomeoneyoutrust
• Takecareofyourself
• ContacttheHospiceorotherSupportGroupsifyoufeelthattalkingtosomeoneoutsideofthefamilywillhelp
• Continuetotalkaboutthepersonwhohasdied
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• Don’thideyourfeelings;theyarepartofadjustingtoloss• Don’tletyourselfbehurriedintohavingtheFuneralsooner
thanyouwantto,unlessyourculturerequiresthis• Don’tmakemajorchangesinyourlifeunlesstheyarereally
necessary• Don’tforceyourselfto“getover”yourgriefquickly• Don’tturntoomuchtomedication,smokingoralcoholto
stopyoufeelingthepainofgrief
Children and young people
Asadults,itisanormalreactiontotrytoprotectchildrenorkeepthemawayfromsadsituations.However,childrenalsoneedtogrieveandtotalkabouthowtheyarefeeling,especiallyifthepersonwhohasdiedisacloserelative.
Manyyoungchildrenhaveagreaterunderstandingthanmostadultswouldimagine.Wesuggestthatyoucontinuetotalkaboutthepersonwhohasdiedandansweranyquestionwithhonesty.Youmayneedtoreassurethemabouttheirownsecurityandletthemknowthattheyarenotresponsibleforwhathashappened.
Youshouldgivechildrenthechancetosaygoodbye;reassurethemthattheirgriefwillnotlastforever.
Ifyouareunsureabouthowtohandlethesituation,youmaywishtocontactDoveCentre,alocalservicethatdealsspecificallywithchildren.Theircontactnumberis01782683155.
Things we suggest you should not do
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Bereavement support
Throughthelonganddifficultprocessofadjustingtolifewithoutalovedone,itcanbehelpfultotalktosomeonewhohasanunderstandingoftheprocessofgrief.
Sixweeksafteryourlovedonehasdied,theHospicewillwritetoyou,invitingyoutoattendagroupmeeting.Ifyoudecidetoacceptthisinvitationyouwillbeabletomeetwithotherpeoplewhoareexperiencingasimilarlosstoyours.Inadditionyouwillbeofferedtheopportunitytoaccessone-to-onesupport.ThesemeetingsareattendedbyourSocialWorkersandtrainedvolunteers.
SpeaktoyourPCNSifyou,oranyofyourfamily,wouldlikeavisitfromoneofourstafforanopportunitytotalktosomeonesoonerthanthis.
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Booklets available from the Douglas Macmillan Hospice
• SocialWork
• SpiritualCare
• BereavementSupport
Pleaseaskamemberofstaffforoneofourotherbookletsshouldyourequiremoredetailedinformationonanyotherservicethatweprovide.
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How to find us
Tren
tham
Roa
d
A5
035
Barlaston Road
Church Road
What to dowhen someone dies at home
#morethanahospice
Douglas Macmillan HospiceBarlaston Road
BlurtonStoke-on-Trent
ST3 3NZ
tel: 01782 344 300fax: 01782 344 331DMHospice.org.uk
Registered Charity Number: 1071613 Company Number: 3615904
DMHospice.org.ukBarlaston Rd, Blurton, Staffordshire, ST3 3NZ
(01782) call: 344 300 fax: 344 301
Further Information
Ifyouwouldlikefurtherinformationonanyhealthcareservices,thefollowingmaybeofhelp.
DMH 24/7 Advice Line 01782 344300
For general enquiries relating to health services
• ContactyourGPorDistrictNurse-03001230989• OutofHoursUrgentCare(non-emergency)-111
If you are receiving hospital treatment
• Contactyourhospitaldoctororclinicalnursespecialist• RoyalStokeUniversityHospital-01782715444
For general enquiries regarding cancer services
• TelephoneMacmillanCancerSupporton08088080000• TheRoyalStokeUniversityHospitalMacmillanCancer
SupportandInformationCentreon01782676333• MarieCurieSupportLine-08000902309
You may also find the following websites useful:
www.carersuk.org www.cruse.org.uk www.mariecurie.org.uk www.macmillan.org.uk www.carersfirst.com
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