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This is Volume 12, Issue 3 of the Ramdiculous Page, a humor paper at Angelo State University.
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Vol. 12, Issue 3 April 20, 1997 (Step back in time!)
Angelo State’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006 On the World Wide Web at http://www.ramdiculous.com
I sure do love Beanie Babies, Power Rangers,
and 56k modems!
2
Vol. 12, Issue 3 Something to read in class today
R A M D I C U L O U S P A G E P O L I C Y Published every other Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper. We welcome all letters, tweets, and other such nonsense. Please include your name, position, and an email address. All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned, EVER. Submit your letters, articles, and/or favorite Spice Girl via our email, page@ramdiculous.com, or our website, www.ramdiculous.com. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous Page. By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or MySpace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing. If you are an professor you need not worry, we will not use your profiles. And the 1994 movie Camp Nowhere is an underrated classic, except that the ending sucks.
Top Editor Bryce J. Parsons
The Yellow Ranger Christine Boswell
Artists and Writers The Usual Ramdiculists
I really really really wanna Zig-a-zig ha
Robert gripes about the Nineties By Robert Thompson
The Nineties were, and I
say this with infinite sincer-
ity, a black hole in human
development that is best
consigned to the dust bin of
history. But rather than list
all the things from the nine-
ties that I hated, (the Maca-
rena, Die Hard 2, my child-
hood—I mean, who has the
time?) I thought it would be
best if I just listed the things
from the nineties that I
liked:
The Internet
My nephews
My nieces
All the best cartoons
Frasier Visiting Mexico and not
ending up on the back of a
milk carton
Young Cary Elwes
Casino Goodfellas Making fun of that fey
little actress who I just
knew would never amount
to anything. What's his
name? Leonardo di
something or other…
Was there stuff about
the Nineties that I liked
but which weren't on the
list? Sure. But let's face it,
the nineties were defined
by boy bands and slap on
bracelets that our teach-
ers insisted would slit our
wrists; biggest conspiracy
since recycling by the
way. And speaking of stu-
pid ideas that way too
many otherwise rational
people believe in, anyone
remember Y2K? It was
pretty cool that everyone
in the family had a work-
ing flash light for a
change, but if it ever hits
the fan, ammunition and
fertile women are going
to be way more useful
than some dumb flash-
light.
On a personal note, I
need to make two correc-
tions his week.
In the Food Issue, I
took an anonymous woman
to task for calling me a fool
while I held the door open
for her. She has since come
out of the woodwork to tell
me that she meant “fool” in
the nicest way possible. I'm
skeptical, but let's take her
word for it.
Second, I am not now
nor have I ever been an elf.
Having said that, Orlando
Bloom is the most useless
pretty boy to ever dawn
the pointy ears and I hope
terrible things happen to
him. The assertion that I
am 470+ years old, well, I
can't remember breakfast
so if that's what it says I
guess it must be true.
Robert Thompson is not actually an elf. He is in fact a gigantic lawn gnome and five-time bowling cham-pion. The Ramdiculous
Page regrets the error, and it will not happen again anytime soon.
The Nineties By Miss C. Boz
1994 is a super great year
With Rugrats,
All That
And that kid with the foot-
ball shaped head
And those tiny little ears.
This year (2012) kinda sucks
with its meatballs
and duck faced…
Girls (lol)
Let's time travel back to that
fantastic year
Even though then I could no
longer partake of beer
I miss ah real monsters, and
that temple game show too
But most of all I miss teach-
ing all my friends to tie their
shoes
-Très yar-
Poetry Time.
3
Ram of the Week: Moni Martinez Meet Moni. She’s really cool. She’s the first grandmother to be Ram of the Week, which is really
cool. Four grandkiddos and four kids. Wow! Anyway, she also wanted us to tell you that her husband works at
ASU Cafe. She is of Black Dutch and Cherokee decent. She’s also Spiritual in belief; her church is Mother Earth.
She says that she got her Cherokee descent from her mom’s side, and she is PROUD of the fact that she has Cherokee roots.
And she loves beading, crocheting, photography, music, outdoors, all animals, cooking, BBQing, researching my family history, and (most of all) being with her family.
She’s a worthy Ram of the Week, in our humble opinion! We wish her all the best. Moni (dramatization)
the incredible question
(More questions at facebook.com
/ramdiculous)
2424 Vanderventer San Angelo, TX 76904
(325) 947-9462
3
Ram of the Week: Blackbeard Yo ho ho! This be the most fearsome pirate of them all! Many a child
screams at night thinking of th’ fearsome Edward Teach. Who is also BLACKBEARD! Ye be a poor soul who run afoul of Blackbeard on th’ Seven Seas. He’ll
scuttle yer boat and send your crewmates to the furthest depths of Davy Jones’ locker.
Many a man has tried to defy Blackbeard, but it be a fool’s pursuit. Th’ man pillages and plunders, and legend has it that he has buried treasure.
When ye are on th’ Seven Seas, keep a wary eye out for Blackbeard’s ship of the damned, the Queen Anne’s Revenge. She be equipped with forty guns and a flag with a skeleton piercing a heart!
Come to think of it, matey, that’ll be th’ last thing ye see before yer watery grave. Arr.
Anyway, he’s Ram of the Week. Hopefully he won’t kill us now. Blackbeard (dramatization)
the incredible question
(More questions at facebook.com
/ramdiculous)
Who’s This? Send us your
answer! Facebook.com/
ramdiculous Last answer: Captain Underpants
(A bunch of you got it right!)
RA
MD
ICU
LO
US
SU
DO
KU
D
iffic
ulty
: 2 (
Nor
mal
)
Free Ramdiculous pirate flag! We be flyin’ our own little Jolly Roger, arrr.
Cut it out and hang it anywhere around campus! Send
us the pictures! Be creative!
2
Quote of the Week
Vol. 12, Issue 3 Avast, Mateys!
R A M D I C U L O U S P A G E P O L I C Y Published every other Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper. We welcome all letters, tweets, and parlay. Please include yer name, position, and an email address, or we’ll keelhaul ya. All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned, for they be ourrrs. Submit your letters, articles, and/or Jolly Roger via our email, page@ramdiculous.com, or our website, www.ramdiculous.com. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous Page, so don’t ye be thinkin’ it. By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or MySpace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing. If you are a perfesser ye need not worry, we will not use yer profiles. FETCH ME A FLAGON OF ALE, WENCH!
The cap’n Bryce J. Parsons
The boatswain Christine Boswell
Me hearties The Usual Ramdiculists
Yo ho ho And a bottle of rum
“Now clear up them there shambles, or I'll feed you piece-meal to the rats in the cellar.” -Long John Silver
Be a Pirate!
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