Ugly Teams: Managing Difficult Conversations in Agile and ... · Blog: COHAA The Path to Agility...

Copyright QSM Associates, Inc.

Michael MahManaging Partner

QSM Associates, Inc.75 South Church Street

Pittsfield, MA 01201413-499-0988

Fax 413-447-7322e-mail: michael.mah@qsma.com

Website: www.qsma.comBlog: www.optimalfriction.com

COHAAThe Path to Agility

May 26, 2011

"Ugly Teams: Managing Difficult Conversations in Agile and Offshoring”

Defects Found

6 12 18 24 30 36 42 48 54 60 66 72 78 84 90

06/28 08/09 09/20 11/01 12/13 01/24

03/06 04/17 05/29 07/10 08/21 10/02 11/13 12/25 02/05

109876543101098765

Current Plan Actuals Green Control Bound Yellow Control Bound Project: CEP

Defects vs. Industry Average

Example Offshore Project

Gantt Chart By Sub-Phase<July Baseline Plan>

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec Jan

Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep

Inception

Elaboration 1

Elaboration 2

Elaboration 3

Construction 1 - Pre-FIT

Construction 2 - FIT

Construction 3 - UAT 1

Construction 4 - UAT 2

Construction 5 - Prod DataLoad

Production Pilot

Post Production

1110765320

Nov 19

Forecast to Complete (4 Month Delay)

-----Original Message-----

From: Tom DeMarco

[mailto:tdemarco@systemsguild.com]

To: Michael Mah

Michael,

[We need to contend with] a fairly angry CFO of the Nicholas Carr school who is demanding to [know] that he's not paying for a bunch of software dunderheads…

A Consultant’s Nightmare

“Chunk it, routinize it, digitize it,

…and then send it offshore”

Knowledge vs. Routine Work

� Expert Thinking: Requiring creativity and expert problem solving, design of new products.

� Complex Communication: High paying jobs in design, innovation, and management of others with face-to-face interaction.

� Routine Cognitive Tasks: Work that follows well-defined logical rules, such as call center and data processing. Some routing software coding.

� Routine manual tasks: Physical labor jobs such as blue-collar assembly line work.

� Nonroutine manual tasks: Physical labor jobs difficult to automate requiring optical recognition, fine motor control, including a range of factory jobs.

“mike exhausted.jpg” when you Google “Deathmarch”

“He noticed that the Feedback principle is a key feature of life forms from the simplest plants to the most complex animals, which change their reactions in response to their environment”

Norbert Wiener, 1894-1964

We Have to “Think Systems…”

Feedback Principle

A Systems View - Real Work, Necessary Friction, and Optional Chaos for Teams

OptionalChaos

Effort that goes directly into transcribing knowledge you already have into the system being built

The work necessary to discover

knowledge you do not already have

The “Brownian Motion” of the project. It is waste

NecessaryFriction

Real Work

Source:

Armour, Phillip G. ”Real Work, Necessary

Friction, Optional Chaos”

Communications of the ACM

Vol 47 No 6 June 2004

Short-Cycle Chaotic Projects

Duration

Projectsthat are highly compressed experience somewhat higher levels of “Necessary Friction” but MUCH higher levels of “Optional Chaos”

Typical “compressedschedule project—only a small percentage of thetotal effort is of any value

RealWork

Source:

Armour, Phillip G.

“Real Work, Necessary Friction,

Optional Chaos”

Vol 47 No 6

Extended Schedule

Duration

Onprojectsthat have the luxuryof extendedschedules, almostall of the effort expendedis useful and necessary work

Typical “relaxed” schedule solution--very

little “chaotic” behavior and unnecessary rework

RealWork

Source:

Armour, Phillip G.

Optional Chaos”

Vol 47 No 6

The Mix of Work

Duration

Each projecthas some degree of eachof these categories of effort, but their relative levelsare not constant!

Real WorkRealWork Typical “mid-point”

solution effort mix

Source:

Armour, Phillip G.

Optional Chaos”

Vol 47 No 6

Core Problem: They Aren’t Listening

�They are listening to their own “internal voice”

�Their internal voice blocks our voice

�Their internal voice is saying:

“your interpretation is wrong”

“you don’t understand our constraints”

“you don’t know what’s important”

How to get Past Their Internal Voice?

�Repetition and rephrasing don’t always help

What Does Help?

�Don’t talk. Listen…(remember, you’re negotiating not with what they’re saying, but with what they’re thinking)

�Benefits of Listening Well:

You learn what they care about.

Once their internal voice feels heard, it quiets down.

Then they can focus on you.

Difficult Software Conversations

“Facing tough problems with heart”

Difficult Conversations:

The “What Happened?” Conversation

We Argue about Who’s Right

I’m right..No you’re

not…

Difficult Conversations are

never about facts

They’re about judgments,

values, interpretations, and

expectations….

TWO OF THE

MOST POWERFUL AND EFFECTIVE

OF ALL

HUMAN FEARS

ARE THE FEAR OF FAILURE

AND THE FEAR OF SUCCESS

Costs of Focusing on Blame

�We don’t learn

�We get the problem wrong, so our “solutions” don’t work

�Relationships are damaged, while the problem stays

From Truth to Perception: Ask, “How Do You See It?”

�When your internal voice says: “They’re

wrong, mean, stupid, wrong, evil…”

�Change to: I wonder why they see it

differently? What’s their side of the story?

Three Key Shifts

� Truth Perceptions

How you see things is valid, but part of the story. What’s their story?

� Blame Joint Contribution

Take responsibility for your part, but not theirs.

� Intent Impact

Speak about how things impacted you, ask how things impacted them.

Climb Down the Ladder of Inference

Conclusions“I’m right; YOU’RE WRONG.”

Explore my Reasoning/InterpretationsHow do my past experiences impact this? What

beliefs cause me to see it this way?

Part of the StoryWhat do I notice? What do I ignore? What

might the other person notice that I don’t?

INFORMATIONINFORMATIONINFORMATIONINFORMATION

Blame vs. Contribution

BlameBlameBlameBlame

JointJointJointJointCCCCoooonnnnttttrrrriiiibbbbuuuuttttiiiioooonnnn

My Contribution

Your Contribution

Improve

Together

What Punishment?

Who’s Fault?

Common Contributions

1. Intersections of style, interests, expectations

2. Unclear understanding of agreement, changes, or why important

3. Failure to offer help / failure to ask for help

4. Failure to clarify consequences of changes, of non-performance

5. Avoiding until now / being unapproachable

6. Unclear authority

Take Part of the Responsibility

Shift from:Shift from:Shift from:Shift from: To:To:To:To:

This is their fault This is their fault This is their fault This is their fault (or)(or)(or)(or)This is my faultThis is my faultThis is my faultThis is my fault

Accepting Accepting Accepting Accepting responsibility responsibility responsibility responsibility makes me lookmakes me lookmakes me lookmakes me lookweakweakweakweak

We have each We have each We have each We have each contributed to the contributed to the contributed to the contributed to the current situationcurrent situationcurrent situationcurrent situation

Accepting Accepting Accepting Accepting part of thepart of thepart of thepart of theresponsibility gives responsibility gives responsibility gives responsibility gives me the power to me the power to me the power to me the power to change thingschange thingschange thingschange things

Contribution and Accountability

� Joint contribution doesn’t mean no one played a part

� Even when (especially when) you played a part, it’s important to talk about how both sides contributed to the problem

� Why? Because when you understand your part, you discover better ways to solve the problem, and can talk about them more easily

From Intention to Impact

Intentions matter

But other people’s intentions are invisible to us

So we make up their intentions based on:

- The impact on us

- Our feelings

We often assume the worst

Don’t Judge Intentions(at first)

Shift from:Shift from:Shift from:Shift from: To:To:To:To:

They meant itThey meant itThey meant itThey meant it They may have good,They may have good,They may have good,They may have good,conflicting, or noconflicting, or noconflicting, or noconflicting, or nointentionsintentionsintentionsintentions

What’s importantWhat’s importantWhat’s importantWhat’s important Our good intentionsOur good intentionsOur good intentionsOur good intentionsis that I had goodis that I had goodis that I had goodis that I had good don’t sanitize a baddon’t sanitize a baddon’t sanitize a baddon’t sanitize a badintentionsintentionsintentionsintentions impactimpactimpactimpact

Bottom Line on What Happened

� Perceptions: Treat your perspective as legitimate but limited. Inquire into theirs

� Contribution: Ask what you’ve each contributed to the problem. Think about how to change your own contribution

� Impacts: Speak to the impact of their actions on you, not to their intentions

The Feelings Conversation

Common ways:

To Avoid Certain Feelings,

We Translate, or “Convert” Them

� Judgments: “That’s wrong”

� Characterizations: “You’re stupid”

� Arguments: “What makes you think…”

� Problem Solving: “Here’s the answer…”

Impact? Defensiveness, misunderstandings,

poor problem solving, damaged relationships

Your Emotional Footprint

How does this change at different times,

in different places, and with different

people?

Which feelings are okay to express?

Which are not?

How were feelings treated in your

family?

Which feelings are easier for you to

share? Harder? Why?

But….?

� Decision-making should be objective, right?

�Yes. Talking about feelings actually helps you disentangle them from sound decision-making

� I’m not a therapist – I’ve got work to do

�True. Don’t talk about feelings for the sake of talking about feelings. Raise them only for with a clear purpose, including: � to improve problem solving & communication

� to address footprint intersections

� to improve motivation and morale

When Expressing Feelings

� Reflect, then negotiate with your feelings. Consider their view, your contribution, and question your attribution of their intentions

� Don’t “mutate” feelings into judgments, characterizations, or attributions

� Expressing emotions ≠ being emotional

When Others Express Feelings

� Let others have their feelings. Listen and acknowledge *before* trying to solve the problem

� Don’t try to “one-up” the other person’s feelings

� Untangle: hear judgments and accusations as signs of strong feelings being present

The Identity Conversation

Clues to Identity Issues

� Why is this so hard for me when others seem to handle it easily?

� Why do I sometimes lose my balance in the middle of these conversations?

� Why am I still stuck on what happened yesterday, last week, or last month?

We Get Knocked Off Balance

� It weakens us

� We avoid conversations we probably should have

� We’re unsure of ourselves

� We “give in” not because it’s right, but because we don’t know what else to do

Identity Triggers

I’m not the kind of person who:

- Makes mistakes

- Is mean

- Can be made fun of

- Hurts someone’s feelings

- Is irresponsible

- Is a lousy friend

- Is stupid

We deny what’s might be true, and act “super-defensive”

Coping with an Identity Quake

� Or we exaggerate everything

Mistake?????Mistake?????Mistake?????Mistake?????

I’m worthless… I’m worthless… I’m worthless… I’m worthless…

Worthless!Worthless!Worthless!Worthless!You made a

mistake

Balance Your Self-Image

� FROM: I am either a good person, or a bad person

� TO: I’m safe and secure, while understanding all parts of who I am

Bottom Line on Identity

� Identity earthquakes spark strong reactions, which affects how

we see things

� Before a difficult conversation, ask yourself: what’s happening

inside?

� During the conversation, keep discoveries about yourself as

part of a bigger picture

� Talk about it with someone who cares about you

www.qsma.com

Who We Are:� QSM maintains the world’s largest benchmarking database of 8,000+

completed software projects collected worldwide. We put industry

productivity statistics on the desktop.

� The QSM SLIM database contains projects in all industries, waterfall,

Agile, offshore/outsourced, in-house, new development, and

maintenance.

� SLIM tools enable managers to measure and estimate Agile and/or

waterfall projects, and determine ROI.

Industry Data from the QSM SLIM-Metrics Database

� Spans 20+ years

� Large, worldwide heterogeneous

database contains over 8,000+

projects

� Represents over 685+ million

SLOC, 7+ million function points,

over 600 languages, from 500+

organizations in 18 countries

� Adding 200 – 400 projects/year

Partial List of Clients

� British Telecom

� SAP

� Microsoft

� Intel

� AT&T/BellSouth

� BMC Software

� Motorola

� VerizonWireless

� Roche Diagnostics

� Fiserv Corp

� IBM Global

� Misys Healthcare

� JPMorganChase

� Boeing

� Bank of New York Mellon

� Lockheed Martin

� Progressive Insurance

� DirecTV

Estimate:

Size, Schedule,

Cost & Quality

Estimating

SLIM-DataManager

Software Project Metrics Repository

SLIM-Control:

Variance

Analysis

Adaptive

Forecasting SLIM-Metrics:

Industry

Benchmarking

& Process

Improvement

SLIM-MasterPlan: Incremental

Development & Project

Aggregation

For Additional Information

Michael Mahemail: michael.mah@qsma.comwebsite: www.qsma.comblog: www.optimalfriction.comtwitter: @michaelcmahTel: 00 1 413-499-0988

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