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The UCAS Personal Statement
How are Personal Statements used?
n1. To help decide whether to make an offer
n2. To decide whether to interview
n3. A starting point for questions if interviewed
n5. If you miss the required grade in July, admissions tutors may reconsider your statement if they have spare places
How Important is the Personal Statement?
Depends on the university and its admissions priorities: it varies. Very important for selective universities (e.g. Russell Group).
The point is…. n you don’t known so treat it seriouslyn it can count against you if it is not well written
Format
n 4,000 characters (including spaces), or 47 lines (including blank lines)
n No title or subtitles
n Submitted online, but write in a Word doc first
n UK English
n 75% academic, 25% extra-curricular
Content
n 75% academic, 25% extra-curricular. For v. selective universities, more like 80/20 or even 90/10.
Academic =n Why you want to do this particular degreen Subjects connected to the degree that you enjoy and whyn Particular projects/units/themes that you enjoyed and whyn Anything done outside lessons and connected to degree (wider
reading, lectures attended etc)
Extra-curricular = n Sport, drama, music, charity work etc. Even better if connected
to degree
Feedback from LSE about FIS applications
Of those rejected on the basis of their personal statements the following points were noted:
� Narrative of personal experiences.
� Lacks wider reading/ academic engagement.
� Lacks specific engagement with the subject, e.g. 'I am monitoring the UN debate through the internet'.
� Lots of (too much) focus on extra-curricular activities.
What’s wrong with these?
n I want to be a doctor because I am interested in science and I enjoy helping people. I know this because I am always trying to look for ways to help others, whether it is in the supermarket or the airport. I think medicine is a very challenging career, but the hard work pays off, literally!
n I am drawn to the interdisciplinary nature of Exeter’s degree.
n I have a black belt in karate and enjoy marital arts.
n “It’s the economy, stupid!” Growing up in Hong Kong, I have been aware since a small child that economics is at the heart of everything.
What does a reasonable statement look like?
Read this extract:
What do you think of it?
Business Studies
Although I enjoy studying Mathematics and Geography, it is Business Studies that I wish to pursue in more depth. I believe a degree in Business will build on my understanding of marketing and financial management. Businesses have to operate within a legal framework, and I was lucky enough to shadow a barrister for a day to gain an insight into the legal profession. I hope to study aspects of law as part of my degree.
A range of school opportunities have broadened my experiences. Participation in the Hong Kong Award For Young People has been challenging and fulfilling, allowing me to work with a diverse range of people. My voluntary work at Help the Aged proved to be rewarding and gave me a more caring perspective on life. I have also taken part in the ’Form 1 Friends’ Scheme' in which I supported young students during their first term at school. Taking part in the school drama club as a technician has been fun and has taught me the importance of working to deadlines. I have further pursued my interest in drama and have so far been fortunate to see 'Twelfth Night' and 'Les Miserables'. My role as Deputy Operations Director in the Young Enterprise Scheme has given me an insight into business life. I am interested in the internet and have helped staff redesign the school website. I hope to learn more about web site design at university. Although no-one could call me a sportsman, I am a keen football player and play regularly on an informal basis.
Outside school I belong to a hiking club, which allows me to maintain physical fitness while enjoying the nature of Hong Kong. I have managed to balance the demands of my IB studies with a varied and enjoyable school and social life. I look forward to the opportunities offered at university.
How might the statement be improved?
How might the statement be improved?
n Far more about why the applicant wishes to read Business Studies at university (should be 75% academic, 25% non-academic)
n More detail about relevant experiences such as the Young Enterprise scheme e.g. What was the product being marketed? Why did you enjoy the opportunity?
n Instead of writing a long list of extra-curricular activities, discuss key activities in more depth
Don’t…
n Don't write anything artistically creative (dramatic starts, rhetorical questions, attempts at comedy, quotations) – this nearly always doesn’t work, and will probably encourage admissions tutors to reject you.
n The people who read your personal statement could be teaching you in the future, and they will be looking for someone who can express their ideas in a straightforward way. Don’t irritate them!
Don’t…
n Don't just list things that you've done, or read. State what you've gained from doing those things, or how you've followed them up.
Don’t…
n Don't put things on your personal statement that you intend to read in the future.
n You should be reflecting back on things you've already done, and saying what you've got out of them.
Don’t…
n Don't just state that you have skills; show evidence of how you gained them or used them.
Don’t…
n Don't go on and on about extra-curricular activities - it is expected that as you went to a fee-paying school, you will had opportunities to do lots.
n It is much more effective to focus on a couple of meaningful activities, and write about what you've got out of them.
Don’t…
n Don’t waste words explaining how living in HK has allowed you to develop tolerance and cultural understanding.
n That could apply to anyone who is lucky enough to live in HK and says little about yourself and why you in particular should be accepted for the degree course.
Don’t…
n Don’t use fancy words that you would not ordinarily use; you could end up sounding insincere or pompous.
n Don’t rely on “help” from agents
Don’t…
Don’t mention a university by name
nWrite about IB/Bac studies that interested you the most & why
n…e.g. your EE/TPE, or particular essays/projects/experiments you did
Do…
EXAMPLE: Personal Statement for Sociology
n “I have particularly enjoyed studying the sociology of health and illness as part of my Biology Extended Essay. I researched patients’psychological reactions towards becoming ill. Referring to the work of Michael Bury, I wrote an essay about how people cope with the effects of chronic illness, for example, on their intimate relationships and work. As the next step, I am currently interviewing people who suffer from Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI), using a sample identified through a family contact.”
n Comment – The reader is left with the impression that the applicant has enjoyed the course at school and is motivated by the Biology and its links to Sociology. There is a detailed example of research.
Do…
n Write about any relevant books / articles you have read, or any lectures or conferences you attended
n “I have furthered my knowledge of Chinese history by reading “….” is bettter than “I very much enjoy studying Chinese history”.
EXAMPLE…Personal Statement for Psychology
n“I have particularly enjoyed reading about Freudian theory in psychology. I found an interesting article in the New Scientist (“Freud: who seduced whom?”) in which it was claimed that Freud misrepresented his research to suit his theories of human behaviour. This article sheds a great deal of doubt on the validity of Freud’s work. However, I still find his theories of personality development fascinating and am currently reading a book by Melanie Kline which is more supportive of Freudian theory.”
n Comment - Both references to the article and the book go beyond standard in-class study so they both represent wider reading, motivation and interest in the course. If interviewed, you might be asked to expand on the references in the statement.
Write about experiences that relate to the degree, e.g:
n Conferencesn Summer coursesn Tripsn Lecturesn Work Experience/Internshipsn Relevant people you have met…n Inspiring TED talks
…these indicate that you have given serious thought to the choice of course
Do…
EXAMPLE…Personal Statement for Economics + Management
If a man had his feet in fire and his head in ice he would report his average temperature as ‘fine’. This is analogous to the stark disparity evident to me in my home city of Hong Kong. Leading a service project that distributed food to the poor, I was confronted with the tail end of Hong Kong’s free market: cage homes, lack of access to opportunities and social instability - all masked by Hong Kong’s reputation as a prosperous laissez-faire economy. Having a passion for mathematics, my first instinct was to study this through a statistical lens, looking at how cumulative distribution functions and regressions can measure income dispersions through the Lorenz Curve. With a GINI coefficient of 0.537, my home town is one of the most unequal places in the world. Through studying economics, I hope to develop the skills to understand why.
Comment:
n Links CAS/extracurricular activities to degree.
n Shows ethical/humanitarian approach to economics
n Shows technical ability (e.g. GINI coefficient)
n Really good!
Write about what interests you about the particular degree courses (e.g. exchange possibilities, year abroad, teaching style, links with employers…)
… IF this applies to all your university choices.
Do…
EXAMPLE…Personal Statement for Medicine
n “I am very keen to be part of a course that uses integrated learning where, for instance, one learns about the skeletal structure and, at the same time, one learns ways of talking to patients about disability and problems with movement. I find the interaction of the biological and social aspects of the course exciting.”
n Comment – It is important to know about course content – there is always more to a course than a title. Writing about course content and how the course is taught helps the admission tutor appreciate that you have done your research.
n But…be sure this applies to all your UCAS choices
Set the spellcheck to English (UK)! Often it is set to English (US) by default.
(realise, not realize)(colour, not color)
Do…
Top 10 overused phrases
Mary Curnock Cook, UCAS’ Chief Executive said: “The personal statement is supposed to be personal. Learning to write about yourself in a compelling way is a vital skill when applying for jobs; using hackneyed phrases is not the best way to stand out.”
n1. From a young age I have (always) been [interested in/fascinated by]… [1,779]n2. For as long as I can remember I have… [1,451]n3. I am applying for this course because… [1,370]n4. I have always been interested in… [927]n5. Throughout my life I have always enjoyed… [310]n6. Reflecting on my educational experiences… [257]n7. Nursing is a very challenging and demanding [career/profession/course]… [211]n8. Academically, I have always been… [168]n9. I have always wanted to pursue a career in… [160]n10. I have always been passionate about… [160]
nTop overused quote: Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world… [148]
Para 1: Reason for applying
Para 2: Evidence of interest + ability
Para 3: What kind of person are you?
Suggested Structure: Paras 1+2 (academic part) should take more space than Paras 3+4.Interest in degree area
Connected subjects you enjoy in school
Relevant projects/essays etc in school
Wider reading
Work exp, lectures, conferences etcAcademic awards
Study skills (research, ICT, teamwork etc)
Extra-curricular activities (in/out of school)
Positions of responsibility
Service trips, big events
Gap year plans (if relevant)
Para 4: Conclusion Reinforcement of reasons for applying
Future/career plans (if known)
Deadlines
Early applics (Oxford/Cambridge/Medicine/Vet/Dentistry):Ø PS finished by start of term; Mr. H/Mrs. McCarthy can
check in Sept
Regular applics: Ø 1st draft by mid-Oct.
Ø Contact your advisor by mid-Oct to make an appointment (you initiate it).
Ø PS finished by mid-Nov (IS) or end of Nov (FS) and ready for pasting into your UCAS applic.
Personal Statement/Essay Checking
nPanel of volunteer staff in both streams - native English –who will be personal statement advisors.
nYou will be assigned an advisor if you respond to survey in autumn
nMake an appointment, present your best 1st draft to your PS advisor and then redraft if necessary, based on feedback
nYour advisor will check the English and look for irrelevance/waffle/poor expression
nOxbridge/early UK applics: PS advisor = Mr. HammondnUSA early applics: essay advisor = Mrs. McCarthy
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