Speaking to Parents: Five Things Every Parent NEEDS to know And a Good Review for Everyone Working...

Speaking to Parents: Five Things Every Parent NEEDS to know

And a Good Review for Everyone Working with the Millennial Cohort of Students

Dori Hutchinson Sc.D. and Margaret Ross M.D.ACHA 2012

Sending a Child to College

• Developmental milestone for child AND parent; important time developmentally

• Vivid memories of one’s own experience• Then….and now• 2012 at BU• Unbroken (Hillenbrand)

What’s the Same?

• Insecurities• Pressure• Coming of age rituals• Vulnerability to mental health issues• Developmental issues• Alcohol

What’s Different?

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away….

What’s Different?

• Pace and pressure• Social media and technology• Debate about curriculum and majors• Magnitude of debt• Millennials: characteristics• Laws: HIPAA, FERPA, confidentiality,

landmark cases• Americans with Disabilities Act

Pace and Pressure

Social Media and Technology

Curriculum and Majors

Magnitude of Debt

Characteristics of Millennials

Laws: HIPAA, FERPA, ADA, cases

Americans with Disabilities Act

The Millennials: The “ME Generation”

• Millennials Go To College (Howe and Strauss)1

• Whassup? A Glimpse into the Attitudes and Beliefs of the Millennial Generation (Sandfort and Haworth)2

• 1© 2003 American Association of Collegiate Registrars and Admissions Offices (AACRAO) and Life Course Associates

• Executive Summary prepared by Steve Eubanks, (originally for distribution at Azusa Pacific University; revised for general release 8/06)

• 2002, Sandfort School of the Art Institute of Chicago; Haworth at Loyola University Chicago

The “Millennials”

• Generation born 1982- 2002• Predicted: Optimistic, team oriented, high

achieving, rule following

The “Millennials”

• “Correcting for the Baby Boomers’ narcissism, impatience, iconoclasm, and focus on talk over action….”

• Upbeat, achieving, team playing, civic minded• ……HMMMMM

• These aren’t the students I’m seeing

The “Millennials”

• Emergence of “helicopter parenting”• High emphasis on childhood• It’s all about ME• Decrease in unstructured free time—more

school, work, visiting non custodial parent, etc.

Seven Core Traits of “Millennials”:

• Special• Sheltered• Confident• Team-Oriented• Conventional• Pressured• Achieving• “Each with its own shadow side….”

www.bu.edu/mentalhealth

Attitudes and Beliefs

• Link between education and income: direct• Belief that they need to go to college in order

to get ahead, make money• Parents reinforce the need to do well in

college to make a good living; pressure on students

Attitudes and Beliefs

• Disappointment in the political system leading to cynicism and disillusionment

• BUT…• “We’ve been told our whole lives we are going

to have to be the ones who fix the country.”• Along with the cynicism, an increase in

volunteerism and community service

Attitudes and Beliefs

• “Cautiously optimistic” about the future, barriers to be overcome

• Anxiety about how technology will impact their future, about global conflict

• Since the economic crash in 2008, more anxiety about money.

2008 and Beyond

• Economic crash, hitting worldwide, but unequally, derailed many of these predicted descriptors of this generation

• Internationals as an increasing percent of the makeup of the American university

• What are we seeing in our Millennial students?

The Information Age Mindset3

• Computers aren’t technology; they are an assumed part of life

• The Internet is better than TV• Multitasking is a way of life• Staying connected is essential: FACEBOOK • There is zero tolerance for delays

• 3Frand, Jason; Educause Review 35, No. 5 (Sept-Oct. 2000); 15-24, in Boomers and Gen-Xers and Millennials; Understanding the NEW Students by Diana Oblinger Educause July-August 2003

BU Secret

Time for a Short Break

Getting to the Five Things

The Five Things for Parents and Mental Health Professionals to Know• Helicopter parenting, technology and stress

hardiness• Americans with Disabilities Act and what this

means for students in college• Changing demography of student body and

impact on education and career paths• FERPA and what it means for you and your

student• What can one hope to find at Student Health

Services? HOW to get it?

I. Helicopter Parenting

Then• DAL as case example

– Expectation of autonomy– Separation and Individuation– Individualism– Confidence

Now

Resiliency? Autonomy?

Then: Parents• Baby Boomers, “hippies”• Economic boom• “The ‘60’s”• VietNam War, activism• Don’t trust anyone over 30• LSD, tune out, drop out

Now: Students• Millennials, conformity• Post economic downturn• ???? What era is this?• Iraq and Afghanistan,

political torpor• Closeness with parents,

trust in adults, dependency• Alcohol, MJ, always

connected but mainly through Facebook/virtual

Stress Hardiness

• Helping Parents Help their Children• Using Technology Appropriately• Conveying Confidence• Passing on Life Skills• Techniques and Strategies for Coping• Empathy as a Coping Skill and Suicide

Prevention Strategy (Dori Hutchinson)

Technology

Technology: Double Edged Sword

• The Facebook Generation= The Millennials• Being connected 24/7, while feeling isolated• Pseudo-communication and connection• Being facile with technology, but having little

experience with real life skills• Unintended consequence: more screen time,

less exercise, less coping

II. The ADA and What it Means

• More opportunity for everyone to attend • Need for students to advocate for themselves• More “hidden disabilities” as well as apparent

on campus• What parents need to know: ADHD as

example

III. Changing Demographics

• Who goes to college– Idea that income tied to education– Change from last generation– Competition for grades, jobs– International population– Diversity– Scholarships

Career Paths

• What is a smart person to do?• Doctor? Lawyer? Business? High tech?• Greater choice, fewer openings• “Soaring expectations, crushing realities”

(Twenge, J. 2006; Generation ME. Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled, and More Miserable than Ever Before. Free Press, Simon and Schuster Inc.)

IV. FERPA, HIPAA and high profile cases

• What parents need to know• What school administrators and professors

need to know• What students need to know• What college health and mental health

professionals NEED TO KNOW

Virginia Tech 2007

MIT

V. Crucial Parental Communication

• HOW:– Websites– Admissions and Orientation– Deans Office– Student Health Services and Mental Health– Advising System

• WHEN:• WHEN NOT:

WHEN:

• Major eating issues• Major health concerns• Depression, suicidality• Withdrawal from classes• Crime, victimization• Good things too-- celebrations, birthdays,

Commencement

WHEN NOT:

• Bad grade• Worry about test• Roommate issues (minor)• Anger about something trivial• Library fines…. A true story

Summary: Role of Parent

• “Your job is not done.”• Margaret Mahler: Separation-Individuation as

“Love affair with the world”• Eriksonian concepts: each stage of life with a

developmental task• Rite of passage for child and parent• Success: Your child grows up and leaves you

in the dust.

The Importance of Listening

• BU Today ZB It Gets Better

Thank youmross@bu.eduMargaret RossBU Behavioral Medicinedorih@bu.eduDori HutchinsonBU Center for Psychiatric Rehabilitation