Sideshow Freaks and How to Spot Them

And How to Spot Them

Welcome to the

Please enjoy this complimentary compendium of

Welcome to the

Please enjoy this complimentary compendium of

Though he is a little small, his B movie career as Bigfoot has really taken off in the last year. You can often see him sur-

rounded by fans and scantily clad women. When he does get a free moment, he follows his nose to the hotdog stand in his

preferred attire, a Russian cavalry uniform.

The ragged scars and steely stare are a sure giveaway for spotting this all-around tough girl. It’s important not to cross

her, or you might not live to do it twice.

With all the time spent with his lions, he forgets that people are the same as he and not the cats. It’s usually best to humor

his demands or he might get out the whip.

When not on stage, she will giggle impishly and bat her eyelashes at gawkers. This is how you distinguish her from the

albino elephant. She is proudly the largest woman in the country.

Though his man boobs may be saggy, do not dare tease him. When he gets angry, you could punch him with a house and

he wouldn’t be fazed.

No, that’s not an abnormally short, walking smokestack. It’s just the good old Ring Master. When not in the big top, his boisterous voice and grandiose gestures make him a hit

at the local karaoke bars.

Due to his fabulous peekaboo skills, the Rubber Man is often a bigger hit with the children than the clowns. If he gets too much attention, you may find the rubber man stuffed inside

the clown car with no room at all to stretch.

He looks a little like JoJo in the face, but he has less clothes and more claws. Though unnecessary, he wears a chain

for your peace of mind.

*We claim no responsibility for any injuries incurred while at the circus. You have been forewarned.

The Strong Man’s carefully curved mustache and spandex muscle suit—the better to flex in—will surely give him

away. But don’t look for this performer near the food carts. If he eats anything fatty, it goes straight

to his earlobes.

To spot this nimble specimen, you will most likely need to look up to the trees. He’s a climber, though most of the

actual monkeys don’t do such things (see Civilized Chimp).

Bored by mere walking, these performers fly through the air outside like squirrels (or the Monkey Child), leaping from

branch to branch. Beware lest they slip.

Because of his paranoia, he is constantly looking over shoulders—even his own—to spot the traitor he believes

lurks in the crowd. His search for the truth makes him quite interrogative. Be prepared for the inevitable “Who?”.

When spotted, Miss Mignon is really quite unmistakable. However, she does not often leave her tent for fear of being

trampled by the masses.

Jockeys are small, but none are quite this hairy—or naked. This pair can be found in the stables relaxing and collecting

on friendly wagers after a hard day in the races.

This creature is one of the easiest to spot, but they will most likely see you first. The nickname “Four Eyes” has never been

more appropriate. If you see them near the grill, kindly direct them back to the sideshow. We don’t want the cooks to

reinvent the double cheeseburger.

Those two beautiful girls across the room aren’t just similarly dressed, they are in fact wearing the exact same

set of clothing. They are rather sensitive about their limited fashion world, so please do not mention it.

That is not the ugliest man, but the most handsome, suave chimp you have ever seen. Please don’t give him guff for smoking cigars, drinking scotch, and womanizing. The

more mellow he is, the less likely he will be to start the overthrow of the human race.

Even when not performing, this freak likes to remain in brief animal hide clothing. There is less of it to catch fire and

it doesn’t melt to the skin like the synthetic material that is so popular these days. This is a real danger, since he’s always

doing lighter tricks.

When wearing a jacket, you may think she has the most terrible manners possible—or that she is a cancan girl. This is

not the case, she merely must use her feet as her hands.

The small being you see walking among you is not a dwarf man. He is on vacation. This is our own Pippy Longwhiskers, the bearded girl. She may be scruffy, but she loves ribbons.

This book was made with love in the fall of 2010 at Washington University in St. Louis for DB Dowd’s Visual

Worlds class. The body text is set in 13 pt Perpetua. The dis-play type is hand drawn ink based on Carnivalee Freakshow.

All images and text created by Kate Oberg.