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Rethinking the American Child. There are three basic tasks of the adolescence journey Who am I? Identity Do I and my choices matter? Autonomy Where do I fit in? Affinity. Journey to Adulthood (as defined by culture). Society’s Responses to Adolescence. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
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Rethinking the American Child
There are three basic tasks of the adolescence journey
• Who am I? Identity
• Do I and my choices matter? Autonomy
• Where do I fit in? Affinity
Puberty AdulthoodPre-1900s 14.5 161900-1970 13 181970-Now 11.7 Mid 20s
Journey to Adulthood(as defined by culture)
Society’s Responses to Adolescence
“We have evolved to the point where we believe driving is support, being active is love,
and providing any and every opportunity is selfless nurture. We are a culture that has
forgotten how to be together. We have lost the ability to spend unstructured downtime.”
From Chap Clark, Hurt: Inside the world of today’s teenagers.
The World Beneath
A Second Family
Art of Multiple Lives
New Morality
Social Cluster vs. Social Cliques
Response to Systemic Abandonment
“In their most shocking and often frightening behavior, in the rules of their private world, as well as in the longing
of their hearts, children are telling us everything we need to know, not just about them, but about ourselves. By peering thoughtfully and bravely into their universe, adults can find answers that will heal our families,
restore out schools, and strengthen our communities.” From Ron Taffel with Melinda Blau, The Second Family: How adolescent
power is challenging the American family.
The Six Longings of Today’s Kids
The Longing to BelongThe Longing to Matter
The Longing to be WantedThe Longing for a Safe Place
The Longing to be Taken SeriouslyThe Longing to be Uniquely Myself
So What Do We Do About It?
We must be committed to a healthy authenticity
TransparentHonest
Minimize Transference
So What Do We Do About It?
We must create a sanctuary
Free of judgmentWhere we listen
Messiness is allowed
So What Do We Do About It?
We pursue one kid at a time
Finding the bridgeSeek understanding/Be curiousUnconditional positive regard
So What Do We Do About It?
We sit on the steps of the world beneath
Learn cultural artifactsLearn their language
Give the gift of presence
Further Thoughts
Study your ScripturesPray, Pray, Pray
Know that God is already at work (in the kids and in you)
Enjoy yourselfDon’t expect reciprocity from the kids
Take risks
Prayer for our YouthO Christ Jesus,
when all is darknessand our kids feel weak and helpless,
give them the sense of Your presence,Your love, and Your strength.
Help them to have perfect trustin Your protecting love
and strengthening power,so that nothing may frighten or worry them,
for it is in living close to You,that we shall see Your hand,
Your purpose, and Your will through and in all things.
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