OCIC 2013

YOUTH AS MALE ALLIES AND LEADERS

Building cultures of respect and non-violence

Jeff PereraCommunity Engagement Manager

jperera@whiteribbon.caTwitter: @jeffperera

white ribbon

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Conversations we need to have

with men, young men

and boys

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Group Agreeme

nt

@WhiteRibbon@HigherUnlearnin

@JeffPerera#2013GCF

Gender

Roles young men can play from the classroom to the boardroom to the

living room in helping

create more inclusive

and safer spaces.

Question: What’s this got to do with me?

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What in theworld

are youngmen into?

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@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

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Masculine Warrior as Hero

Questions Not

Answers

What is

your dream

?

How does your

Gender impact your

dream?

www.whiteribbon.ca@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Who are you in this picture

?

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Violence against women happens in all cultures and religions, in all ethnic and racial communities, at every

age, and in every income group.

However, some women are especially

at risk:

A woman or child in Canada is being sexually

assaulted, every minute of every day…

51% of women in Canada over the age of 16 have

experienced at least one form of

men’s violence against women…

Females under age of 25 are most at risk of sexual

assault and criminal harassment.

For women with disabilities, 60% will be sexually

assaulted during their lifetime.

In the past 10 years, more than 600 Aboriginal Women have been murdered,

are currently missing or feared dead...

By the age of 12, 1 in 4 girls will

experience street

harassment in the form

of unwanted attention in

public.

By the age of 19 that

number is nearly 90 percent.

From ‘Street Harassment: Every Women’s War” by Ebony Magazine’s Kristin

Braswell

Women constitute

half the world's population,

perform nearly two-thirds of its

work hours, receive one-tenth of the

world's income and own less

than one-hundredth of the world's property.

1 out of every 3 women worldwide has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused.

Women’s Rightsare Human RightsGender Based Violence

as a violationof Human Rights.

Where does this issue come from?

www.whiteribbon.ca@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

WRC’s work with men and boys is focused on Primary Prevention

• Before the problem starts: Primary Prevention

• Once the problem has begun: Secondary Prevention

• Responding afterwards: Tertiary Prevention

Primary Prevention aims to lessen the chances that men and boys will use violence, and/or that women and girls will suffer from violence.

DUDES AND FEMINISM

MANSPLAINING-FREE ZONE

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

whiteribbon.ca

Some of the things women have taught me…

They have taught me how to be humanto connect to my humanity

to the earth and the world we live inand how to lead the fight for change.

Women can lead a childWomen can lead a company

Women can lead a nationWomen can lead a movement

Women Are Leaders

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

www.whiteribbon.ca@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Role and Responsibility vs.

‘Blame and Shame’

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www.whiteribbon.cawhiteribbon.ca

Labels

What does it mean to be a girl?

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Sugar and Spice:

What a girl ‘can and can’t be’

Courageous vs. Conscientiousne

ss

Devaluing a women’s

voice

Devaluing a woman’s voice

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

What does it mean to be a boy?

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

www.whiteribbon.ca

The Gender Box for Men

Emotional, Soft, Weak, Have feelings, Vulnerable,

Cry, Need help, Expressive, Passive…feminine.

ToughAggressive

Not EmotionalSmart

Keep in inside

StrongKnows all about Sex

“Be A Man”In control

Can take itTake charge

Capable

HardPush people

aroundDon’t back

downDon’t Cry

www.whiteribbon.ca

“Beliefs are the police of the mind”

- Saul Williams

What do you like or dislikeabout identifying as a

specific gender?

white ribbon

Boys

What do you like or not like about being a boy?

Maps to Manhood

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Created Ideas of Manhood

DOWN HAPPY EXCITED DEPRESSED LOVING TENDER

RELIEVED PERKY FRIGHTENED OPTIMISTIC DOWN SYMPATHETIC

FASCINATED JOYFULANXIOUS DEJECTED SOFT LOVING

RESENTFUL VITALITY HOPE PATIENT CHEERFUL FEAR

CONFIDENCE SHAME HAPPY PANIC ASTONISHED TRUST

ASHAMED ENVY APPRECIATION ELATION OFFENDED DETERMINED

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Men and Mental Health

whiteribbon.ca@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Men with disabilities

Avatar’s Jake Sully

‘damaged goods’ ‘not beautiful’

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

The Performance of Masculinity

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@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Urinal Etiquette

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The Greatest Insult

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Formula for Manhood?=

Prove You Are Not a Woman

Growing Up: Ascent or

Descent into Manhood?

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

www.whiteribbon.ca@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Racialized Men Macho Men

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www.whiteribbon.ca@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Fear of Vulnerability

Pressure to be

In Control

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

“Ironically, men must break their bodies to prove they

are unbreakable.” – Masculinities' 101

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Pretending

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Ideas of Gender enforced by society

Not having power only heightens masculine insecurities. If manhood is about power and control, not being powerful means you are

not a man. Again, violence becomes a means to prove otherwise to yourself and others”

-Michael Kaufman

Power

 Dominance. Is there a link between force, domination,

violence and sex?

whiteribbon.ca

whiteribbon.ca@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

whiteribbon.ca

www.whiteribbon.ca

"We live in a society where manhood is all about conquering, all the time...and what we don't realize is that definition of manhood ultimately destroys you“

- Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes

http://gg.tigweb.org/maricoan/13136/

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

I don’t need to be The MAN in order to be a man.

white ribbon

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

We raise our men to die quietly or loudly

“He must really be hurting”

http://users.bible.org/blogs/nategwm/two_kinds_%E2%80%9Cfalling_away%E2%80%9D

This issue affects us all

This is not the end of

Men

…but a chance

for a new beginning

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

 ”Respect for Women = Freedom for Men”

Freedom to Be Who We Are

“As men we hold a huge responsibility in helping to end

violence against women. It is not solely the responsibility of women

to take a stand against violence and abuse; we in fact hold the largest

responsibility of all...

...with the knowledge that I come from a matriarchal society, I

acknowledge that as a man it is my job to respect the strength of

women. Each of us must learn to honour the roots of our own culture so that collectively we can have a

stronger backing in ending violence and abuse against women”

DJ DANFORTH

www.whiteribbon.ca

BLUEPRINTS FOR CHANGE

December 6th, 1989

whiteribbon.ca

whiteribbon.ca

Inspiring male-identified brothers, fathers, sons, husbands, co-workers. friends and romantic

partners to embrace how they can

be a part of change.

White Ribbon is the world’s largest grassroots effort engaging men and

boys to redefine masculinity and help end gender-based violence.

whiteribbon.ca

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera @HigherUnlearnin

“Always have a dream that will last beyond

your lifetime”Jack Layton

co-founder of the White Ribbon Campaign

Wearing a White Ribbon is a personal pledge to never commit, condone or remain silent about

violence against women and girls.

Wearing a white ribbon is a way of saying, “Our future has no violence

against women.”

www.whiteribbon.ca

The White Ribbon Campaign

Now in over 60 countries, WRC is

the largest effort in the world of men working to end

violence against women

whiteribbon.ca

19911993200020052007+

Growth of the WRC

www.whiteribbon.ca

White Ribbon around the world!

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

White Ribbon Campaign - Pakistan

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Brazil – International Women’s Day

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Antarctic

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Australia

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www.whiteribbon.ca

Chile

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www.whiteribbon.ca

Cape Verde

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Canada – Cape Verde Project

February 2010

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February 2010

White Ribbon and Swim Team, Florence, Italy

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February 2010

Strength Campaign, Italy

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Cambodia – Men’s Network

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Singapore

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White Ribbon Rally in Namibia

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White Ribbon in the Premier Football Division, Liverpool UK

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Guiding Principles: Gender is Relational

Men’s violence against women is neither exclusively a women’s issue, nor a men’s issue, but it is a society wide issue

Consequently, work with men and boys must be gender

transformative; including discussions and critical debate

about gender norms and how these influence social norms, attitudes, and behaviours

whiteribbon.ca

The fundamental question has shifted

from “why” we should work with men and boys, to

“how” we work with men and boys.

www.whiteribbon.ca/issuebrief

whiteribbon.cawhiteribbon.ca

Engaging men and boys is an essential component of realizing transformative change on the issue of gender-based

violence.

This Issue Brief is rooted in three basic premises:

www.whiteribbon.ca/issuebrief

White Ribbon Campaign (WRC) Issue Brief: Engaging Men and Boys to Reduce and Prevent Gender-Based Violence.

whiteribbon.ca

1. Work with men and boys is necessary.

As perpetrators, the target audience for primary prevention, holders of the social norms and influencers on other men, men must to be engaged to reduce and prevent gender-based

www.whiteribbon.ca/issuebrief

White Ribbon Campaign (WRC) Issue Brief: Engaging Men and Boys to Reduce and Prevent Gender-Based Violence.

whiteribbon.ca

2. Work with men and boys can be effective.

As the evidence base grows, evaluation data appears, lessons are learned, and best practices are shared, we know this may be the missing compliment to past decades of work.

www.whiteribbon.ca/issuebrief

White Ribbon Campaign (WRC) Issue Brief: Engaging Men and Boys to Reduce and Prevent Gender-Based Violence.

whiteribbon.ca

3. Work with men and boys can be positive.

There is a much broader spectrum of positive roles for men and boys to play than perpetrator or potential perpetrator of gender-based violence. These roles not only prevent and reduce violence against women and promote gender equality, but also improve the lives of men and boys by freeing them from these harmful and limiting aspects of masculinities.

www.whiteribbon.ca/issuebrief

White Ribbon Campaign (WRC) Issue Brief: Engaging Men and Boys to Reduce and Prevent Gender-Based Violence.

whiteribbon.ca

Other Programs and Projects:

• Workshops for youth, presentations in schools, outreach at community fairs, etc

• Capacity building, training for teachers, professionals, community leaders

• E-learning initiatives, social media campaigns

• Technical consultation for communities, NGOs, governments, and United Nations, UN system (WHO, UNFPA, UNIFEM)

• Member of the steering committee of MenEngage Global Alliance

February 2010whiteribbon.ca

www.whiteribbon.ca

Types of Interventions With Men*

1. Strengthening Individual Knowledge and Skills

2. Promoting Community Education

3. Educating Professionals and Service Providers

4. Engaging and Mobilizing Communities

5. Changing Organizational Practices

6. Influencing Policy and Legislation

* Adapted from the work of Dr. Michael Flood www.xyonline.net

White Ribbon held an Ontario Men’s Attitudinal Survey on

Violence Against Women

The findings show that 94% of men in Ontario believe violence against

women and girls is a concern to them

87% think violence against women and girls affects all

women including the women in their life.

97% agree that they can personally make a difference in promoting healthy, respectful, non-violent

relationships

StrengthBased Approach

to Engaging Men

www.whiteribbon.ca

Strength Based Approach Example:

• Strength Campaign: Men respond better to being shown the “right” way to do things than being scolded about the “wrong” ways, start by locating and valuing what men are already doing right

• Focus on what is strong in men and not what is wrong with them, demonstrate positive examples of masculinity and promote gender equitable lifestyles, rather than highlight only the negative, violent or predatory behaviours of men

www.whiteribbon.ca

Engaging Boys and Men in Ending Violence Against

Women – A Life Cycle Approach

White Ribbon Campaign

University & College Students

Facilitators of WR ClubsMentors and role models

WRC campus & community organizers

Peer educators, engaged bystanders

High School Students (grades 9-12)

White Ribbon ClubsCommon Ground Conferences (with Boys &

Girls) Youth Education and Action KitPeer & Near Peer Educators

Elementary Students (grades 7-8)

Boys ConferencesYouth Education and Action Kit

Campaign in a Box

Adults

It Starts With You, Facilitators of WR Clubs Parents, teachers, mentors,

volunteers, community leaders & role models WRC community organizers & supporters Peer educators, engaged

bystanders

The WRC Lifecycle Approach – An Example

How to Be An Ally?

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera @HigherUnlearnin

You’re doing

it wrong…

Raising our

awareness

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Examine your own actions, attitudes

and behaviour

…

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

www.whiteribbon.ca

Being A Role Model

whiteribbon.ca

6 Things

Speaking in a Language of Consent

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

“Enthusiastic consent is integral for boys/men's understanding of what makes a healthy, equal relationship.”

Developing a Response to Sexual ViolenceA Resource Guide for Ontario’s Colleges and Universities

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Peer motivation is a powerful force for men.

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

“I Want To Say a Little Something That’s Long Overdue.

The Disrespect To Women Has Got To Be Through.

To All The Mothers and Sisters and the Wives and Friends,

I Want To Offer My Love and Respect To The End”

– Sureshot, Beastie Boys

How can you be what

you can’t see?

Why we need role models

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

Partnership with the Ontario Federation of Indian Friendship Centres

• A project to adapt our Strength poster series and Education Action Kit

• Cultural and language adaptations reflecting traditional aboriginal teachings

Role Models: Baldev Mutta & Brandon Hay

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership

to defy injustice and inspire change.

Are you a leader? A role model ?

http://barry-overstreet.com/are-you-a-born-leader/

When the

boys get together

Toxic Masculinity

Power

Male Privilege Racism

ClassismAblism

(Where do women fit in this pyramid?)

whiteribbon.ca

whiteribbon.ca

whiteribbon.ca

Fathers

Family Members

Educators

Coaches & Leaders

It Start With You: Digital stories

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.

Shifting the culture and climate

But I’m a good guy!Its not my fault, I am not abusive, what can I do?

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

www.whiteribbon.ca

Being part of a solution:

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.

People think that doing nothing DOES

nothing…Every person makes a difference…

What difference are you making?

What impact are you making?

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera #2013GCF

OPEN THE DOOR TO THE CONVERSATIONOpen the door to a continuous ongoing conversation. Boys have questions and it doesn't stop growing into adulthood. Open up pathways for conversation and consciousness

let’s become allies for a

change that affects us all.

Twitter @Starts_With_You

whiteribbon.ca

www.higherunlearning.com @HigherUnlearnin

There is help. No one deserves to live with violence.

Look for emergency or distress services in the front

of your local phone book

Keep the conversation going.

whiteribbon.ca

whiteribbon.ca@whiteribbon

itstartswithyou.ca@starts_with_you

higherunlearning.com

@higherunlearnin

jperera@whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera