Mary Ellen Bates BatesInfo.com Shirley Alldredge Memorial Lecture Feb. 27, 2014 Joyful (No, really!)...

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Mary Ellen BatesBatesInfo.com

Shirley Alldredge Memorial LectureFeb. 27, 2014

Joyful (No, really!) Negotiating

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@mebs

Slide deck at

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Deadhead Negotiating

What is negotiation?

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Negotiation ≠ confrontation

It’s not either/or

Assertive ≠ aggressive

Just show up!

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5 Myths of Negotiation

Negotiation is a power struggle

Compromise is weakness

You have to look out for #1

Never show your hand

You have to be shrewd and cunning

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Who is running your life?

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"You're the boss"

Let the external world drive you“I had no choice”“He makes me so mad”“I can't / I wish / if only...”“My boss never lets me...”“People take advantage of me”

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"I'm the boss of me"

Let the external world drive you

Own your power to affect your world

“I had no choice”“I didn't look at all the alternatives”

“He makes me so mad”“I'm choosing to react angrily”

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"I'm the boss of me"

“I can't / I wish / if only...”

“What do I need to do to accomplish...?”

“My boss never lets me...”

“I haven't yet negotiated with my boss about...”

“People take advantage of me”

“Thanks for asking; I can’t do that right now.” BatesInfo.com

Solve this mystery...

You planned to attend the 2014 SLA conference. A travel freeze happens. You get there anyway!

What happened?

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Negotiate from abundance

It’s never a zero-sum game

There’s always a larger pie

Shift from worst-case to best-case thinking

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Focus on results you both want

Interest-based rather than position-based discussion

Aim for what's ideal, not what you'll settle for

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Focus on now, not history

Current situation, not what got you there

Focus on the problem, not each other

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Ask more questions!

Do you know everything you need to know about the situation?

What else do you need to know?

How could you add more value?BatesInfo.com

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Know when you have leverage

When offered job or promotion“Hmmmm, the figure I was expecting was closer to $X. Could you walk me through how you arrived at $Y?”

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“No” isn’t always “NO”

“No" just means "give me a reason to say yes”

What else can you offer?

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What would you do?

You want to learn how to create webinars. Your boss says “absolutely not”.

What would you do?

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Be able to walk away

Never invest more than you can leave on the table

Listen to your gut

Stop caring about the outcome

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Check ego at the door

Mad? Scared? Feeling like a victim?

Deep breath. And another.

Give up prior history with counterpart

Take counterpart’s perspectiveMaybe they’re not ripping you off!

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De-fuse negotiation anxiety

Create situation to succeed“Can I have it for free?” doesn’t countHow can you solve counterpart’s

problem?

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It's business, not personal

...even when it’s personal!

You are your own best advocate.

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What would you do?

A staff member says, “I’m going to quit! I’m working too many hours!”

What would you do?

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Your assignment

In the next week, negotiate something

Did you survive the ordeal?

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Mary Ellen Bates

303.772.7095

mbates@BatesInfo.com

Web: BatesInfo.com

Twitter: @mebs

LinkedIn: maryellenbates