Marriage Traditions. What is American? »Few wedding traditions are truly American »America is a...

Marriage TraditionsMarriage Traditions

What is American?What is American?

» Few wedding traditions are truly American

» America is a nation of immigrants who brought their wedding traditions with them

» Most wedding traditions in America originated in Europe

» Few wedding traditions are truly American

» America is a nation of immigrants who brought their wedding traditions with them

» Most wedding traditions in America originated in Europe

Religious or Civil?Religious or Civil?

» weddings in America are either religious» takes place in a church or other

religious place» a priest, pastor or other religious

figure marries the couple» many churches require the couple to

have counseling before they are allowed to marry

» weddings in America are either religious» takes place in a church or other

religious place» a priest, pastor or other religious

figure marries the couple» many churches require the couple to

have counseling before they are allowed to marry

Religious or Civil?Religious or Civil?

» Civil ceremonies may take place at a courthouse

» An official of the state (not a person of faith) marries the couple

» Civil ceremonies may take place at a courthouse

» An official of the state (not a person of faith) marries the couple

Arranged Marriages?Arranged Marriages?

» Marriages in the US are never arranged

» Couples marry for love» not to strengthen family business or

influence

» Marriages in the US are never arranged

» Couples marry for love» not to strengthen family business or

influence

Marriage BlessingMarriage Blessing

» In the past, men have asked the father of the bride for permission (or blessing) to marry his daughter

» Many men do not do this today» they may ask as a courtesy

» In the past, men have asked the father of the bride for permission (or blessing) to marry his daughter

» Many men do not do this today» they may ask as a courtesy

Wedding PlanningWedding Planning

» Most brides in America want a big, elaborate wedding (if it is their first wedding)

» Often a bride will hire a professional wedding planner

» Most brides in America want a big, elaborate wedding (if it is their first wedding)

» Often a bride will hire a professional wedding planner

Weddings Cost…Weddings Cost…

» … a lot!» … a lot!

Weddings Cost…Weddings Cost…

» an average wedding cost betweens

$15,000 and $25,000

» an average wedding cost betweens

$15,000 and $25,000

This includes…This includes…» wedding gown and veil: $1,000 - $1,500» tuxedos» flowers» photography» videography» renting a church/place for ceremony» renting a place for reception» cake and food » favors for the guests» decorations

» wedding gown and veil: $1,000 - $1,500» tuxedos» flowers» photography» videography» renting a church/place for ceremony» renting a place for reception» cake and food » favors for the guests» decorations

This includes…This includes…» wedding rings» invitations» bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts» bands/DJs at ceremony» bands/DJs at reception» wedding cake topper and serving set» groom’s cake» toasting flutes» drinks» transportation» official’s fees» wedding license fees

» wedding rings» invitations» bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts» bands/DJs at ceremony» bands/DJs at reception» wedding cake topper and serving set» groom’s cake» toasting flutes» drinks» transportation» official’s fees» wedding license fees

Bride wears…Bride wears…

» White Dress » White Veil» “Something old, something new,

something borrowed, something blue and a lucky penny in her shoe.”

» White Dress » White Veil» “Something old, something new,

something borrowed, something blue and a lucky penny in her shoe.”

Groom wears…Groom wears…

» Tuxedo» Tuxedo

Important PeopleImportant People

» Maid of Honor» Bridesmaids

» Best Man» Groomsmen

» Mother of the Bride» Father of the Bride

» Maid of Honor» Bridesmaids

» Best Man» Groomsmen

» Mother of the Bride» Father of the Bride

Important PeopleImportant People

» Ushers» Greeters» Flower Girls» Ring Bearer» Other Relatives

» Ushers» Greeters» Flower Girls» Ring Bearer» Other Relatives

Prior to the WeddingPrior to the Wedding

» Wedding Showers» Bachelorette Party» Bachelor Party» Wedding Rehearsal » Rehearsal Dinner

» Wedding Showers» Bachelorette Party» Bachelor Party» Wedding Rehearsal » Rehearsal Dinner

Wedding ShowersWedding Showers

» The couple is “showered” with gifts» Traditionally thrown by the Maid of

Honor for the Bride» Today, many couples opt for

“couple showers” where both bride and groom are involved

» Gifts are registered for in advance

» The couple is “showered” with gifts» Traditionally thrown by the Maid of

Honor for the Bride» Today, many couples opt for

“couple showers” where both bride and groom are involved

» Gifts are registered for in advance

Bachelorette/Bachelor Party

Bachelorette/Bachelor Party

» Girls only and Guys only parties» Thrown for the Bride and Groom» Is a “last chance for fun” type of

party» Stereotype is that the party is for

drinking and strippers» Often that is not the case, however

» Girls only and Guys only parties» Thrown for the Bride and Groom» Is a “last chance for fun” type of

party» Stereotype is that the party is for

drinking and strippers» Often that is not the case, however

Wedding RehearsalWedding Rehearsal

» Everyone who is involved in the wedding (Bride, Groom, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, Flower Girls, Ushers, Family….) rehearse for the wedding

» Usually takes place the night before

» Everyone who is involved in the wedding (Bride, Groom, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, Flower Girls, Ushers, Family….) rehearse for the wedding

» Usually takes place the night before

Rehearsal DinnerRehearsal Dinner» Special time for the Bride and

Groom to thank the special people in their lives

» Time for friends and family to “toast” the Bride and Groom and share stories about the past

» Traditionally paid for by the Groom’s family (wedding paid for by the Bride’s family)

» Special time for the Bride and Groom to thank the special people in their lives

» Time for friends and family to “toast” the Bride and Groom and share stories about the past

» Traditionally paid for by the Groom’s family (wedding paid for by the Bride’s family)

Common Features of Western Weddings

Common Features of Western Weddings

» Candle Lighting (symbolizes two families coming together)

» Everyone stands when the Bride walks down the aisle

» There may be special music or Bible readings throughout the ceremony

» Couple might take Communion (if they are Christian)

» Candle Lighting (symbolizes two families coming together)

» Everyone stands when the Bride walks down the aisle

» There may be special music or Bible readings throughout the ceremony

» Couple might take Communion (if they are Christian)

Common Features of Western Weddings

Common Features of Western Weddings

» Officiator might speak for a while on marriage

» Bride and Groom exchange rings» Gold; Circle» symbol of their love and never-ending

union » Vows (promises) exchanged» Bride and Groom say “I do”

» Officiator might speak for a while on marriage

» Bride and Groom exchange rings» Gold; Circle» symbol of their love and never-ending

union » Vows (promises) exchanged» Bride and Groom say “I do”

Common Features of Western Weddings

Common Features of Western Weddings

» Officiator pronounces them “Man and Wife”

» Officiator says to the Groom “You may kiss the Bride”

» They kiss (everyone claps)» Bride and Groom walk down the

aisle» They offer flowers to mothers

» Officiator pronounces them “Man and Wife”

» Officiator says to the Groom “You may kiss the Bride”

» They kiss (everyone claps)» Bride and Groom walk down the

aisle» They offer flowers to mothers

After the ceremony…After the ceremony…

» Most guests attend a reception» Dinner or light snacks are served» Wedding cake is a traditional part

of the reception (Husband and Wife feed each other)

» Rice (or nowadays bird seed) is thrown at the couple as they depart to symbolize fertility

» Most guests attend a reception» Dinner or light snacks are served» Wedding cake is a traditional part

of the reception (Husband and Wife feed each other)

» Rice (or nowadays bird seed) is thrown at the couple as they depart to symbolize fertility

GiftsGifts

» Typically the Groom and his family are responsible for:» the Rehearsal Dinner» the Groom’s tuxedo» the rings» the honeymoon

» Typically the Groom and his family are responsible for:» the Rehearsal Dinner» the Groom’s tuxedo» the rings» the honeymoon

GiftsGifts

» Typically the Bride and her family are responsible for:» the wedding» the Bride’s attire

» Typically the Bride and her family are responsible for:» the wedding» the Bride’s attire

GiftsGifts

» Parents of the couple typically give the new couple gifts, but there is no rule as to what type of gift

» it may be as significant as a house or car

» or, as small as a microwave

» Parents of the couple typically give the new couple gifts, but there is no rule as to what type of gift

» it may be as significant as a house or car

» or, as small as a microwave

GiftsGifts

» Typically, everyone who receives an invitation to a wedding (whether they attend or not) should give the couple a gift

» Gifts are registered for in advance» Gifts help the couple set up their

new home

» Typically, everyone who receives an invitation to a wedding (whether they attend or not) should give the couple a gift

» Gifts are registered for in advance» Gifts help the couple set up their

new home

TraditionsTraditions

» Something Old: signifies that the Couple's friends will stay with them

» Something New: looks to the future for health, happiness and success

» Something Borrowed: is an opportunity for the Bride's family to give her something as a token of their love (it must be returned to ensure Good Luck)

» Something Old: signifies that the Couple's friends will stay with them

» Something New: looks to the future for health, happiness and success

» Something Borrowed: is an opportunity for the Bride's family to give her something as a token of their love (it must be returned to ensure Good Luck)

TraditionsTraditions

» Something Blue: is thought lucky because Blue represents fidelity and constancy

» And a penny in her shoe: to bring the couple wealth in their married life

» Something Blue: is thought lucky because Blue represents fidelity and constancy

» And a penny in her shoe: to bring the couple wealth in their married life

Garter and BouquetGarter and Bouquet

» Groom tosses the garter - the bachelor who catches it will be next to wed

» Bride tosses her bouquet of flowers - the bachelorette who catches it will be the next to wed

» Groom tosses the garter - the bachelor who catches it will be next to wed

» Bride tosses her bouquet of flowers - the bachelorette who catches it will be the next to wed

SuperstitionsSuperstitions

» White Dresses were made popular by Queen Victoria, who broke the tradition of royals marrying in Silver.

» Symbolizing purity and virginity, white was also thought to ward off evil spirits.

» a Bride should never practice signing her new name until it is legally hers

» the Groom should not see the Bride in her wedding dress until she walks down the aisle at the wedding

» White Dresses were made popular by Queen Victoria, who broke the tradition of royals marrying in Silver.

» Symbolizing purity and virginity, white was also thought to ward off evil spirits.

» a Bride should never practice signing her new name until it is legally hers

» the Groom should not see the Bride in her wedding dress until she walks down the aisle at the wedding

» Married in White, you have chosen right» Married in Grey, you will go far away,» Married in Black, you will wish yourself

back,» Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,» Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,» Married in Blue, you will always be true,» Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,» Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,» Married in Brown, you will live in the town,» Married in Pink, you spirit will sink.

» Married in White, you have chosen right» Married in Grey, you will go far away,» Married in Black, you will wish yourself

back,» Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,» Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,» Married in Blue, you will always be true,» Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,» Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,» Married in Brown, you will live in the town,» Married in Pink, you spirit will sink.