Leading with EI · Turn on the Pre-frontal Cortex Emotional Audit 1.What are you thinking? 2.What...

Leading with EmotionalIntelligence: Raising the

Team IQ with EQ

Relly Nadler

December 1, 2011

“Every leader we have workedwith has underestimated theirinfluence on others.” - True North

Consequences of this oversight are:1. Under performance of the leader2. Under performing teams

Do you agree, Yes or No?

Teamwork is an UnnaturalAct

Takes practice and disciplinePoorly facilitated team, Team IQ can godown 1-2 points for each person in group.High IQ people can be quite dumbed downif not well formed or facilitated!

You are Under the Spotlight

Where do you need to focusyour Spotlight?

Errors 1. Don’t realize you have a spotlight

2. Don’t realize that it is on 24/7

3. Use it in an undisciplined way, focusing on too many things

4. Focus your light on the WRONG things

5. Don’t focus on strengths ENOUGH

Wired to Connect - Emotionsare Contagious

• “You are the Emotional thermostatfor your team”• “Our emotions mold not just ourexperience but our biology.”• “Nourishing relationships benefitour health while toxic ones act like aslow poison to our health.”Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: TheNew Science of Human Relationships

The Brain

•Has 100 billion neurons•Each neuron connects to 5,000 to10,000 others

The Mind/LeaderIs an embodied and relational process thatregulates the flow of energy andinformation

SelfAwareness

SelfManagement

SocialAwareness

SocialSkills

Self Social

What is EmotionalIntelligence?

Personal & Social Competencies

Self-Awareness

SocialAwareness

Social SkillsSelf-Management

• Emotional Self-Awareness• Accurate Self-Assessment• Self-Confidence

• Empathy• Organizational

Awareness• Service Orientation

• Self-Control• Trustworthiness• Conscientiousness• Adaptability• Achievement Orientation• Optimism• Initiative

• Developing Others• Leadership• Influence• Communication• Change Catalyst• Conflict Management• Building Bonds• Teamwork &

Collaboration

Are you a Star or Average

Teamwork and CollaborationAverage• Cooperates• Expresses positive expectations• Solicits inputsStar• Encourages Others• Builds Team spirit

Are you a Star or Average?

TrustworthinessAverage• Acts consistently with valuesStar• Publicly admits mistakes• Acts on values in spite of pressure

to do otherwise

InitiativeAverage• Addresses current

opportunities• Ready to act• Makes extra effortStar• Initiates actions for the future

Are you a Star or Average?

EmpathyAverage

• Listens• Actively Listens• Reads non-verbals• Open to diversityStar Performer

• Sees others’ perspectiveand SAYS their perspective• Understands others

Are you Star or Average

Pete Carroll

Understanding Self Others

Managing Self

Others

“I get more out of you, if I connect with you.Instead of knocking you down…I’m going to

build you up.”

Brain’s Mirror Neurons

Executive Derailers

1. Lack of impulse control

2. Inability to work well on team

3. Difficulty in handling change4. Poor interpersonal relationships

Center for Creative Leadership

5. Arrogant – “Smartest Person”

Steve Jobs

Understanding Self Others

Managing Self

Others

The Power of Vision in spite of Derailers everpresent

Where Did My IQ Go?

Stress EQ IQ

What was I thinking?

Your Brain was hijacked!Now you have 10-15 less IQpoints for decision making.

The Hijack

Amygdala

PrefrontalCortex

Emotional Regulation Gone

Impulse Control is aLimited Capacity

Turn on the Pre-frontal Cortex

Emotional Audit

1.What are you thinking?2.What are you feeling?3.What do want to happen now?4.How are you getting in your ownway?5.What do you need do differentlynow?

Top Performing Teams

6:1 Positive to NegativeInteractions1:1 Questions & Advocacy1:1 Internal & External Focus

Nike: Ask Me 2 Questions

White Space Issues

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Negative signs indicate what gets filled in quickly by others. It is usually

inaccurate, judgmental & not giving you or the leader the benefit of the doubt.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Positive signs indicate what you say when you fill in the white spaceproactively with accurate and positive data, talking about opportunities

INTELLIGENCE = Entering through the lines

“If you are not sick and tired of saying the same thing overand over again, you are not saying it enough.”

“If you don’t tell you people what is going on they will thinknothing is going on.” Relly Nadler, Psy.D., 2003-9

Positive, Accurate & Constructive = Not

Resources

Leading with EI,Amazon, Barnes &

www.truenorthleadership.com

VoiceAmerica, weeklypodcasts in iTunes:

LeadershipDevelopment news

http://budurl.com/kfza

iPhoneApp

Relly Nadler, Psy.D.• Emotional Intelligence expert• Leadership Development• Executive Coaching• Executive Team Development806 683-1066Rnadler@truenorthleadership.com

GET FREE EI Leadership Assessment andSecrets Download at

www.truenorthleadership.com

Leading with EI · Turn on the Pre-frontal Cortex Emotional Audit 1.What are you thinking? 2.What...

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