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BrieffortheKansasLegislature
ParentalAlienation,EqualSharedParenting,andtheFamilyCourts
C.A.Childress,Psy.D.
1/27/18
Childrenarenotweapons.Parentsshouldneverusetheirchildrenasweaponsinthespousalconflictsurroundingdivorce.Childrenareneutralindivorce.
Yetcountlessdestructiveparentsdojustthat,usetheirchildrenasweaponsofrevengeinthespousalconflictsurroundingdivorce.Asaresult,childhoodsarebeingdestroyedandnormal-rangeandlovingparentsarelosingtheirsharedbondofaffectionwiththeirchildbecauseofthedestructiveandpathologicalparentingoftheotherspouse,whoisusingthechildasaweaponofrevengeinthedivorce.
Theweaponizationofchildrenbyadestructiveandpathologicalparentsurroundingdivorceisbeingaidedbyignoranceandincompetenceinprofessionalpsychologyindiagnosingandtreatingthefamilypathologysurroundingtheweaponizationofthechildindivorce,andbyfamilylawproceduresthatpromotefamilyconflictandrewardtheweaponizationofchildrenindivorce.Professionalpsychologyandthefamilycourtsshoulddisallowtheweaponizationofchildrenindivorce,butinsteadprofessionalpsychologyandthefamilycourtsallow,promote,andrewardtheweaponizationofchildrenindivorce.Childrenshouldneverbeusedasweaponsofspousalrevengeandretaliationindivorce.Allchildrenhavetherighttolovebothparents,andtoreceivetheloveofbothparentsinreturn.
Theattachment-relatedfamilypathologytraditionallycalled“parentalalienation”inthepopularculturerepresentsstandardfamilytherapyconstructsofthechild’striangulationintothespousalconflictthroughtheformationofacross-generationalcoalitionwithoneparentagainsttheotherparent(Haley,1977;Minuchin,1974)1thatresultsinanemotionalcutoffinthechild’srelationshipwiththetargetedparent(Bowen,1978;Titelman,2003).2Theseareallstandardandfullyestablishedconstructsinfamilysystemstherapy;triangulation,cross-generationalcoalition,emotionalcutoff.
ThisbriefdescribesthesymptomfeaturesofthefamilysystemspathologybasedontheestablishedworkofJohnBowlby,SalvadorMinuchin,JayHaley,AaronBeck,Theodore
1Minuchin,S.(1974).Familiesandfamilytherapy.HarvardUniversityPress.Haley,J.(1977).Towardatheoryofpathologicalsystems.InP.Watzlawick&J.Weakland(Eds.),Theinteractionalview(pp.31-48).NewYork:Norton.2Bowen,M.(1978).Familytherapyinclinicalpractice.NewYork:JasonAronson.Titelman,P.(2003).EmotionalcutoffinBowenfamilysystemstheory:AnOverview.InEmotionalcutoff:Bowenfamilysystemstheoryperspectives,P.Titelman(ed).NewYork:HaworthPress.
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Millon,andBesselvanderKolk.AmorecompletedescriptionofthepathologyiscontainedinthebookAnAttachment-BasedModelofParentalAlienation:Foundations.3
HealthyChildDevelopment
Familiescontainfourprimarytypesofparent-childrelationship;mother-son,mother-daughter,father-son,father-daughter.Eachoftheseprimaryparent-childrelationshiptypesisvitaltohealthychilddevelopment.Thebenefitstothechildfromeachoftheserelationshiptypesisuniquetothatrelationship,theyarenotreplaceableorinterchangeable,andeachconfersuniqueandvitaldevelopmentalexperiencesthatareimmenselyimportantforthechild’shealthyemotionalandpsychologicaldevelopment.Norelationshiptypeismoreimportantthantheother,andnoneoftheseprimaryrelationshiptypesisexpendable.
• Mother-sonbond:Thedeepemotionalandpsychologicalconnectionbetweenamalechildandhismotherispotentiallyoneofthemostaffectionateparent-childbondingtypes.Forthechild,astrong,positive,andhealthymother-sonbondcreatesadeepinnersenseofthechild’sinherentvalueasaperson,andthemother-sonbondformsthebasisforthechild’semotionalsecurity.Thequalityofthemother-sonbondalsoestablishesthetemplateofexpectations(the“internalworkingmodels”)forthelaterformationofthechild’sspousalrelationshipinmarriage.Themother-sonbondisnotanexpendablerelationship.
• Mother-daughterbond:Themother-daughterbondcanbeoneofthemostcomplexparent-childrelationshipsasthemotherpsychologicallyre-experiencesherselfandherownchildhoodinherdaughter’sdevelopment.Thedaughterdrawsimportantself-worthandgenderidentitymodelingfromapositiveandhealthymother-daughterbond,andthemother-daughterbondservesasthetemplateforthedaughter’sfutureroleasamotherforherownchildren.Daughtersbecomefuturemothers,andtherelationshiptemplateformedinthemother-daughterbondcarriesimportantimplicationsforthedaughter’sfutureparentingwithherownchildren.Themother-daughterbondisnotanexpendablerelationship.
• Father-sonbond:Theson’semotionalandpsychologicalbondwiththefatherprovidesessentialself-esteemandgenderidentitymodelingforthechild.Theson’shealthyemotionalandpsychologicalbondtohisfatherprovidesimportantcommunicationsofsupportfromthefatherfortheboy’ssenseofself-valueasanemergingyoungman,andtheson’sbondedrelationshipwithhisfatherprovidescriticalsupportforthechild’sdevelopmentofthematurity,whichleadstothechildenteringtheworldasanemotionallymatureandresponsibleyoungman.Thefather-sonbondisnotanexpendablerelationship.
• Father-daughterbond:Adaughter’srelationshipwithherfatherisoneofthemostaffectionallyimportantoftheparent-childrelationships.Thedaughterdevelopsthecorefoundationforherself-worthfromheraffectionallybondedrelationshipwithherfather(anaffectionalprocessexemplifiedbytheclassicfamily
3Childress,C.A.(2015).AnAttachment-BasedModelofParentalAlienation:Foundations.Claremont,CA:OaksongPress.
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rolesas“daddy’sprincess”and“daddy’slittlegirl”).Asaprimaryrelationshippattern,thefather-daughterrelationshipalsoservesasthetemplate(the“internalworkingmodel”)thatwillguidetheformationofherfuturespousalrelationshipwithherownhusbandduringmarriage.Thefather-daughterbondisnotanexpendablerelationship.
Eachoftheseprimaryrelationshiptypesisunique,andthespecialvaluethateachoftheserelationshiptypesconfertothechildisnotinterchangeablethroughthechild’srelationshipwiththeotherparent.Themother-sonrelationshipoffersaspeciallovingwarmthandrichnessinthechild’sdevelopmentthatisnotinterchangeablewiththevalueofferedtothesonbythemale-maleaffectionalbondhehaswithhisfather.Thefather’srelationshipwithhisdaughterissimilarlyfilledwithdeepwarmthandenrichinglove,anditisnotinterchangeablewiththerichcomplexityofloveinthemother-daughterbond.Thechildbenefitsfromeachoftheseuniquerelationshipswithinthefamily,andeachrelationshiptypemeritsthefullsupportofbothparents,treatmentproviders,andtheCourtinnourishingitsdevelopment.
Thereisnoscientificortheoreticalfoundationthatwouldallowforanopinionregardingtherelativebenefitsofa60-40%,70-30%,80-20%,or90-10%custodytime-shareinanyspecificsituation(exceptincasesofchildabuse).Therelationshipfactorsaretoocomplex,maturationalfactorsoftimeandcircumstancearetoovariable,andeachrelationshiptypeisequalinimportancetotheotherrelationshiptypes.Eachrelationshiptypeisuniqueinthevalueitconfers,theyarenotinterchangeable,andnoneofthemareexpendable.Theonlyscientificallyandtheoreticallysupportedopinionfromprofessionalpsychologywouldbeforashared50-50%custodytimeshareschedulethatrecognizesandsupportstheinherentvalueofeachtypeofparent-childrelationship.
Thereisnoscientificortheoreticalfoundationthatwouldjustifyfavoringonerelationshiptypebytruncatinganother.Theonlyscientificallyandtheoreticallysupportedpositionfromprofessionalpsychologywouldbefora50-50%custodytimeshare(exceptincasesofchildabuse),basedonthefoundationalprinciplethatchildrenbenefitfromacomplexrelationshipwithbothparents.Iffamilyconflictissuesdevelop,thenthisbecomesafamilytherapyissue,notachildcustodyissue.
FamilyTherapy:RepairingDamagedFamilies
Familysystemstherapyisoneofthefourprimaryschoolsofpsychotherapy:
• PsychoanalyticPsychotherapy:EmergedfromtheworkofSigmundFreuddevelopinginsightintodeepunconsciousmotivations.Psychoanalyticpsychotherapytakesanindividualfocustotherapy.
• Cognitive-BehavioralTherapy:Emergedfromlaboratoryexperimentswithanimalsonthelearningtheoryandbehaviorchangeprinciplesofrewardandpunishment.Cognitive-behavioraltherapy(CBT)takesanindividualfocustotherapy.
• Humanistic-ExistentialTherapy:Emergedfromphilosophicalrootsofexistentialism,personalgrowth,andself-actualization.Humanistic-existentialpsychotherapytakesanindividualfocustotherapy.
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• FamilySystemsTherapy:Describestheinterpersonalprocessesofbothhealthyandpathologicalfamilyrelationships.Familytherapyasaninterpersonalfocustotherapy.
Ofthefourprimaryschoolsofpsychotherapy,onlyfamilysystemstherapydealswithresolvingthecurrentinterpersonalrelationshipswithinfamilies.Alloftheothermodelsofpsychotherapyareindividuallyfocusedformsoftherapy.Familysystemstherapyisthereforetheappropriateconceptualframeworkforunderstandingandresolvingfamilyconflictandfamilypathology.
Divorceendsthemarriage,butnotthefamily.Withdivorce,thefamilystructureshiftsfromanintactfamilystructurethatwaspreviouslyunitedbythemarriage,toanewseparatedfamilystructurethatisnowunitedbythechildrenthroughthecontinuingbondsofsharedaffectionbetweenthechildrenandbothparents.
Familiesmustadapttovarioustransitionsoverthedevelopmentalcourseofthefamily.Acentraltenetoffamilysystemstherapyisthatwhenafamilyisunabletosuccessfullyadapttoatransition(suchasadivorceandthetransitiontoanewseparatedfamilystructure),symptomsemergewithinthefamily(oftenwiththechildren)tostabilizethefamily’smaladaptivefunctioning.Divorcerepresentsoneofthemostimpactfultransitionsthatanyfamilymustnavigate;thetransitionfromanintactfamilystructureunitedbythemarriagetoaseparatedfamilystructureunitedbythechildren.
Oneoftheprinciplefoundersoffamilysystemstherapy,MurrayBowen,referstothesymptomofonefamilymemberrejectinganotherfamilymemberasan“emotionalcutoff.”(Bowen,1978;Titelman,2003).4Withintheprinciplesoffamilysystemstherapy(oneoftheprincipleschoolsofpsychotherapyandtheapplicabletherapyapproachforresolvingcurrentfamilyconflicts),achild’srejectionofaparentfollowingdivorcerepresentsthesymptomofan“emotionalcutoff”thatistheproductofthefamily’sunsuccessfultransitionfromitspriorintactfamilystructureunitedbythemarriagetothenewseparatedfamilystructurefollowingdivorce,aseparatedfamilystructurethatisnowunitedbythechild’ssharedbondsofaffectionwithbothparents.
Withinthestandardandestablishedprinciplesoffamilysystemstherapy,thechild’srejectionofanormal-rangeparentsurroundingdivorcerepresentsthechild’s
4Bowen,M.(1978).Familytherapyinclinicalpractice.NewYork:JasonAronson.Titelman,P.(2003).Emotionalcutoff:Bowenfamilysystemstheoryperspectives.NewYork:TheHawthornPress,Inc.
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PathologicalCutoffFamilyStructure
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“triangulation”intothespousalconflictthroughtheformationofa“cross-generationalcoalition”ofthechildwiththealliedparent,thatresultsinan“emotionalcutoff”inthechild’srelationshipwiththetargeted-rejectedparent.
Triangulation
Akeyprincipleoffamilysystemstherapyisthatwhenconflictbetweenspousesbecomesexcessiveandnon-functional,athirdparty,typicallythechild,willbebroughtintotheinter-spousalconflicttohelpstablizethedysfunctioningspousalconflictandtheproblematicemotional-psychologicalprocessingofone(orboth)parents.Thisisreferredtoastriangulatingthechildintothespousalconflictbyturningthetwopersonspouse-spouseconflictintoathreepersonspouse-child-spouseconflict.Inthegeneralpopulationthisiscalled“puttingthechildinthemiddle”inthespousalconflict.
Triangulationinvolvestheformationofacoalitionbetweentwooftheparticipantsagainstthethirdperson.Therearetwopossibletypesofcoalitioncreatedintriangulation.Inthefirsttype,theparentsformacoalitionwitheachotheragainstthechild.Thistypeoftriangulationoccurswhentheintensityofthespousalconflictthreatensthemarriagewithdivorce.Thechildthendevelopssymptoms(behaviorproblems,ananxietydisorder,depression,substanceabuse,etc.)thatservetodistracttheparentsawayfromtheirownspousalconflictthroughtheirsharedconcernoverthechild’sbehaviorproblem.Thechild’ssymptomsacttobringtheparentstogetherandtherebysavetheirmarriagebydivertingthefocusofattentionawayfromthemaritalconflictandontothechild’sbehaviorproblems.
Inthesecondtypeoftriangulation,oneparentformsacross-generationalcoalitionwiththechildagainsttheotherparent.Thisformoftriangulationistypicallyahiddenpathologyinthefamily.Thechild’shostilityandrejectionofoneparent(thetargetedparent)isbeingsuperficiallyblamedonthebadparentingofthetargetedparent,buttheparent-childconflictisactuallytheproductofmanipulativepsychologicalinfluencebeingexercisedonthechildbythealliedandsupposedly“favored”parent.
Thepreeminentfamilysystemstherapist,JayHaley,providesadefinitionofthecross-generationalcoalition:
“Thepeoplerespondingtoeachotherinthetrianglearenotpeers,butoneofthemisofadifferentgenerationfromtheothertwo… Intheprocessoftheirinteractiontogether,thepersonofonegenerationformsacoalitionwiththepersonoftheothergenerationagainsthispeer.By‘coalition’ismeantaprocessofjointactionwhichisagainstthethirdperson… Thecoalitionbetweenthetwopersonsisdenied.Thatis,thereiscertainbehaviorwhichindicatesacoalitionwhich,whenitisqueried,willbedeniedasacoalition… Inessence,theperversetriangleisoneinwhichtheseparationofgenerationsisbreachedinacovertway.Whenthisoccursasarepetitivepattern,thesystemwillbepathological.”(Haley,1977,p.37)5
5Haley,J.(1977).Towardatheoryofpathologicalsystems.InP.Watzlawick&J.Weakland(Eds.),Theinteractionalview(pp.31-48).NewYork:Norton.
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Whenthechildistriangulatedintoacross-generationalcoalitionwithoneparentagainsttheotherparent,thechild’salliancewiththesupposedly“favored”parentisusedasaweaponintheinter-spousalconflictbymakingthechildaproxysurrogateforthealliedparent’sownspousalangertowardtheotherspouse/parent.Thealliedparentfirstmanipulatesthechildintoanallianceofsharedhostilitytowardtheotherparent(across-generationalcoalition),andthenhidestheirmanipulativeinfluenceonthechildbehindtherefrainof,
AlliedParent:“I’mjustlisteningtothechild.WhatcanIdo?Ican’tforcethechildtogetalongwiththeotherparent.”
FromJayHaley:“…acoalitionbetweenthetwopersonsisdenied.”
Thedisplayofselectiveparentincompetencebythealliedandsupposedly“favored”parentrelativetothechild’sbehaviorwiththeotherparentrepresentsasubtlebutclearcommunicationtothechildoftacitapprovalbythealliedparentforthechild’sconflictwiththeotherparent,anditisoneofseveralkeyindicatorsofacross-generationalcoalitionwithinthefamily.
Asecondkeyindicatorofacross-generationalcoalitioniscalledan“invertedfamilyhierarchy”inwhichthechildbecomesover-empoweredinthefamilystructuretoanelevatedpositionofjudgingtheadequacyofaparent.Innormal-rangeandhealthyfamilies,parentsoccupyapositionofexecutiveleadershipinthefamilyfromwhichparentsjudgetheirchildren’sbehaviorasappropriateorinappropriate,andtheparentsthendeliverconsequences(rewardsandpunishments)basedonparentaljudgementsofchildren’sbehavior.InStructuralfamilysystemstherapy(Minuchin,1974),6ahealthyfamilyhierarchyisrepresentedbyadiagraminwhichtheparentsaredepictedinanappropriatelyelevatedpositionofexecutiveleadershipinthefamilyhierarchy.
Inaninvertedfamilyhierarchy,however,thisnaturalandhealthyfamilystructureofparentalexecutiveleadershipisturnedupside-down,sothatthechildbecomesover-empoweredandfeelsentitledtojudgetheadequacyofthetargetedparent.Fromthiselevatedpositioninthefamilyhierarchy,thechildthenfeelsentitledtodeliverpunishmentstothetargetedparentbasedonthechild’sempoweredjudgementofparentaladequacy.Onpage42oftheirbook,FamilyHealing,7thepreeminentfamilysystemstherapistSalvadorMinuchinandhisco-authorMichaelNicholsprovideastructuralfamilydiagramfortheinvertedfamilyhierarchycreatedbyanover-involved(enmeshed)relationshipofafatherandthechildthatexcludesthemother.Thethreelinesbetweenthefatherandchildinthisdiagramindicatean“enmeshed”relationshipofpsychologicalover-
6Minuchin,S.(1974).Familiesandfamilytherapy.HarvardUniversityPress.7Minuchin.S.&Nichols,M.P.(1993).Familyhealing:Strategiesforhopeandunderstanding.NewYork:Touchstone.
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DiagramofHealthyFamilyHierarchy
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Structuraldiagramoftriangulation,cross-generationalcoalition,invertedhierarchy,enmeshment,andcutoff.
(Minuchin&Nichols,1993,p.42)
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involvement,andthechildhasreplacedthemotheratopthehierarchywiththefather,holdinganelevatedpositionwithhiminwhichtheyareentitledtojudgethemother.
Inthedescriptionforthecross-generationalcoalitionprovidedbyMinuchin,thestructuralfamilydiagramgraphicallyillustratesthatthecross-generationalcoalitionofthefatherwiththechildcreatesbothaninvertedfamilyhierarchyinwhichthechildiselevatedintoapositionofjudgementabovethemother,fromwhichthechildfeelsentitledtojudgetheadequacyofthemotherasaparent,andalsocreatesanemotionalcutoffinwhichthemotherisrejectedbytheallianceofthefatherandchild.
Inhisseminalbook,FamiliesandFamilyTherapy,Minuchinalsoprovidesaclinicaldescriptionoftheeffectsofacross-generationalcoalition,thistimeofacross-generationalcoalitionofamotherwithherchildrenagainstthefather:
“Aninappropriatelyrigidcross-generationalsubsystemofmotherandsonversusfatherappears,andtheboundaryaroundthiscoalitionofmotherandsonexcludesthefather.Across-generationaldysfunctionaltransactionalpatternhasdeveloped.”(Minuchin,1974,p.61-62)
“Theparentsweredivorcedsixmonthsearlierandthefatherisnowlivingalone… Twoofthechildrenwhowereveryattachedtotheirfather,nowrefuseanycontactwithhim.Theyoungerchildrenvisittheirfatherbutexpressgreatunhappinesswiththesituation.”(Minuchin,p.101)
Inacross-generationalcoalition,thechild’sover-empowermentinthefamilyhierarchyandconflictedrelationshipwiththetargetedparentistheproductofthechilddrawingcovertsupportandtacitapprovalforthechild’snegativejudgmentsofthetargetedparentfromthecoalitionthechildhaswiththealliedandsupposedly“favored”parent.Thishiddencovertsupportfromthealliedparentforthechild’sconflictwiththeotherparentisoftenevidencedbythealliedparentofferingdisplaysofrationalizingjustificationsandsupposedlysupportive“understanding”forthechild’sconflictswiththeotherparent.
PsychologicalControloftheChild
Themanipulativepsychologicalcontrolofthechildbyaparentisascientificallyestablishedfamilyrelationshippatternindysfunctionalfamilysystems.Inhisbookregardingparentalpsychologicalcontrolofchildren,IntrusiveParenting:HowPsychologicalControlAffectsChildrenandAdolescents,8publishedbytheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation,BrianBarberandhiscolleague,ElizabethHarmon,identifyover30empiricallyvalidatedscientificstudiesthathaveestablishedtheconstructofparentalpsychologicalcontrolofchildren(Appendix1).InChapter2ofIntrusiveParenting:HowPsychologicalControlAffectsChildrenandAdolescents,BarberandHarmondefinetheconstructofparentalpsychologicalcontrolofthechild:
8Barber,B.K.(Ed.)(2002).Intrusiveparenting:Howpsychologicalcontrolaffectschildrenandadolescents.Washington,DC:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation.
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“Psychologicalcontrolreferstoparentalbehaviorsthatareintrusiveandmanipulativeofchildren’sthoughts,feelings,andattachmenttoparents.Thesebehaviorsappeartobeassociatedwithdisturbancesinthepsychoemotionalboundariesbetweenthechildandparent,andhencewiththedevelopmentofanindependentsenseofselfandidentity.”(Barber&Harmon,2002,p.15)9
AccordingtoStone,Bueler,andBarber:
“Thecentralelementsofpsychologicalcontrolareintrusionintothechild’spsychologicalworldandself-definitionandparentalattemptstomanipulatethechild’sthoughtsandfeelingsthroughinvokingguilt,shame,andanxiety.Psychologicalcontrolisdistinguishedfrombehavioralcontrolinthattheparentattemptstocontrol,throughtheuseofcriticism,dominance,andanxietyorguiltinduction,theyouth’sthoughtsandfeelingsratherthantheyouth’sbehavior.”(Stone,Buehler,&Barber,2002,p.57)10
SoenensandVansteenkiste(2010)describethevariousmethodsusedtoachieveparentalpsychologicalcontrolofthechild:
“Psychologicalcontrolcanbeexpressedthroughavarietyofparentaltactics,including(a)guilt-induction,whichreferstotheuseofguiltinducingstrategiestopressurechildrentocomplywithaparentalrequest;(b)contingentloveorlovewithdrawal,whereparentsmaketheirattention,interest,care,andlovecontingentuponthechildren’sattainmentofparentalstandards;(c)instillinganxiety,whichreferstotheinductionofanxietytomakechildrencomplywithparentalrequests;and(d)invalidationofthechild’sperspective,whichpertainstoparentalconstrainingofthechild’sspontaneousexpressionofthoughtsandfeelings.”(Soenens&Vansteenkiste,2010,p.75)11
ResearchbyStone,Buehler,andBarberestablishesthelinkbetweenparentalpsychologicalcontrolofchildrenandmaritalconflict:
“Thisstudywasconductedusingtwodifferentsamplesofyouth.ThefirstsampleconsistedofyouthlivinginKnoxCounty,Tennessee.ThesecondsampleconsistedofyouthlivinginOgden,Utah.”(Stone,Buehler,&Barber,2002,p.62)
“Theanalysesrevealthatvariabilityinpsychologicalcontrolusedbyparentsisnotrandombutitislinkedtointerparentalconflict,particularlycovertconflict.Higherlevelsofcovertconflictinthemaritalrelationshipheightenthelikelihoodthat
9Barber,B.K.andHarmon,E.L.(2002).Violatingtheself:Parentingpsychologicalcontrolofchildrenandadolescents.InB.K.Barber(Ed.),Intrusiveparenting(pp.15-52).Washington,DC:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation.10Stone,G.,Buehler,C.,&Barber,B.K..(2002)Interparentalconflict,parentalpsychologicalcontrol,andyouthproblembehaviors.InB.K.Barber(Ed.),Intrusiveparenting:Howpsychologicalcontrolaffectschildrenandadolescents.Washington,DC:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation.
11Soenens,B.,&Vansteenkiste,M.(2010).Atheoreticalupgradeoftheconceptofparentalpsychologicalcontrol:Proposingnewinsightsonthebasisofself-determinationtheory.DevelopmentalReview,30,74–99.
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parentswouldusepsychologicalcontrolwiththeirchildren.”(Stone,Buehler,&Barber,2002,p.86)
Stone,Buehler,andBarberofferanexplanationfortheirfindingthatintrusiveparentalpsychologicalcontrolofchildrenisrelatedtohighinter-spousalconflict:
“Theconceptoftriangles“describesthewayanythreepeoplerelatetoeachotherandinvolveothersinemotionalissuesbetweenthem”(Bowen,1989,p.306).Intheanxiety-filledenvironmentofconflict,athirdpersonistriangulated,eithertemporarilyorpermanently,toeasetheanxiousfeelingsoftheconflictingpartners.Bydefault,thatthirdpersonisexposedtoananxiety-provokinganddisturbingatmosphere.Forexample,achildmightbecomethescapegoatorfocusofattention,therebytransferringthetensionfromthemaritaldyadtotheparent-childdyad.Unresolvedtensioninthemaritalrelationshipmightspillovertotheparent-childrelationshipthroughparents’useofpsychologicalcontrolasawayofsecuringandmaintainingastrongemotionalallianceandlevelofsupportfromthechild.Asaconsequence,thetriangulatedyouthmightfeelpressuredorobligedtolistentooragreewithoneparents’complaintsagainsttheother.Theresultingenmeshmentandcross-generationalcoalitionwouldexemplifyparents’useofpsychologicalcontroltocoerceandmaintainaparent-youthemotionalallianceagainsttheotherparent(Haley,1976;Minuchin,1974).”(Stone,Buehler,&Barber,2002,p.86-87)
Authenticvs.InauthenticParent-ChildConflict
Parent-childconflictcreatedbyacross-generationalcoalitionofthechildwithoneparentagainsttheotherparentisinauthenticbecausetheparent-childconflictisnotbeingcausedbytheactionsofthetargetedparent.Instead,thechild’sconflictswiththetargetedparentarebeingcreatedbythemanipulativeandhiddeninfluenceofthealliedandsupposedly“favored”parentonthechild’sattitudesandbehaviortowardtheotherparent,towardthetargetedparent.Inauthenticparent-childconflictcanbeidentifiedthroughaprincipleofbehavioralpsychologycalled“stimuluscontrol.”
Behavioriselicitedbyastimulus.Theprincipleofstimuluscontroloverbehaviorisbestunderstoodbyanalogytotrafficlightsanddrivingbehavior.Trafficlightsarethestimulusthatcontrolsourdrivingbehavior.Ifthelightisred,westop;whenthelightisgreen,wego.Ourdrivingbehavioriscontrolledbythestimulusofthetrafficlight.
Inauthenticparent-childconflict,thechild’sbehaviorisinresponsetotheparent’sbehavior;inotherwords,thechild’sbehaviorintheconflictisunderthestimuluscontroloftheparent’sbehavior.Thismeansthatifwechangetheparent’sbehavior(i.e.,thecolorofthetrafficlight),thenweshouldseeacorrespondingchangeinthechild’sbehavior.Ifwechangetheparent’sbehaviorbutthereisnocorrespondingchangeinthechild’sbehavior,thentheparent-childconflictisinauthentic;itisnotunderthestimuluscontroloftheparent’sbehavior.
Forexample,ifthesupposedcauseoftheparent-childconflictisthedegreeofparentalangerexpressedtowardthechild,ifwechangetheparent’sbehaviortoeliminateparentaldisplaysofangerandincreaseparentaldisplaysofaffectionatesupport,thenweshouldseecorrespondingchangesinthechild’sbehaviortowardincreasedchildaffection
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expressedtowardtheparent.Inthesecases,theparent-childconflictisanauthenticchildresponsetotheparentingpracticesoftheparentbecausethechild’sbehaviorisunderthestimuluscontroloftheparent’sbehavior;whenwechangetheparent’sbehavior(thestimulus)weseeacorrespondingchange(thecontrol)inthechild’sbehavior.
However,parent-childconflictthatiscreatedbyacross-generationalcoalitionofthechildwiththealliedandsupposedly“favored”parentagainstthetargeted-rejectedparentisinauthenticbecausethechild’sconflictwiththetargetedparentisnotbeingcausedbytheactionsofthetargetedparent.Instead,thechild’sbehaviortowardthetargetedparentisbeingcreatedbythesupportthisparent-childconflictreceivesfromthealliedandsupposedly“favored”parent.Therefore,thechild’sbehaviortowardthetargetedparentwillnotbeunderthestimuluscontrolofthetargetedparent’sbehavior.Whenthebehaviorofthetargetedparentchanges,wewillseenocorrespondingchangeinthechild’sbehavior.
Whentheparent-childconflictisbeingcreatedbyacross-generationalcoalition(i.e.,bythemanipulativeinfluenceofthealliedandsupposedly“favored”parent),thenitdoesn’tmatterwhatchangesaremadetotheparentingbehaviorofthetargetedparent,thechild’shostilityandrejectionofthisparentwillremainunchanged.Thisisbecausetheactualsourceforthestimuluscontrolofthechild’sconflictwiththetargetedparentisthecovertsupportandapprovaltheconflictreceivesfromthealliedandsupposedly“favored”parent.
Thebehavioralconstructofstimuluscontrolisaclearmethodologyfordeterminingtheauthenticityofparent-childconflict.Intheadditionalpresenceofadisplaybythealliedandsupposedlyfavoredparentofselectiveparentalincompetenceandaninvertedfamilyhierarchy,theabsenceofauthenticitytotheparent-childconflictevidencedbytheabsenceofstimuluscontrolforthechild’sbehaviorinresponsetochangesintheparent’sbehaviorrepresentsastrongsetofsymptomindicatorsforthechild’striangulationintothespousalconflictthroughtheformationofacross-generationalcoalitionofthechildwiththealliedandsupposedly“favored”parentagainsttheotherparent.
PathologicalMourning
Achildrejectingaparentisfundamentallyanattachment-relatedpathology.Theattachmentsystemisthebrainsystemresponsibleforgoverningallaspectsofloveandbondingthroughoutthelifespan,includinggriefandloss.TheattachmentsystemisaneurologicallyembeddedprimarymotivationalsystemofthebraindescribedbyJohnBowlbyinasetofthreevolumesonparent-childattachment,separation,andloss.12
Thepathologyofachildrejectingaparentsurroundingdivorcerepresentsaformofattachmentpathologycalled“pathologicalmourning.”
12 Bowlby,J.(1969).Attachmentandloss.Vol.1.Attachment.NY:BasicBooks.Bowlby,J.(1973).Attachmentandloss:Vol.2.Separation:Anxietyandanger.NY:BasicBooks.Bowlby,J.(1980).Attachmentandloss:Vol.3.Loss:Sadnessanddepression.NY:BasicBooks.
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“Thedeactivationofattachmentbehaviorisakeyfeatureofcertaincommonvariantsofpathologicalmourning.”(Bowlby,1980,p.70)
Thesourceofthepathologicalmourningfollowingthedivorceisthealliedparent,whohasformedacross-generationalcoalitionwiththechildagainsttheotherparent.Thealliedparentthentransfersthisparent’sowndisorderedmorningofthedivorcetothechild’sreactionbymanipulatingandinfluencingthechildthroughpsychologicalcontrolofthechild’sattitudesandbeliefsaboutthedivorceandtheotherparent.Itisthepathologicalmourningofthealliedparentsurroundingthedivorcethatispreventingthefamily’stransitiontoahealthyseparatedfamilystructure,andisinsteadcreatingthecutoffinthechild’srelationshipwiththeotherparentthroughtheformationofacross-generationalcoalitionofthechildandalliedparentagainstthetargeted-rejectedparent.
Bowlbyidentifiesthepathologicalmourningoftheadultasbeingcausedbypersonalitydisorderpathology:
“Disturbancesofpersonality,whichincludeabiastorespondtolosswithdisorderedmourning,areseenastheoutcomeofoneormoredeviationsindevelopmentthatcanoriginateorgrowworseduringanyoftheyearsofinfancy,childhoodandadolescence.”(Bowlby,1980,p.217)
Aleadingfigureinpersonalitydisorderpathology,OttoKernberg,describeshowthecharacterformationofthenarcissisticpersonalityisunabletoprocess“sadnessandmournfullonging,”andinsteadtranslatesthesefeelingsinto“angerandresentment,loadedwithrevengefulwishes”(Kernberg,1977,p.229):13
“They[narcissists]areespeciallydeficientingenuinefeelingsofsadnessandmournfullonging;theirincapacityforexperiencingdepressivereactionsisabasicfeatureoftheirpersonalities.Whenabandonedordisappointedbyotherpeopletheymayshowwhatonthesurfacelookslikedepression,butwhichonfurtherexaminationemergesasangerandresentment,loadedwithrevengefulwishes,ratherthanrealsadnessforthelossofapersonwhomtheyappreciated.”(p.229)
Inresponsetothedivorce,thenarcissisticparentwilltranslatetheirsadnessandhurtinto“pathologicalmourning”of“angerandresentment,loadedwithrevengefulwishes”towardtheotherspouse,andwillthenmanipulatethechildintoasharedhostilitytowardtheotherparentasaweaponofrevengetowardtheotherspouse;thecross-generationalcoalitiondescribedbyMinuchinandHaley.
ProfessionalCompetence
Childrenandfamiliesevidencingattachment-relatedpathologysurroundingdivorcerepresentaspecialpopulationrequiringspecializedprofessionalknowledgeandexpertisetocompetentlyassess,diagnose,andtreat.Mentalhealthprofessionalsworkingwithattachment-relatedpathologysurroundingdivorceneedtopossessaprofessionallevelknowledgeinthefollowingdomainsofprofessionalpsychology:
13 Kernberg,O.F.(1975).Borderlineconditionsandpathologicalnarcissism.NewYork:Aronson.
12
• TheAttachmentSystem
• FamilySystemsTherapy
• PersonalityDisorderPathology
• ComplexTrauma
Failuretopossesstherequiredprofessionalknowledgeandexpertiseinthesedomainsofprofessionalpsychologywouldlikelyrepresentpracticebeyondtheboundariesofcompetenceinviolationofprofessionalstandardsofpractice.
AssessmentofAttachment-RelatedPathology
Attachment-relatedpathologyisalwayscreatedbypathogenicparenting(patho=pathology;genic=genesis,creation).Pathogenicparentingisthecreationofsignificantpsychopathologyinthechildthroughaberrantanddistortedparentingpractices.Theconstructofpathogenicparentingisanestablishedconstructinbothdevelopmentalandclinicalpsychologyandismostoftenusedregardingattachment-relatedpathologysincetheattachmentsystemneverspontaneouslydysfunctions,butONLYbecomesdysfunctionalinresponsetopathogenicparenting.
Thediagnosticissueinassessingpathogenicparentingiswhichparentiscreatingthechild’sattachment-relatedpathology;isitthetargeted-rejectedparentthroughabusiveparentingpractices(suchasphysicalorsexualabuseofthechild),orisitthealliedandsupposedly“favored”parentthroughtheformationofacross-generationalcoalitionwiththechildagainsttheotherparent(aBowlby-Minuchin-Beckmodeldefining“parentalalienation”)?
TheassessmentofattachmentrelatedpathologyshouldaddressthisspecificdifferentialdiagnosisusingtheParentingPracticesRatingScale(Appendix2)todocumentthepotentialofabusiveparentingpracticesbythetargeted-rejectedparentandtheDiagnosticChecklistforPathogenicParenting(Appendix3)todocumentthechildsymptomscreatedbyacross-generationalcoalitionwithanalliednarcissistic/(borderline)personalityparent(aBowlby-Minuchin-Beckmodelofattachment-based“parentalalienation”;AB-PA).AstructuredandstandardizedassessmentprotocolusingtheParentingPracticesRatingScaleandDiagnosticChecklistforPathogenicParentingisdescribedinthebooklet,AssessmentofAttachment-RelatedPathologySurroundingDivorce(Childress,2017).14
Inallcasesofattachment-relatedpathologysurroundingdivorce,theCourtshouldseekastructuredandfocusedassessmentforpathogenicparenting,withdocumentationoftheassessmentfindingsusingtheParentingPracticesRatingScaleandtheDiagnosticChecklistforPathogenicParenting,withthedatafromthesedocumentationinstrumentsavailabletotheCourtforreview.
14Childress,C.A.(2017).Assessmentofattachment-relatedpathologysurroundingdivorce.Claremont,CA:OaksongPress.
13
DiagnosisofAB-PA
Thepathologyofacross-generationalcoalitionwithanarcissistic/(borderline)parentcreatingthechild’srejectionoftheotherparentrevealsitselfinasetofthreediagnosticindicators(Childress,2015):15
1. AttachmentSystemSuppression:Thesuppressionofthechild’sattachmentbondingmotivationstowardanormal-rangeandaffectionallyavailableparent.
2. PersonalityDisorderTraits:Thechild’ssymptomsevidencefivespecificnarcissisticpersonalitytraitsacquiredfromthecross-generationalcoalitionwithanarcissisticparent.
3. EncapsulatedPersecutoryDelusion:Thechildevidencesafixedandfalsebelief(anencapsulateddelusion)inthechild’ssupposed“victimization”bythenormal-rangeparentingofthetargetedparent(apersecutorydelusion),acquiredfromthebeliefsystemandmanipulativeparentingofthealliednarcissistic/(borderline)personalityparentthroughthecross-generationalcoalitionwiththisparent.
NootherpathologyotherthanaBowlby-Minuchin-BeckmodelofAB-PA(anattachment-baseddefinitionof“parentalalienation”)willcreatethisspecificsetofthreesymptomsinthechild’ssymptomdisplay.Thepresenceofthesethreesymptomsinthechild’ssymptomdisplayrepresentsdefinitivediagnosticevidenceforthepathologyofAB-PA(asdefinedthroughaBowlby-Minuchin-Beckattachment-basedmodelof“parentalalienation”).
Pathogenicparentingthatiscreatingsignificantdevelopmentalpathologyinthechild(diagnosticindicator1),personalitydisorderpathologyinthechild(diagnosticindicator2),anddelusional-psychiatricpathologyinthechild(diagnosticindicator3)isaDSM-5diagnosisofV995.51ChildPsychologicalAbuse,Confirmed.ThepathogenicparentingofAB-PA(attachment-based“parentalalienation”)becomesachildprotectionissue.
TreatmentResponsetoAB-PA
Afoundationalprincipleofclinicalpsychologyisthatassessmentleadstodiagnosis,anddiagnosisguidestreatment.AconfirmedDSM-5diagnosisofV995.51ChildPsychologicalAbusebecomesachildprotectionissue.Inallcasesofchildabuse,physicalchildabuse,sexualchildabuse,andpsychologicalchildabuse,thestandardofprofessionalpracticeand“dutytoprotect”requiresthechild’sprotectiveseparationfromtheabusiveparent.
Inallcasesofchildabuse,thechildisthentreatedforthedamagingeffectsofthepriorabusiveparentingandthechild’shealthynormal-rangedevelopmentisrestored.Oncethechild’shealthydevelopmenthasbeenrecovered,thechild’srelationshipwiththeformerlyabusiveparentisreintroducedwithsufficientsafeguardstoensurethattheabusiveparentingdoesnotresumeoncetherelationshipwiththeformerlyabusiveparent 15Childress,C.A.(2015).Anattachment-basedmodelofparentalalienation:Foundations.Claremont,CA:OaksongPress.
14
isreestablished.Typically,duringtheperiodofthechild’sprotectiveseparationfromtheabusiveparent,thisparentisrequiredtoreceivecollateralindividualtherapytogainanddemonstrateinsightintothecausesofthepriorabusiveparentingandimpulsecontrolovertheabusiveparentingpractices.Thisistheprofessionalstandardofpracticeforallcasesofchildabuse.
ContingentVisitationSchedule
Withregardtotheattachment-relatedpathologyofAB-PA,aStrategicfamilysystemstherapyinterventionisavailabletoaddressthecross-generationalcoalitionwiththealliednarcissisticparentthatiscreatingthechild’sattachment-relatedpathologywiththetargetedparent.Therearetwoprimarymodelsoffamilysystemstherapy,Structuralfamilysystemstherapy(principletheorist:SalvadorMinuchin)andStrategicfamilysystemstherapy(principletheorist:JayHaley).InStrategicfamilysystemstherapythesymptomconferspowerwithinthefamily.Strategicfamilysystemstherapyseekstoidentifyhowthesymptomisconferringpowerandthentodevelopaprescriptiveinterventiondesignedtoalterhowthesymptomconferspowerwithinthefamily.
Inthecross-generationalcoalitionofAB-PA,thechild’srejectionofthetargetedparentconferspowertothealliednarcissistic/(borderline)parenttonullifycourtordersforsharedcustodyandvisitationandtoinflictsufferingontothetargeted-rejectedparentinrevengeforthedivorce.TheStrategicfamilysystemsinterventionoftheContingentVisitationSchedule(Childress,2017)16isdesignedtoeliminateandreversethispowerdynamiccreatedbythechild’ssymptoms.
WithaContingentVisitationSchedule,therecommendedcustodyisashared50-50%custodyvisitationschedulebasedonthefoundationalprinciplethatchildrenbenefitfromacomplexrelationshipwithbothparents.Aslongasthechildremainssymptom-free,thisshared50-50%custodyvisitationscheduleismaintained.However,ifthechildbecomessymptomatic(asdefinedthroughtheprogram’sprotocolusingdailychildbehaviorratings)thentimewiththealliedparentisreduced(asdefinedwithintheprogram’sprotocol)inordertolimitthepathogenicinfluenceofthisparentincreatingthechild’ssymptoms,andtimewiththetargetedparentisincreased(inasystematicwaydefinedthroughtheprogram’sprotocol)inordertoallowadditionaltimewiththetargetedparentneededtorestorethehealthyparent-childrelationshipthatwasdamagedbythepathogenicparentingofthealliedparent.
Insteadofthechild’ssymptomsnullifyingthecustodyvisitationtimeofthetargetedparent,anincreaseinchildsymptomsactuallyprovidesadditionalcustodytimetothetargetedparentwhilereducingthecustodyvisitationtimeofthealliedparentwhoiscreatingthechild’ssymptoms.Thischangeinthecustodyvisitationtimeisatreatmentresponsetodocumentedincreasesinchildsymptoms,basedonthepriorassessmentthatthechild’ssymptomsarebeingcreatedbythepathogenicparentingofthealliedparentinacross-generationalcoalitionwiththechildagainstthetargetedparent.ThetreatmentresponseofaContingentVisitationSchedulealsoreducestherevengemotivationofthe
16Childress,C.A.(2017).StrategicfamilysystemsinterventionforAB-PA:ContingentVisitationSchedule.Claremont,CA:OaksongPress.
15
alliednarcissistic/(borderline)parentby“rewarding”thetargetedparentwithincreasedvisitationtimeinresponsetothechild’ssymptomaticbehavior.
AnimportantfeatureoftheContingentVisitationScheduleisthatitremovesthechildfromthe“loyaltyconflict”createdbythealliednarcissistic/(borderline)parent.WithoutaContingentVisitationSchedule,thechildisrequiredbythepsychologicallymanipulativeandcontrollingparentingpracticesofthealliedparenttodemonstrate“loyalty”totheircoalitionbyrejectingthetargetedparent.WithaContingentVisitationSchedule,however,thechildisallowedtonowshow“loyalty”tothealliedparent(i.e.,seekingtimewiththealliedparent)bybondingtothetargetedparent,sincerejectingthetargetedparentreducesthechild’stimewiththealliedparent.Inadditiontoalteringthepowerdynamicwithinthefamilysurroundingthechild’ssymptoms,removingthechildfromthe“loyalty”conflictisaprincipleStrategicfamilysystemstreatmentgoaloftheContingentVisitationSchedule.
Asix-monthtrialwiththeContingentVisitationSchedulecanbeusedasaResponse-to-Intervention(RTI)familytherapyapproachpriortoaprotectiveseparationperiodfromthepsychologicallyabusiveparentingofthealliednarcissistic/(borderline)parent,oritcanbeincorporatedintothefamilyfollowingaprotectiveseparationperiodwhenthepathogenicparentingofthepsychologicallyabusivealliedparentisreintroduced.
BestInterestsoftheChild
Itisalwaysinthebestinterestsofthechildforthefamilytomakeasuccessfultransitiontoahealthyseparatedfamilystructurefollowingdivorce,afamilyunitedbythechild’ssharedbondsofaffectionwithbothparents.Acutofffamilystructureisalwayspathological.
Parentsshouldneverusetheirchildasaweaponinthespousalconflictsurroundingdivorce.Childrenarenotweapons.
Childrenhavethefundamentalrighttolovebothparents,andtoreceivetheloveofbothparentsinreturn.Parent-childconflictisafamilytherapyissue,notachildcustodyissue(exceptincasesofchildabuse).
Professionalpsychologythefamilycourtsystemshouldsupportthefamily’ssuccessfultransitiontoahealthyseparatedfamilyunitedbythesharedbondsofaffectionbetweenthechildandbothparents,becausethatisinthechild’sbestinterests.A50-50%sharedparentingtime-shareschedulesupportsthevalueofeachtypeofparent-childrelationship;father-son,father-daughter,mother-son,mother-daughter.Eachisunique,eachisessentialtohealthychilddevelopment,andnoneisexpendable.
16
Appendix1:ResearchStudiesonParentalPsychologicalControloftheChildIdentifiedbyBarber&Harmon(2002)
17
Table2-1:OverviewofStudiesMeasuringPsychologicalControl(p.29-32)
From:Barber,B.K.(Ed.)(2002).Intrusiveparenting:Howpsychologicalcontrolaffectschildrenandadolescents.Washington,DC:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation.
Teleki,J.K.,Powell,J.A.,&Claypool,P.L.(1984).Parentalchildrearingbehaviorperceivedbyparentsandschool-agechildrenindivorcedandmarriedfamilies.HomeEconomicsResearchJournal,13,41-51
Livotsky,V.G.,&Dusek,J.B.(1985).Perceptionsofchildrearingandself-conceptdevelopmentduringtheearlyadolescentyears.JournalofYouthandAdolescence,14,373-387.
Steinberg,L.,Elmen,J.D.,&Mounts,N.S.(1989).Authoritativeparenting,psychosocialmaturity,andacademicsuccessamongadolescents.ChildDevelopment,60,1424-1436.
Eastburg,M.,&Johnson,W.B.,(1990).Shynessandperceptionsofparentalbehavior.PsychologicalReports,66,915-921.
Fauber,R.,Forehand,R.,Thomas,A.M.,&Weirson,M.(1990).Amediationalmodeloftheimpactofmaritalconflictonadolescentadjustmentinintactanddivorcedfamilies:Theroleofdisruptedparenting.ChildDevelopment,61,1112-1123.
Barber,B.K.,&Shagle,S.C.(1992).Adolescentproblembehavior.AsocialecologicalAnalysis.FamilyPerspective,26,493-515.
Lyon,J.M.,Henggeler,S.,&Hall,J.A.,(1992).Thefamilyrelations,peerrelations,andcriminalactivitiesofCaucasianandHispanic-Americangangmembers.JournalofAbnormalChildPsychology,20,439-449.
Forhand,R.,&Nousiainen,S.(1993).Maternalandparentalparenting:Criticaldimensionstoadolescentfunctioning.JournalofFamilyPsychology,7,213-221.
Shulman,S.,Collins,W.A.,&Dital,M.(1993).Parent-childrelationshipsandpeer-perceivedcompetenceduringmiddlechildhoodandpreadolescenceinIsrael.JournalofEarlyAdolescence,13,204-218.
Barber,B.K.,Olsen,J.A.,&Shagel,S.(1994).Associationsbetweenparentalpsychologicalcontrolandbehaviorcontrolandyouthinternalizedandexternalizedbehaviors.ChildDevelopment,65,1120-1136.
Bronstein,P.(1994).Patternsofparent-childinteractioninMexicanfamilies:Across-culturalperspective.InternationalJournalofBehavioralDevelopment,17,423-446.
Comstock,D.C.(1994).Parentalcontrolandgender-specificetiologyofinternalizedandexternalizedadolescentdeviance.Master’sthesis,DepartmentofSociology,BrighamYoungUniversity,Provo,Utah.
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Imbimbo,P.V.(1995).Sexdifferencesintheidentityformationofcollegestudentsfromdivorcedfamilies.JournalofYouthandAdolescence,24,745-761.
BarberB.K.(1996).Parentalpsychologicalcontrol:Revisitinganeglectedconstruct.ChildDevelopment,67,3296-3319.
Barber,B.K.,&Olsen,J.A.(1997).Socializationincontext:Connection,regulation,andautonomyinthefamily,school,andneighborhood,andwithpeers.JournalofAdolsescentResearch,12,287-315
Bogenschneider,K.,Small,S.A.,&Tsay,J.C.(1997).Child,parent,andcontextualinfluencesonperceivedparentingcompetenceamongparentsofadolescents.JournalofMarriageandtheFamily,59,345-362.
Conger,K.J.,Conger,R.D.,&Scaramella,L.V.(1997).Parents,siblings,psychologicalcontrol,andadolescentadjustment.JournalofAdolescentResearch,12,113-138.
Garber,J.,Robinson,N.S.,&Valentiner,D.(1997).Therelationbetweenparentingandadolescentdepression:Self-worthasamediator.JournalofAdolescentResearch,1212-33.
Jensen,B.S.(1997).Familyinteractionandadolescentfemaleeatingdisorders:Ananalysisoffamily,marital,andparent-childlevelcorrelates.Master’sthesis,DepartmentofSociology,BrighamYoungUniversity,Provo,Utah.
Litchfield,A.W.,Thomas,D.L.,&Li,B.D.(1997).Dimensionsofreligiosityasmediatorsoftherelationsbetweenparentingandadolescentdeviantbehavior.JournalofAdolescentResearch,12,199-226.
Bean,R.A.(1998).Academicgrades,delinquency,anddepressionamongethnicallydiverseyouth:Theinfluencesofparentalsupport,behavioralcontrol,andpsychologicalcontrol.Doctoraldissertation,BrighamYoungUniversity,Provo,Utah.
Hart,C.H.,Nelson,D.A.,Robinson,C.C.,Olsen,S.F.,&McNeilly-Choque,M.K.,(1998).OvertandrelationalaggressioninRussiannursery-school-agechildren:Parentingstyleandmaritallinkages.DevelopmentalPsychology,34,687-697.
Knowlton,S.S.(1998).Connection,regulation,andautonomy:Acomparisonofnonclinicaladolescentsandadolescentsinresidentialtreatment.Master’sthesis,DepartmentofFamilySciences,BrighamYoungUniversity,Provo,Utah.
Mills,R.S.L.,&Rubin,K.H.(1998).Arebehaviouralandpsychologicalcontrolbothdifferentiallyassociatedwithchildhoodaggressionandsocialwithdrawal?CanadianJournalofBehaviouralSciences,30,132-136
Wells,M.E.W.(1998).Psychologicalcontrolandinternalizingandexternalizingbehaviorinearlychildhood.Master’sthesis,BrighamYoungUniversity,Provo,Utah.
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Barber,B.K.(1999).Politicalviolence,familyrelations,andPalestinianyouthfunctioning.JournalofAdolescentResearch,14,206-230.
Pettit,G.S.,Laird,R.D.,Dodge,K.A.,bates,J.E.,&Criss,M.M.(2001).Antecedentsandbehavior-problemoutcomesofparentalmonitoringandpsychologicalcontrol.ChildDevelopment,72,583-598.
Rodgers,K.B.(1999).Parentingprocessesrelatedtosexualrisk-takingbehaviorsofadolescentmalesandfemales.JournalofMarriageandtheFamily,61,99-109.
Morris,A.S.,Steinberg,F.M.,Sessa,S.A.,Silk,J.S.,&Essex,M.(2002)Measuringchildren’sperceptionsofpsychologicalcontrol:Developmentalandconceptualconsiderations..InB.K.Barber(Ed.),Intrusiveparenting:Howpsychologicalcontrolaffectschildrenandadolescents.Washington,DC:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation.
Nelson,D.A.,&Crick,N.R.(2002).Parentalpsychologicalcontrol:Implicationsforchildhoodphysicalandrelationalaggression.InB.K.Barber(Ed.),Intrusiveparenting:Howpsychologicalcontrolaffectschildrenandadolescents.Washington,DC:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation.
Olsen,S.F.,Yang,C.,Hart,C.H.,Robinson,C.C.,Wu,P.,Nelson,D.A.,Nelson,L.J.,Jin,S.,&Wo,J.(2002).Maternalpsychologicalcontrolandpreschoolchildren’sbehavioraloutcomesinChina,Russia,andtheUnitedStates.InB.K.Barber(Ed.),Intrusiveparenting:Howpsychologicalcontrolaffectschildrenandadolescents.Washington,DC:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation.
Pettit,G.S.,&Laird,R.D.(2002).Psychologicalcontrolandmonitoringinearlyadolescence:Theroleofparentalinvolvementandearlierchildadjustment.InB.K.Barber(Ed.),Intrusiveparenting:Howpsychologicalcontrolaffectschildrenandadolescents.Washington,DC:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation.
Holmbeck,G.N.,Shapera,W.E.,&Hommeyer,J.S.(2002).Observedandperceivedparentingbehaviorsandpsychosocialadjustmentinpreadolescentswithspinabifida.InB.K.Barber(Ed.),Intrusiveparenting:Howpsychologicalcontrolaffectschildrenandadolescents.Washington,DC:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation.
Stone,G.,Buehler,C.,&Barber,B.K..(2002)Interparentalconflict,parentalpsychologicalcontrol,andyouthproblembehaviors.InB.K.Barber(Ed.),Intrusiveparenting:Howpsychologicalcontrolaffectschildrenandadolescents.Washington,DC:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation.
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Table2-2:OverviewofStudiesUsingConstructsSimilartoPsychologicalControl(p.29-32)
From:Barber,B.K.(Ed.)(2002).Intrusiveparenting:Howpsychologicalcontrolaffectschildrenandadolescents.Washington,DC:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation.
Hauser,S.T.,Powers,S.I.Noam,G.,Jacobson,A.,Weiss,B.,&Follansbee,D.(1984).Familialcontextsofadolescentegodevelopment.ChildDevelopment,55,195-213.
Crockenberg,S.,&Litman,C.(1990).Autonomyascompetencein2-year-olds:Maternalcorrelatesofchilddefiance,complianceandself-assertion.DevelopmentalPsychology,26,961-971.
Allen,J.P.,Hauser,S.T.,Eickholt,C.,Bell,K.L.,&O’Connor,T.G.(1994).Autonomyandrelatednessinfamilyinteractionsaspredictorsofexpressionsofnegativeadolescentaffect.JournalofResearchonAdolescence,4,535-552.
Baumrind,D.(1991).Theinfluenceofparentingstyleonadolescentcompetenceandsubstanceuse.JournalofEarlyAdolescence,11,56-95.
Campbell,S.B.,March,C.L.,Pierce,W.W.,&Szumowkski,E.K.(1991).Hard-to-managepreschoolboys:Familycontextandthestabilityofexternalizingbehavior.JournalofAbnormalChildPsychology,19,301-318.
Steinberg,L.,&Darling,N.E.,(1994).Thebroadercontextofsocialinfluenceinadolescence.InR.K.Silbereisen&E.Todt(Eds.),Adolescenceincontext:Theinterplayoffamily,school,peers,andworkadjustment.NewYork:SpringerVerlag.
Kurdek,L.A.,&Fine,M.A.,(1993).Therelationbetweenfamilystructureandyoungadolescents’appraisalsoffamilyclimateandparentingbehavior.JournalofFamilyIssues,14,279-290.
Steinberg,L.,&Darling,N.E.,(1994).ThebroadercontextofsocialinfluenceinadolescenceInR.K.Silbereisen&E.Todt(Eds.)Adolescenceincontext:Theinterplayoffamily,school,peers,andworkadjustment.NewYork:SpringerVerlag.
Nielsen,D.M.,&Metha,A.(1994).Parentalbehaviorandadolescentself-esteeminclinicalandnon-clinicalsamples.Adolescence,29,525-542.
Kurdek,L.A.,Fine,M.A.,&Sinclair,R.J.(1995).Schooladjustmentinsixthgraders:Parentingtransitions,familyclimate,andpeernormeffects.ChildDevelopment,66,430-445.
Barber,B.K.,&Buehler,C.(1996).Familycohesionandenmeshment:Differentconstructs,differenteffects.JournalofMarriageandtheFamily,58,433-441.
Mason,C.A.,Cauce,A.M.,Gonzales,N.,&Hiraga,Y.(1996).Neithertoosweetnortoosour:Problempeers,maternalcontrol,andproblembehaviorsinAfricanAmericanadolescents.ChildDevelopment,67,2215-2130.
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Yau,J.,&Smetana,J.G.(1996).Adolescent-parentconflictamongChineseadolescentsinHongKong.ChildDevelopment,67,1262-1275.
Best,K.M.,Hauser,S.T.,&Allen,J.P.(1997).Predictingyoungadultcompetencies:Adolescenteraparentandindividualinfluences.JournalofAdolescentResearch,12,90-112.
Dobkin,P.L.,Tremblay,R.E.,&Sacchitelle,C.(1997).Predictingboys’early-onsetsubstanceabusefromfather’salcoholism,son’sdisruptiveness,andmother’sparentingbehavior.JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology,65,86-92.
Eccles,J.S.,Early,D.,Frasier,K.,Belansky,E.,&McCarthy,K.(1997).Therelationofconnection,regulation,andsupportforautonomytoadolescents’functioning.JournalofAdolescentResearch,12,263-286.
Gondoli,D.M.,&Silverberg,S.B.(1997).Maternalemotionaldistressanddiminishedresponsiveness:themediatingroleofparentingefficacyandparentalperspectivetakingDevelopmentalPsychology,33,861-868.
Herman,M.R.,Dornbusch,S.M.,Herron,M.C.,&Herting,J.R.(1997).Theinfluenceoffamilyregulation,connection,andpsychologicalautonomyonsixmeasuresofadolescentfunctioning.JournalofAdolescentResearch,12,34-67.
Gray,M.R.,&Steinberg,L.(1999).Unpackingauthoritativeparenting:Reassessingamultidimensionalconstruct.JournalofMarriageandFamilyTherapy.
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Appendix2:ParentingPracticesRatingScale
23
ParentingPracticesRatingScaleC.AChildress,Psy.D.(2016)
NameofParent: Date:
NameofRater: Indicateallthatapply.ChildAbuseRatings:Donotindicatechildabuseispresentunlessallegationshavebeenconfirmed.Incasesofabuseallegationsthathaveneitherbeenconfirmednordisconfirmed,orthatareunfounded,useAllegationsubheadingratingnotCategoryrating.Level1:ChildAbuseo 1. SexualAbuse
Asdefinedbylegalstatute. o Allegation:Neitherconfirmednordisconfirmed o Allegation:Unfoundedo 2. PhysicalAbuse
Hittingthechildwithaclosedfist;strikingthechildwithanopenhandoraclosedfistaroundtheheadorshoulders;strikingthechildwithsufficientforcetoleavebruises;strikingthechildwithanyinstrument(weapon)suchaskitchenutensils,paddles,straps,belts,orcords.
o Allegation:Neitherconfirmednordisconfirmed o Allegation:Unfoundedo 3. EmotionalAbuse
Frequentverbaldegradationofthechildasapersoninahostileanddemeaningtone;frequenthumiliationofthechild.
o Allegation:Neitherconfirmednordisconfirmed o Allegation:Unfoundedo 4. PsychologicalAbuse
Pathogenicparentingthatcreatessignificantpsychologicalordevelopmentalpathologyinthechildinordertomeettheemotionalandpsychologicalneedsoftheparent,includingarole-reversaluseofthechildasaregulatoryobjectfortheparent’semotionalandpsychologicalneeds.
o Allegation:Neitherconfirmednordisconfirmed o Allegation:Unfoundedo 5. Neglect
Failuretoprovideforthechild’sbasicneedsforfood,shelter,safety,andgeneralcare.
o Allegation:Neitherconfirmednordisconfirmed o Allegation:Unfounded
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o 6. DomesticViolenceExposureRepeatedtraumaticexposureofthechildtooneparent’sviolentphysicalassaultstowardtheotherparentortotherepeatedemotionaldegradation(emotionalabuse)oftheotherparent.
o Allegation:Neitherconfirmednordisconfirmed o Allegation:Unfounded
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Level2:SeverelyProblematicParentingo 7. OverlyStrictDiscipline
Parentaldisciplinepracticesthatareexcessivelyharshandover-controlling,suchasinflictingseverephysicaldiscomfortonthechildthroughtheuseofstresspostures,usingshamingtechniques,orconfiningthechildinanenclosedareaforexcessivelylongperiods(roomtime-outsarenotoverlystrictdiscipline).
o 8. OverlyHostileParentingFrequentdisplays(moredaysthannot)ofexcessiveparentalanger(a6oraboveona10-pointsubjectivescale).
o 9. OverlyDisengagedParentingRepeatedfailuretoprovideparentalsupervisionand/orage-appropriatelimitsonthechild’sbehaviorandactivities;parentalmajordepressionorsubstanceabuseproblems.
o 10. OverlyInvolved-IntrusiveParentingEnmeshed,over-intrusive,and/orover-anxiousparentingthatviolatesthepsychologicalself-integrityofthechild;role-reversaluseofthechildasaregulatoryobjectfortheparent’sanxietyornarcissisticneeds.
o 11. FamilyContextofHighInter-SpousalConflictRepeatedexposureofthechildtohighinter-spousalconflictthatincludesexcessivedisplaysofinter-spousalanger.
Level3:ProblematicParentingo 12. HarshDiscipline
Excessiveuseofstrictdisciplinepracticesinthecontextoflimiteddisplaysofparentalaffection;limiteduseofparentalpraise,encouragement,andexpressionsofappreciation.
o 13. High-AngerParentingChronicparentalirritabilityandangerandminimalexpressionsofparentalaffection.
o 14. UninvolvedParentingDisinterestedlackofinvolvementwiththechild;emotionallydisengagedparenting;parentaldepression.
o 15. AnxiousorOver-InvolvedParentingIntrusiveparentingthatdoesnotrespectinterpersonalboundaries.
o 16. OverwhelmedParentingTheparentisoverwhelmedbythedegreeofchildemotional-behavioralproblemsandcannotdevelopaneffectiveresponsetothechild’semotional-behavioralissues.
o 17. FamilyContextofElevatedInter-SpousalConflictChronicchildexposuretomoderate-levelinter-spousalconflictandangerorintermittentexplosiveepisodesofhighlyangryinter-spousalconflict(intermittentspousalconflictsinvolvingmoderateangerthataresuccessfullyresolvedarenormal-rangeandarenotelevatedinter-spousalconflict).
Level4:PositiveParentingo 18. AffectionateInvolvement– Structured Spectrum
Parentingincludesfrequentdisplaysofparentalaffectionandclearlystructuredrulesandexpectationsforthechild’sbehavior.Appropriatediscipline(lossofprivilegesordesiredobjects,orappropriateuseoftime-out)followsfromclearlydefinedandappropriaterules.
26
o 19. AffectionateInvolvement– Dialogue Spectrum Parentingincludesfrequentdisplaysofparentalaffectionandflexiblynegotiatedrulesandexpectationsforthechild’sbehavior.Parentingemphasizesdialogue,negotiation,andflexibility.
o 20. AffectionateInvolvement– Balanced Parentingincludesfrequentdisplaysofparentalaffectionandparentingblendsclearlydefinedandstructuredruleswithflexiblenegotiationattimes.Parentingeffectivelybalancesstructureddisciplinewithflexibleparent-childdialogue.
PermissivetoAuthoritarianDimensionRating:
0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100AbusiveNeglect:
Extremelydisengagedandneglectfulparenting
ßNormalRangeParentingà
HostileAbuse:Extremelyhostileverballyand
physicallyabusiveparenting
PermissiveParenting
FlexibleDialogueSpectrum
StructuredDisciplineSpectrum
AuthoritarianParenting
BalancedParenting
CapacityforAuthenticEmpathyRating:
1 2 3 4 5Rigidlyself-absorbedperspective;unabletode-center;absenceofempathy
Tendstoberigidlyself-absorbed;
difficultyinde-centeringandtakingthe
perspectiveofothers
Self-reflective;abletode-centerfrompersonal
perspectivetotakethe
perspectivesofothers
Tendstobeover-involved;diffusionofpsychologicalboundariesbetweenself-experienceand
child’sexperience
Enmeshedlossofpsychologicalboundaries;projective
identificationofself-experienceontothechild
NarcissisticSpectrum DevelopmentallyHealthy
RangeEmpathy BorderlineSpectrum
ParentalIssuesofClinicalConcern(CC)o CC
1:Parentalschizophreniaspectrumissues
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Stabilizedonmedication? oYesoNooVariable
o CC2:
Parentalbipolarspectrumissues
Stabilizedonmedication? oYesoNooVariable
o CC3:
Parentalmajordepressionspectrumissues(includingsuicidality)
Stabilizedbytreatment? oYesoNooVariableo CC
4:Parentalsubstanceabuseissues
Treatedandinremission(1yr)? oYesoNooVariable
o CC5:
Parentalnarcissisticorborderlinepersonalitydisordertraits
Intreatment? oYesoNooVariableo CC
6:Parentalhistoryoftrauma
Treatedorintreatment? oYesoNooVariable
Appendix3:DiagnosticChecklistforPathogenicParenting
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DiagnosticChecklistforPathogenicParenting:ExtendedVersion
C.A.Childress,Psy.D.(2015/2017)Allthreeofthediagnosticindicatorsmustbepresent(either2aOR2b)foraclinicaldiagnosisofattachment-based“parentalalienation.”Sub-thresholdclinicalpresentationscanbefurtherevaluatedusinga“ResponsetoIntervention”trial.
1.AttachmentSystemSuppression
PresentSub-
Threshold
AbsentThechild’ssymptomsevidenceaselectiveandtargetedsuppressionofthenormal-rangefunctioningofthechild’sattachmentbondingmotivationstowardoneparent,thetargeted-rejectedparent,inwhichthechildseekstoentirelyterminatearelationshipwiththisparent(i.e.,achild-initiatedcutoffinthechild’srelationshipwithanormal-rangeandaffectionallyavailableparent).
☐ ☐ ☐
SecondaryCriterion:Normal-RangeParenting: yes no Theparentingpracticesofthetargeted-rejectedparentareassessedtobe
broadlynormal-range,withdueconsiderationgiventothewidespectrumofacceptableparentingthatistypicallydisplayedinnormal-rangefamilies.Normal-rangeparentingincludesthelegitimateexerciseofparentalprerogativesinestablishingdesiredfamilyvaluesthroughparentalexpectationsfordesiredchildbehaviorandnormal-rangedisciplinepractices.
☐ ☐
2(a).PersonalityDisorderTraits
PresentSub-
Threshold
Absent
☐ ☐ ☐ Thechild’ssymptomsevidenceallfiveofthefollowingnarcissistic/(borderline)personalitydisorderfeaturesdisplayedtowardthetargeted-rejectedparent.
Sub-CriterionMet yes no ☐
☐
Grandiosity:Thechilddisplaysagrandioseperceptionofoccupyinganinappropriatelyelevatedstatusinthefamilyhierarchythatisabovethetargeted-rejectedparentfromwhichthechildfeelsempoweredtositinjudgmentofthetargeted-rejectedparentasbothaparentandasaperson.
☐ ☐ AbsenceofEmpathy:Thechilddisplaysacompleteabsenceofempathyfortheemotionalpainbeinginflictedonthetargeted-rejectedparentbythechild’shostilityandrejectionofthisparent.
☐ ☐ Entitlement:Thechilddisplaysanover-empoweredsenseofentitlementinwhichthechildexpectsthathisorherdesireswillbemetbythetargeted-rejectedparenttothechild’ssatisfaction,andiftherejectedparentfailstomeetthechild’sentitledexpectationstothechild’ssatisfactionthenthechildfeelsentitledtoenactaretaliatorypunishmentontherejectedparentforthechild’sjudgmentofparentalfailures
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☐ ☐ HaughtyandArrogantAttitude:Thechilddisplaysanattitudeofhaughtyarroganceandcontemptuousdisdainforthetargeted-rejectedparent.
☐ ☐ Splitting:Thechildevidencespolarizedextremesofattitudetowardtheparents,inwhichthesupposedly“favored”parentisidealizedastheall-goodandnurturingparentwhiletherejectedparentisentirelydevaluedastheall-badandentirelyinadequateparent.
2(b).PhobicAnxietyTowardaParent
Present
Sub-Threshol
dAbsent
☐ ☐ ☐ Thechild’ssymptomsevidenceanextremeandexcessiveanxietytowardthetargeted-rejectedparentthatmeetsthefollowingDSM-5diagnosticcriteriaforaspecificphobia:
CriterionMet
yes no ☐
☐
PersistentUnwarrantedFear:Thechilddisplaysapersistentandunwarrantedfearofthetargeted-rejectedparentthatiscuedeitherbythepresenceofthetargetedparentorinanticipationofbeinginthepresenceofthetargetedparent
☐ ☐ SevereAnxietyResponse:Thepresenceofthetargeted-rejectedparentalmostinvariablyprovokesananxietyresponsewhichcanreachthelevelsofasituationallyprovokedpanicattack.
☐ ☐ AvoidanceofParent:Thechildseekstoavoidexposuretothetargetedparentduetothesituationallyprovokedanxietyorelseenduresthepresenceofthetargetedparentwithgreatdistress.
3.FixedFalseBelief
Present
Sub-Threshol
dAbsent
☐ ☐ ☐ Thechild’ssymptomsdisplayanintransigentlyheld,fixedandfalsebeliefmaintaineddespitecontraryevidence(adelusion)regardingthechild’ssupposed“victimization”bythenormal-rangeparentingofthetargeted-rejectedparent(anencapsulatedpersecutorydelusion).Thechild’sbeliefscarrytheimplicationthatthenormal-rangeparentingofthetargeted-rejectedparentaresomehow“abusive”towardthechild.Theparentingpracticesofthetargeted-rejectedparentareassessedtobebroadlynormal-range.
DSM-5Diagnosis
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Ifthethreediagnosticindicatorsofattachment-based“parentalalienation”arepresentinthechild’ssymptomdisplay(either2aor2b),theappropriateDSM-5diagnosisis:
DSM-5Diagnosis
309.4AdjustmentDisorderwithmixeddisturbanceofemotionsandconduct
V61.20Parent-ChildRelationalProblem
V61.29ChildAffectedbyParentalRelationshipDistress
V995.51ChildPsychologicalAbuse,Confirmed(pathogenicparenting)
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ChecklistofAssociatedClinicalSigns(ACS)
evident notevident
☐ ☐ ACS1:UseoftheWord“Forced”☐ ☐ ACS2:EnhancingChildEmpowermenttoRejecttheOtherParent
evident notevident
☐ ☐ “Childshoulddecideonvisitation” ☐ ☐ “Listentothechild” ☐ ☐ Advocatingforchildtestimony
☐ ☐ ACS3:TheExclusionDemand☐ ☐ ACS4:ParentalReplacement☐ ☐ ACS5:TheUnforgivableEvent☐ ☐ ACS6:Liar–“Fake”☐ ☐ ACS7:ThemesforRejection
evident notevident
☐ ☐ TooControlling
☐ ☐ Angermanagement
☐ ☐Targetedparentdoesn’ttakeresponsibility/apologize
☐ ☐ Newromanticrelationshipneglectsthechild
☐ ☐ Priorneglectofthechildbytheparent
☐ ☐ Vaguepersonhoodofthetargetedparent
☐ ☐ Non-forgivablegrudge ☐ ☐ Notfeedingthechild
☐ ☐ ACS8:UnwarrantedUseoftheWord“Abuse”☐ ☐ ACS9:ExcessiveTexting,PhoneCalls,andEmails☐ ☐ ACS10:Role-ReversalUseoftheChild(“It’snotme,it’sthechildwho…”)☐ ☐ ACS11:TargetedParent“Deserves”tobeRejected☐ ☐ ACS12:AlliedParentDisregardsCourtOrdersandCourtAuthority
evident notevident
☐ ☐ Childdisregardofcourtordersforcustody ☐ ☐ Childrunawaybehaviorfromthetargetedparent
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