It’s Got to be More than “NO” and More than “WAIT”…

It’s Got to be More It’s Got to be More than “NO” and More than “NO” and More

than “WAIT”…than “WAIT”…

Equipping Parents to Tackle Sexual Equipping Parents to Tackle Sexual Purity at All AgesPurity at All Ages

www.TruthInMarriage.orgwww.TruthInMarriage.org

Corry and Jennifer CraineCorry and Jennifer Crainejccraine@bellsouth.netjccraine@bellsouth.net

Part 2Part 2

Teaching our ChildrenTeaching our Children

10 Elements of Training1. Pray2. Build a Holy Vision3. Do what you Say4. Educate yourself5. Start Early6. Be deliberate and continuous7. Establish cause and effect8. Admit your own mistakes9. Develop an atmosphere of acceptance and

forgiveness10. Monitor

PrayWhy is it that we only cry out to God when everything is falling apart?

Why not instead start with God?

Pray for protection of your children, wisdom, patience, and strength

PrayProverbs 1:7 - The fear of the Lord is

the beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Build a Holy VisionIf you want your children to stay Pure, you have to give them a vision of something worth having.Sex is the Gift and Covenant Seal for MarriageWe honor sex ultimate so that we may honor God

Build a Holy Vision

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your

strength.’ This is the first commandment. - Mark 12:30

Build a Holy Vision

For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His

commandments are not burdensome. - 1 John 5:3

Build a Holy Vision

Did you know your sexuality belongs to your spouse, NOT YOU!

Your children need to know that if they engage in pre-marital sex, they are stealing from their future spouse!

Build a Holy Vision

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body,

but the wife does. – 1 Corinthians 7:4

Build a Holy Vision

If it’s not all about God, then by default, it will all be about YOU.

Educate Yourself

If you don’t know God’s answers to the how and why of sex, how will you ever make a convincing argument against the World view with your children?

You’ll never know God’s Ways unless you are in His Word.

Educate Yourself

You don’t have to be a bible scholar, you just have to do a little research.

God’s commandments are simple and straight forward

You don’t have to do this on your own. Get help. There is plenty to be had, you just have to ask for it.

Educate Yourself

Who here can give me a functional definition of Sexual Purity?

Sexual Purity is obtaining sexual gratification (visually, mentally, or physically) from no one other that

one’s spouse.

Educate Yourself

Can anyone give me a simple test to know if you are acting impure?

If you wouldn’t do it to your parent or sibling, then you shouldn’t be doing it to anyone other than your spouse!

Do what you SayChildren can spot a hypocrite from a mile away.

Much more is “Caught” than is ever “Taught”.

What you truly believe is what you do, not what you say.

Do what you SayWhen you are not around, your children will do what they see you do, not what you say to do.

What are you teaching them through:– Movies - Books– Music - Comments– TV - Wandering eyes– Magazines - The way you dress

Start EarlyIf you don’t teach your kids about sex, the World definitely will.Make sure they get the story from you first!Child experts say age appropriate conversations should start around age 6.By age 9, they should have a very basic concept of sex and a well reinforced reverence for their bodies and marriage.By age 12, basic mechanics and an abhorrence for immorality.

Be deliberate and continuousIf you were to start a business, you would have Goals and Objectives, Action Plans and Check-and-Adjusts.How much more valuable is the Salvation and Joy of our children?Why would you not do the same thing when it comes to their education in Righteousness?

Be deliberate and continuous

“The Talk” should never exist. Instead, it spans over their entire life.Consider the challenges of their age and be proactive“Use what would you do if…” conversations often.Take advantage of every opportunity that comes along by chance also.

Establish Cause and EffectEverything we do has consequences – good and bad.Help them see the consequences of sin in advance of them committing it.The development of cause and effect is much slower in boys than girls.

Establish Cause and Effect

If we understood the FULL consequences of our sins before

hand, how many people do you think would commit them??

Admit your OWN mistakes

You will never gain the open trust of your children if you peer down at them from a platform of self-righteousness.They need to see that you are human too.They need to be able to know you speak from a voice of experience.They need to see the first-hand pain of your bad decisions.

Admit your OWN mistakes

If you cannot humble yourself before your children, you will never be able

to humble yourself before God either!

Develop an atmosphere of acceptance and forgiveness

If you don’t create an environment that encourages the asking of

difficult questions, they will ask someone else….

Most likely, their peers!

Develop an atmosphere of acceptance and forgiveness

If the lion’s share of discussions you have with them revolve around how God hates sin, then they will grow to

hide their sin from you.

They need to know what sin is, and more importantly then need to know

what Grace and Forgiveness is.

Develop an atmosphere of acceptance and forgiveness

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

- Romans 3:23 (NKJV)

“Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “Though your sins are like

scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They

shall be as wool.- Isaiah 1:18

Monitor

Your children have no RIGHT to privacy, only modesty.

This includes their:– Phone calls - Rooms– Text messages - Video Games– Emails - Reading Material– Mail - Or anything else

MonitorGod calls you to be a parent, so…

BE THE PARENT!

Be the parent now so that you can be a friend when they are adults.If your focus is being a friend now, you will most likely loose them for the remainder of their lives.

Monitor

Unaware, uninvolved parents are doomed to raise troubled children.

Questions&

Discussion