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Society
Traditional Tibetan society is a hierarchical society. Until the
Chinese occupation, the society in Tibet continued to be
organized on a hierarchical order, based on the two principal
spheres, the ecclesiastical and the secular. The secular sphere of
Tibetan social life used to be detennined on the basis of
government posts and property, i.e., land.
Tibetan social structure may be said to have contained just three
broad social classes: the nobility, i.e. the landed aristocracy,
which also held high government offices, the common people and
the clergy. Of course, there were gradations and sub-divisions
within each of these three classes.
Social mobility in traditional Tibetan society was always
possible. A Tibetan can scale the social ladder by enhancing his
personal virtues, such as moral character, intellectual eminence
and religious devotion. Status was also derived from religio
political standing, wealth and family background. Charisma was
also valued, because through it the individual automatical1y
enhanced his position in the society. Those who were accepted as
the reincarnations of the Buddha, Boddhisattvas or other high
lamas or saints were placed very high on the social ladder.
19
According to the Tibetan observers traditional Tibetan society
comprised of 95 per cent commoners and five per cent upper
class, including hereditary nobles. The upper class was
constituted of the members of the hereditary noble families. It has
been estimated that there were about 150 noble families in Tibet
The noble families comprised both hereditary and non-hereditary
types. There was always a provision for new additions over time,
but once this status was attained it generally became hereditary.
Tradition also sanctioned the up-grading of the Dalai Lama's and '
the Panchen Lama's families. Social status could be enhanced by
receiving grants of land as state recognition to the national heroes
and also to the meritorious persons. All these provided
opportunities for climbing up on the hierarchical scale. In
relatively recent years recruitment of people for the high
government jobs was done on the basis of merit. In this way also
through merit a person enjoyed both material benefit and an
exalted position in the hierarchy.
The civil servants thus recruited, however, had to get themselves
initially enrolled as members of the three leading monasteries
(Ganden, Drepung and Sera) of the Gelug sect, which are situated
in the neighbourhood of Lhasa. This clearly shows that the
ecclesiastical arm of the state provided the main avenue for the
commoner to ascent the dizzy heights of nobility.
20
There was no distinct middle class as the feudatories themselves
constituted the bureaucracy, and other professions were taken care
of by the monastic order. Even large-scale trade was in the hands
of the nobility, the state, the monasteries and the foreign traders.
Thus, except for a few resourceful merchants coming from the
well-to-do plebeian families, there was practically no middle
class.
Social Institutions
The study of social change can not ignore the crucial importance
of family as a part of social structure and marriage, one of the
most important social institution. Family, an universal element of
social structure, is also the foundation of a society. The traditional
Tibetan cosmology revolves around three fundamental
obligations, to gods, to priests and to ancestors. His life is devoted
to them and in his life time he is obliged to please them through
devotion, worship and rituals and through founding family and
raising children. This is something necessary to get salvation from
the cycle of birth and dea~ something very close to the
traditional Hindu religious philosophy of "dharma".
Whatever scanty literature on the subject is available shows that
the three main forms, viz. monogamy, polygamy and polya1_1dry
THESIS 362.870954 J334 Ti
21 1111111111111111111111111 TH6922
were practiced in Tibet in a mixed form. Generally in regard to all
the three forms, pecuruary security was an important
consideration behind marital ties.
The institution of polyandry helped the Tibetans to limit birth-rate
and thus to keep the population stationary. It has had a salutary
effect in keeping living conditions on a higher level than in India
or China. Despite the fact that land is poor and unproductive there
is enough food for all; and even though life on the high plateau is
hard and austere there is serenity and contentment pervading the
life of the individual and the community.
The type of polyandry practiced in Tibet was mostly fraternal
polyandry, brothers sharing the same wife with the marriage
having been formally solemnized with the eldest brother. Another
interpretation is the economic advantage of polyandry to the
Tibetans. It can be the desire to transmit an estate undivided,
instead of dividing it among several male heirs.
""· Discussing the system of polyandry as prevalent in Tibet Rahul
Sankrityayan, the noted Indian Tibetologist, has pointed out that .)'
due to sharing of the same wife by all the brothers, population in
Tibet did not increase and there was never any population
explosion. Further he also mentions that in case there were no
sons and only daughters in the family, the son-in-law became the
heir-apparent, and his children kept the family name alive. From
22
his personal observation he cited the case of a particular Tibetan
village where there were sixteen families, and due to the
prevailing custom of polyandry the population of the village
remained stationary for years together. Even the property of the
families, which was never divided for generations, got
accumulated with the passage oftime.6
The Tibetan system of reckoning of descent could now be taken
up. The Tibetan families, as stated before, were patrilineal and
patri-local. The mode of knowing and identifying children among
Tibetans might sound peculiar, but in the polyandrous families it
was almost the same as in the similar societies on the Indian side
of the border. All the children from any polyandrous marriage in
the formal sense belonged to the eldest brother. As Dawa Norbu
puts it, "As for the paternity of the children a few resourceful
wives could remember who the father was as long as it was one of
the brothers. Usually the child called he eldest man 'Father' and
the rest 'Uncles' ."7
There might have been some minor variations of this at the infor
mal level, such as children being apportioned in the order of their
birth according to seniority in age of the husbands' and if the
offspring outstripped the number of husbands, the same procedure
was applied in rounds. It was also the most important spouse who
6 Sanskrityayana. Rahul, :\feri Jeevan Yatra, Kitab ~al, Allahabad. 1953, p.14. 7 Norbu, Daw~ Red Star over Tibet, Collins St. James Place, London, 1974, p.98.
23
might in some cases be given the honour of being called the father
of all the children of a polyandrous marriage. This applied in
those cases where the husbands were not real brothers. Thus title
status might also determine the importance of a particular
individual in a co-fathership system.
Marriage rituals in the Tibetan society, as almost everywhere else,
had the core importance when a marriage was solemnized. It did
not matter whether it was a polyandrous marriage or a polyga
mous marriage; the fact was that the ritualistic side of the nuptial
was always given due importance. Tibetan marriages were
arranged mostly by the parents of the bride and the bridegroom
and the initiative usually came from the groom's parents or elders.
However, the role of the mediator or the go-between was equally
important. The mediator was a man known to both the parties and
enjoyed their confidence. From the start of the negotiation to the
actual celebration of the marriage the mediator played an effective
bride-role. If both parties agreed and the horoscopes matched, the
fmal decision rested with the parents of the groom.
At this stage a contract was drawn for settling (in writing) the
terms on which the alliance was to be made. The parents on either
side might consult the would-be groom or bride, but this was
more by way of communicating the decision, rather than taking
their consent. The first pre-marital ceremony associated with the
solemnization of marriage in Tibet was known as 'chang'
2~
begging. The family which was to receive a bride (this was also
true of l'vlar-Pa or male-bride), as a rule, paid the opposite party a
stipulated sum of what was known as 'rnilkmoney' -an
approximation of the amount expended for the bride's upbringing.
The same family also paid another sum to meet the expense of the
party or fete on the occasion of engagement. When both parties
met along with the go-betweens for fmally agreeing to the
marriage contract, the 'chang' ceremony took place, the term
denoting the drinking of the particular alcoholic beverage, the
national drink, as a customary part of the ceremony. At this
ceremony there was some exchange of gift also.
On the other hand, the family of the bride used to grant her dowry
whether in the form of cash, goods, land or slaves-a list of which
was also appended to the contract. The contract also contained the
schedule of the various ceremonials connected with marriage.
Seals were affixed by both families and the go-between signed at
the bottom of the contract. Everything was wound up with song.,
symbolizing the hope and desire for perfection of the nuptial
ceremony. The contract was held sacrosanct and seldom
breached.
As contrary to the common accounts, Dawa Norbu expresses a
different point of view on Tibetan marriages. "Contrary to
western practice, marriage had no legal or religious aspects." But
25
he also admits that "Like a western engagement, the proposed
marriage could be called off if either party wished. "8
Tibetan weddings, it seems, were not open festive occasiOns.
"The negotiations were kept secret and anyone revealing these
would have been considered an enemy of both families. "9
A ring of secrecy surround the wedding ceremony as well.
According to the Chinese authors, Shen and Lieu, "Not everybody
can attend a Tibetan wedding. One has to respect the horoscopic
laws ..... The presence of persons whose zodiacal signs clash with
those of either the bride or the groom will bring disaster. To be
safe, Tibetan weddings are held in Camera."10 Thus, astrology
and superstition exercised an overriding influence in matrimony.
Because of the stability in the Tibetan family divorces were not
very common in Tibet. According to knowledgeable sources,
whenever a situation of marital discord arose efforts were made
by the relatives and friends for compromise. But when these
efforts failed and divorce became inevitable, property was
divided, under the supervision of the girls' mother and from the
boy's side any other member of the family. In a dispute over
divorce, if the wife proved to be innocent, the husband not only
8 Ibid, p.99. 9 Ibid, p. 99. 10 Shen, Tsung-Lieu and Liu, Shen-Chi, Tibet and the Tibetans, Stanford University Press, Stanford, California, 1952. P.l44.
26
lost his wife but had also to return, along with fme, the entire
dowry which the wife had brought him at the time of marriage.
But generally divorces were very few and those that came about
were sanctioned by the Government itself.
In the Tibetan society the element . of penrusstveness was
remarkably shown in the conviction that for any widow
remarriage was essential for sustenance, security and protection.
The Tibetan author Dawa Norbu illustrates the point from his own
family background. His mother after the death of her ftrst husband
announced that she would have to remarry; and giving reason,
"she explained that, unless she had a strong partner who could
saddle, load and unload our donkeys, she could not possibly
continue our petty trade ... In short she was to remarry for our
sakes, to build a great future for us. Moreover, a fatherless family
was often bullied. Who would protect a weak woman with a
bunch of children?"11
The logic is pretty strong in the background of Tibetan life.
Various other reference show that widow-marriages were
common in Tibet.
Permissiveness and freedom in man-woman relationships,
however, did not mean that the Tibetans closed their eyes to the
11 Norbu, Dawa, Red Star over Tibet, Collins St, James Place, London, 1974, p. 89.
27
various manifestations of sexual aberration. The cardinal Tibetan
law book has thirteen decrees which embody the legal code of
conduct for the people. In the twelfth decree adultery is
pronounced as a punishable offense. 12
Some western observers have mentioned that there were horrible
punishments for sexual offenses in Tibet, e.g. clipping of the
nose. Dawa Norbu, however, has strongly challenged the
authenticity of the western scholar's contention that in Tibet the
husband had the right to cutoff his unfaithful wife's nose or ear.
At least the custom never had universal or even wide application
or usage. He states that "Although it is decreed in some old law
books-this is applicable only if a commoner commits adultery
with the wife of a person of authority, ecclesiastical or
governmental. " 13
As a matter of fact Tibetans allowed a fair degree of freedom in
sex-life to their youth, though within certain socio-ethical bounds.
Dawa Norbu's idyllic description may be quoted here, "Autumn
was the season for love-making ... this was the season of romance.
The crops were collected from the scattered fields and brought to
a clean dry spot near the suburbs. The boys and girls looked after
the corps that were being thrashed and slept among the sheaves at
night. As soon as the moon rose, the open-air love-making began.
12 Ibid., p. 79. 13 Ibid, p. 79.
28
From all sides came whistling and counter-whistling---the
language of love, or rather of the game known as 'stripping from
bed.' Groups of boy went hunting for sleeping girls, hauling them
from their beds among the dry stalks. The girl was often taken
aback-or pretended to be. Sometimes she was literally raped. In
spite of our rigid social system, young unmarried people enjoyed
free love". 14
It is added in this connection, "In Tibet lovers were far more
down-to-earth than Romeo and Juliet. Although married couples
were extremely faithful, the unmarried, particularly the young
people, enjoyed much pre-martiallicense."15
According to Rahul Sankrityayan, who extensively traveled in
Tibet, women were available at every stoppage of the journey ..
There were 'wine-women' (women selling barely bear). At places
where men and women were engaged in forced labour, he
observed that during their work men and women joked, sang and
enjoyed themselves, at time in joke men were seen stripping
women. 16 In fact, other Tibetologists have confirmed that there
was no inhibition or shyness both among men and women; during
summer one could see them taking bath naked. The general
opnnon formed from different sources is that men-women
14 Ibid., p. 92-97 15 Sanskrityana. Rahul, Meri Jeevan Yatra, Kitab ~1ahal, Allahabad 1950, pp. 88. 16 Ibid, p.89.
29
relations were very natural in Tibetan communities; neither were
the Tibetans hypocrites in this regard. Sex was given little more
importance than food. People, despite their primitivism, did
realize that sex hunger should be gratified in the most natural
manner.
Position of Women
An important indicator of the social set-up and structure of any
community is the position of women in the society. In view of this
the social standing and privileges of the Tibetan woman-hood
may be briefly considered here. The observations on the status
and position of women in the Tibetan society, are also often at
variance with one another.
On one side there is the extremely critical view that women in
Tibet were used more or less as chattels; they were considered
low or inferior born, unreliable and weak. There was no Tibetan
equivalent for 'fair sex', and woman was woe and the
personification of carnal desires. 17
Furthermore, fairly reliable reports are available about the
superstitious Tibetan belief which stigmatized a barren woman
who was considered as a pariah and outcast and who suffered
11 She11, Tsung-Lieu and liu, Liu, Shen-clli, Tibet and the Tibetans, Stanford University Press, Stanford, California, 1953, pp.l43.
30
terribly under the imputation that she was haunted and possessed
by a foul witch.
Tibetologists have also referred to their experience of having seen
Tibetan women with faces smeared with catechu to make them
look ugly and hence unable to lure the lamas by their enticing
physical charm. From all these accounts we might deduce that
superstitions about 'le femme fatale' had a strong hold on the
Tibetan mind, which in turn would indicate a low status of
women in the earlier phases of the Tibetan society.18
On the other hand, there are equally reliable authorities whose
accounts go to show the honour and dignity associated with Tibe
tan womanhood and the male-female equality, as may be seen
from the fact that women were not debarred from holding high
government posts. One of these authorities categorically states
that the Tibetan women enjoyed full social liberty and equal
social status with men. 19
This controversy may be left alone and instead attention be
concentrated on the important sociological features of the status
and position of the Tibetan women. Quite evidently the degree of
equality of sexes in Tibet impressed most of the observers,
particularly when they viewed it with reference to the value scale
18 :Vfajupuria. lndra, Tibetan Women: Then & Now, Craftsman Prass, Bangkok, 1990, p. 70. 19 Pranavanand, Swami, Exploration in Tibet, University of Calcutta, 1950, p.81.
31
of conventional morality of the West or of Tibet's great neigh
bours like traditional India and China.
It is clear even from the refugees' behaviour that the Tibetans do
not make a fetish of virtues like virginity, chastity and so on and
like to enjoy sex in a natural and uninhibited manner. This itself
may be a great liberating and egalitarian force. Further, the
fraternal polyandrous family gave a uniquely tactical position to
women, but at the same time it could be very tyrannical also. It is
not certainly true that faithfulness was not demanded from the
women within the system. Most of the references to sexual
freedom and libertinism are related to the pre-marital stage. 20
The view may justifiably be accepted that Tibetan women have
had near-equality with men in work and pleasure, but as it
appears, they did not enjoy complete equality with men in religion
and politics. There were also some regional differences in the
position of women.
For instance, the Tibetan respondents particularly singled out the
Amdo region in north-eastern Tibet where women had a relatively
· low status, most probably due to the conservative Chinese
influence which was the maximum in Amdo for Centuries
together.
32
The family, crucially important as it is in all societies, assumes
added significance in the Tibetan refugees' context because of the
uniquely important place it always occupied in their traditional
society just a few decades back from now. The purpose here is to
show how the Tibetan refugees behave in the family sphere 'to fill
together fragments of a life lost', and to what extent the sudden
rupture or tearing away has upset or broken on the family-life or
kinship stability. These questions are of great sociological
significance, because fragments from a most ancient and durable
civilization should more than in any other similar uprooted group
reveal how and to what degree family pattern can be recreated or
re-established by human groups after their uprooting from hearth
and home.
Before outlining the changes that have come about in the family
and marriage patterns of the Tibetan refugees, it would be appro
priate to describe the point of disruption from where they rose
again. The movement of population from Tibet was by and large a
sudden pitchforking development, and when the refugees left their
native land, most of them did not move out as 'families' but as
individuals, or as parts of the family.
In the present study the inquiries revealed that as many as 83% of
the sample households had one or more members of their primary
family left behind in Tibet. There is another side to this tragic
20 ibid, p.ll9.
33
individual life-situation. There was a large nwnber of refugees
who came all alone, such as those who at the time happened to be
visiting Lhasa or there about, the hub of Tibetan life, on
pilgrimage, business or some other purpose. This applies also to
the Khampa and other rebellious elements who escaped in the
hope of engaging in a war of resistance from any vantage point
outside the Tibetan mainland, of course if opportunities for the
same were available.
Since the secondary data reviewed did not give any idea bout the
size-distribution of family and household in Tibet, just a general
impression can be gained that Tibetan families, in their original
setting were usually large.
Table 1.1
Size of Tibetan refugee households: 'then' and 'now'
S.No Size of the family Then Now
No Percentage No percentage
1 1-3 18 7.2 126 50.4 ··-
2 4-6 70 28 75 30
3 7-9 92 36.8 39 15.6
4 10 &above 70 28 10 4 .. _
Total 250 100.00 250 100.00
Source : F1eldwork
From the age of the head of the household, it could be ascertained
that most of the families of the size 1-3 persons were raised in
34
India by the new generation that matured here. What is most
striking is not the glaring contrast between the past and the
present in the size distribution in all size-groups other than that of
4-6 members, but the still existing cohesion and stability in the
Tibetan family.
This is in spite of the fact that in the entire sample only 5
polyandrous families (which along with other factors constituted a
main pillar of the cohesive Tibetan family-unit in the native
context) were located. It is true that probably a majority of the
'new' families that have been raised in India and that have opted
for an independent status for themselves, would have remained as
integral home. However, there is an unmistakable trend that the
Tibetan family after the initial upshot of refugee-hood is
becoming stable. The household size (on the basis of the sample
population) work out to 4.9 per unit which may soon approximate
to the size of the average Indiari family. There was a general
remark from the respondents about the increased fertility of
Tibetan women in India. According to most of the respondents,
'in Tibet it was a problem to beget children but here in India our
ladies are conceiving even at the age of 50'. This may be due to
many factors like more sedentary life, reduction in the rigors of
polyandrous marriage, changed climatic conditions etc.
Size is never an exclusive or sufficient indicator of change in the
family form. So along with the size, information was also sought
35
on the composition of the families by using the two-fold
classification, i.e. of 'conjugal' type-husband, wife or any one of
them and their offspring; and 'joint' type which from the
definition purpose meant any other type of family excepting
'conjugal', as defmed above. The information was cross-tabulated
with the family size.
On the whole, the information on family size and composition
would prove the strength of the family ties in the refugee
community.
Table 1.2
Percentage distribution of Tibetan families in India as per size and type
S.No Family Family Type Total
Size
Conjugal Joint
1 1-3 120 - 120
2 4-6 9 62 71
3 7-9 6 33 39
4 10 and above Nil 20 20
Total 135 115 250
54% 46% 100%
Source : Fteldwork
The incidence of 'jointness', i.e. 46 per cent of the total sample
households, becomes significant considering the vanous
situational elements. In the larger-size joint households, in the
36
native Tibetan society, at times, the members included 'in-la\vs'
and distant kinds and even servants at times.
However, from the composition of the 'new' families (i.e.
families raised by the generation which matured in India) the
trend which is quite perceptible is unmistakably towards conjugal
families. The circumstances of living also influence family
patterns in a significant manner, which can be seen in Tibetan
case as well. For instance, Tibetan refugees families were usually
large in the settlements, whereas comparatively they tended to be
small and of the conjugal type among the out-of-settlement
population. The difference in livelihood pattern and degree of
mobility between these two groups, and not so much the physical
factors such as housing, would appear to have influenced these
differential patterns.
The respondents stated that very few people, excepting mostly
those who lived near the border, could bring their families;
otherwise people just fled helter-skelter in order to save
themselves from Chinese subjugation. In the process many were
separated from their families while fleeing from Tibet. These
separated men and women remarried and established new families •
with new partner. In certain cases after being separated by the
force of circumstances, they searched desperately for their old
partners. During such woe-some efforts due to uncertainty,
insecurity and necessity to lean on each other a few co-travelers
37
became life-partners, even without any formal nuptial. There were
many odd sorts of pairing; a man of seventy-two married a forty
year-old woman, and in some cases aged women married men of
the age of their sons. There was another poignant side to this
tragic drama. In quite a few cases separated women and men
married afresh. But subsequently the lost spouse reappeared when
it was too late for them to leave their new life partners, who had
shared their travails and sorrow during the crisis, and returns to
the first husband or wife.
Tibetans in exile have mostly adopted the monogamous family
from this is despite the fact that the males still outnumber the
females in the ratio of 3 to 2 (compilation made from the sample
household population).
The relatively small number of the females is becoming a real
problem among the Tibetan refugees, which is reflected in many
husbands' sense of anxiety about the stability of their family life.
However, the sex-ratio seems to be improving and tending
towards normalcy in the new generation of Tibetans.
It is noteworthy that so strong a tradition of having many spouses,
particularly of the polyandrous type, should have weakened so
soon without causing any social crisis. Most of the Tibetans opine
that the usage had become irrelevant and, in fact, they have come
to regard it as something 'bad'. The theoretical question about the
38
extent to which family and particularly martial forms are
deterministically influenced by economic factors, seems to be
fully answered in the alterations and changes through which the
Tibetan refugee society has been passing.
It has been noted earlier that in Tibet martial alliances were
subject to some strict social regulations. Both 'class endogamy'
and 'caste endogamy' were in practice. Tribe/territorial group
endogamy, however, was more a product of geographical
isolation than social regulation. Some other regulatory customs
also operated within some specific groups.
There were 24 cases cited in the sample in which marital alliances
had been formed outside the traditionally accepted groups. These .
'unorthodox' marriages constituted 8 percent of the total number
of marriages contracted during the same period. Excepting two
cases, in one a Tibetan boy married a Swiss girl and the rest 22
were between Tibetan spouses. The breaking of traditional
barriers was mostly across the ethnic/regional boundaries. In 9
cases Amdos married Khampas; 4 marriages were between Kham
and U-Tsang people; 5 between Lhasa and Amdo groups; 3
between Lhasa and Khampa people; and 2 between Amdo and U
Tsang people.
There were instances of breaking of the traditional class barriers
as well. In one case a Khampa commoner married an Amdo noble
39
lady and in another an Amdo lady of a noble family got married
in a nomadic Khampa family. And, these were not regarded as
individual acts of defiance; the parents on either side participated
in the marriage ceremonies.
Yet these could not be regarded as 'arranged' marriages in the
normal sense of the term. It was also observed that contrary to the
old tradition in which the boy's family enjoyed superior ritual
status at least during ·the marriage ceremonials, in the case just
cited in which the low-status man married a high-status woman,
the latter's family was accorded full esteem and courtesy.
However, the old aristocracy still tries to practice rigid 'class
endogamy'. With their numerous foreign contacts and foreign
education in some case (i.e. education received in the western
countries), they have tended to accept the foreigners, particularly
the 'white' people (and they do not regard the Indians as
'foreigners') as a preferential marital group over their own people
who do not belong to their own privileged class in the native
society. In fact, the aristocrats' isolation from their own people
and growing western orientation operate at many levels.
No case of marriage between Indian and Tibetan spouses came in
the sample, though there were reports of some such cases. From
this it may be concluded that such marriages are exceptional. It
has been seen that in the traditional set-up, marriages were mostly
40
of the arranged type; usually the father or the eldest male member
of the family discharged the responsibility of arranging them. The
consent of the boy and rarely of the girl might have been taken at
'some stage.'
In the new setting, to the chagrin of the older generation 'love
marriages' are becoming the norm, though it is difficult to draw a
line of demarcation between 'arranged' and 'love marriages.'
Among the refugee groups the latter form, on account of the
greater and firmer initiative taken by the marital partners
themselves, is getting approval from the parents. Yet from the
manner the elders discussed the situation, they gave a clear
indication that they viewed the unconventional developments with
an air of anguished helplessness. It was difficult to make a tally of
the incidence of love-marriages, among the total number of
marriages held in the sample-households during any specific time
period. But from the discussion on this topic it transpired that in a
majority of cases the initiative was taken by the spouses, and the
parents, however reluctantly, fmally fell in line.
The rituals and ceremonies which form part of the marriage cycle
were significantly related to the traditional social structure. Hence .
~y change in them is indicative of structural change in the
society. In all societies the scale of ceremonies is always a
question of means and is related to the socio-economic status of
the families involved. However, the weight of the tradition in
41
enforcing decisions, even beyond the economic or social means,
is also well recognized. The importance of group norms, of
religious rituals and elaborateness of the ceremonials in the
Tibetan context have been already discussed.
For the Tibetans also, marriage being an occasion for display of
prestige, the scale and grandeur might have varied according to
one's socio-economic status. Nonetheless marriage ceremonies
were obligatory for all sections.
From a few observed occasions and interviews, what appeared
was that a significant change had overtaken the Tibetan refugee
society in regard to the ceremonial and ritual aspects of the
marriage. Gradually, marriage ceremony is becoming a personal
family event which might include its close circle of friends, rather
than an event in the social-life cycle.
The role of the traditional kinship system and specially that of the
fraternal group called 'rus' (clan), has completely weakened.
Even the sacramental part, including the presence of lama, may be
dispensed with on hard economic grounds. For instance, it was
seen that from our sample a 21 year-old girl did no more than
informed the settlement authority when she married a boy of her
own choice. She said she could afford no ceremonials. On the
contrary, a recently married girl from a noble family regretted that
they had to make do with just one day's feast.
42
Thus, there has certainly been a great deal of forcible leYeling in
the matter of scale of marriage ceremonials and area of social
participation.
The style of nuptial celebration is also changing towards <western
modes'. It was observed that in the case of the new 'set', the
young group celebrated the occasion by playing western music
and dancing in the western style. Apparently, this was not
appreciated by the older generation which wanted the marriage to
be celebrated in the traditional style. In this nonconformist form
of marriage the old who would have otherwise occupied the place
of pride on the occasion were naturally left out.
Apart from collecting general impressions of the respondents
about the changes in the family's authority structure, they were
asked a question on the changes perceived in the father-son(s)
relationship. The respondents were to give not only categorical
'yes' or 'no' answers but also explanatory comments.
43
Table 1.3
Change in Family Authority Pattern
Age of respondents No change
26-35 11
36-+5 13
46-55 15
55 &above 17
Total 56
Per cent 56
Source: Fteldwork
Change
7
10
12
15
44
44
On the aggregate 56 per cent of the respondents expressed that
there has been 'no change' in traditional family-authority pattern
in which the father acted as a patriarch and the sons hardly ever
questioned his authority.
On the other hand, the remaining 44 per cent felt that there has
been a change in the traditional form of relationship. Some of
them added by way of explanation that the phenomenon of
generational conflict was manifest in the domain of family
authority structure.
It is interesting to note that the magnitude of perception of
changes is much higher in the age-group above 46 years than in
the younger age-group. The older age-group expressed that a
change has come about in the authority of the father or male head
of the family.
44
Notwithstanding the fact that the younger age group might not
have been in a position of compare the two family settings, the
old and the new, a majority of them were unequivocal in
maintaining that there had been no change. The response patterns
could be explained with reference to the generational psychology.
The older, i.e. the parental set see a devolution of their authority
and, owing to the consequent sense of insecurity, perceive the
degree of change in a much larger magnitude. On the other hand,
the younger set tend to view the degree of change as too marginal
to register any impression on their cognitive structure. The
differential in inter-generational perception might reflect not so
much the real state as a kind of inner turmoil-the older generation
feeling insecure that the family world has changed too fast, and
the younger, impatient that it has not changed enough.
It was gathered from the discussion with the respondents that the
Tibetan youth, particularly the educated, have evolved some sort
of nations that the father should also deserve respect, whereas in
the native traditional society the father automatically got respect
from his children.
Another important aspect was of analyzing change in the family
structure is through sibling relationship. This is particularly
relevant in the Tibetan context because of the strong tradition of
fraternal polyandrous form of family, which demanded complete
45
harmony among the brothers m order to preserve the family
solidarity.
As in the case of change in parental authority, in the case of
relationship pattern among the siblings also the majority of the
respondents expressed that there was no change in the traditional
type of sibling-relationship pattern which was assumed to be most
commonly harmonious.
An overwhelming proportion of the population expressed that the
old pattern had changed. They also felt that it had changed in the
negative way, i.e. in the refugee state there was less love and
affection among brothers. Some of the respondents of course felt
that it had changed for the better.
Husband-wife relationship was another element of the family
which was taken as an indicator of family change. Earlier while
describing the traditional marriage and family patterns in the
Tibetan society, the position of the Tibetan women has been
extensively examined. However, for the purpose of outlining the
process of change in husband-wife relationship, the position
obtaining in the 'native' society has been taken as the base, it is
being assumed that the respondents already had a conception of
what it was. They are only expressing if the old pattern has
changed or not, and if it has changed, in whose favour. Practically
46
speaking, they would be interpreting it in the value-scale of their
own-community setting.
According to a majority of the respondents in the state of exile the
educated and working women are getting more respect in the
family and community. They added that now women are getting
equal educational opportunities; even in economic activities they •
are playing an equal role with their male cmmterparts. The impact
of modernization has also helped in enhancing the status and role
of the Tibetan women.
While in exile, some of them are also seen working in the Tibetan
establishments along with their men-folk in important positions;
they are being represented in their parliament-type organization
which is known as the Commission of Tibetan People's Deputies.
Out of the total number of 16 seats formerly three seats were
reserved for women representatives. But since the year 1975, the
Tibetan Administration in exile has abolished these reserved seats
and women have been given an equal opportunity to compete
with men.
In India, they added, it has become impossible for them to
ascertain the faithfulness and loyalty of their wives. In India the
Tibetan men-folk outnumber their women. Naturally the Tibetan
47
women in India enjoy greater freedom in choosing their partners.
At least they have a broader opportunity for picking and choosing.
Some of the respondents even complained that their weakened
family ties in India had adversely affected the solidarity of
husband-wife relationship in a few cases.
Despite the typical situational handicaps (of refugee condition)
which portend disruption of the cohesive Tibetan family structure
and estrangement of kith and kin, the refugees have been able to
recreate, and stabilize their family structure in the midst of alien
surroundings and at a time when their children and teenagers are
more and more getting attached to extra familial or even
unfamilial institutions.
The spirit of adjustment and fortitude shown by them in this
process is truly remarkable. The psychology that has worked
behind this process has been, in no small measure, built by their
instinctive eagerness to remain true to their religion and culture.
Anyway the process of regeneration has been very impressive
indeed.
48
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