Impoliteness

One Hundred Im/polite Days by Marjorie Kanter

Herein u will find part of Marjorie Kanter’s

OneHundredDays Project in conjunction with the London Word Festival.

December 2009-March 2010.

Investigation/Experimentation/Creation/Reflection/Documentation/Dialogue/

Participation

Originally posted on Twitter/Facebook/Blogger

The one hundred+ Tweets

with slight modifications to accomodate for the change in format -- from Twitter (144

character limit) to Power Point. Many of the spelling and punctuation plays that were used

to meet the length limitation required by Twitter have been kept and a few new ones added for aesthetic and content purposes.

The Tweets

What doesit mean 2 b im/polite?

Send me ur ideas. margiekanter@gmail.com

1

Can animals b polite& impolite?

2

Howdowe workout that differentgroups& different cultures use differentrules/conventions 4 whatisim/polite?

3

Is there a right &awrong way 2 b im/polite?

4

Can u be im/polite if u don’t know the rules?

5

Politeness-engage in n atmosphere of relative harmony: tact/approbation/modesty/agreement/sympathy.

(Geoff Leech)

6

Can u b polite &impolite at the same time?

7

Can u b im/polite only in ur thoughts (without putting it into action) &still b im/polite?

8

Is it/can it b im/polite 2 ask how to bpolite?

9

Check out curious politeness reversal in Luis Buñuel´s film “The Phantom of Liberty”, 1974.Private is public and public is private. Go to: http://im-polite100days.blogspot.comfor the Youtube clip. Look in the section Film &impoliteness in the 2009 entries.

10

How can u be polite if u don’t know how to b polite?

11

How do u learn the rules or conventions of being polite when u don’t know them?

12

Can you b im/polite to urself?

13

Can a lie b polite? How do you knowif/when a lie is a lie?

14

Is it impolite 2 tell sum1they’re being impolite?

15

Can u imagine a world (what it would b like 2 b) without rules/conventions4 im/politeness?

16

Read The Monkey and the Fish abeautiful oriental fable at http://im-polite100days.blogspot.comDo unto other as you would have done to you.

Not always a good idea.

17

Lies mixed withextreme &good politeness conventions can b a very dangerous thing.

18

R there polite & impolite ways 2teach im/politeness?

19

What polite things did u do 2day &what polite things happened 2u?

20

You r amongst a group of cannibals &they have chosen 2integrate u into their society. R u impolite 2 refuse 2 eat?

21

Politeness is more than “Por favor”. See article with the title: Politeness is more than please at http://im-polite100days.blogspot.com

22

Polite exchange:

B the 1st 2getup & make breakfast, b the last 2getup & makethe bed.

23

The human mind can b creative, invent things; let’s get creative about politeness.

24

What’s polite in one culture might be impolite in another. What are some examples?

25

When sum people get crowded they push.

26

Conventions&inventions: Why r people like they r?

27

“Why do we eat sardines yet never goldfish, ducks yet never parrots?” Eviatar Zerubavel, Social Mindscapes, AnInvitation to Cognitive, Harvard University Press.

28

Japanese proverb: When you are polite, the others think they are wearing flowers.

29

Courtesy walking// Why do I always have 2 b the one 2 get out of the way? From The Saddle Stitch Notebooks: Works in Process # 8, M. Kanter.

30

Politeness conventions change over time.

31

Is it impolite 2 give directions when u don’t really know? Why would sumone do thisanyway?

32

Does itmatter who isimpolite 1st?

33

Do u knowhow 2 take turns?

34

A politeness convention must b an agreement between at least 2 people.

35

Anti-politeness statement:

All is fair in love &war.

36

Can u drop a bomb politely?

37

“The English are polite by telling lies. The Americans are polite by telling the truth.” Malcolm Bradbury

38

Is it impolite 2 ignoreabeggar?

39

Do u always say what u mean? Do u always meanwhat u say?

40

How do u stay polite when u r feeling angry or frustrated?

41

Is it im/polite if a woman kisses a man’s hand instead of a man kissing the woman’s hand?

42

Can u b politely impolite? If ur answer is yes, give an example. Write margiekanter@gmail.com

43

Can it ever b polite 2bimpolite?

44

Did politeness conventions come about 4 altruistic reasons? How did they comeaboutand4whatreasns?

45

How do uknow when close is 2close4comfort?

46

All2gether 123:tenpeople sitn round a table at the same time = ten simultaneously talkingpeople = Spain Here I am waiting to enter a conversation.Project in process: Marjorie Kanter

47

Overheard talk:

Calla niño, es de mala educación hablar con la boca llena. Shut up kid. It’s impolite to talk with ur mouth full. Underlying Message: Do what I say not what I do.

48

What’s ur politeness orientation?

49

Leaving my yoga class early: Do I say good-bye or do I elect not 2 interrupt & just walk out? Which is more im/polite? If u have a definite answer u might b right 4 sum contexts &wrong 4 others. Sumtimes u r caught in a paradox &then trying 2 b polite u r impolite.

50

What do u think? Politeness conventions

require fair intentions.

51

Things ucan do with impolite behaviors: Interrupt Insult Reject Ignore Changetopics Hogthetalktime Hangup Avoid -What else?

52

Sum things u can do withpolite behaviors:Thank WelcomeTaketurns Changetopic Apologize Request ExitEnter Aconversation-Whatelse?

53

Extreme impoliteness: He jumped down

my throat.

54

Tools for expressing im/politeness: EyesHands

NoseMouthWordSoundsToneBody Clothing TelephonTimeSpacePlaceFistWhat else?

55

Use of tools: MovementPosition DistanceStanceTouchGettingcloser GettingfurtherawayStaring ArrivaltimeExpectedtime

Hangup What else?

56

I learned 2 b polite bcuz itwas the polite thing 2 do.

57

SicilianPverb “It’s notpolite2eat just thecenter ofthecheese &justthe breadcrust” Do: Findsome1 wholikes theoppositeof u&share.

58

Check out, enjoy &comment: Dr Seuss, The Zax, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfI9e4BX0lU See more Dr. Seuss on Youtube: The Grinch Grinches The Cat in the Hat + The Snitches. U can connect from the impolite blog http://im-polite100days.blogspot.com Go to the section on images, videos etc. (It appears that the videos have been removed from Youtube. Films can be purchased. They are wonderful. You may find some Dr. Seuss on Youtube or segments.)

59

Whogets last seat?

FastestOldestFem in very hiheelsXhaustdyoungworkrWoman+babyPerson with bigheavyboxSmallchildDrunkHandicapd

60

There is more than one way to represent the world. The way in which it is represented can be interesting, fun, important, confusing...

61

Words 2 rhymepolite: FightFrightKnightMightInviteRightSpiteFlightBlightDelightNightInciteAlrightSlightUptightTonightInsight&then orange has nothin 2 do with it, but it’s a curious word without a rhyme in English. Invent one and attach meaning to it, ie. porange.

62

Can machines b polite? http:impolite100days.blogspot.com/Blog entry made on January 31, 2010.

63

Polite fiction: social scenario+all r aware of a truth but pretend 2 blieve other version of events to avoid emabarrass(ment) or conflict.

64

Reversiblity//If I did that 2 her/she wouldn’t like it/(so) why does she do/it 2 me? Portraits in Words, M. Kanter

65

Watch your p’s and q’s. It all depends on the culture. Did you know that thumbs up can be very insulting in some cultures?

66

Wewere in2ndgrade: Teacher toldus 2butonup r lips,zip themup.I did agood sewing job, but Tommydidn’t & hegot his ear pulled good. Memory Pieces, M. Kanter

67

Linguist visitinSpain asksSpaniard Whendine?Spanishtime or realtime? Spaniard says Realtime. Visitor showsup at6, Spaniard at10. Border Crossings, M. Kanter

68

Which culture/value/behavior takes precedence when several r in conflict or contradiction?Which can cohabit in theirdiferences?

69

Could it b that a person uthink is impolite or rude thinks the same about u?

70

Crossingcultures: It can all b so confusing.

71

SometimesIdon’t know how 2 behave &I wish Idid.

72

She knew//Whydidn’t she tellme? www.elasunto.com/mkd.htm Reading between the lines, M. Kanter

73

What’s the difference btween anim/polite person & an im/polite act?

74

It’s veryhard 2combat polite impolitenesses.

75

What happens when 2 verypolitepeople who come from different cultures with different conventions try to be(have) polite(ly)?

76

How many times do you say good-bye before it’s really good-bye? (Before you really leave -- before the other really leaves)

77

Dubl standard: What things can a member of a culture (an insider) do that a non-member (an outsider) can’t &viceversa?

78

Duble implite:Who ismore impolite - (u) walkinbtween 2 people who r talkin&blocking the aisle allowing no one 2 get by,u or they? Example: Criticize something in the culture, what else?

79

TheGreat Pretender/

Heknows how 2listen withoutlistening.FromThe Saddle StitchNotebooks #1 WorksinProcess www.elasunto.com/mkd.htm

80

What animal behaviors might b precursors 2 human im/politeness behaviors?

81

Cafe sitting//

Today’s/the day//for nose pickers/walking by.//I’m on my 5th one. www.elasunto.com/mkd.htm from “Idisplace the air as I walk”, M. Kanter

82

“Politeness: the most acceptable hypocrisy.”

Ambrose Bierce

83

Hav a conversashon 2day on im/polite with sum-1. Let us know how it went.

We’re spreading the word!

84

.heT dreor ni hihcw gtshni r node anc b pimtnaort The order in which things R done can b important. Did you figure the gibberish out?

85

CanAWishBPolite?This is a 2 part tweet. This is part 1.

86a

ItHasStartd2Rain//

Iwatchaneldrly/gentlmn/ asHe/unfoldsacloth/hankerchief/&placesit/care(ful)y/ovrhishead./(Ihopeit’sjustadrizl) from “I displace the air as I walk”, M.Kanter.

86b

How do u-know how/learn how/2-take someone else’s point of view?

87

Can you b im/polite 2 the universe?

88

HoldinHerUP/

Thiswoman callsme onthephon./Shetalks&talks&tlks&tk./Then allof asuden Isay2words,mayb3./Shenervouslysays,I’ve got2go. from “I displace the air as I walk”, M. Kanter

89

Politeness conventions can b used 4 different purposes; the way in which they r used is/can b/important.

90

It sounddlike acompliment but itwasreallyaninsult.ThewholestoryisinthecombinationofWords

ToneVolumeIntentionGestureMovmentetc.

91

There seems2 b a rudenes epidemic runing all around town:NoiseDogshitGarbagemaking Unfairsharing of resources What else?

92

What do u/do we/do about/do with/those

who use politeness conventions 4 unfair practices?

93

Let’splay royalty&pauper 4theday. Who gets2play what?Now reverse theroles. How do u have 2behave in each&howdo ufeel?

94

Can u b 2polite?

95

What values&beliefs go with politeness conventions? Howdo theywork 2gether&in conflict.

96a

ModestyHonestyAppearances Equity&FairnesSafety Power relationshipsRespectetc. Whatr thevalues&beliefs 2b taken in2 consideratn?

96b

Politeness where did it come from where is it where is it going where do we want it to go where could it go?

97

How do we/can we rewrite this politeness biz 2 meet values, attitudes&beliefs that can work on a universal level?

98a

Which existing conventions canb used&whichmust b totaly changd?

98b

¿Polite or impolite? From whose point of view, urs or mine or ours or theirs or everybodies?

99

How did these conventions come

about anyway!?!

100

Info

For the 100 Im/polite Days project, I generated 100 tweets for 100 days to provoke thinking (my own and others) on the topic of communication &incommunication in general & politeness &impoliteness in particular; both within a culture &crossing cultures. The project came about because of Josie Long’s call for 100dayprojects (to improve yourself) in conjunction with the London Word Festival.

This presentation contains the 100 tweets (+) that I posted on Twitter and Facebook from December 2, 2009 until March 10, 2010. Tweets(+) refers to a few cases where a days Tweet was posted in 2 parts.

As part of the project I used my original Twitter page @MarjorieKanter, opened a special Im/polite Facebook page and a special Im/polite blog. Each format allowed different kinds of things. I liked very much working with the 144 Tweet character limit &how the Facebook page allowed for dialogue &also kept everything on the theme in one place without intermixing of other topics and entries. I used the blog format in a non-traditional way, more as a file cabinet for storing resources I found &materials I wrote. I will most probably continue to add to the blog beyond the one hundred days and would like to receive suggestions of material to add, be it theoretical, applied or creative. The blog is organized by topics not by dates.

For the purposes of this presentation, I’ve added a few comments, adapted the text a bit, changed the type size and modified spellings&markings (becuz each medium&moment in time/space calls for specific things).

Marjorie Kanter

Author of “I displace the air as I walk”, “The Saddle Stitch Notebooks”, “The Bagged Stories” and other short writings and projects including In-Communication, a word installation for Supraficciones (LaCaixa/Lleida, 2007)&Historias para la espera (La Noche en Blanco, Madrid, 2008.) Ms. Kanter focuses in both her creative writing, her research and her installations on communication &incommunication. Her creative writings come out of her life experiences usually first documented in her journals largely written since she has lived outside the USA (past 27 years) though they also sometimes include memory events that resurface (in my mind) out of the past.

Ms. Kanter’s activities include:

-Word interventions &installations in public spaces. Text plus context equals interactivity to spark learning, reflection, dialogue, the sharing and viewing of multiple points of view etc.-A story telling walking tour of Madrid´s Barrio de las Letras. This one and a half hour tour makes stops in the Barrio de las Letras (Madrid) where Marjorie Kanter reads some of her texts in front of the settings where they first occurred-Workshops that mesh creativity, writing, journal keeping and interculturality.-Readings from published and works in progress.

On-line

Specific to this project: Blog: http://im-polite100days.blogspot.com/Twitter: @MarjorieKanterFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/100-Impolite-tweets

General: www.elasunto.com/mkd.htmhttp://www.facebook.com/marjorie.kanter margiekanter@gmail.com

Logo, general design consultation, project input & technical assistance by Jose Luis Delgado Guitart.

www.elasunto.com delgadoguitart@gmail.com

© Marjorie Kanter“Impoliteness”

Ediciones La Espiral EscritaLaEspiralEscrita@gmail.com

Madrid, SpainMarch 2010

ISBN 978-84-614-2674-4