How to Communicate with Practically Anyone: What Kind of Animal Are You? Cindi Reynolds Employee and...

How to Communicate with Practically Anyone:

What Kind of Animal Are You?

Cindi Reynolds

Employee and Organizational Development

Creynolds@tennessee.edu

Workshop Objectives

• Identify ten secrets to increased communication.

• Identify barriers to effective communication.

• Identify your communication style with your strengths and improvement areas.

• Personal Objectives

Communication Activity

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished.

George Bernard Shaw

Ten Secrets to Increase Understanding

Rapport– The ability to be in sync, to be fully

present with someone

– A critical part of rapport is attention

– Includes nonverbal communication

– Matching someone creates familiarity, comfort, and trust

Ten Secrets to Increase Understanding

Authenticity– Being genuine, real and congruent

– Integrity

– Willing to communicate your truth as it exists in the moment

Ten Secrets to Increase Understanding

Reflective Listening– Feedbacks the content and feeling of

what has been expressed

– Conveys understanding, acceptance and empathy

Ten Secrets to Increase Understanding

Using “I” Messages– Taking responsibility or owning your

experience

– Not resorting to blame

Ten Secrets to Increase Understanding

Self-Awareness– Be aware of your own feelings, values,

needs, desires, and motives

– Knowing yourself is critical

Ten Secrets to Increase Understanding

Communication Withholds– A withhold is a consciously or

unconsciously held thought or feeling– Needs to be communicated but withheld– Due to some uncomfortable emotional

charge associated with the item in question– Periodic clearing sessions in regular

intervals

Ten Secrets to Increase Understanding

Empathy–Put yourself in someone else’s shoes–Seeing the world through the other

person’s eyes–Ability to feel what someone else is

experiencing and to validate their experience

Ten Secrets to Increase Understanding

Giving and Receiving Feedback– Information about past behavior

delivered in the present for the purpose of influencing future behavior

– Build, maintain, or test relationship– Needs to be supportive and empowering– Without judgment and blame

Ten Secrets to Increase Understanding

Ask for What You Want or Need–Asking for what you want or need is

essential in the workplace

–Know who to ask, and having a way to ask it is critical

Ten Secrets to Increase Understanding

Synergy–The whole is greater than the sum of

all the parts

–Creative communication is contagious

Four Barriers to Effective Communication

• One Way Communication• Poor Listening and Expressing Skills• Stereotypes, Prejudices, Values,

and Beliefs• Fear of Ridicule, Embarrassment or

Loss of Self Esteem

“The Lion”The Controller

• Action Oriented• Decisive• Problem Solver• Direct• Assertive• Demanding• Risk Taker• Forceful

• Adventuresome

• Competitive

• Self-reliant

• Independent

• Determined

• Agitator

• Results Oriented

“The St. Bernard”The Organizer

• Patient• Loyal• Sympathetic• Team Person• Easy Going• Deliberates• Gentle• Questionable

• Supportive

• Stabilizer

• Considerate

• Empathetic

• Persevering

• Trusting

• Congenial

“The Fox”The Analyzer

• Diplomatic• Accurate• Conscientious• Fact Finder• Systematic• Logical• Conventional• Analytical

• Sensitive• Emotionally

Controlled• Orderly• Precise• Self-disciplined• Deliberate• Cautious Decision

Maker

“The Monkey”The Persuader

• Verbal• Motivating• Enthusiastic• Outgoing• Convincing• Emotional• Impulsive• Generous

• Influential• Humorous• Socially Confident• Inspiring• Dramatic• Optimistic• Animated

Animal Pie15%

55%

15%

15%

Lions

St. Bernards

Foxes

Monkeys

“THE LION”

• Challenges

• Authority

• Power

• Freedom from Controls

• Options

“The Lion” DO’s of Communicating

• Be Specific, Be Clear, and Be Brief

• Stick to Business

• Provide Options and Probabilities

• Support Results

• Take Issue with Facts, not the Person

• Be Efficient

“The Lion” Don’ts of Communicating

• Waste Time• Be Disorganized• Have Ready Made Decision• Focus on Personal Relationship• Direct or Order• Criticize Personally

“The St. Bernard”

• Harmony

• Security

• Appreciation

• To Provide Service

• Specific Tasks

“The St. Bernard” Do’s of Communicating

• Show Sincere Interest/Appreciation• Be Patient, Listen Be Responsive• Present your Case Softly, Non-

Threateningly• Clearly Define Individual Contributions• Provide Guarantees• Minimize Risks

“The St. Bernard” Don’ts of Communicating

• Rush into an Agenda• Force Decisions• Be Domineering, Demanding,

Threatening• Offer Guarantees You Cannot Fill• Be Abrupt and Rapid

“The Fox”

• High Standards• Detailed Explanations/Rules• Perfection/Precision/Accuracy• Quality and Systematic Controls• To Avoid Confrontations• Time to Make Decisions

“The Fox” Do’s of Communicating

• Thoroughly Prepare in Advance

• List Pros and Cons

• Present a Systematic Approach

• Provide Solid, Tangible Evidence

• Give them Time to Analyze and Verify

• Take Time but be Persistent

“The Fox” Don’ts of Communicating

• Be Disorganized• Be Informal, Casual, or Loud• Overstate or Oversell• Provide Special Incentives• Push for Decisions• Put in a Position of Confrontation

“The Monkey”

• Recognition/Praise• Free from Details• With People/To Be Liked• In Group Activities• Making a Good Impression• To Touch and Be Touched

“The Monkey” Do’s of Communicating

• Take Time to Socialize

• Support Dreams and Intuitions

• Ask for Opinions/Ideas

• Provide Testimonials from Important People

• Put Details in Writing

• Be Stimulating and Fast Moving

“The Monkey” Don’ts of Communicating

• Be Curt or Cold

• Leave Things Hanging

• Talk Down

• Argue