Easter 1987

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Mutated McLuhanism of Electronic Ministry, Map of Readers

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tb.e_!.qy.il- Made Me Do-!!.:The Mu ta ted Mc luhan ism o f t he E lec t ron i c M i n i s t r v

- . - . : s - . . ea r as ' . i e c rack open ou r Cadbury s imu la ted candy e99s and th ink o f t he: ^ s : : . ; s p : r i t o f o u r L o r d J e s u s C h r i s t w e c a n o n l y t l i a n k o u r l u c k y s t a r s t h a t: : -e i e ie : : . p t1on has become an e lec t r cn i c ra the r t han a sp i r i t ua l p rocess - To- - - e a : . s e " " i ' s s e l f o f t h e e v i l s o f s o c i e t y i n 1 9 8 7 , t o d a y ' s s i n n e r n e e d o n l y: : -eck r : r co the nea res t Be t t y Fo rd f ranch ise and then sp i l l ou t t he resu l t s i na ) i a t 1 o n a l E n q u i r e r e x c l u s i v e . I f a m a d e - f o r - T V e r f o l l o w s , f i n e , b u t e v e n; : . t h o u t a f a c t i o n a l i z e d m i n i - s e r i e s , y o u c a n s t i l I f i n d s a l v a t i o n b y b a r i n g- ,he g ruesome de ta i l s o f you r sex I i f e , add ic t i on , and /o r ques t i onab lebus iness dea l i ngs to ne ighbors , f r i ends and Dear Abby .t {h i l e t he mass med ia i nco r rec t i y f ocuses on the humi l i a t i on and "scanda I " o fthe Bakke r Reg ime , t he t rue de ta i l s o f an e lec t ron i c -cum-sp i r i t ua l consp i racyare s l ipp ing between the cracks and conned-sumers remain unaware of theunder l y ing imp l i ca t i ons o f t he e lec t ro -sp i r i t ua l i ndus t r y .1 . qu t t i nq Ou t t he M i - I n t he p re -e lec t ron i c d9e , p r i es t s were thes e r v a n t s o f c o @ u i s w o r d t n d g u i d i n g t h e f I o c k . A n d h e y , t h a t ' sa g rea t sys tem when you t re dea l i ng w i th a l oca l chu rch and a few thousandd i i c i p les . Bu t t oday r ro ma t te r how t i gh t you r p ipe l i ne to the Pear l y Ga tes ,you go t ta have b ig box o f f i ce . W i th modern TV techno logy , t he gospe l can bee l " c t ron i ca l l y d i spa tched I i ke b reak fas t ce rea l and f i ne r b rands o f marga r ine(See i sh #23 i ' The Nex t Vo ice You Hear : Sp read ing The Word o f God and o the rL i c e n s i n g P r o b l e m s " ) .Instead of the e lect ronj -c Second-coming prophesized by Mcluhan, a mutatedve rs ion o f t he techno log i ca l t heo logy was spawned in the 1 960 ' s by Ana IRober t s and M.G. (Pa t ) Rober t son . I n t he E lec t ron i c Church , t he TV p reacherdoesn ' t have to ge t you to God , he on l y has to ge t you to the TV . By ac t i ngas H is o f f i c i a l TV spokesperson , t he TV p reacher e f fec t i ve l y cu ts ou t t hem i d d l e - m a n ( i . e , Y a h w e h , G o d , t h e H o l i e s t o f H o l i e s , e t c . ) . K e e p i n g s p i r i t u a lt ransmiss ion e lec t ron i c , ra the r t han cosmo log i ca l a l so makes the bookkeep inge a s i e r . A f t e r a I I y o u c a n ' t c a s h a c h e c k w r i t t e n t o J e s u s C h r i s t .2 . gex and Druqs and the H l - One th ing the Bakkers have proven istha t sp i r i t ua l sa l va t i on i s no l onger a necess i t y . As Tammy Bakke rdemons l ra ted , t rue redempt ion i n t he 1980 ' s comes f rom check ing i n to a de toxcen te r . None o f us a re sp i r i t ua l l y bad r w€ jus t go t hooked on some we i rdsh i t . And i f sex i s you r down fa l l , don ' t swea t i t as l ong as you r p i cad i l l osme l l - s I i ke a p r ime- t ime soap and you ' re w i l l i ng to desc r ibe i t t o Ba rba raWa l te rs , Ted Koppe l o r any ma jo r ne twork morn ing show hos t .3 . God Wan ts to Be A S ta r - Those who fea r a Church /S ta te consp i racy be t te rt o o t < a 9 a i @ e a r d a n 9 e r w i t h i n t h e w o r l d o f T V t h e o I o g y i s aChurch /En te r ta inmen t i nb reed ing tha t i s s i l en t l y t h rea ten ing one o f ou r mos timpor tant f reedoms - the r ight to choose pop stars . Havinq h ipped i tse l f to. . r t i t i e s o f p o p s t a r C - o r , r , t h e T V C l l r i r e h h a s b e e n i n f i ' l t - r a t i - n c r t h e

enf,erEarnmenE TrruusEry wl-'Enln cne paSE Clecade borrowing pop stars and pops ty les to sp read the word . f t ' s no acc iden t t ha t t he e lec l ron i c chu rch i s socarefu l ly a l igned wih the enter ta i -nment complex. The J immy Swaggar t -Jerry LeeLew is and the Tammy Bakke r /Gary (A I Iey Oops ! ) pax ton ] i a i son a ie fu t t he t i po f t he i cebe rg on th i s Re l i g ioso -En te r ta inmen t consp i racy .4 . ! @ - U n f o r t u n a t e I y , t h e ' ' b a d d e s t i ' t h i n g t h a t J i m B a k k e rd id was to b low PTL business deals . Amer ica can excuse any[h ing but a crappybus inessman and Reverend Bakke r j us t cou ldn ' t t u rn the ho l y do i l a r . rn acoun t r y where some ho te l s a re rep lac ing G ideon B ib les w i th " Iaccoca" i t ' s nowonder tha t we can accep t re l i g ion as a bus iness and bus iness as a re l i g ion .And i t ' s no wonder tha t Fa the r Bakke r used te rms l i ke "hos t i l e t akeove r iinstead of "b l -ackmai l " because of the many tongues in which the e lect ronicchu rch speaks , t he mos t popura r i s t he l anguage o f B ig Bus iness .Yeah the Lord g iveth and the Lord taketh arr ray. And i i the government won' tba i l ou t t he nea r -bank rup t Pass -The-Le t tuce C Iub , t hen . fe r r y Fa lwe l l w i11 . Soth i s Eas te r , when you ' re s tu f f i ng down an ex tended she l f - I i i e choco la tebunny, remember that Jesus may have d ied for your s ins, but J immy and Tammywi I I ge t a be t te r roya l t y sp read on the i r b iog raphy .

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REPORTNOFTEN .TN ERROR - NEVER IN DOI]BT'

THE A&R REPORT ACQUIRES AN INTEREST IN THE ATARI CORPORATION

Honor ing ou r po l i cy o f f u I I and comp le te d i sc losu re o f a l l acqu is i t i ons anddivestments, The A&R Repor t announces acquis i t ion of an undisc losed amount ofs tock in the Atar i Corporat ion. The purchase of these shares demonstrates oursuppor t o f the only v iab le a l ternat ive to the d ig i ta l confus ion fo is ted onthe genera l publ ic by Microsof t , IBM and a host o f equal ly hungry computercompan ies , a I I w i l l i ng to sac r i f i ce the t rue m i rac le o f compu t ing fo r t hesake of a fast ent repeneur ia l buck.As we have ind icated throughout our ser j -es of essays and ar t ic les on thesubject , the se lect ion of hardware, sof tware, and f i rmware in the currentcomputer market is a pathet ic co l lect ion of overpr iced, poor ly prepared, andqu ick l y obso le te ga rbage tha t i s d i f f i cu l t t o unders tand and i ns ta l l . Thefact that one needs a book to operate a computer or a c lass to proper ly learna program demonstrates how far we are f rom achiev ing the f reedom whichcomputers or ig ina l ly promised.Instead, computer usage, thanks to the near-conspi rator ia l e f for ts of anin te rna t i ona l gang o f merchand ise rs , rema ins the same e l i t i s t , un re l i ab le andpoor l y des igned mess o f w i res , cab les , an t i - v i sua l sc reens , andindec iphe rab le symbo ls and i cons . I t s use i s l im i ted mere l y t onumber-crunching and in fornrat ion processing and has spawned a generat ion ofmedj-ocre computer ar t is ts and desktop publ ishers.Only one company has penetrated th is s ickening morass - Atar i . F i rs t , wi ththe A ta r i 800 and now, w i th the A ta r i 1040 ST ( the f i r s t "a f fo rdab le

k i lobyte") , Atar i has demonstrated that comput ing can be easy, en joyable andproduct ive. The "game" connotat ion, which Atar i unfor tunate ly is a t tempt ingto shake, is ev idence that the Sunnyvale corporat ion, under both major CEO|s,has approached comput ing f rom a s imple, economicaly ef f ic ient , computerspi r i tua l i ty . We look forward to at tending the annual Atar i s tockholder 'smee t ing .DISCLOSURE: Thisp rog ram, a 1 050typewr i ter .

Report was composed on an A ta r i 800 us ing an A ta r iw r i t e rd i sk d r i ve , a B ro the r nte?face and a Brother CE50

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bx 22LL3 'OFTEN f/V ERROR - NEVER IN NIIBT| Surset S.F. CA 94L22

1987 READERSHIP SURVEY

Dear readers , i n o rde r t o be t te r unders tand you r we a re consu l t i ng ap roc to log i s t . Hey , j us t k idd ing . . . bu t you know tha t t he t ru th o f i t i stha t a t some pub l i ca t i ons , t he readersh ip i s j us t a face less l i s t o f ma i l i nglabe ls . No t so a t t he A&R Repor t . We take a spec ia l , a lmos t pe rve rse ,i n te res t i n t he i nd i v idua l and g roup conc iousness o f ou r subsc r ibe rs . I f wedon t t know who you a re , t hen we t l l neve r know who we a re . So p lease , t akeyour t ime, answer the survey and le t us know about your wor ld .

- NAME

1 . T h e b i g g e s t t h i n g w r o n g w i t h A m e r i c a i s :

2 . The b igges t t h ing wrong w i th the un i ve rse i s :

3 . I

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about the A&R Report

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7 . I s t i l l b e l i e v e i n

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not too o1d to

r d i d n ' t l i k e .

f ind under my bed is .

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