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Dave: You'relisteningtoBulletproofRadiowithDaveAsprey.Today'scoolfactsofthedayisaboutproductivityandefficiency.Itturnsouttheaveragepersonuses13differentmethodstocontrolandmanagetheirtime.AccordingtosomestudiesthatwerequotedinHarvardBusinessReview,multitaskingistechnicallyimpossibleandyoushouldprobablystoptryingtodoit.Atleasttoa40%dropinproductivity,increasedstress,anda10%dropinIQ.About20%oftheaverageworkdayisspentoncrucialandimportantthingsand80%oftheworkdayisspentonthingsthathavelittleornovalue.Ouch.

Tuesdayisthemostproductivedayoftheweek.Drinkingalcoholinverysmallamounts,which,well,itcanactuallyleadtoamoderateintoxicationlevelanditcanboostcreativethinking,howeveryouwon’tlivelongerfromusingalcohol.Ithinktherearebettersmartdrugsthanthat.

Don'tfeelbad,nineoutof10peopledaydreaminmeetings.You'vegottadosomethingproductiveinthem.

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There'sacompanycalledHealthIQthatadvocatesforhealth-consciouslifestyles.Theyusethingslikescienceandbigdatatogetlowerratesforpeoplewhoarepayingattentiontotheirhealth.Thingslikecyclists,runners,peoplewhoexercise,vegans,vegetarians,BulletproofDiet,itdoesn'treallymatter.Peoplearepayingattention.TheyhaveaproprietarymetriccalledahighhealthIQ.PeoplewithahighhealthIQare42%lesslikelytobefatand57%lowerriskofdyingearly.

Mostofthetimeyoudon'tknowyourhealthIQandyouprobablydon'tknowyoucansavesomemoneyonlifeinsurancebygettingyourhealthIQ.Rightnow,peoplelisteningtoBulletProofRadiocangetafreelifeinsurancequoteandlearntheirhealthIQbygoingtohealthiq.com/bulletproof.Justgotohealthiq.com/bulletprooftolearnmoreabouthowyoucangetlifeinsuranceforpeoplewhotakecareoftheirownbiology.

Ifyouliketoday'sepisode,thethingtodoisheadonovertoiTunesandleaveafive-starrating.Infact,youcanholdoffondoingthatuntiltheendoftheshow,becausetoday'sshowisgoingtobeamazing.

Today'sguesthaswritten15books.He'soneoftheworld'sleadingmanagementthinkersandconsultants,workswithFortune500companiestoimprovetheirprocesses,theiroperations,theirqualityandperformance.Youmightsay,"Dave,thisisashowaboutbio-hackinghumanperformance.Whydoyouhavealeadingmanagementthinkerontheshow?"I'lltellyou,becauseifyouwanttoimproveyourperformance,there'sprobablynobetterwaythantopayattentiontowhatthismanhastosay.I'mnotaloneinthat,because...youmight'veheardofsomeofhisbooks,butguyslikeTonyRobbinsjustendorsedhislastbookcalled"TheDifference"andsays,"Ifyou'relookingtocreatebreakthroughsinyourbusinessandyourlife,thisbookisforyou."

So,thisisaguywho'sspentanincredibleamountoftimejustbeingawareandseeinghowthingsworkanddoingitbetter.HisnameisSubirChowdhury.Heismostknownforwritingabookcalledthe"PowerofSixSigma".Iwasreallytouchedbyabookcalled"TheIceCreamMaker",whichisavery...youlookatit,it'saverythinbookwithoutawastedwordthatiseasytoread.Itjusttellsyouabouthowthingsactuallyworkincompaniesandmostofusspendourlivesworkingincompanies,notjustasCEOsorentrepreneurs,butwherevertheyare.Iwasjustreallyblownaway.Thisisprofoundlycoolstuff.We'regonnabetalkingaboutthattoday.

So,thanksforbeingontheshowtoday,Subir.

Subir: Thankyousomuchforfeaturingme,finally.

Dave: Ohyeah,we'vebeenworking,bytheway...IthinkIfinallyfoundsomeonewithatravelscheduleatleastasaggressiveasmine.So,bythetimewecouldlineupsometime...Yourbook'sbeenoutforabouttwomonths,hittheUSATodayBest-SellingListinbothIndiaandtheUS,andiswidelyacknowledged.It'syour15thone,forgoodness'sake.

Forpeoplewhoaren'tfamiliarwithyourbodyofworkaround"SixSigma",andaroundjustimprovingthewaypeoplethinkaboutwhatthey'redoingatwork,howdidyougettothepointofwritingyourlatestbook,"TheDifference".Justkindofwalkmethroughyourpathhere.

Subir: Okay,asyouknow...Firstofall,thankyousomuchforfeaturingme.Ireallyappreciateit.Asyoumentioned,thisismy15thbook,"TheDifference".Itcameout,IbelieveinFebruary21stofthisyear.

ThereasonIwrotethisbookisabout,asyoumentioned,thatI'vebeendoingtheprocessimprovementconsultingforlast20years,andbeenworkingwithmostlyFortune500companiesglobally.Whathappenedis,normallybydoingtheprocessimprovement,whatIdoisliterallymakethecompaniesmoreefficient.WhatImeanbythatisliterallysavingbillionsofdollars.RecentlyoneoftheUSautomaker,Isavealmostthreebilliondollarsin16months;threebillion,bydoingtheprocessimprovement.

Dave: Ithinkhalfoftheaudiencejustheardmanagementconsultantandtheireyesglazedover.You'reabouttheoppositeofthat.Youareprobablythemostass-kicking,mostacknowledgedexpertinthefieldaboutgoingintobigcompaniesandmakingbilliondollarchanges.It'snotasmallthing.

It'salsoworthnoting,too,thatwegotintroducedfromJayAbraham,who'salsobeenaguestonBulletProofRadio,whoseoneoftheworld'sforemostmarketingexpertswhoconnectedusandwaslike,"Youguyshavetotalk!"

Butanyway,you'reabouttheoppositeoftheboringmanagementconsultingsuit.YougoinattheCEOlevelandshakethingsupinawaythat'sremarkableandrepeatable.Youstartedoutonprocessimprovement,but"TheDifference"wasactuallynotaboutprocessimprovement.Whatmadeyouchangefromwritingaboutprocesses,whichisfranklyimpactfulbutboring.Whathappened?

Subir: Whathappenedwas,afterdoingitforalmostfor15years,aroundfiveyearsback,Ihitawall.Oneofmyclientisgetting10-Xreturn,anotherofmyclientis100-Xreturn.So,thinkaboutthisway,samesizecompanies,similarrevenue,forthesameindustry.Forthesakeofdiscussion,maybeGMandFord,ormaybeBoeingandAirbus.Supposebothofthemhiredmeasaconsultant,andI'vebeenworkingwithbothofthem,forGMandFord,forthesakeofdiscussion.They'realsousingmyprocess.Thenonecompanyisgettingonly10-Xreturn,andotheroneisgetting100-Xreturn.So,Iwaspuzzledbythat.

Initially,myinitialreactionwas,"MaybeI'mnotagoodconsultant.Maybemyteachingsareflawed.Maybetheprocessesarenotcorrect."Initially,Iwaskindofblamingmyselfandmyteam.Thenafteralotofresearchandeverythingelse,anddiscussionwithmycolleaguesandeverything,whatwefound,no,theoneprocessisgiving100-Xreturn,maybeweshouldstartedtheseclimbs.

Thenwhatwefindout,wethought,"Okay,who'susingtheprocess?Maybethepeoplewhoareusingtheprocess,theremightbeflawmaybethere."Attheendoftheday,whatI'vedone,Ihavedonecompletelyconcentratingon15or20yearsonprocesses,ratherthanthepeople.So,thequestionisthat,"Whatisthepeople?Whoarethepeopleinoneorganization?"

Westartedcompaniesthataregetting100-Xreturn,howistherepeopleversus...WhenIsaypeople,I'mtalkingaboutabsolutelyontheassemblylineworkertoallthewaytotheCEOlevel.WhatIfindoutisattheendoftheday,oneofthecompanywhichisgettingthe10-Xreturn,theydon'thavethecaringmindset.Thecompanieswhoareintothe100-Xreturn,they'rewhatIcallasmajorityofthepeoplehasacaringmindset.

Thenthequestioncomesto,"Whatiscaringmindset?"Thisbookisallabout:HowcanIteachanindividualatanylevelinacompany?Eithercanbeanassemblylineworker,orajanitor,toallthewaytoaCEOorVicePresidentofEngineering,whoeverthepersonis,howcanIteachthemtodoubleuptheircaringmindset?Becausewithoutthecaringmindset,youmaynotgetthebestresultsfromtheprocess.

That'swhatthisbookisallabout,howanyoneofuscanmakeadifference,eitherourorganization,orinoursociety,orinourcommunity,oratyourhome.That'swhatthisbookisallabout.

Dave: Leadersofcompaniesmightobviouslyreadthisbook,butthisiswrittenforpeoplewhoalsoworkatcompanies.Youreallykindalayyourselfbareinthebookabouthow,"I'vebeenphenomenallysuccessful,butIhitawall."Sortoffeelinglikeyoufailedalittlebit.Thendigginginonthatsaying,"Allright.What'sgoingonhere?"Andyoufoundoutitwasn'ttheprocess,itwasactuallytheattitudeandtheenergyofthepeopleinthecompanythatmakesacompanygrow100-X.Andthatit'snotjustleadership,it'severyoneinthecompany,whichmeansforeveryonelistening,youhaveajob,ormaybeyoudon'thaveajob,butyouwantajob,oryou'reworkinginavolunteerorganization,itdoesn'treallymatter.

Yourattitude,whichissomethingthatyoucandirectlycontrol,somethingthatyoucandirectlyhack,somethingthatleadersofcompaniescanalsohelptoinfluence,thatisthebiggestvariable.It'snotaboutdidyoufollowatipandatrickfromabillionairesomewhere,althoughthatmightbehelpful.It'sactually,didyouhavetherightattitudewhenyouapproachedtheproblem,whenyouapproachedtheday.IfyoudowhatIdid,peopledon'tknowthis,Iusedtoputautopartsinboxesforaliving.I'veweldedToyotatruckframesthatwereshippedtothesameplantthattodaymakesTesla's.TheyusedtomakeToyotatrucksthere,theNewmanPlantinFremont,IusedtoworkinCentralValley.

Subir: Ohreally?

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: Ohwow.

Dave: Idon'thaveanyburnsfromthat,infact,Iwasacrappywelder.YoushouldneverdriveaToyotatruckthatIeverweldedon,I'lljusttellyouthat.Notmysecretesauce.

Inthebookthough,youdiscoverthisaftermanyyearsofjustkindagrindingonthevariablestomakethisefficiencyemergewhen,okay,you'reefficientbutpeopledon'tcare,itdoesn'tmatter.

Subir: Yes.

Dave: YoucameupwithanacronymcalledSTARinthebookthatIthinklistenerswouldcareabout.CanyouwalkusthroughwhatSTARis?

Subir: Yeah.STARisbasicallythatifsomebodywantstodoubleupacaringmindset,whatarethehumanattributesthattheyreallyneed?STARisstandforStraightforwardThoughtfulAccountableResult.StraightforwardThoughtfulAccountableResult.Ifyoureallythinkaboutit,takeamomentandthinkaboutit,eachofthishumanattributes,likeyouyourself,asanindividual,canthesefourthingscanbeappliedatyourhome,oratyourcommunity,oratyourworkplace?Itcan.Questionis,someofthesestepsyouhavetopractice,likeeachofus...MaybeImightbeverygoodataccountable,orImightbeverygoodwithstraightforwardness,butmaybeI'mnotgoodinthoughtfulness.MaybeIshoulddemonstratemorethoughtfulness.Eachofushavesomestrengthandweaknesses,eachofthesefourattributes.Thebookisallabouthowcanthesefourelements,ifanyindividualatanylevelcanpracticeanddoubleupthesefourelements,theycanautomaticallydoubleuptheircaringmindset.

Now,letmelittlebitdiggingintowhatisthatstraightforwardness?Right?

Dave: Right.

Subir: Thereasonwejustkindof...Youreallyenjoythatstory,infactinthebookyoumight'vebeenalreadyreadit.Onedayoneofmyclient...Ishowedupinaclient,itwasinMichigan,theclientwasinMichigan.Itwasaverywinterstormgoingon.IthoughtthatImightbedelayedbecauseIwasstuckwiththetrafficbecauseofthewinterstorm.Finally,Iarrivedontime,becauseI'mintoquality,Ialwaystryto,everythingIdo,trytodoitontime.It'sveryimportant.

Dave: That'swhy...IjusthavetopointoutthatIkeptyouwaitingfor15minutestostartthisepisode,andIknewthat.Iwaslike,"Ifeellikesuchajerk."ButIwasrecordinganotherepisodeandIcouldn'thangupinthemiddle.So,anyway,apologies.

Subir: No,no,no.Notthat,butthegoodthingisthisthough,whenyouhavedonethat,immediatelyyourassistantalsoimmediatelytextedmeandmadesurethatyou'rerunning10minuteslate,whichisverygood.Thatshowsyoucare.Theycontactedmeontime,givingmetheheadsupyouarefinishinganotherinterview.That'sgreat.

Dave: Awesome.Awesome.

Subir: Anyways,Ishowedupinhisroom.AssoonasIshowedupinhisroom,heisthevicepresidentofqualityofaFortuneHundredCompany.AssoonasIwalkedin,hewaskindofalittlebitdown.

Helookedatmeandhesaid,"Subir,whatwouldyoudoafterusinga'you'restupid?'"

SoIlookedathim,Isaid,"Steve,what'sgoingon?"

Andhesaid,"No,no,no.Iaskedyouaquestion.Canyoupleaseanswer?"

Isaid,"Whatkindofquestionisthat?WhatdoIdoafterusinga'You'restupid?'WhatIdowithit?"

Andhesaid,"Yes."

Isaid,"Hey,look,beforeIrespond..."Itriedtotalkhimoutofit.Isaid,"Look,beforeIrespond,IunderstandthatJDPowerReportcameout,youguysdidnotdoasgoodintheJDPowerReport,isyourbossisupset?Isyourbossisupset?Areyouhavingabadday?Isalreadythewinterstorm?"

Helookedatme,hesaid,"Subir,forgetabouteverything.Iaskedyouaquestion.Answerthequestion."

Theseareclients,sothatmeanshemeansbusiness.Isaid,"Steve,youreallywanttheanswer?"

Hesaid,"Yes."

So,Isaid,"IfIuseatoothpick.Automaticallyafterusingit,Ithrowitinthedustbin."

Sohelookedatmeandhesaid,"Youdon'tthrowitanywhereinthefloor?"

Isaid,"No.Whyyouaskingthisquestion?"

Hesaid"Subir,Iaskthisquestiontothemorningtomysecretary,allmydirectreport,onebyone,theythoughtIwasaskingastupidquestion,butitstill,Idemandedananswerandeverybodysaidtheythrowitonthedustbin.Now,hereIamVicePresidentofQualityofaFortune100company,andyouarehelpingmeonthisqualityprocessimprovement,andIshowedupinthe6inthemorning,inmyboss'office,CEO'soffice,whenI'mcomingoutoftheoffice,youexpectthatmymeaningisbadorgood.Ifoundthatusedtoothpickonthefloor.

SoIsaid"So,whatdoyoudowithit?"

"Ipickeditupandthrowitinthedustbin.Butthepointisthis,pointis,ifIcanfindausedtoothpickonthefloor,infrontofmyCEO'soffice,thattellsme,youmayfind

hundredsoftoothpicksacrossthedepartment,inanyofourdepartment.SoyouknowwhatSubir?Idon'tthinkpeoplecare."

Right?That'sthewayitstarted.Hesaid,"ThatisthereasonourJDPowerReportisbad.Becauseinthemeantimeyouarehelpingusintheprocess,butifourpeopledoesnotcare,thisprocessdoesn'tmakeanysense."

So,Isaid,okaysoheistheone,kindofgavemetheideaaboutthisbookaboutthiscaring.ThereasonImentionthistoyouis,IkindoffeelinAmericaIthink,itisnotonlyinanorganizationinaworkplace,butalsoifyougotothechurchesorinyourcommunity,oreveninpolitics,Ithinkwearenotasstraightforwardanymore.Wearenotopentoeachother.Wearenothonestwitheachother.Thereisalotoffakeculturegoingon,right?I'mveryhonestwithyoubecauseofthat,weasacountryisgivingtheprice.

ThinkofacompanylikeVolkswagen.Volkswagen,itcostthembillionsofdollarsrecentlybecausetheyintentionallyinstalledafaultysoftware,intentionally.Totellthegovernment,becausemindsetthatgovernmentmaynotbeabletocatchthem,weareGermanengineersorwhatever,andultimately,theygetcaught,right?

Dave: Right.

Subir: It'snotonlyVolkswagen.There's11milliondieselcarstheydeliberatelyinstalledthesoftwaretoshowtheiremissionisdoinggood.Canyouimaginethat?Intentionally,intentionally!Thinkaboutthelosstotheenvironment.Theydidn'tcare,right?

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: Thepointisthat,butI'mnotsuggesting.EverysingleemployeeofVolkswagendidsomethingwrong.Butthequestionisthatthere'salotofpeopleouttherewhoaremakingthistypeofdecision,orhidingtheinformationundertherug.Ultimatelythatsurface.

CornellUniversitydidastudy.WhitecollarcrimeinAmericacostsannually$300billiondollars.Billion.Whitecollarcrime,okay?Sothinkabout,thisisnotabluecollar,I'mtalkingaboutwhitecollarcrime,right.Thinkaboutthepurposeofeducation.Youareawhite-collarexecutive,andyou'redoingthecrimeandyou'regraduatingfromHarvardorMITandallofthis.Youknowit'ssad.Youknow?Ithinkthereisthepart,unlesswebecomeastraightforwardtoeachother,unlesswebecomehonestwitheachother,andpracticeit.

Lotofthetimepeopletellme,"OhSubir,mycolleagueis..."

Isay,"Lookdon'tblameonanybodyelse.Blameonyourself."Ifthere'saproblem,Iblametomyselffirst.Itrytosee,"Okay,whatarethethingsI'mdoing,myaction,sothatmylowerlevelisnotasstraightforwardwithme?MaybeI'mcreatingfear.MaybeI'mcreatingtoomuchofpride.HowcanImakesureIcreateaculture?"Becauseifthe

reasonpeopledon'tbecomeastraightforward,tworeasons:Numberoneisthefear.Numbertwoisthepride.

Lotofthetime,fearmeanswhenyougostraightthetopofthetopofthepositionofanorganization,wecreateacultureasif,somebodylowerlevel,weforgetaboutourpastbecausewedon'trememberonetimepointoftimeinourlife,weareinthelowerlevel.Wecreateacultureofthefearculture.I'mnotsuggestingthateverycompanyhasthat,butlotofcompanyhasthatfearculture,fromthebottomtothetop,ormiddle,right?

Theotherissueispride.Lotofthetimeweasanexecutive,wethinkwehavealloftheanswer.EverydaywhenIwakeup,IthinkI'mthedumbestguyintheroom.IfeelthathowdoIknow?HowcanIlearnsomethingfrom,evenI'mcomingoverhere,Iwantedtohearyourstory,soIcanlearnsomethingfromDavebecauseIheardsomanygreatthingsaboutyoufromJay.

Solifeisallaboutthelearningthing.Ishouldnotcomeoverheretoportraytoyou,"I'mTHEexpertofquality."No,I'mtryingtolearnstillquality.

Dave: IwasintriguedwhenIread"TheDifference"becauseyoutalkaboutpridenegativelythere.Somanypeopletelltheirkidsthey'reproudofthem,orthere'sslogansforcompaniesthatarebasedonpride.Yet,you'resayingthatculturallypridemaynotworkaswell?

Subir: No.

Dave: Howdoesthatwork?

Subir: So,thinkaboutthat.Therearetwoconnotationsofpride.Onepride,oneyoudescribedisapositiveconnotation.Thenegativeconnotation,whatI'mtalkingabout,I'mtalkingaboutsupposealotoftheseniorlevelleadership,theyfeelthatiftheydon'tknowsomething,theyshouldgodirectlytotheircolleagueandsay,"Look,Idon'tknowthis.Canyoupleaseteachmethis?"

Dave: Right,right.

Subir: Theydon'tdothat!Iaskthoseexecutives,"Whyyoudon'tdothat?Whyyoupretendthatyouknow?"Supposethere'sapresentationgoingon,andthey'renotgettingthepoint.Theypretendthey'regettingthepoint.Theyasksomevaguequestion,ratherthannotpretendingit,askingasimplequestion,"Hey,Ididn'tunderstandit.Idon'thavethatbackground.Canyoulittlebitexplaintome?"Right?WhenI'msettingthisupinaSkypeittookmelittlebittimeokay?I'mnotatechnologysavvy,orI'mnottechnologicalexpert.Youweretryingtohelpmeout.Youweretellingyourcolleaguetohelpmeout,soittookuscoupleofminutestofigurethisout,right?Idon'thaveanyproblemtotellyouifyousay,"Subir,youdumbguy,youdon'tknowhowtousetheSkype."That'sokaywithme.Thatdoesnothurtmyego.

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: BecauseIdonotwanttopositiontoyou,"Ohmygod,Ihavetoshowittohim.Iknoweverything."No.Someofthisstuffcanhappen.Isendtheotheraudiostuffyouhave,ittookmesometimebecauseit'snotworkingproperly.So,Isentacoupleofemail,"Hey,it'snotworking.Icannotstillconnect."Right?ThereisnothingwrongwithitbecauseIdon'tknow,Ishouldbestraightforwardaboutit.Evenifyouthink,"Idon'tknow",that'sokay.ThatprideI'mtalkingabout.

Dave: So,it'sokaytonotknowsomethingandsomethingI'veworkedonatBulletproofiscreatingaculturewhereit'sokaytofail.

Subir: Yes.Yes.

Dave: It'snotokaytofailthesamewaytwice,becausethatmeansyouweren'tpayingattention.

Subir: Right.

Dave: Butthefirsttimewhenyou'retryingsomethingnew.

Subir: Yes.

Dave: Oryou'repushingyourlimits,Ipraisemykidsforfailingeveryday.Iftheydidn'tfail,itwasn'tagoodday.

Subir: Absolutely,right.

Dave: Myemployeesareveryfarfrommykids.They'remypartnersandtheysupportallthatwedo,atthesametime,iftheydon'tfeelsafefailing,itcomesdowntothatego,andpride,andfearthingthatyou'retalkingabout.

Subir: No,theotherthingwhathappenthateveninthelargecorporation,lotofthetimesomeoftheleadersIfind,orsomeofthemanagers,justtogetthehighestposition,theydocertainthingandkindofdeceitful,ordishonesttotheothercolleaguestogettothetopposition,whichisnotgood.Igaveanexampleof,Italkaboutthestory,inthestoryItalkaboutagentlemannamedNick.Hewasanexecutive.WhenImethimfirsttime,hewasamiddlemanagerlevel.Bythetimehepasseddayjob51,52,suddenlydiagnosedwithcancer,andnowthisgentleman,thinkaboutthis.Hiswholelifeheledhislifeatanycost,atanycost,hewantstowin,right?

Dave: Right.

Subir: So,hetookallthecreditforallofhiscolleague'sworksandpresentedtohisboss,andmadesurethosecolleaguesdoesn'tgetanyofthosecredits,right?Hehadtheguy...heultimatelygottothetopposition,nodoubtaboutit.HegottotheChiefPurchasingOfficerwhatever,suddenlyhediagnosedwithcancer,right?Attheageof51,right?Thenheinvitedme,whenhebrokethestoryprivatelysayingthatdoctortoldhimhe

hadonlytwoweekstolive,he'saskingmehesaid,"Subir,youhavebeenmentoringmeforsolong.Canyouteachmehowtoearnforgiveness?"

Dave: That'samazing.

Subir: Isaid,"Whatdoyoumeanbythat?"

Hesaid,"Subir,youneedtoteachme.Ihaveonlytwoweeksleft.Canyouteachmehowtoearnforgiveness?"

Isaid,"Forgivenessfromwho?"

Hesaid,"Subir,youknowhowIearnthischair.Youusedtocometome,Ineverlistentoyou.Youusedtotellmeallthegreatthing,heyno,youshouldnotbehurtfultothisperson.DoyourememberthisAudrey?Sheleftthejob.Shenowworkformycompetition,andthatwholeparticularproductwascompletelydonebyher.Itookallthecredit.Igottothetopposition,andultimatelyAudreyfeltthatIwasstealingherideas,andultimatelyshecouldnotdoanything,andthensheleftthecompany.Now,Icannotdie,Icannotdiewithpeacefulness.CanIcallher?WhatshouldIdo?Doyouthinkthatshewillforgiveme?"

Isaid,"Whydon'tyoucallAudrey?"

Ultimately,hecalledAudreyandNickandAudreytalk.Idon'tknowwhatthepart,ultimatelywhattheconversationtookplace,butthebottomlineisthatIsawAudreycametohisfuneralandwascryinglikeababy.Thepointis,whatthisgentlemandid,heultimatelysurvivessixmonthsinsteadoftwoweeks.Butultimately,hetriedhislevelbesttoleadastraightforwardlife.Toleadanhonestlife.ThereisagentlemannamedRandyPausch,he'stheauthorofthebookcalled"TheLastLecture".

Dave: Yes.

Subir: He'saCarnegieMellonProfessor.Right?Youremember?

Dave: Yes.

Subir: Hesaidsomethingveryprofound.Hesaid,"Itisinterestingthesecretsyoudecidetorevealattheendofyourlife."Right?Thatmeanswhenourdaysarenumbered,wetendtobecomestraightforward.Myargumentoverhereisthat,theseareonelife.Trytobehonesttoeachother.That'sit.ThereisthefirstelementoftheSTAR.

Whateverwedo,letusbehonestwitheachother.Like,eveninthe...rightnoweverythinggoingoninAmericaaboutthepoliticalsituation,withDemocratandtheyhateRepublicans,RepublicanshateDemocratsandallthisstuff.Everythingtheytalkaboutbad.LikewhenObamawaspresident,youknow?Republicansaretalkingabouthowbadhe,likeObamais.NowTrumpisthepresident.Ultimately,thecountryispayingtheprice.Ultimately,thecountryissuffering.Alotofthefakenesscomingoutof

itbecauseourgoalisto...howtoputsomebodyelsedown.Ratherthannotthinkingabouthowwecanbehonestwitheachother.That'swhatthatstraightforwardnessisallabout.

Dave: NowpeoplewhoarelisteningaregettingasenseofwhyIthinkthatit'sworththeirtimetoread"TheDifference",becauseyoutellstorieslikethisthatcanalmostbringateartoyoureye.Thisisabookaboutcorporateleadership.

Subir: Yes.

Dave: Andaboutculture,butthestoriesarereal.Thesearefromverypowerfulexecutives,CEO'sofFordandcompanieslikethat.Butthisissomethingthateveryonelisteningcanpayattentionto,whichis,ifyou'reholdingagrudge,oryouwrongedsomeoneandbenefitedfromit.Youthinkit'snotcostingyou?No,itdoescostyou.Everytimeyoutrollsomeoneontheinternet,everytimeyouwasteyourenergyhatingsomepersoninsomepoliticaloffice,Idon'tevencarewhichpartyitis.Thatenergyiscomingbacktoyou.

Subir: Exactly.Exactly,yesDave.Thatissocritical.ThenmynextpointwithintheSTAR,likestraightforwardandthethoughtful.Thoughtfulisallabout...mygoal,eventhethoughtfulinmyviewpointismuchmoreattentivetoothers,consideratetoothers,unselfish,helpfultoothers.It'snotmyintent,it'snotliketopretendthatIcantransformthewholehumanraceoreverybodytobecome,actlikeaMotherTheresa.Thatisnotmygoal,right?

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: Thatisnotmygoal,right?Butmygoalisthatifyou...whenisthelasttimeyougotoyourcolleagueandsay,andputyourhandontheirshoulderandsay,"Heybuddy,youlooklikeyoualittlebitdown.Hey,canIhelpyou?Youlookalittlebitdown.Normally,you'reacheerfulguy,andtodayyouaredown.What'shappeningbuddy?IsthereanywaycanItakeyouforlunch?"or,"CanIhaveacoffee?".

Nowwhatwedo,whenthereisa...incorporation,nowyougoaroundduringlunchtime,wearelookingatouriPhonelikethis.Wearesittinghavinglunch,andiPhonelikethisright?Notthinkingaboutthat,shouldwebethoughtfultoeachother,right?OneofthestoryItalkaboutinthebookaboutthethoughtfulness,IwastakingaflightfromLosAngelestoDetroitandobviously,Ifeelverylucky.Myairtravel,orthetravelexpensesalwayspaidbyclient,andInormallygetfirst-classcabin.

Dave: Right.

Subir: Igetintotheflight.Iwasontheaisleseat,andeverybodyisgettingintotheflight,andtheninthefirst-classcabinthey'reservingthedrinks,rightasyouknow.They'reservingthedrinks.Now,thereisanoldergentleman,likemaybe75,80yearsoldgentleman.Hetooktheseatonthefirstrowontheeconomy,right?Henoticedthatwehavebeenserveddrinks,soheaskedtheflightattendantforaglassofwater.

Hesaid,"CanIgetaglassofwater?"

Flightattendantlookedathimandsaid,"Look,wedon'tserveanydrinktotheeconomyclasspassengersuntiltheflighttakesoff."

Helookedatheragainandsaid,"Ma'am,Iunderstand.I'mlookingforaglassofwater.I'mverythirsty.Ittookmesolongtowalkoverhere.CanIjustgetaglassofwater?"

Shejustgavealooksaying,"Ialreadytoldyou."

Now,thereisagentleman,younggentleman,justsittinganotheraislechairinthefirst-classcabin.Whathedid,heimmediatelywentinandpouredaglassofwater,andthenservedtothatperson.ThereasonItellthatstory,it'snotaboutthat,okay,thestewardessisnotthoughtfulanddidnotservethem.Thatisonepartofthestory.Secondpartofthestory,IwasblamingmyselfwhyIdidnotbecomethatyoungmanwhoservedthatglassofwater,right?

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: So,Iwasblamingmyself,whyinmybrainIdidnottakethatchanceandtakethatstep.Ithinkthat'svery,veryimportantbecauseinthisprocess,thereasonI'mexplainingthistoyou,becausebeingthoughtfulisatwo-stepprocess.Firststepislistening,okay?Ididnotlisten.Ihearwhathewassaying,butinmybrainIdidnotadoptitaslistening.Mostofthetimewhenyou'retalking,you'recontinuouslyhearingeachother,butyou'renotlistening.

Whenwetrulylisten,thatmeansweareputtingourselfinsomebodyelse'sshoes.Thenyouwilllisten,right?

Dave: Right.

Subir: Assoonasyouareputtingyourselfinsomebodyelse'sshoe,thatmeansyouarelisteningtothatperson.Ididnotlisten,right?Thinkaboutthatpart.Thisincidenthappenedalmosttwoyearsago,andyouknowthatrecentstoryaboutUnitedandallthisright,draggingthepassengerandallthisstuff,right?Thatevenvalidatedmoreaboutmybook,becauseIdidn'teventalkaboutthatsideofthestory.Thatisevenworse!Buteventhinkingaboutnotservingthat,doyouthinkthatparticularairlinefiredthatflightattendantifsheservedthatdrinkofwatertoa75-yearold?No.Buttheprobleminoursocietynow,wedon'tcareanymore.

So,everysingledaywhenIwakeup,everysingledaywhenIwakeup,Ijustaskmyselfonlyonething:whatistheonethingIcandotoanotherhumanbeing?WhatistheonethingpositiveIcandotoanotherhumanbeing?Thinkaboutthatway.Thinkaboutanyofyourlistener,theythinkanything,soeven...WhathappensiswhenIdothat,lotofthetimeImightbedrivinginthestreetandsuddenlyIsawthecops,right?Ijuststopby,introducemyselfandsaid,"Sir,thankyousomuchforservinginourcommunity.Ireallyappreciateit."ThisguythoughtI'macrazyguy,butIstillwantedtogivemy

positiveenergytothisperson,andsinceeveryminute.Youknow,everysingledayifyouthinkaboutwhatistheonethingyoucandobetterforanotherhumanbeing,lifewouldbegood,youknow?

Dave: Thatremindsmeoftwothings,Subir.Oneis,whenIinterviewedJayAbrahamonBulletproofRadio,hetalkedabouthowwhenhegoestoJapan,ortoChina,he'llgotoeveryfloorandmeetthemaids,andjustsaythankyou.Eventhoughtheydon'tnecessarilyunderstandthesamelanguage,andhowitcompletelygiveshimenergy,butalsohowitmakestheirdayaswell,justbybeingawareandthoughtfullikethat.

Theotherthingis,whenItaughtmykids,"Namethreethingsyou'regratefulfor,onethingyoufailedat,whichIpraisegreatly,onethingyouwonat,andthenoneactofkindnessforanotherperson."Theylistthateverysinglenight.It'sthatactofkindnessthat'sapartofourbedtimeritual,thatI'mworkingtoinstillthatinthem,becauseIthinkitmatters.

Subir: Itmattersyes.

Dave: Justbeingawarethatyoudidsomething.Iftheygothroughandsay,"Ididn'tdoanythingniceforanotherperson."Whenyou'reseven,youcanalwaysfindsomething,"Ididthedishes!"Butitgetsmorecomplexastheygrow,andIwouldliketoseemoreofthatinoursociety.Ifundamentallybelievethatifyou'restressedoutandhungryandyou'reeatingcrap,andyou'reinpollution,it'sveryhardtobekindtoothersbecauseyou'rejusttootired.That'spartofmymissionistofixthat.

Subir: Right.So,thereisthethinglikewhenyougotoalargeorganization,youmaynotfindthat.

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: Lotofthetimeyoudon'tfindthatthoughtfulness,soifyoucanreallybringthemin.Thenyouwillfind,"wow".Thethingis,itisnot...youcannotbelikepointfingeringeachother,ratherthanyoupointfingeratyourselfandyousay,"Look,whatcanIdo?Idon'tneedsomebodyelsetoteachmeaboutthoughtfulness."Itcanbe,averysmallgesturematter,youknow?

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: Thatisthewholepoint.Afterreading"TheManuscript",oneoftheexecutiveofaFortune100companyinvitedmetodiscussaboutthedifference.Isaidokay,soIshowedupinhisoffice,andIasked,andhewaspraisingaboutthebook.Isaid,"Heylook,praisingaboutthebookalotmademehappy.Tellmewhatistheoneortwothingsyouhavedonebyreadingthebookthatyoupractice,oryouwantedtodiscusswithme."Hesaid,"Subir,tobeveryhonestwithyou"...outofthefourelementItalkaboutstraightforward,thoughtful,accountable,andtheresult.Outofthesefour,tellmeoneareayouaredoingprettygood,Iaskedhim.Thatyouareveryproudaboutyourself.

Hesaid,"Veryhonestwithyou,IgotochurcheveryweekandIthinkeverybodytellsmeI'maverythoughtfulguy."

Isaid,"Okay.ShouldItakeyourtest?"

Hesaid,"Sure."Hesaid,"Sure!"

Isaid,"Okay,I'mgoingtotakeyourtestonthoughtfulness."

Hesaid,"Okay."

Ijustgenerally,Isaid,"Heyyouknowyouworkveryhard.Iknowyouforalongtime.LasttimewhenIengagedwithyouforalmosttwoyears,Ididn'tseeyouasingledayyoutookavacation.Areyoustillworkinghardlikethat?"

Hesaid,"Yeah,yeah,yeah."

SoIsaid,"Whenisthelasttimeyoutookavacation?"

Hesaid,"Believeitornot,Ifinallytookavacationabouttwoweeksago."

Isaid,"Okay,tellmeaboutyourvacation."WhathedidDave,hetalkedfor15minutesnon-stopabouthisvacationandsoexcitedandeverythingelse.AfterIlistenedtoallofthis,Isaid,"Thankyousomuchforsharingyourpositiveenergywithme.I'msopleasedtoknowyouhadablastonyourvacation."

Isaid,"Look,youbookedmeforonehour.Iaskyouasimplequestion,"Heywhatdidyoudoonyourvacation?"Younon-stoptalkfor15minutesaboutyourvacation.Thankyou.Yougavemesomepositiveenergy,but15minutesgone.Letmeaskyouthis,"whatpersonthink,orhowmanyminutesyouspendtalkingaboutthisvacationstories,yourvacationpositiveenergy,yougaveittoyourdirectreports."

Helookedatmeandhesaid,"Subir,youknowourcompanyculture."

Isaid,"Excuseme,whatdoyoumeanbyyourcompanyculture?"

Hesaid,"Subir,wedon'ttalklikethatway.Icannot,I'mtheexecutiveinthislevel.Icannottalktomydirectreportsaboutmyvacation."

Isaid,"Whynot?"Isaid,"Letmeaskyouanotherquestion.IfIdiedtoday,areyougoingtoflyfromDetroittoLosAngelestoattendmyfuneral?"

Hesaid,"Idon'tthinkso.IfIhaveajobandIdon'thavethatkindofrelation,Iwanttobehonestwithyou."

Isaid,"Youknowwhat,Iappreciateyourhonesty.ImaynotalsocometoyourfuneralbecauseifIhaveanotherconsultorengagementbecausewearenotthatclose,butlet

measkyouthis.Ifyoudiedtoday,doyouthinkyourdirectreportswouldgotoyourfuneral?"Iaskedhim.

Hesaid,"Subir,Ithinkso."

Isaid,"Thinkaboutthis.HereIam,youshareyourpositiveenergyfor15minutestalkingtomeandgivingyourpositiveenergywhereyouknowinyourheartI'mnotevenattendyourfuneral,andthepeoplethatworkeverysingleday,givingtheir110%tomakeyousuccessful,andyouarenotsharingyourpositiveenergy,oryourvacationwiththem.Whatiswrongwithyou?"

Hesaid,"Subir,whatshouldIdo?"

Isaid,"Youchangethesystem.Youbecomeyourownself,thechange.Soyouchangethesystem."BelieveitornotDave,lastsixmonths,he'stryingtodothat;continuouslytryingtodohislevelbest.DoyouknowwhatI'msaying?

Dave: Ido.I'mgoingtoblatantlyaskyouforsomefreeconsultingnow.

Subir: Sure.

Dave: I'vebeenworkingonthatatBulletproofaswell,andoneofthethingswedo,whentheseniorleadershipteamgetstogetheronourweeklycall,wespendthefirstfewminuteswhereeveryoneontheteamtalksaboutsomethingthey'regratefulfor.MeetingsareusuallyonaMondayorFriday.Itcanbe,"I'mgratefulwehadthebestweekeveratwork."Butit'squiteoften,"Mydaughtergraduatedfromhighschoolorgotmarried"or"Itwassunnythisweekendandjustwentoutwiththefamily."

Wetalkaboutstufflikethat.Itactuallychangesthetoneofthemeetings.It'sreallypowerfulandallthat,atthesametimesometimesyouonlyhaveanhourandyou'vealreadyspent15minutesofthehourwithpeoplesharingtheirgratitude,andthenyoudon'tgettheworkdone.So,howdoyoubalancethatoutwhenyouhaveagroupofpeoplelikethat?Theenergyisvaluable,butgettingthemeetingdoneisvaluableaswell.

Subir: See,alotofthetimeitdependsonthesituation.So,thequestionwillbe,alotofthetimewhatyouhavetodoisthatdependingonyourorganization,ifyou'retheCEO,youmaynothavetodoiteverysingledayoreverysingleweek,butwhatyoudoisevenwhenyoucomeoutofthevacationorsomethingyoudidsignificantlygoodoutsideofyourwork,youcominginandyoucallingeverybodysaying,"Heybuddies,ImissyouguysforlasttwoweeksIwasonvacation.IwenttoEurope,comeover.Iwanttotalkwithallofyou."Thenyoushareyourstory;whatyouhavedonethatexcitedyou.Tellthemyougenuinelymissthemifyoudidmissthem,oryourwork.

Ifitisnot,thenyoudon'ttellthem.Thenyoutellthem,"Youknowwhat,Ihadamiserabledayatthattimeoverthereonthisassignment,andIwantedtosharewithyouguys,I'malreadystressedout.Iwanttobeverybluntwithyou,sowhatIexpect

fromyouguys,Imightbescreamingatallofyou,Imightberidetoallofyou.Don'tbepissedofforanythinglikethat,becauseI'minabadstateofmind.Iwantedyouguys.Istillloveyouguys,butIneedtosharewithyoubecauseIhadabadtimewiththattwoweeks."

So,behonestandIthinkbecauseyouaredemonstratingyourauthenticity,andwithoutanywarning,withoutanyformalway.Ifyoudoitinaformalway,youmaynotgetthatinformationbecausewhatwillhappenwillbe,whenyouputasasystemthateverytime,oreveryday,oreveryweek,theyhavetoreport.Whathappens?"Ohmygod,todaywehavetogotothemeeting."Thesepeoplewillbetalkingabout,"HeisgoingtoaskwhatI'mgratefulfor,"

No.Ratherthan,withoutanypreparation,suddenlyyouaskthemoryougoforawalk.LotofthetimewhatIdidinlotoftheverylargecorporation,Ievenpushtheseniorleadership,pushthemoutoftheirofficeandtoldthemtogoforawalkontheirdepartment.Theydon'tknowhowtoreact!Itoldthem,"Behuman.Justgothereandputyourhandtoaguy."

"They'llbeshakingup."

Isaid,"That'sokay.Iftheyshakeupsay'buddy,whyyoushakenup?'"

"Yeah,yeah,yeahI'mthis.I'mVicePresidentofthis,andyou'reanengineer."

"Sowhatbuddy.Let'stalkaboutit."

Treatthemasahuman.Theproblemisthatthemore,moreIfeeltheCEO'sorChiefFinancialOfficer,anyoftheseniorleaders,moretheycanbringtheirhumanperspectivetotheworkplace,they'llbebetter.LikeMotherTheresathinkaboutthat.Shenever,evenwhenshewenttoNobelPrizeCeremony,shewasstilltalkingfromherheartthatshedidn'tdoanything.Shedidnothing.SheisstillinpainbecausetherearestillsomanypeoplearedyinginthestreetofCalcutta.Thatisbotheringher,youknowwhatI'msaying?

So,anywaythenextpointIwantedtotalkwithyouabouttheaccountable.

Dave: Yeah,let'stalkaboutaccountability.

Subir: Accountableismuchmoreliketakingapersonalresponsibility,right?Traditionally,especiallyinalargecompanyorasmallcompany,whentheproblemhappened,ourmentalityis,"It'snotmyproblem.It'sallsomebodyelse'sproblem,right?"Thenyoucomeupwithyourstories,howyoucangetoutofit.Ratherthanweneversay,"Hey,thisisanorganizationI'mworkingfor,evenifmycolleaguescrewedup,youknowwhatmypaycheckiscomingfromthiscompany.IthinkIshouldgothereandIshoulddefense...nonono.Problemalsobelongtome."Questionisthatwedon'tfeelthatweareaccountableenough.Iwantedtomentiontoyou,aquoteMotherTheresasaid,amazing

quote.Shesaid,"Donotwaitforleaders,doitalone."Donotwaitforleaders,doitalone.

WhenMotherTheresadidwhatshedid,wemadeherasaintlater,aftershedied,right?

Dave: Mm-hmm(affirmative).

Subir: But,sheneverwenttoCatholicchurchorpope,orwhatevertoaskthem,"Pope,Iwanttosavesomelives,andthenIwanttobeanun."Shedidn'tsayanyofthat.Shejustwentthereandshefoundsomepeoplearedyingandshewantstogivethemthefood,andtrytogivethemahand.That'sit.Oneatatime,right?SoIthinktherealquestionwouldbeanyproblemyousee,ifyoualwaysthinkyouarepersonallyresponsible,personallyaccountable,youcanmakeadifference.

Letmegiveyouaphenomenalstory,infactyouwouldbesurprised.Sheisoneofmyhero,andshe'sonly13yearsold.Thirteenyearold.A13-yearoldChicagogirl,hernameisTrishaPrabhu,Chicagogirlshemightbe16,17now.Sheonedaycomingfromschool,andshefoundoutan11-yearoldgirldied,committedsuicidebecauseofcyberbullying.Shereadthat.AssoonasTrishareadthat,a13-yearoldgirlreadthatinanotherstatean11-yearoldgirldiedbecauseofcyberbullying,shebasicallysaidenoughisenough.

Shesaid,"Idon'tcare.Thatmeansmyparents,itdoesn'tmatterwhattheysay.Theycannothelpme."Alloftheseadults,shegaveup.Shesaid,"I'mhavetogotothefrontline.I'mgoingtosolvetheproblem."Thenwhatshedidshestartedresearching,researching,researching,longstoryshortshecameupwithanappcalledRethinkandyoucancheckthisout,Rethink,okay?Whatitdidisthat,whatshefoundouttheadolescentbrainwhenthey'retryingtodosomethingifyouputawallinfrontofthem,90%ofthetimetheywillstop.Theywillnotdoit.Rethinkwhatitdoes,anytimeyouusesocialmediayouaretypingsomethingnegative,whichmightbeaheartfeltmessagetosomebody,ifyouhaveaRethinkapp,Rethinkappwillcometoyouandsay,"Areyousureyouwanttoputthismessageanditwillharmsomebodyelse?"

Doyouknowwhatistheresult?Ninety-threepercentofpersonwhousethisappdecidednottopostharmfulmessage.Thinkaboutthat.

Dave: Thatis...thatishuge.Wow.

Subir: Thatishuge,right?AndnowFacebook,Google,andeverybodyispromoting.Trishabecamebigherointothiscommunity.Sheisgivingspeechesallovertheworld.Now,thinkaboutthat.A13-yearoldgirlwantstotakethepersonalresponsibilityintheirhand."I'maccountableforit."Ifyouaskmetoday,amIoptimisticaboutAmerica,everythinggoingup,Isay,"Absolutely,110%I'moptimistic."Why?SubirWhy?EventhisParisdealdidn'tgothrough,thisthateverythingstillI'moptimistic.

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: Becauseifyoueverysingledaywhenyouwakeupandyouthinkthatyoucanmakeadifference,andifthereisaproblemIkindoffeelthathowIcanmakeadifferencemyself.Iwantedtoreachout.Forexamplerightnow,oneofthethingIwanted,becausethecurrentU.S.presidentIknowhimverywell,wedidsome...wehadabusinessrelationshipinthepast.I'mtryingtotalkwiththem,ifthere'sanyoneparticulardepartmentinfederalgovernmentIcanmakeadifferenceforprocessimprovement.Becauseyouknow,theirprocessisbroken.Ipassionatelybelievedinit,andIwantedtomakeadifference.DoyouknowwhatI'msaying?

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: Ithinkpersonalaccountabilityalwayscomesto,youknowItalkaboutfivethings.Beingawareofsomethingneedstobedone.Thatisnumberone.Numbertwoisthetakingthepersonalresponsibility.Numberthreewouldbeyouhavetomakeachoiceoradecisiontoactonit,andnumberthreewouldbeyouhavetothinkaboutverydeeply,whatistheconsequencesofyouraction?Lotofthetime,wecomeupwithsomething.LikeifIknowmymessagemightbehurtfultoyou,amIpausingandthinking,"YouknowwhatIdon'twanttooffendDave.Thismaynotbetherightthingtodo."DoyouknowwhatI'msaying?Wedon'ttakethattime.Soeven,supposeyouareevenadifferentpoliticalparty,I'madifferentpoliticalpartyandwehaveabigfight.Ishouldnotoffendyouinanyway.Weshouldhaveadifferentviewpoint,butthatdoesn'tmeanthatwehavetooffendeachother.DoyouknowwhatI'msaying?

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: Butthat'swhatisgoingoninsocietyrightnow.Thefifththingisthat,whenyoutakethepersonalaccountabilityyoualwayshavetosetthehighexpectation.

Dave: Theideaofbeingaccountableforwhatyourwordsdo,it'sentirelypossibletodisagree.Iseethisallofthetimeintheworldofnutritionandbio-hacking.Wheresomeonewhodisagreeswithyouimmediatelygetsattacked,andit'slike,"No.Wemightdisagreeonscience,butI'vehadpeopleonwhopromoteWholeFoodveganismandthingsthatIknowbiologicallydon'tworkformanypeople."

Subir: Sure.

Dave: ButI'mhappytohavetheconversationtodisagree,andtobecordialandrespectful.

Subir: Yes,yes.

Dave: Andthat'showsciencehappens.Assoonasyougetthetribalstuff,whichisfunnybecauseyourfirstthingaboutbeingstraightforward,youcanbestraightforwardinanon-aggressive,non-harmfulwayandstillgetthingsdone.

Subir: Yes,yes.

Dave: Andwhatyou'retalkingaboutaccountabilityhere,ifyourstraightforwardandyou'reatotaljerk,youdidn'tdoitright.

Subir: Youareabsolutelyright.

Dave: Youdidn'thitit.

Subir: Yes,yes,yes,yes.Theyarekindofinterconnectedtoo.

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: Andthat'swhywhenJayreadthebookorTonyreadthebook,theyfelteveryoneofthoseelementisalsokindofdependentoneachother.Theyhaveasymbioticrelationship,youknow?

Dave: Theydohaveasymbioticrelationship.That'swhyIthinkit'saprofoundbookthatgoesfarbeyondleadership,andthat'swhyit'saBestSeller.Also,Iprobablydidn'tgiveyouthebestintroductionherebecausesomethingelsethatyouwriteabout,you'reveryhumbleinyourwriting.Youtalkabouthowin1991,youcametotheU.S.toattendgraduateschool.

Subir: Right.

Dave: Youflewfor56hoursfromBangladesh,whichisoneofthepoorestcountriesintheworld,andyou'relookingtosavemoney.Whathappenedwhenyougothere?Thereasonyouknowyouarethewayyouare,it'sanamazingalmostunbelievablestory,butit'sreal.So,whathappenedwhenyoulanded?

Subir: Yeah.Right,sothatismystoryaboutresolve.Youknow,thelastpartofthebook.

Dave: Yeah,yeah.

Subir: Thinkaboutthis.Icameoverthereandmyprofessortoldmethat,"IfyoucometoAmerica,ifyoucometothecollegeatleasttwoweeksprior,thenyouhaveaveryhighchanceofgettingthescholarshipbecauseIwantedtoworkwithyou,andthenyoudon'thavetoworryaboutyourtuition,nothing."

Isaid,"Okay."SoItrustedhim.Ideclinedalltheotherschools,andIcameovertherewiththeprofessor.AssoonasIwalkedin,Icamethreeweeksearly,insteadoftwoweeksbecauseIwantedtoimpresshim.Iwantedtoworkforfreeforthreeweeks.

AssoonasIwalkedintohisofficehelookedatmeandhesaid,"Hey,yousupposedtocomenextweek.Whyyoucomeoneweekearly?"

Isaid,"Sir,youtoldmetwoweeksearly.IcamethreeweeksearlybecauseIwantedtoworkmoreforyou,sothatyoumightgettoknowmeevenbetter,andyouarenotpayingmethescholarship.Itwillstartthreeweeksfromnow."

Hesaid,"Hey.Ineedtotellyousomething.Unfortunately,thescholarshipwasgiventosomebodyelse."

ThisismyfirstdayinAmerica.FirstdayinAmerica!I'mthefirstgenerationfrombothmyparentsside.ThefirstpersonwhocametoU.S.in1991,right?

Dave: Wow.

Subir: Idon'thaveanyotherrelativessonobody.LateronmysistermigratedafterIcame,butnobody.Ofcourse,Iknowsomecollegefriendsorwhatever.Theycamealittlebitbeforeme.But,hereIamandIwasdeclinedandyouwouldthink...soIcried,Idideverythingpossibletoconvincetheprofessorthat"Sir,youcannotdothat.Idon'thaveanymoney."

Hesaid,"Sorry.I'msosorryitdidnotworkout."

Icametomyroom,andIfeltthatthisisnotthereasonthatIcametoAmerica.Isaid,"MaybeIhaveachoice."AlotoftheotherinternationalstudentsItalkedwith.SomeIndians,andBangladeshistheycometomeandtheysay,"Subirdon'tworryaboutit.Youcanworkillegally.Youcan..."

Isaid,"Nope!Idon'twanttobeillegal."

"Youcanmakesomemoney."

Isaid,"Nope!Idon'twanttobeillegal."

ThenwhatIdid,IwentinandIkindofmeditatemyself,andthenIthought,"I'mgoingtogoafterthismyself,andresolvethis."Ichallengedtomyself,sayingthatI'mgoingtoresolveit,becausethisisAmerica.EverythingIreadinthebook.EverythingIseeinthetelevisionandeverythingelse,thisisAmerica.ThereisnowaysomanypeopleintheworldtalkabouttheAmericanDream,andit'sunreal.Isaid,"Thatcannotbetrue.Ihavetoresolveit.MaybeitisatestIhavetogothrough."

WhatIdid,Iwenttoeverysingledepartment,everysingledepartmentIthinkit'slike23or24departmentIwent.Tryingtoconvincethem,whatcanIdoforthem?Ultimately,afterthe22ndor23rddepartment,mathematicsdepartmenttheheadchairman.Iwashumiliatedwithinthatprocess.IwenttoEnglishdepartment,Journalismdepartment,andIhadadegreeinAerospaceEngineeringwhenIcame,right?I'mtryingtoconvinceallofthem,andIwasrejected,rejected,rejected.Someprofessorssay,"Areyououtofyourmind?Justdon'twastemytime.Getlost."Likethat.Wenttoallthese.Ultimately,stillIdidn'tgiveup.Mathematicsdepartmentchairlistentomeandhesaid,"Wow.Youwentto22department?Youbadlyneededthemoney."

Isaid,"Sir,yessir."

Hesaid,"Howaboutthis?I'llgiveyousomeloan."

Isaid,"Nosir.Ihavetoearnonmyown.IgraduatedfromoneofthetopschoolsinIndiacalledII.Ineedto..."

Hesaid,"Okay,look.I'mgoingtointroduceyoutofaculty.There'snoguarantee.Rightnowthereisafellowshipthatwillbegiven,buttheyareinterviewingalotofcandidates,butitmightbetoolate,butwemaystillgiveyouachance.Lookslikeletusdiscuss."

Okay.Longstoryshort,isthatheintroducedmeaprofessor,thenIwenttotheinterviewprocessforthreeorfourinterviewprocesses.Ultimately,onlyonestudenthastobeselected,andIgotselectedbyDowChemical.ItistheDowChemicalFellowship.DowpaidformywholeMaster'sdegree.

Dave: Isthatwhytheycallitanendowment?

Subir: Yeah,yeah,yeah,rightright.

Dave: Sorry.

Subir: Itisafellowshipondoingtheresearchonpolymer.Onpolymer!

Dave: Okay,wow.Asanaerospaceengineer,whichisnotevenyour...yeah.

Subir: YouknowwhatIdidafterImetwiththeprofessoroneIfindoutwhatisthetopicoftheresearch?Fromthatprofessor'sroom,threedayslaterI'msupposedtohaveaninterviewwiththeDowresearcher.Non-stopfortwodaysIwasinthelibrary,constantlyreadingandstartedteachingmyselfpreparingfortheinterviewonthepolymerresearchonpolymer.Ultimately,thepointis,notonlyithelpedme,plusthatresearch,thatgraduateresearchgottheBestThesisAwardfortheuniversitywhenIgraduated.

Thenoneafteranothercame,butthepointisthatthinkaboutatthatmoment.Evenatthattime,Iwasshortageof$200beforethefellowshipkicksin.Iwasshortageof$200.Iwenttoabank.Bankrejected,rejected,right?Then,ItriedmylevelbestsoItoldthismanagerlookingatherandsaid,"Ma'am."

Shesaid,"Doyouhaveacollateral?"

Isaid,"Ma'am,IjustlandedinAmerica.Idon'tknowanybody.Whatdoyoumeanbycollateral?Howaboutyou?Youbecomemycollateral."

Shesaid,"I'mthebankmanager."

Isaid,"Sowhat?IfI'myourbrother,doyouthinkthatyou'llnotbecome..."

Shelookedatmeandshesaidsheremembered.

Isaid,"Ma'amifyoueverchangeyourmind,whydon'tyoucallme."Ileftthat.

Next,shecouldnotsleepwholenight.SheremembersbecauseItoldherthat,"IfI'myourbrother,areyougoingtodeclineme,youloanmemycollateral?WhydoyouthinkthatI'mnotyourbrother?"Andshe'sawhite,Michiganlady,right,AmericanladyandhereIamlandedinAmerica.She'sthefirstpersonIinvitedformygraduationceremony.

Dave: Ah!

Subir: ThinkaboutthatwhenIgraduated,becausethat$200inmyviewpointismuchmoreneeded,I'mmuchmoredesperateforthatthenevenrightnowforlike$20,000.YouknowwhatI'msaying?

Dave: Ohyeah.Iknowexactlywhatyou'resaying.Here'saquestionthough.Irunavery,high-endexecutivebranchtrainingfacility.YourstoryremindsmealotofVishenLakhiani,who'srunMindvalley,who'sthelargestonlinemeditationthing.Tensofmillionsofpeoplelookathisstuff.He'safriend.AndI'velookedatthebrainofotherpeoplewho'vebeenabletoenactchange,eveninsomewhatdesperatecircumstances,likethat,andtherearecommonthingsinthosepeople'sbrains.Theyhavetheabilitytojustmakeithappen,inawaythatitisnon-linear,anditisnon-obviously,butit'sapredictablebrainpattern.Youprobablyhavethat.Iwouldbetasubstantialsumthatifwelookedatyourbrainwaves,thatIcouldpredictatleastadirectionalthingthere.

Subir: Maybe,yeah.

Dave: Doyouthinkthateveryoneouttherewithresolvewillgetsimilarresults?Wasitjustresolve,orthatyouhaveaninnateabilitytomakestuffhappenthat'sunique.

Subir: That'sanexcellentquestion.Iobviously,I'mnotthescientificresearcher,andobviouslythereisaCarolDweckwroteabookcalled"TheMindset".

Dave: Yes.

Subir: AStanfordUniversityprofessor,whichkindofinspiredmetowritethisdifferenceaswell.Carolsaidsomethingveryprofoundaftertheresearchanddoingallofthisresearch.Whatshesaidisthat,"Youcanchangeyourmind.Youcandoit,ifyouhavetheattitude."

Dave: Yes.

Subir: Thatconvinceme.Thatconvinceme.OneofthethingIalwaystalkabout,ifyouaskmewhoismyleadershipguru,orwhoisthepeopleIadmirethemost,orwhotaughtmeonleadership.HonestlyitwasverytoughquestionbecausewhenIwasfinishingmymanuscript,afterIfinishedthemanuscriptafterwritingthefirstfivechaptersof"TheDifference",whenIsentittomyeditoratRandomHouse,afterhereadit,Rogercame

backtomeandsaidthat,"Subir,Iloveit.Everythingisgreatafterthefifthchapter,butyouhavetodoubleupanotherchapter."

Isaid,"Forwhat?"

Hesaid,"Ritawantstoknowaboutyourownstory.WhotaughtyouthisSTARprinciple.Canyousharethat?"

Isaid,"Thatisagoodquestion."

Hesaid,"You'llfigureitout."

Isaid,"Ohmygod."ThenIwentinandItriedtofigureitout.Whoisthefoundation?Doyouknowwhat?Thereisonlythreepeoplecameout:Myfather,mymother,andmygrandfather.Noneoftheleadershipguru,noneoftheJackWelch,orMarshal[inaudible01:00:00],nobody.Whythem,right?ThereasonisthatwhatIfeltsomeoftheingredientorgamesmygrandfatherplayed,infactinthebookItalkaboutmygrandfatherusedtogivemeacoinandapen.Hesaid,"Subir,chooseoneofthetwo."EverytimeIchoosethecoin,hesaid"Subir,neverchoosecoin.Alwayschoosepen."

Isaid,"Why?"

"Becauseonceyouchoosethecoin,whateverthepurchaseyoumake,afterthatisdone.Butinpen,ifyouchoosethepen,itcontinuestocreate.Yourpenyouarewriting,firstbeanexample,youcanwriteallthewayuptoyourgraduateprogramexam.Samepen."

Atthattime,Ididn'tunderstandthedetailsofit.Butwhathealsosaid,hesaid"Penalsocreate,sothinkaboutthisway.Ifyoureadabook,it'swrittenbysomebody.Whatdoyoudo?Youasareader,ifyoureadthebook,ifyoudon'tlikethebookyouwritetotheauthorwhyyoudidn'tlike.Ifyoulikeit,youalsotellthemwhatyoulike.Ifyoudislike,youalsotellthemwhatyoudislike.

Isaid,"Grandpa,I'm7-yearold,I'm8-yearold.IfIwritetothem,theymaynotreplytome."

Hesaid,"Subir,iftheydon'treply.Writeitagain."

Isaid,"Grandpa,ifIwritetohundredletters,theydon'treply."

Hesaid,"Writehundredandfirstletter."

Isaid,"Grandpa,whyyousaythat?Doyoureally..."

Hesaid,"Subir,miraclewillhappen.Alwaysrememberanyhumanbeingisachievable.Likereachable.So,whatyoudo?Youstartwriting."

Guesswhathappened?BythetimeIwasonly12-yearsold,12-yearsoldokay,whenIwas12-yearsoldIwasdiningwithsomeofIndia'stop[inaudible01:01:53],somefantasticfictionwritingauthors.Iwasdiningwithsomeactorandsomeactress.Alltypeofpeoplebecamemyfriend.Musician,brilliantpainter,becausewhathappened?Powerofthepen.Iusedtowritetothem.

Now,whenIcametoAmerica,whenIwrotemyfirstbookIusedthesamemygrandfatherprinciple.Atthattime,Iwasnotaknownnameequality.Iwas26yearsold.Myfirstbookcameoutcalled"TheCureis9,000Pioneers",butmydeterminationwas,everysinglelivingqualitygurus,Dr.Taguchi,PhilCrosby,JDPower,Iwantedthemtoreadthemanuscript.So,Iwrotetothem.Nobodyreplied.Wrotetothemagain,nobodyreplied.Iwrotethem20times,theyreplied.Ultimately,everyoneofthemcametomybooklaunchingceremony.

Dave: Wow.

Subir: Now,thinkaboutthat.Iwas26yearsold.Alloftheworld'stop-qualitygiantcame.Anotherthingmygrandfatherusedtosay,"Alwaysrememberifyouhangaroundwiththepigs,youwillsmelllikeapig.Ifhangaroundwithsomegoodpeople,youwillbesmellinglikeagoodpeople."Heusedtotellme.

Thepowerinthatwas,becauseofthatmanuscriptthinkabouthowitcame.Alotofthepeoplethatstartedthinking,"Ohmygod.Alltheworld'stop-qualitygurusnowcomeinandlaunchSubir'sbook,maybethisguywillbethefuturequalitygenius."AtthattimeIwasnotaqualitygurus.Peoplewerealreadythinkingaboutit.BythetimeIwas30,Iwasalreadybecameaqualityguru.It'snotthatmybrainbecamesuddenlymorepowerful,seriously.Itisthesameprinciple.

Ithinktoansweryourquestion,canitbedone?Ithinkifyouhavetheperseverance,ifyouhavethepassionofwhatyoudo.Thinkaboutyoucanautomaticallyfigureitout.Thisisthefirsttimeyou'retalkingthat,"I'mverypassionateofwhatIdo.EverythingI'vedoneisbasedonthatpassion."Ultimately,resultcame.Inever...Ialwaysfollowedthepen,andcoinsfollowedme.YouknowwhatI'msaying?

Dave: Right,right.

Subir: Right,that'ssomethingthatgrandfathertaughtme.Ifyouhavethedetermination,Ithinkanyhumanbeingcando.Questionisthat,ismostofthepeopletakethemselvesthatseriouslyandgoforit.Thatistherealissue.

Dave: Whenyouwrotetheseletters,youactuallywroteletter,notemails?Youprobablyhand-wrotethem.

Subir: No,no,no,1991thereisnoemail.YouknowwhatI'msaying?

Dave: Ah,fairpoint.

Subir: Even1998,thereisnoemail.Imeanit'snotthatpopular,right?EvenDr.TaguchiinJapan,hewaslike70yearsold.Idirectlywrote.Now,thereisanotherbookIdid,andatthattimeinternetwasnoteveninvented.Itwas1999,thereisabookcalled"TheManagement21C".Iworkedwithworld'sTop-25managementthinkersaroundtheworld;LondonBusinessSchool,Harvard,SloanSchoolofManagement-alltheworld'stopgurus,justtochallengemyself.Andledagroupof26people,world'stopmanagementthinker.Thatonealotofthestuffatthattime,justemail,justinvented.Istartedemailatthattime.

Dave: You[crosstalk01:05:04]startedemailatthattime.

Subir: Butnowitismucheasier,youknow?Nowit'smucheasier.

Dave: It'seasier.I'mfindingthatthere'sabunchofpeoplethatuseautomatedsoftwaretodothat.Youknow,thesalesautomationsoftware.

Subir: Ohno.

Dave: Youknowwhat,it'ssuchcrap.IgetthoseallthetimeandIactuallyblockthosesendersthefirsttime.

Subir: Absolutely.

Dave: Becauseyoucanalwaystell.

Subir: Yep.

Dave: Whatyou'retalkingaboutisthatyou'reactuallywritingtotheperson.

Subir: Yes.

Dave: There'snothinglikethepowerofahand-writtenletter.

Subir: Eventhink,DavetodayevenrightnowIstilltakethetimeandIwritesomeprivatehand-writtenlettertosomeofthetopexecutives.Private,right?

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: IfIreadsomethinginTheWallStreetJournal,andIsticktothetimelineratherthansendanemail,andtheytakeitsoseriousbecauseit'ssooutofthebox.Itmatters.

Dave: Imetaguyincredibly,powerfulTVguy,heknowswhoheis,butIdon'twanttogratuitouslydrophisname,he'sthepresidentofoneofthemajorstudiopictures.IspeakonTonyRobbinsmainstagethisyearatUnleashthePowerWithin,whichisanincrediblehonorforme.Thisguywalkedupafterwardlike,"Ilovewhatyou'redoing.Idrinkyourcoffee,andcanIsendyousomestuff?"

I'mlike,"Okay"butIdidn'tknowwhohewas.

Subir: Mm-hmm(affirmative).

Dave: AndIgotahand-writtenletterfromlikethisincredibly,compassionate,humble,butalsoverypowerfulguy,whotookthetimetodothat.

Subir: Yes.

Dave: I'llneverforgetthat.Itwassopowerful.IgetthemfrompeoplewheremyworkinBulletproofis,haschangedtheirlives,wheretheytakethetimetowrite.So,Ijustofferthattolisteners.IfyoureallywanttodowhatMr.Subiristalkingabout,youactuallydopickupapen,andifyouplugitintoyourautomated"scamthemquick"salessoftware,itdoesn'twork.Itneverwill.

Subir: No.

Dave: Idon'tknowwhyitdoesn'twork,butthere'sadifference.

Subir: There'sadifference.Absolutely.There'snodoubtaboutit.

Dave: Okay.

Subir: Andifyou,nexttimeyouvisitingLosAngeles,youletmeknow.I'dbedelightedtomeetwithyou.

Dave: Oh,Iwouldbemorethanhonored.MaybewecangetJayandthethreeofuscanhavelunchtogether.

Subir: Yeah.Wonderful.Yeah,yeah,yeah.YouarestillinVancouver,right?YouareinVancouver,right?

Dave: Yeah,VancouverIsland,rightacrossfromVancouver.Icomedownalot.WehaveacoffeeshopinL.A.

Subir: Right,right.

Dave: So,I'mtherefrequently.Itwouldbeagreathonortohavelunchwithyou.Icantellfromreadingboth"TheIceCreamMaker"and"TheDifference",whatyou'retalkingaboutheregoesalotdeeperthanprocessmanagement.

Subir: Yes.

Dave: Andthingslikethat.That'swhereyoustarted,butfromtellingyourstoryin"TheDifference",it'soneofthemoreimpactfulbusinessmoves,butalsojustpersonaldevelopmentbooksthatIthinkpeoplecouldread.Andthereasonit'ssoimpactful,isthatyoutellyourstoryandhowyougottowhereyouare,andthestoryaboutyour

grandfatherwiththepen,andthatlevelofresolveandresiliencethatfrankly,mostentrepreneurscouldreallytakealessonfrom.

Subir: Yes.

Dave: Whereyou'regoingtofindaway.Itdoesn'tmatterifyou'renotsupposedto,itdoesn'tmatterifit'simpossible.That'swhatmakesElonMuskdowhatElonMuskdoestoo."Idon'tcareifthere'snoway,thenlet'sinventone!"Right?

Subir: Yes.

Dave: MindsightisveryrareandveryspecialandIthinkyoutellthestoryinawaythat,it'salmost,it'saccessibleinawaythatPauloCoelhobooks.Youreadthemandyou'relike,"There'snosentencelongerthanfivewords."It'swrittenforlikeafirst-grader,andyou'relike,"Thatwascool!"Butyoukindofgothereonsomereallytoughstuff.So,Iadmireyourwriting,thetopic,andjusttheperspectivethere.

Subir: Thankyousomuch.

Dave: Ithinkthatit'sreallyworthit,ifyou'relisteningtotheshow,justtrustme.Read"TheDifference"becauseitwillmakeadifference.

Now,Ihaveonemorequestionforyou.Actually,Ihavetwoquestionsforyou.Thefirstoneismoreself-serving.So,youworkwiththesegiant,multi-billiondollarcompaniesandyoucoachthesebigCEOs.Doyouworkwithsmallerentrepreneursaswell?

Subir: Sure,absolutely.Yes.

Dave: Youdo?Absolutely,alright.So,I'mnotgoingtoaskyouontheairwhatyourpricetagis,butmaybeIneedtospendacouplehourswithyou.I'msurethere'smoreIcouldlearn.

Subir: Sure,absolutely.

Dave: I'llaskafter.

ThentheotherquestionisonethatI'veaskedeveryguestonmorethan420episodesnow.IfsomeonecametoyoutomorrowSubir,andtheysaid,"Look,Iwanttobeabetterperformer.IwanttoperformbetterateverythingIdoasahumanbeing.Notjustatmywork,oratmysportorwhatever,butallin.Whatarethethreemostimportantpiecesofadviceyou'dhaveforme?Whatwouldyouofferthem?

Subir: IthinkasyouknowI'mvery...Itrytosimplifyasmuchaspossiblebecausethenitcanbeveryeasily,easilyitcanbedone.Firstthingis,Ikindoffelttheself-respect.Ithinkmajorityofpeople,theydon'tknow,whateverthegodis,whateverthesuperpoweris,right?Createdus,right?Givesomeinsightpower,eachhumanbeing.Itcanbethepersonwhocanbethehomelesspersononthestreet.

Dave: Right.

Subir: Versusmyself,oryou,oranybody,right?Wehavethatwithin.So,thatself-respectpartisveryimportant.Thequestionisthat,ifyoutrulyself-respectyourself,thenyouractionwillchange.But,unlessyouhavethatself-respect,youractionwillbeshitty,becauseyoudon'thavetheself-respect,right?

Dave: Yeah.

Subir: Thenyouwilllie,youwilldothis,youwillfake,youdothisandthat.Therealquestion...sotodothat,youhavetoalsokindof...soundslittlebitphilosophical,butIthinklotofthetime,becauseI'mverylucky,IlikeveryclosetoPacificOceanso,IgoinfrontoftheoceanandItrytolookattheocean.IkindoffelthowlittleIknowcomparedtotheocean.I'mnothing,nobody,right?

Dave: Right.

Subir: Thereistheonepart.Thefirstpartwouldbedevelopingtheself-respect.Thesecondthingwouldbe,secondadviceI'mgoingtogiveisthatyoualwaysthink...Ialwaystalkaboutthisisanotherexamplemygrandfathertaughtme.HeusedtoaskmeaquestionwhenIwasachild,"Betweenthenumberszeroandnine,whatismorepowerful?"Betweenthequestionzeroandnine,whatismorepowerful?

EverytimeIusedtosaynine,hesaid,"No.Zeroismorepowerful."

Isaid,"Grandfather,why?"

Hesaid,"Becausezeroonitsowndoesn'thaveanyvalue.Nineonitsownhassomevalue.Zeroonitsowndoesn'thaveanyvalue,butassoonasyouputthezerobesideanumber,itbecameverypowerful."Butthereisnotevenasingleothernumberyoucanfind,whichdoesn'thaveanyvalueonitsown.

So,thenhetoldme,"Youalwaysthinkinyourlifeyouareazero."

Isaid,"Grandpa,whatdoyoumeanbythat?"

Hesaid,"OnedaywillcomeSubir,youwillbesosuccessful,butatthattimeyoualwayswillfindsayingthatwhodefinedthesuccess?Thosenineotherpeople."

Hesaidifyougotoaroom.ThinkaboutthisDave.Yousittinginyourroom.Nobodyisaroundyou.Youareonyourown.AreyouasuccessfulDaveguy?No.Butassoonasyougoinfrontoftheotherpeople,theysay,"OhthisisDave,youknowfromBulletproof!Ohmygod!"They'retheonewho[inaudible01:12:19].Makeitwhatyouare.Alwaysthinkaboutyouyourselfisnobodyunlessanotherhumanbeing.They'retheonewhoarestanding.Youaretellingme,"OhSubirwrotethisbook.OhSubir,didthis.OhSubiristheworld'stopmanagementguru.Hedidthis.Heconsultedallthesepeople."Youaretheonewho'sgivingmethecredit,right?

Dave: Yes.

Subir: Butownmyown,supposeifI'monmyowninmyownroom,thereisnobody'stellingmethat.SoIamzero.Withoutyou,withoutJay,withoutTony,withoutmyclients,Iamnobody.Withoutmyreader,Iamnobody.Thatisthesecondthing,right?Sothefirstthingistheself-respect.Secondthingyouhavetothinkabout...nowyoucantalkaboutthereisyourhumbleasawhatever,butthisisamuchmoreveryeasilyquantifiable,likezero.Iamzero.I'mnobody,right?Withoutsomebody,sobecauseofthatIhavetorespectsomebodybecausewithoutthem,IcannotbecomewhatIbecametoday,right?

Dave: Right.

Subir: So,thatisthesecondelementIthink.Thethirdelement,Ithinkis,thatisamuchmoreactionableitemwhichis,Ithink,everydaywhenyouwakeup,you'rebrushingyourteeth,youtrytoaskyourself,"WhatistheoneactionIcantake,oneactionIcantakeforanotherhumanbeingwhomademetonineorsevenfromzero,right?"So,thatmyself-respectelementwillalsogivememorejoy.

ThosearethethreethingsI'llsuggest.

Dave: Thatisapowerfullistandit'ssurprisinglyevenafterhundredsofepisodes,that'sverydifferentthantheanswersI'veheardbeforeso,itshows.You’reanoriginalthinkerandI'mgratefulyouwereonBulletproofRadiotoday!Thanksforsharingyourwisdom,yourknowledge,andallofyourbooks.Andforpeoplelistening,whatacoolinterview.Youwouldn'tprobablyhavethoughtfromaprocessmanagementguru,thatwe'dbetalkingaboutthat.That'swhywedidthisinterview,andthebookiscalled"TheDifference",andIspendalotoftimereadingbooks,andithelpsmetolearnandtobeabetterCEO,andjustabetterperson.Thisisabookthat'stotallyworthyourtime.Partofthatis,itdoesn'ttakelongtoread.It'sashortbook,butit'sfullofthegoodstuff.So,Iunreservedlyrecommendit.

Subir: Thankyousomuchforfeaturingme.

Dave: Ofcourse.Haveanawesomeday.

Subir: Thankyou.

Dave: Andpeoplecanfindout,IsupposedIshouldask,wherecanpeoplefindoutmoreaboutyourbookotherthanobviouslyifyouknowthenameyoucanfindit.IsthereaURLtheyshouldgoto?

Subir: It'llbeinAmazonoranyofthebookstores,it'savailable.

Dave: Okay,cool.Cool.

Subir: Plusit'salso,iftheyGooglemynameSubirChowdhury,thentheywillprettymuchfinditso.

Dave: Okay,soyou'reeasytofindonline.That'sgreat.

Subir: Yeah,noproblem.Yeah,right.

Dave: That'sgreat.Beautiful.WewillhavelunchinL.A.soon.Itwasanhonortochatwithyou.

Subir: Thankyou.

Dave: AndIlookforwardtoournextconversation.

Subir: Yeah.Thankyousomuchforfeaturingme.