CHOOSE TO DEFUSE · CHOOSE TO DEFUSE Conflict Resolution in the Heat of the Battle...

CHOOSE TO DEFUSEConflict Resolution in the Heat of the Battle

CreativeBread.Studio/mml

CHOOSE TO DEFUSEConflict Resolution in the Heat of the Battle

CreativeBread.Studio/mml

4

Conflict Is a REALITY of Life

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“United communities

WINprojects they never should have won.

Divided communities

LOSEProjects they never should have lost.”

- Ben Teague

Addressing ConflictKey question

Face Conflict Head-On

Am I avoiding the inevitable? 1

Use humor

Ask questions

Right timing

Active ListeningKey Question

Listen Intentionally

Am I hearing the other person? 2

Focus

Open

Affirm

Summarize

Identify the Underlying Issue

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Interpersonal Communication Change “Unemptied Cups” Triggers

5 Causes of ConflictWhat’s really going on?

Key Question

“What the heck was I THINKING?

“Why did I SAY that?”

The Amygdala Hijack

1

An

immediate,overwhelmingemotional response with a later realization that the response was

inappropriately strong given the trigger.

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The Triune Brain

1

Reptilian Brain = Instinct

Limbic Brain = Emotion

Neocortex = Logic

Amygdala = Alarm System

Lower Brain

THREAT

Amygdala

Amygdala

Neocortex

Fight-Flight

Keeping All Lanes OPEN

1

Identify your triggersPlan aheadBreathCalming Exercises30-Minute Rule6 Second Rule

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Pick Your BattlesKey Questions4

• Do I NEED to win?• CAN I win?• Is this the right TIME?• Could this result in a long-term LOSS?

Fight if the results will be DISASTROUS.

How do YOU approach conflict?

CompetingAccommodating

AvoidingCompromisingCollaborating

CreativeBread.Studio/mml

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“You can have

EVERYTHINGin life you wantif you will just help enough

OTHER PEOPLEget what they want.”

- Zig Ziglar

G.V. “Sonny” Montgomery(August 5, 1920 – May 12, 2006)

• U.S. House of Representatives: 1967–1997

• Chairman, Veteran’s Affairs Committee

• Presidential Medal of Freedom, 2005

Conflict helpsDEFINE

all organizations.

Whether it’sPOSITIVEor NEGATIVE

is up to you.

CHOOSE TO DEFUSEConflict Resolution in the Heat of the Battle

CreativeBread.Studio/mml