Beyond the plain language edit: going the extra...

March 11, 2013

Claire Foley and Tracy Torchetti

Beyond the plain language edit: going the extra mile

Agenda

• Introduction

• Punctuation

• Grammar

• Idioms

• Examples

• Conclusion and discussion

What is health literacy?

From the Canadian Cancer Society glossary:

“A person’s ability to find, understand, evaluate, use and communicate health-related information. For example, health literacy includes a healthcare professional’s ability to communicate health-related information, as well as a person’s ability to read nutrition labels, interpret prescriptions and follow self-care instructions.”

What is plain language?

• the art and science of writing clearly

• clear organization and layout

• reader-centred writing and design

Plain language writing techniques

• Use the active voice.

• Write directly to your reader.

• Use a positive tone wherever possible.

• Use short words and simple sentences.

• Choose the right words.

• Use lists.

Plain language formatting and style

• Choose the right typeface.

• Watch alignment.

• Use lots of white space and short paragraphs.

• Keep lines of text short.

• Use meaningful titles, headings and subheadings.

• Use emphasis sparingly (e.g., bold, all caps, italics, colour)

Punctuation

• apostrophes

• dumb vs. smart quotes

• commas

• colons and semicolons

• dashes and hyphens

• other fussy marks

The panda eats shoots and leaves.

The panda eats, shoots and leaves.

Apostrophes

Apostrophes

Contractions

• it’s

• don’t

• can’t

Possession

• a day’s income

• John’s test

• the patient’s need

Possessive apostrophes

Plural noun ending in “s”

• parents’ lives

• doctors’ offices

• patients’ needs

Plural noun not ending in “s”

• women’s room

• people’s needs

• children’s ward

Possessive apostrophes

Singular noun ending in “s”

• Chris’s test

• Charles’s test

• Mr Rogers’ neighbourhood

Don’t use the apostrophe.

Ordinary plurals

• no drugs allowed (not drug’s or drugs’)

Plurals of acronyms and numbers

• PFDs

• PSAs

• 1990s

Possessive pronouns

• its

• ours

• hers

Dumb vs. smart quotes

Commas

Commas

The most common comma errors are:

• serial commas

• adjectival commas

• commas with (non)restrictive clauses

• commas with independent clauses

• commas after introductory word groups

Colons

Semicolons

Colons

There are 3 types of UV rays: ultraviolet A, ultraviolet B and ultraviolet C.

Good

There are 3 types of UV rays—ultraviolet A, ultraviolet B and ultraviolet C.

Better

There are 3 types of UV rays:

• ultraviolet A

• ultraviolet B

• ultraviolet C

Colons

Pesticides are a group of chemicals that include:

• insecticides

• herbicides

• fungicides

But

Pesticides are a group of chemicals that include insecticides, herbicides and fungicides.

Semicolons

Cold symptoms last for a few days; flu symptoms can last for days or weeks.

Cold symptoms last for a few days. Flu symptoms can last for days or weeks.

Semicolons

Dioxins can be produced naturally; however, there is no evidence that plastic bottles contain dioxins.

Dioxins can be produced naturally. However, there is no evidence that plastic bottles contain dioxins.

Dashes and hyphens

Dashes and hyphens

Dashes and hyphens

Hyphens Connect words and large numbers expressed as words.

• best-known treatment

• twenty-seven times

Follow prefixes in new words.

• non-stick cookware

• pre-trip checklist

Line breaks

Write your name exact-

ly as it appears on your

health card.

Hyphens

Hyphenate compound modifier before but not after the noun.

• Energy at low cost is low-cost energy.

Hyphenate compound modifier if meaning is affected.

• A hot-water bottle is a bottle for holding hot water.

• A hot water bottle is a water bottle that is hot.

Hyphenate a word for clarity.

• You need to re-press those jeans.

• You need to repress those bad memories.

En dash

For number ranges (in place of the word “to”)

• 7 a.m.–7 p.m.

• 5–10 servings of vegetables and fruit

• 1999–2013

• January–March

Instead of a hyphen with open compounds

• non–small cell lung cancer

• Canada–United States relations

Em dash

I pay the bills—she has to have the surgery.

A semicolon would be used here in formal writing.

I need three items at the store—dog food, vegetarian chili, and cheddar cheese.

A colon would be used here in formal writing.

Please call the nurse—Jane Jones—about your test.

Parentheses or commas would work instead of dashes.

I wish you would—oh, never mind.

Em dash is required for an abrupt change in thought.

Other fussy marks

• asterisks (*)

• ellipses (…)

• punctuation in bulleted lists

• parentheses

Remove punctuation from bulleted lists.

Before

Offer lots of high fibre foods, including:

• breads, cereals, pastas and rice made from whole grains;

• fruit, especially berries, dried fruit and citrus fruit; and

• vegetables, especially broccoli, carrots, corn and leafy greens.

After

Offer lots of high fibre foods, including:

• breads, cereals, pastas and rice made from whole grains

• fruit, especially berries, dried fruit and citrus fruit

• vegetables, especially broccoli, carrots, corn and leafy greens

Be careful with parentheses.

Before

You need to take a different drug for your diabetes (starting Monday).

After

You need to take a different drug for your diabetes. You start the new drug on Monday.

Grammar

• verb tenses

• contractions

• adverb placement

Verb tenses

Verb tenses Use more common verb tenses.

Simple present tense

You have diabetes.

Present continuous

Are you taking medication?

Simple future

You will go to the hospital tomorrow.

You are going to the hospital tomorrow.

Simple past

Did you take some medication yesterday?

Verb tenses The present works for both present and future situations.

For example:

I take my medication at noon today.

I take my new medication tomorrow.

Instead of:

When you go to the hospital, the doctor will take your blood and will do other tests.

Use:

When you go to the hospital, the doctor takes your blood and does other tests.

Verb tenses

Using the present instead of present continuous

Instead of:

I am taking medication for my heart.

Use:

I take medication for my heart every day.

Verb tenses

Using will or be going to for the future

Example:

I am going to have my procedure at the hospital next week.

I will have my procedure at the hospital next week.

(I have my procedure at the hospital next week.)

Using regular and irregular verbs in the past

Example:

I talked to the doctor yesterday.

I spoke to the doctor yesterday.

Contractions

Contractions

Some contractions are easier than others.

Easier examples:

I’m, can’t, don’t, you’re, who’s, what’s, where’s

Harder examples:

could’ve, will’ve, shouldn’t, isn’t, aren’t, weren’t, doesn’t, didn’t

Adverb placement

What’s the difference?

• He swallowed the pill carefully.

• He carefully swallowed the pill.

• Carefully he swallowed the pill.

Adverb placement

Misplacing modifiers can change the meaning.

• Only the surgeon could finish the operation.

• The surgeon could only finish the operation.

• The surgeon could finish only the operation.

Adverb placement

Instead of:

Talking to patients clearly helps medication adherence.

Use:

Talking to your patients will clearly help them continue to take their medication.

or

A clear discussion with your patients helps them continue taking their medication.

The ESL perspective

The ESL perspective

• idioms

• phrasal verbs

• numbers

Idioms

Idioms

• Are you feeling under the weather?

• You seem on the ball.

• This will cost an arm and a leg.

• Let’s get the ball rolling!

• Keep an eye out for these symptoms.

Phrasal verbs

Phrasal verbs A phrasal verb is a verb followed by a preposition or an adverb; the combination creates a meaning different from the original verb.

Examples:

take over put off work out

call off check out cut out

cut down on end up figure out

go on get over give up

go through jot down crop up

pass away rule out turn down

Numbers

Numbers

Use digits rather than spelling out numbers.

• Eighteen vs. 18

Spell out units of measure or define them at first mention.

• 15 min.

• 1000 IU

Numbers

Avoid tricky constructions with dates.

• Back x-rays will no longer be covered by OHIP after 09/10/12.

Remember that percentages don’t always resonate.

• 12% of people have side effects.

• 12 in every 100 people have side effects.

Numbers

Numbers

Avoid fractions.

• 3/8 of your normal dose.

• 5-1/4 or 5¼

But…

• 5,000 vs. 5.000 vs. 5 000

Think you’re finished? Not so fast …

• Review it again.

o Streamline the text, remove redundancies and make sure it’s clearly organized.

o Use a checklist.

• Get someone else to look it over.

o An expert, a colleague, a reader unfamiliar with the topic

• Test it.

o Test it early, often and with the right people.

o Test with enough people.

• Repeat.

Beyond the plain language edit

Examples

Conclusion

What you can do:

• Learn more about health literacy.

• Apply plain language principles.

• Check grammar and punctuation.

• Think about the second language perspective.

• Know your audience.

• Test with your audience.

Questions?