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Connections Communication Guidelines
Barriers to Communication
Preoccupation withother matters
Thinking ofresponse
Mental
Timing
Physical
Interruptions
Uncomfortable
Phone CallUpsetting use of timepace distance
Intercultural
Thinking in stereotypes
Misinterpretation of bolanguage
Misinterpretation
Intentio
VerbalMessag
Non VerbalMessage
Atmosphere
Message
Personal Low Interes
Unwilling To
Concentrate
Lack of Empath
Negative Feelings
Poor Listening
Lack of TrustFear by the status of the Sender
Background
Age Education Status Experience
Message
Unclear
Language
onunciation
nsuitableiscourse
Style
PersonalLack of
sympathyppearance
Voice
Motive
Sender Receive
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Communication Barriers
Inevitably, most businesses (perhaps all) suffer from failures in communication.Poor businesses suffer from persistently poor communications.
Perhaps the best way to think about the way in which communication can gowrong is to think about what good communication would be like:
- It would use appropriate language (e.g. no poor use of jargon; written so thatthe intended recipient can understand)
- It would go only to who should receive it not everyone
- It would use the right medium to communicate the information
- The information would get to the recipient in good time for it to be used
Taking the above list, it is easy to produce a list of how communications go
wrong:
- Information is omitted or distorted by the sender
- Information is misunderstood due to the use of inappropriate jargon or lack ofclarity
- Information is presented using an inappropriate medium (e.g. via email ratherthan in a proper report, or via telephone when face-to-face is better)
- Information arrives too late, or incomplete
Barriers to good communication
Research suggests that, amongst the many reasons why information fails to becommunicated, the following are the main barriers:
- Different status of the sender and the receiver(e.g. a senior managersends a memo to a production supervisor who is likely to pay closeattention to the message. The same information, conveyed in the oppositedirection might not get the attention is deserves)
-
Use of jargon employees who arte specialists ,ay fall for the trap of usingspecialists language for a non-specialist audience (e.g. the IT technician whocannot tries to explain how users should log onto a network, in language thatsounds foreign to most users of the network)
- Selective reporting information that is not immediately relevant (e.g. noticeof some deadline that seems a long way off) is not always actionedstraightway
- Conflict where the communicator and recipient are in conflict; informationtends to be ignored or distorted
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Overcoming Barriers to Communication
Talking
Be honest about your own thoughts, conscious and feelings. When is doubt, askquestions:
How is that for you? How do you feel right now?
Can you tell me more about that?
Am I intruding?
What do you need?
What are the ways you can take care of yourself?
When you are responding to a person facing crises, rather than use statementssuch as You should or Thats wrong, say:
I feel I believe
I would want
An example of talking with a sick person:
What youre going through sounds awful: and let her know you can listen: Iwould love to hear how youre really doing.
In asking the hard questions, of course, you or family must be willing to hear hardanswers. Think about what you will do or say is she responds to your interest by
openly confiding her darkest fears and fathomless sorrow. Sometimes whatpeople need most is for someone they love to simply listen.
Irs Byock, M.D. [ www.dyingwell.com ], notes that a valuable strategy fordiscussing these intimate and poignant subjects with your sister or other familymembers is to use I statements, framing what you say in terms of what you arefeeling. In talking with your other siblings or parents, avoid statements that soundas if you are telling others what they should be thinking, feeling or saying (Wecan all see Sherrie is getting sicker and we need to talk about her dying.). Bysticking to I statements you can avoid intruding on your familys emotionalspace while saying the things that need to be said and that may, inevitable,
provoke uncomfortable feelings in others. In talking privately with your other andbrother, for instance, you might ay, Sherrie looks weaker to me. I am worriedabout her. In this way you can open up the discussion without imposing anagenda. Similarly, in talking with you sister, it is almost always OK to tell her howyou feel. Sherrie, I love you so much, and Im scared of losing you, is a verydirect statement that, nevertheless, respects personal boundaries.
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Words To Try
Joanne Lynn, M.D. [ www.medicaring.org ], suggests the following words to trywhen talking with people who are seriously ill. This table is taken from Lynns TheHandbook For Mortals:
When you think you want tosay: Try this instead:
Dad, you are doing to be justfine
Dad, are there some things that worry you?
Dont talk like that! You canbeat this!
It must be hard to come to terms with all this
I cant see how anyone canhelp
We will be there for you, always
I just cant talk about this I am feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Canwe take this up later tonight?
What do the doctors know?
You might live forever
Do you think doctors are right? How does it
seem to you?Please dont give up, I needyou here
I need you here. I will miss you terribly. But wewill get through somehow
There has to be somethingmore to do
Lets be sure we get the best of medicaltreatments, but lets be together once we havedone all we can
Dont we glum. You will getwell
It must be hard. Can I just sit with you for awhile?
Listening
Good listening skills air communication. Listening skills can be valuable to youand to your loved ones. By using non-judgmental invitations to talk, you opendoors to meaningful conversation. Some good phrases are:
Lets discuss it.
Would you like to talk about it?
Tell me about it.
Id like to hear about it.
Tell me the whole story.
It sounds like youve got something to say about this. This seems important to you.
Im interested in your point of view.
As a person talks, you can keep encouraging them with phrases such as:
I see.
You did?
Mm hmm.
Oh, really?
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Interesting.
You dont say.
Listening is giving you full attention to the person talking, and accepting what thatperson says. Listening is not:
1. ordering of directing2. warning or threatening3. moralizing or preaching4. advising, giving solutions or suggestions5. lecturing, teaching or giving logical arguments6. judging, criticizing, disagreeing or blaming7. praising or agreeing8. name-calling, ridiculing, shaming9. interpreting, analyzing or diagnosing10.reassuring, sympathizing, consoling or supporting11.probing, questioning or interrogating12.withdrawing, distracting, humoring or diverting the speaker
Project Management Issues and Considerations
Overcoming Barriers
Some suggestions
Be self-aware
o What you want, see feel and do
Listen actively
o And avoid turn-offs
Make information readily available
o Avoid unnecessary secrecy
Establish a regular two-way information flow
Provide training
o In speaking, listening and writing skills
Provide feed back
Communication Barriers
Some barrier examples
Optimism: Itll happen the way itll happen! Impatience: Well cross that bridge when we get there!
Blindness: Itll never happen to us!
Intransigence: Weve always done it this way!
Over-confidence Well fix it later!
Secrecy: We dont want any interference!
Power-play: We know best!
Mixed message: Do it because its our policy!
Indirect message: You should have know better!
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Disparagement: Itll never work, the boss wont like it, itll cost a fortune, so
lets be realistic!
Avoiding or overcoming barriers to communication
To succeed in your relationships with your o-workers you need effective
communication skills. During you like, youve probably learned ome lesson thathave actually discouraged communication. As a child, for example, you havebeen punished for talking back. As an adult now, you may be conditioned toshut off your feelings when you talk to someone, building barriers tocommunication. At work, this can result in frequent misunderstanding, poormorale and low productivity. Here are some common barriers to communicationand some tips for avoiding or overcoming them.
Barriers tocommunication
How they result inmiscommunication
How to avoid orovercome them
Think of someone you are afraid to be honest with and say to her, I have troubletelling you what I really feel and think about this matter. Shell probably be justas relieved as you are to talk about it.
Not listening The person who wants totell you something willnot get through to you ifyoure thinking aboutsomething else whileshes talking.
Use active listening:concentrate on thespeakers words andrestate them to be sureyou heard them correctly.This clarifiescommunication and
shows the speaker thatyou understand herfeelings.
Being defensive Instead of listening youmay be thinking of waysyou can enhance yourimage, escapepunishment, dominate orwin.
Recognize the kind ofbehavior that makes youdefensive. Whensomeone displays thatbehavior, tell her youreuncomfortable whit hermessage as yourehearing it.
Suppressing feelings Refusing the recognizeyour own feelings duringa conversation preventsyou from taking properaction in the situation.
Learn to analyze yourfeelings during aconversation and then tocommunicate them, suchas, Im feeling annoyedhappyafraid.
Contd
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Not giving feedback Refusing to communicateyour reaction to whatsomeone is saying to youincreases the chances ofmisunderstanding.
Offer feedback in asupportive way. Also,provide feedback as soonas possible after theconversation, so both ofyou can rememberdetails. Confine yourfeedback to your ownfeelings, dont try tellingher how she feels.
Giving advice Telling someone whatyou think she should domakes her defensive,reduces her self-esteem.
Practice active listening,give the person your time,not your advice oropinion.
Being excessivelyrepetitive
Repetition pulls theperson into not listeningbecause shes heard itbefore.
Listen to yourself. Saywhat you want to sayonce, as clearly aspossible, and ask for aspecific response.
Being distracted Being concerned withother things prevents youfrom listening effectively,making you miss ormisunderstand the otherpersons message.
Concentrate on usingactive listening technique.If you cant concentrate,interrupt to deal withdistraction.
Using inappropriatelanguage
Using words unfamiliar oroffensive to the otherperson prevents her fromunderstanding(sometimes fromaccepting) yourmessage.
Choose your wordscarefully and thoughtfully,being aware of thesituation youre in and theperson youre talking to.
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