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B’naiMitzvahManual5780(2019-2020)
Lastupdated:August26,2019 2
INTRODUCTION.......................................................................................................................................................3WHATISBARORBATMITZVAH?......................................................................................................................4RELIGIOUSSCHOOLATTENDANCE...................................................................................................................5ELIGIBILITYFORB’NAIMITZVAH.....................................................................................................................51.1 SHABBATPARTICIPATION..........................................................................................................................................5
PREPARATIONFORBARANDBATMITZVAH................................................................................................51.2 RELIGIOUSSCHOOLANDMID-WEEKHEBREW......................................................................................................51.3 7TH-GRADEHEBREWCLASS.......................................................................................................................................71.4 CLERGYAPPOINTMENTS............................................................................................................................................7
WHATDOESABAR/BATMITZVAHDO?.........................................................................................................8SHABBATFRIDAYEVENINGBLESSINGS..........................................................................................................91.5 INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEHONOROFLEADINGTHEFRIDAYNIGHTCANDLEBLESSINGS...............................101.6 INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEHONOROFLEADINGTHEFRIDAYNIGHTKIDDUSH..................................................11
WHATDOTHEPARENTSOFTHEBAR/BATMITZVAHDO?..................................................................12CHOOSINGPEOPLETOPARTICIPATEINTHESERVICE...........................................................................13CHOOSINGPEOPLETOHELPDURINGTHESERVICE................................................................................14THEPARENTSPEECHONSATURDAYMORNING.......................................................................................15FREQUENTLYASKEDQUESTIONS..................................................................................................................15SCHEDULEOFBAR/BATMITZVAHFEES(ANDWHATTHATFEEINCLUDES).................................17THEDVARTORAH–INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEBAR/BATMITZVAH...................................................18SHABBATFRIDAYEVENINGBLESSINGS.......................................................................................................191.7 INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEHONOROFLEADINGTHEFRIDAYNIGHTCANDLEBLESSINGS...............................191.8 INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEHONOROFLEADINGTHEFRIDAYNIGHTKIDDUSH..................................................20
BLESSINGSFORTHEREADINGOFTORAHANDALTERNATIVEREADINGS......................................211.9 BLESSINGBEFORETHEREADINGOFTHETORAH................................................................................................211.10 BLESSINGAFTERREADINGTORAH........................................................................................................................221.11 ENGLISHREADINGSFORAFAMILYMEMBERWHOISNOTJEWISH................................................................23
ALIYAHANDHONORSFORM............................................................................................................................24HUSHERANDUSHERFORM..............................................................................................................................26
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INTRODUCTION YourchildisabouttoprepareforaveryspecialoccasionuniquetotheJewishpeople.Asparents,youplayanimportantroleinthisprocess.InthecourseofourTemple’shistory,hundredsofboysandgirlshavemadetheirwaytoourpulpitontheoccasionofbecomingBarorBatMitzvah.Eachchildisunique,bringingtotheworshipservicestrengthsheorsheneverknewexisteduntildiscovereduponrecitationofthefirsttremulousbrachah,orthelastparagraphoftheirDvarTorah(wordofTorahorspeech).EachBarorBatMitzvahexperiencehasbeenanopportunityforpersonalgrowth,familyenrichmentandcommunaljoy.Asacongregation,wehavelearnedmuchfromthesumtotalofalltheseoccasions.Wehavelearnedespeciallythat,justasachildexperiencesnervousanticipationandagreatsenseofaccomplishment,sotooeachfamilyhasquestionsconcerningpreparationandreception:"whattodo,""howtogoaboutit,"and"when."Withthesequestionsinmind,thismanualwascompiledtoserveasahelpfulguideandchecklist.Itmaynotcompletelymitigatethemomentsofpanicthatbefallusall,butifitshouldcalmasinglejanglednerve,ithasbeenworththeeffort.Yoursuggestionsandadditionsforthenexteditionaremostwelcome.Shouldyouhaveanyquestionsatall,feelfreetocalluponanymemberoftheTempleClergyorstaffforassistance.TELEPHONENUMBERSandEMAILADDRESSESTempleOfficePhone 973-539-4539TempleFaxNumber 973-539-2758RabbiMichaelSatz rabbisatz@templebnaior.org
CantorGalitDadounCohen cantordadouncohen@templebnaior.org
ExecutiveDirectorJoelKatz executivedirector@templebnaior.org
ReligiousSchoolDirectorDavidIskovitz davidiskovitz@templebnaior.org
ReligiousSchoolAdministrativeAssistantBarbaraSherman
bsherman@templebnaior.org
TempleAdministrativeAssistantKimLefferts kimlefferts@templebnaior.org
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WHAT IS BAR or BAT MITZVAH? Asfarbackasthe6thcentury,theageofmaturitywasestablishedas13foramaleand12½forafemale.UntilthelateMiddleAges,itwaspermissible,evendesirable,forboysandgirlstobemarriedattheseearlyages.(Fortunately,timeandvaluesdochange.)Thirteenwasalsotheacceptedageatwhichaboywasfullyreadyandknowledgeableenoughtoconductaworshipserviceandtobecountedinaminyan.AsaJewishtradition,BarMitzvahissome800yearsold.ItcameintobeingaboutthetimethatreligiousupheavalandpersecutionforcedJewstomovefromcommunitytocommunity.Asaceremony,itsfunctionwastoestablishineachcommunitythoseyoungsterswhoweresufficientlytrainedtoparticipateinworship.Overthecourseofthecenturies,BarMitzvahhascometobeviewedastheoccasionofspiritualawakeningandmoralresponsibility.Untilthatage,itwastheparent,specificallythefather,whoassumedallaccountabilityforachild’sactions.ItisinterestingtonotethatinatraditionalBarMitzvahceremony,thefather,withasenseofrelief,intonesthismostunusualblessing:“BaruchShep’taraniMayOnshoShelZeh–BlessedbetheONEwhohasrelievedmefromthe(spiritual/moral)burdenofthischild.”WhileBarMitzvahhasacenturies-longhistory,BatMitzvahisamorerecentJewishobservance.ThefirstBatMitzvahissaidtohavetakenplaceintheearlyyearsofthe20thcenturyandiscreditedtohavebeenJudithKaplan,thedaughterofRabbiMordecaiKaplan,andfounderoftheReconstructionistMovement.TodayinliberalJewishsynagogues,BatMitzvahandBarMitzvahareequivalentinmeaningandobservance.SpiritualadulthoodmeansthatfromBarorBatMitzvahforward,aJewisresponsibleforkeepinghisorherpromises,fastingonYomKippur,beingcountedforJewishworshipandlivingbythevaluesandprinciplesofJudaism.AtTempleB’naiOr,theBarorBatMitzvahisnotarequirementofthereligiousschool.Itishopedthatparentswillbereadytoputtheirceremonyinaproperandpositiveperspectiveforthechildandthatthechild,inundertakingthepreparationforthisceremony,willbeintrinsicallymotivatedandwilllookforwardtotheexperience.OncethedecisiontoprepareforbecomingaBarorBatMitzvahismadebythechildandparents,theClergy,theTemple,andthestaffcanbecountedontodoeverythingpossibletohelpmakethisapositiveandmeaningfulprocess.BarorBatMitzvahisavailabletoeveryJewishchildwhohasattendedatleastfouryearsofreligiousschool,oritsequivalent.However,thisceremonyisonlyonestageofachild’songoingJewisheducationatTempleB’naiOr;itisbynomeansaconclusion.Withthisinmind,itisexpectedthatprospectiveBarorBatMitzvahcandidatesintendtocontinueattendingreligiousschoolthroughConfirmation,whichoccurswiththecompletionofthetenthgradeandthengraduationinthetwelfthgrade.
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RELIGIOUS SCHOOL ATTENDANCE InordertocelebrateaBarorBatMitzvahatTempleB'naiOr,studentsmustattendandfulfilltherequirementsforgrades3through7oftheTBOReligiousSchool.ForstudentswithspecialneedsorforstudentswhohaveenrolledintheReligiousSchoolaftercomingtoTBOfromanotherschoolorfromoutofthearea,theReligiousSchoolDirector,inconsultationwiththeClergy,willdeterminetheappropriateeducationalrequirementsforcelebratingaBarorBatMitzvahatTBO.ELIGIBILITY FOR B’NAI MITZVAH TobecomeaBarorBatMitzvah,youmustbeastudentingoodstandinginourReligiousSchoolwiththefollowingrequirementsmet:
1. ChildrenandparentsmustbeTemplememberswithallB’naiMitzvahfeesandTempleobligationsmet.
2. Because the benefit of class attendance cannot be recreated, students must be enrolled in Religious School for at least four years prior to becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Exception requests must be discussed with the Religious School Director.
3. Studentsmustbeenrolledin7thgradeReligiousSchoolregardlessofwhentheBarorBatMitzvahtakesplace.
4. StudentsmustsatisfytheBarorBatMitzvot“mitzvahproject”requirementaspartofthecurriculum.
1.1 ShabbatParticipationWeencouragestudentstoattendservicesasoftenaspossible.Theyshouldsigninforustokeeptrack.AllservicesmustbeattendedatTBO:Four(4)FridayeveningShabbatservicesineachgradeandone(1)Saturdaymorningservice.PREPARATION FOR BAR AND BAT MITZVAH Ourphilosophyistoensurethatyourchildhasallthenecessarytoolstolearnandmastertheirassignedmaterial.Whilewecannotlearnthematerialforthem,ourgoalistobeyourchild’sandyourpartnerinthisprocess.Yourchild’sBarorBatMitzvahtrainingwillconsistofthefollowingcomponents:1.2 ReligiousSchoolandMid-WeekHebrewInourreligiousschool,studentsstudyHebrewfromthe3rdthroughthe6thgrades.WhiletheydolearntheHebrewalphabetandprayersassociatedwiththeShabbatworshipservice,theyarenotreadytoreadfromtheTorahwithoutadditionaltutoringforthisspecifictask.
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1. BarandBatMitzvahClassesinMid-WeekHebrewSchool
BarandBatMitzvahpreparationbeginsinthe6thgrade.ThisclassisdesignedtomotivatestudentstowardtheirBarorBatMitzvahstudiesandtofacilitatethestudents'developmentoffluencyinthespecificprayersandblessingsneededfortheBarorBatMitzvahservice.EachstudentwillreceiveabindercontainingthecompleteBar/BatMitzvahservice.Inaddition,studentswillbeassignedtheirindividualTorahandHaftarahportions.
2. TorahandHaftarahPreparationwithBarandBatMitzvahCoaches:
Inadditiontotheabove-mentionedclasses,eachBarorBatMitzvahstudentwillmeetwithanassignedBarorBatMitzvahcoach,whowillguideeachBarorBatMitzvahstudentthroughthelearningprocess.Eachchildwillhavefifteen(15)½hoursessionswiththeirinstructor.Sincethetutoringscheduleisextremelytight,itisimportantthatscheduledlessonsbeattendedconsistentlyandpromptly.Exceptinthecaseofillness,make-uplessonsarenotavailable.
Note: Ifyourchild’sBarorBatMitzvahisinSeptemberorOctober,pleasebesurethattheirsummerplansincludeBarorBatMitzvahtutoring,eitheratcamporathome.
Expectations:Studentsareexpectedtohavemasteredalltheprayersandblessingsstudiedintheir6thgradeclassesPRIORtotheirfirstmeetingwiththeBarorBatMitzvahCoach.
Inordertosuccessfullymasterthismaterial,itisexpectedthataBarorBatMitzvahcandidatewillstudythismaterialforahalfhoureverydayatthecommencementoftheseclasses.Inordertoensureeachchild’ssuccess,wereservetherighttolimittheamountofachild’sparticipationintheserviceifheorsheisnotspendingsufficienttimepreparing.
AnImportantNoteonEducationalNeeds:OurcongregationtakesgreatprideinmakingeveryBarandBatMitzvahcelebrationspecial.Thereareoccasionswhenspecialeducationalcircumstancesnecessitateanadjustmentinthestudent’smaterials.Ourexpectationisthateachstudentwillworkhardenoughandthatthelevelofeffortwillbedifferentforeachstudent.PleasefeelfreetodiscussanyconcernsyoumighthavewithRabbi,Cantor,ortheReligiousSchoolDirector.
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1.3 7th-gradeHebrewClassWearecommittedtothesuccessofeachofourstudents.StudentsarerequiredtoattendaspecialMondaynightclassfrom6:00pmto6:30pmforHebrewprayerreviewupuntilthetimeoftheirBarorBatMitzvah.1.4 ClergyAppointments
A. Cantorwillhavetwo(2)sessionswitheachBarandBatMitzvahstudenttoreviewprayersandblessings.
B. Rabbiwillmeetwitheachstudentatleastthree(3)timestostudytheTorahportionandwriteaDvarTorah–ateachingbasedonalessonlearnedfromtheTorahportion.
C. Cantorwillconductthefirstfullfamilyrehearsal.Parentsmustbepresent.
STUDENTSAREEXPECTEDTOHAVEALLMATERIALCOMPLETED,MASTEREDANDREADY.PleasecompleteyourALIYAHANDHONORSFORM,includingHebrewnames,priortothismeeting.Ifyouhaveanyquestionsorconcerns,pleasesetupameetingwithamemberoftheClergypriortothistime.
ThefinalrehearsalwilltakeplacetheweekoftheBarorBatMitzvah.Duringtheserehearsals,wewillreview:
A. BarorBatMitzvahparticipationintheservice,includingreadingfromtheTorahandpresentationoftheDvarTorah
B. PassingtheTorahthroughthegenerations
C. Parentspeech
D. Aliyot(namesofthosehonoredbybeingcalleduptobimahtochantablessingbeforetheTorahreadingandablessingaftertheTorahreading)
ThesefamilyrehearsalsarethetimetobringanyfinalquestionsyouhaveconcerningtheBar/BatMitzvah.Wewilldoourverybesttomakeyouandyourfamilycomfortable.ItisNOTnecessaryforsiblingstoattendtheserehearsals.
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WHAT DOES A BAR/BAT MITZVAH DO? TherearebasicallythreeareasofparticipationforaBarorBatMitzvahataShabbatmorningservice:tobeash’liachtzibur(leaderofworship);tochantfromtheTorahandtheHaftarah;andtoofferaDvarTorah,orteachingontheweek’sTorahorHaftarahportion.Sh’liachTziburOneoftheoldestandmostprestigiousrolesinthesynagogueisthesh’liachtzibur.Literally,the“representativeofthecommunity,”thesh’liachtziburleadsthecongregationinprayer.EachBarorBatMitzvahstudentjoinswithRabbiandCantorinthissacredrole.ThebasicHebrewprayersexpectedofallBarandBatMitzvahcandidatesare:
TallitblessingLa-asokB’divreiTorahEiluDvarim(TheObligations)BarchuSh’ma/V’ahavtaAvot/ImahotG’vurotK’dushah/L’dorVadorKiddushforShabbatEveningKiddushforShabbatMorning(V’shamru)Hamotzi
ThestudentmustalsoknowtheTorahandHaftarahblessings.Studentswhoareassignedthe“A”partwillberesponsiblefor:
YotzeirAhavahRabah
Studentswhoareassignedthe“B”partwillberesponsiblefor:ModimSimShalom
Briefdescriptionsoftheseprayersareprovidedinoureducationoverview:https://templebnaior.org/learn/religious-school/education-overview/ TheDvarTorah(TheSermon)PriortothereadingofTorahorHaftarah,theBarorBatMitzvahstudentwilldeliverabrief(three-tofour-minute)sermonontheweek’sTorahorHaftarahportion.ThisteachingwillbepreparedinconsultationwithRabbi.PleaseseeRabbiSatz’sguidelinesonwritingTHEDVARTORAH–INSTRUCTIONSFORTHEBAR/BATMITZVAH
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Advartorahisa“wordofTorah”,alessonthatonedrawsfromatexttoteachtoothers.YouwillstudytheTorahportionwithRabbitofindsomethingmeaningfultoyou,andthenyouwillwriteadvartorahtoteachthisinsighttothecongregationduringtheSaturdaymorningservice.Becomingabar/batmitzvahisaboutbecomingaJewishadult.WeshowthatweareenteringadulthoodinourcommunitybydoingmitzvotthatJewishadultsdolikeleadingprayers,chantingTorah,andteachingTorah.Bywritingandthendeliveringadvartorahfromthebima,youwillbefulfillingthisimportantmitzvahofteaching.Step1—ReadthewholeTorahportioninEnglish,notjusttheversesthatyouarechanting.Whileyouarereading,youcanlookatthecommentaryforclarificationofsomeoftheverses.Afteryouhavereadtheportion,writedownthreethingsfromtheportionthatyouwouldliketodiscusswithRabbi.Thiscanbea“bigpicture”questionlike“WhyaretheretwocreationstoriesinBereshit?”Or,itcanbemorespecificlike,“Whataretzitzit?”Youcanwritedownsomethingthatistroublingorintriguingorsomethingyoudon’tunderstand,etc.ThisistheassignmentafterthefirstmeetingwithRabbi.Step2—YouwilldiscussthesethreethingsinyoursecondmeetingwithRabbi.HewilltrytobringideasthatJewishthinkersofthepasthavesaidaboutthesetopics.Onceallthreetopicshavebeendiscussed,youwillchooseonetowriteaboutinyourdvartorah.Step3—Writethedvartorahbeforeyouthirdmeeting.ItishelpfultoemailittoRabbiSatzbeforethemeeting.rabbisatz@templebnaior.orgHereisabriefoutlineofwhatadvartorahmightlooklike.
I. Thisweek’sTorahportionis___A. Inthisweek’sportionwefindtheverse,“______”B. ThisRabbiexplainstheversethisway...
II. IthinktheTorahissayingthisA. Howthispointrelatestoyourlife(mightincludeapersonalstory)B. Whatcanwealllearnfromthis?
III. Summaryand“ShabbatShalom”
Advartorahshouldbeabouttwopagesdouble-spaced.SHABBAT FRIDAY EVENING BLESSINGS
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1.5 InstructionsforthehonorofleadingtheFridayNightCandleBlessings
1. WhenyournameiscalledbyRabbi,pleasestandinfrontofthemicrophonenearthecandlesontheupperbima.Cantorwillbegintosingaprayer“OhHearOurPrayer.”
2. WhenCantorsings“Letuslighttheselights”,usethelitcandletolighttheothertwocandles.Itdoesnotmatterwhichcandleyoulightfirst.Whenyouaredonelightingthecandles,replacetheoriginalcandleintheholder.
3. ReadtheEnglishtext.CantorwilltellyouwhichEnglishtextatyourchild’sfinalrehearsal.
4. RecitetheHebrewprayerandtheEnglishtranslationthatfollowsit:
BlessedareYou,AdonaiourGod,Sovereignoftheuniverse,whohallowsuswithmitzvot,commandingustokindlethelightofShabbat.
5. ThecongregationandCantorwillsingtheHebrewtext.6. Youmayreturntoyourseatwhenthemusichasended.
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1.6 InstructionsforthehonorofleadingtheFridayNightKiddushWhenyournameiscalled,pleasegowithyourchildtothepulpitontheupperbima.Youmayshareyourchild’ssiddhur(prayerbook)onpage4.Liftthecupofwineandreadthefollowing:
Andtherewaseveningandtherewasmorning,thesixthday.TheHeavenandtheEarthwerefinished,andalltheirarray.OntheseventhdayGodfinishedtheworkthatGodhadbeendoing,andGodceasedontheseventhdayfromalltheworkthatGodhaddone.AndGodblessedtheseventhdayanddeclareditholy,becauseonitGodceasedfromalltheworkofcreationthatGodhaddone.
(DONOTTAKEASIP!)HandthecuptotheBar/BatMitzvahwhowillleadthecongregationinthechantingoftheKiddush:
Asthecongregationsings“Amen”,theBar/BatMitzvahwilltakeasipofthewineandhandthecuptoyou.Pleasefinishthecup–itwillbegoinghomewithyou.
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.TheK’riatHaTorah(TorahReading)EachBarorBatMitzvahstudentassumestheroleoftheba-al(at)k’riah,“Torahreader,”fortheday.Thisentailsthelearningoffourparshiyot,orselectionsfromtheweek’sTorahportion,whichamountstotentotwelveverses.Eachstudentisexpectedtolearnthetrope,ortraditionalcantillationmelody.ThisskillistaughtbyCantorandthecoachesinprivatetutoringsessions.TheBarorBatMitzvahcandidatewillchanttheTorahblessingsonlyforthefourthandfinalaliyah,whichwecalltheMaftir.Thepreviousaliyotaregiventofamilymembersandfriends.TheHaftarahFollowingthereadingofTorah,theBarorBatMitzvahstudentwillchanttheHaftarah,orsecondarybiblicalreading,alongwiththeaccompanyingHaftarahblessings.LiketheTorahreading,theHaftarahischantedaccordingtoaspecificmelodytobelearnedwithCantor.ThenumberofversestobereadwillbedeterminedbyCantor.InthecaseofadoubleB’naiMitzvah,oneofthestudentswilldeliveraDvarTorahontheHaftarahportionandtheotherwilldelivertheDvarTorahontheTorahportion.FridayNightItiscustomaryfortheBarorBatMitzvahstudenttoleadthecongregationinKiddushattheFridaynightserviceprecedingtheBarorBatMitzvahservice.InthecaseofmultipleB’naiMitzvah,allstudentswillchanttheKiddushtogether.WHAT DO THE PARENTS OF THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH DO? DuringtheFridayNightService:BothparentsoftheBarorBatMitzvahcandidatewillparticipateinthecandlelightingand/orKiddushduringtheFridayeveningservicebeforetheirchildwillbecomeaBarorBatMitzvah.Ifthereismorethanonefamilyinvolved,RabbiandCantorwillplanasharedparticipation.Fridayeveningservicesbeginpromptlyat7:15pm.TheBarorBatMitzvahstudentmustbeatTempleby6:45pminordertopracticethekiddush.DuringtheSaturdayMorningService:DuringtheserviceonSaturdaymorning,theparentswilladdresstheirchildonthemeaningoftheoccasionandtheimportanceofJudaismintheirfamilyandpasstheTorahtohimorher.ParentswhoarenotJewishareincludedinmostoftheparentalroles.RabbiwillhappilydiscusswithyoutheinvolvementofaparentwhoisnotJewish.
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CHOOSING PEOPLE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE SERVICE PassingtheTorahDuringtheTorahServiceaJewishparentandaJewishgrandparent,asrepresentativesofeachgeneration,willhandtheTorahtotheBarorBatMitzvahstudent,symbolicallyhandingdownourJewishheritagetothenextgeneration.Forfamilieswhodonothavegrandparentspresent,appropriatesubstitutescanbemade.TheBarorBatMitzvahcandidatethenleadstheHakafah(Torahprocession)throughthecongregation.TheentirefamilyistheninvitedtoparticipateintheHakafah.AttheconclusionoftheHakafah,everyonereturnstohisorherseat.HonorsandAliyotHonorsareanimportantpartoftheBarorBatMitzvahceremony.AvarietyofopportunitiesforfamilyandfriendsexistwithintheShabbatmorningworshipservice,asdetailedbelow.TheALIYAH AND HONORS FORMfortheClergycanbefoundinthismanual.ThisformshouldbereturnedtoCantorwhenyourchildbeginstoworkwithher.**PleasereturncompletedformstoCantor6WEEKSPRIORtoyourdate.ALIYOT(pluralforaliyah):Analiyahmeans"ascension".WeelevateourselveswhenreadingfromtheTorah.ItincludesablessingbeforetheTorahreadingandablessingaftertheTorahreading.Therearefouraliyot.Youmaychooseupto12individualsforthreeofthefouraliyot.Generally,thefirsttwoaliyotareforfriendsandfamily,andthethirdaliyahisfortheparent(s).ThelastaliyahisreferredtoastheMaftirandcallstheBarorBatMitzvahcandidateuptochanttheblessings.Inordertobecalledforanaliyah,apersonmust1)beJewish,2)beatleast13yearsofage,and3)beabletorecitetheblessingsinHebrew.HebrewandtransliteratedblessingswillbeavailableonthebimahandcanbefoundinBLESSINGS FOR THE READING OF TORAH AND ALTERNATIVE READINGS inthismanual.WECANNOTSTRESSENOUGHTHEIMPORTANCEOFTHOSEWHOAREBEINGCALLEDTORECITETHETORAHBLESSINGSTOPRACTICEBEFOREHAND,ESPECIALLYWITHTHOSEWITHWHOMTHEYWILLBESAYINGTHEMTOGETHER!ImportantNoteforFamilyMembersWhoAreNotJewishTherecitingoftheTorahblessingsisonlyperformedbyaJewishadult;however,afamilymemberwhoisnotJewishmaybehonoredduringanyaliyahwithoneoffouralternatereadingsin BLESSINGS FOR THE READING OF TORAH AND ALTERNATIVE READINGS.AtthefamilyrehearsalwithRabbi,pleaseindicatethepassagesthatyouandyourfamilymemberswillbereading.
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AdditionalHonorsTORAHDRESSERS:Youcanselect2or3peopletocometothebimahtodresstheTorah.TheseindividualsdonothavetobeJewish,canbeofanyage,anddonotsayanything.TORAHHOLDER:OneJewishadultwillsitholdingtheTorahafteritisread.ForadoubleB'naiMitzvahceremony,onlyonepersondoesthis.CHOOSING PEOPLE TO HELP DURING THE SERVICE Thefamilyisalsoresponsibleforsupplyingsomehelpersfortheservice.Thenamesofthesepeopleneedtobesuppliedsix(6)weekspriortotheservice.PleaseusetheHUSHER AND USHER FORM.Thehelpersthatareneededare:Ushers.Togreetguestsastheyenterthesanctuaryandhandeachguestasiddur(prayerbook)andaShabbatmorninghandout.(Twoushersareneededforasingle,oneusherperfamilyforadouble.)Ushersneedtoremainatthedoorsuntil10minutesintotheservice.Ifyourassignedushershavenotarrivedby10:10amforthe10:30amservice,pleaseaskotherstoactintheirplaceuntiltheyarrive.Hushers.WearepleasedtohavethepeersofourB’naiMitzvahcandidatesasourguests.Pleaseprovideoneadult“husher”perevery10to12unaccompaniedyouthwhowillbeattendingtheservice.Thehusherssitoneithersideofthesectionreservedforyouthduringtheservice.Itistheirresponsibilitytomakesurethatthereisnotexcessivewhispering,orotherbehaviorinappropriateduringareligiousservice.Thehushers,iftheyfeelitnecessary,mayseparatechildrenwhoaredisruptiveoraskthemtositwiththeusher.Weprovideaspecialsectionreservedforyouth.Unaccompaniedyouthmaynotsitinthebalcony.PresenterfromtheTempleBoard.ArepresentativefromtheTempleBoardwillmakepresentationstotheB’naiMitzvahstudents.Note:Forthosewhoarehomeboundandunabletoattendtheserviceinperson,wearepleasedtoprovideLIVEstreamingoftheBarorBatMitzvahworshipservice.AlinktolivestreamingisavailableontheTBOhomepagehttps://templebnaior.org/.
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THE PARENT SPEECH on SATURDAY MORNING TheremarksthatyouaddresstoyourchildaremeanttoputameaningfulframearoundthissacredoccasionandtheexperienceofbecomingaBarorBatMitzvah.
• Whatisitthatyouwishtopassontoyourchild?• Whatisyour“torah”–theJewishvaluesyouhavethatyouwishtogiveto
himorher?Inyourremarks,pleasefollowtheseguidelines:
1. Saywhatyouwouldliketosay,keepingyourremarksbrief.Understandthateveryoneisstandingduringthisentiretime.Theaddressshouldbenolongerthantwo(2)type-writtendouble-spacedpages,notincludingtheparagraphbelow.Thisis600wordsmaximum.
2. Saynothingembarrassingaboutortoyourchild.(Nobirthstories,please.)3. Pleasedonotmentionyourchild'sgradesinschool.Jewishself-esteem,for
yourchildorforchildrenlisteninginthecongregation,shouldbebasedonthekindofpersonyouare,notwhatgradesyouget.Makingreferencetohowwellonedoesinschoolwithoutsayinganythingaboutgradesmaybeappropriate.
4. Inadditiontosayingwhatyouwouldlikeaboutyourchild,makesurethatyoumakereferencetowhatitmeanstoyouandyourfamilytobepassingdownthistorah/theJewishheritage.
5. Remember,thisisnotabragsheet.Itisnotatimetorevisitallthewonderfulandimpressivemomentsinyourchild’sthirteenyearsoflife--e.g.,“whenyouwerethree,wewereamazedthatyousaid....”or"Iwillneverforgethowyoudid_____whenyouwereonlynine.”Rather,yourspeechshouldfocusonthevaluesandcharactertraitsyourchilddemonstratesaswellasthevaluesandcharactertraitsyouwishtoencourageinhimorher.WhatdoesitmeantoyouthatyouarepassingdowntheJewishheritagetoyourchild?
Pleasenote:ifoneoftheparentsisnotJewish,itistheJewishparentwhoholdstheTorah.TheparentwhoisnotJewishmaypresentthespeech.FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS WhotakescareoftheOnegShabbatandMotzi?ThefamilyoftheBarorBatMitzvahchildwillhostanOnegShabbatonFridayevening.TheTemplewillarrangeforfoodandsetup.Ifyouhavespecialneedsorrequests,pleaseinformtheExecutiveDirector.ThecontributionfortheOnegShabbatisincludedintheBarorBatMitzvahflatfee.OnSaturdaymorningaMotzi(blessingoverthechallah)intheSanctuaryortheSocialHallconcludestheservice.Alargechallahisprovided.
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ShouldmychildwearaTallit(PrayerShawl)?YourchildmayweareitherafamilyTallit,oronepurchasedormadefortheoccasion.ItishopedthattheTallitisnotaBarorBatMitzvahcostumebutsomethingtobewornonacontinuingbasis.TallitotareavailablethroughourJudaicashop.DoIneedtosupplykippot(skullcaps),andifso,whatkind?ManyfamiliesorderkippottobeofferedtotheirguestsduringtheserviceinwhichtheirchildbecomesaBarorBatMitzvah.KippotareavailableforpurchasethroughourJudaicaShop.Thesekippotareputinthesanctuarylobbyonthemorningofyourchild’sserviceforworshipperswhochoosetowearthem.Ifyouchoosenottopurchasekippot,Templeprovidesthemforyourguests.Ifyouhaveanyquestionsconcerningwhatisandisnotwithintheguidelines,pleasecontactRabbi,Cantor,ortheExecutiveDirector.Whataboutphotographyandvideotaping?Photographyorvideotapingisnotpermittedduringtheservice.OftenphotographsaretakenonthemorningoftheBarorBatMitzvahservice,oryoumaychoosetotakephotographsonadifferentday.PleasebesuretocalltheTempleOfficetoschedulephototimesinordertoavoidschedulingconflictswithongoingTempleprogramsorevents.TheClergywillbeavailableforphotosonanappointmentbasistobescheduledthroughtheOfficestaff.WhattimeshouldIlistontheinvitation?10:15AM,for10:30AMservice.CanIhaveadinneratTemplepriortoShabbatservicesonFridaynight?TheBeitMidrashmayberentedforthisdinner.CanIhavemycelebrationatTempleaftertheSaturdaymorningservice?TheArestySocialHallmayberentedforyourcelebratoryluncheon.PleaseseeSCHEDULE OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH FEES (and what that fee includes)inthismanual.PleasecontacttheExecutiveDirectorifyouareinterestedinSocialHallrental.Ifoutsidecaterersaretobeused;checkwiththeExecutiveDirectorforguidelines.MyspouseandIaredivorced.Howisthathandled?Eachsituationisuniqueandhasitsownsensitivities.PleasediscussthiswithRabbiwhohashadyearsofexperiencewiththesematters.
B’naiMitzvahManual5780(2019-2020)
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SCHEDULE OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH FEES (and what that fee includes) Aflatratefeeof$2,000.00*willbebilledtoyouraccountatthetimeoftheB’naiMitzvahorientationmeetingfor6th-gradefamilies.PleasecontacttheTempleOfficesowecanarrangeapaymentschedule.*Thefeeincludes,mostsignificantly,Bar/BatMitzvahtrainingandcoachingsessions,individualandfamilymeetingswithRabbiandCantor,theOnegShabbatonFridayevening(food,set-up,etc.),flowersforthebimah,afamilycoffeestationforShabbatmorning,andchallahandwineforthemotzi. Bar/BatMitzvahtrainingandcoachingwillonlybeginafterallfinancialarrangementshavebeenmade.Thebalanceofallfees,includingtuitionforthereligiousschoolyearinwhichyourchildcelebratesbecomingBarorBarMitzvah,aredueinfullthree(3)monthspriortoyourchild’sBarorBatMitzvahdate. SocialHallusage,ifavailable:A$250.00depositisrequiredtoreservetheSocialHallorcourtyard,withthebalancedueinfullthree(3)monthspriortoyourceremony.Inaddition,caterersarerequiredtopaya$250securitydeposittwo(2)weekspriortotheBarorBatMitzvahdate.
LindaGrandisBlattArtGallery……………………………………………….……….……...$250.00*UsageFeeforSocialHallincludesKitchenuse........................................................$1000.00*UsageFeeforSocialHallforSimpleKiddush(noKitchenuse).........................,$750.00*UsageFeeforSocialHallandFoyer................................................................................$900.00*UsageFeeforCourtyard.......................................................................................................$500.00*UsageFeeforBeitMidrash……………………...................................................................$250.00**PricesaresubjecttochangeInhonorofyourchild’sBarorBatMitzvah,ortorecognizeorshowappreciationfortheClergyorprofessionalstaff,contributionsmaybemadeatyourdiscretionto:
RabbiSatzDiscretionaryFundCantorDadoun-Cohen’sDiscretionaryFundRabbiZ.DavidlevyEndowmentFundRabbiDonaldB.RossoffScholarshipFundJoel&HelenJacobsReligiousSchoolEndowmentFundBuildingFundGeneralGivingFundFrancesandHerbertBrodyPre-SchoolFundLisaK.GoldbergPre-SchoolFundShabbatShiraSecurityFund
PleaserefertoTEMPO,ourTempleDirectory,fordetailedinformationregardingeachfund.
B’naiMitzvahManual5780(2019-2020)
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THE DVAR TORAH – INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH Advartorahisa“wordofTorah”,alessonthatonedrawsfromatexttoteachtoothers.YouwillstudytheTorahportionwithRabbitofindsomethingmeaningfultoyou,andthenyouwillwriteadvartorahtoteachthisinsighttothecongregationduringtheSaturdaymorningservice.Becomingabar/batmitzvahisaboutbecomingaJewishadult.WeshowthatweareenteringadulthoodinourcommunitybydoingmitzvotthatJewishadultsdolikeleadingprayers,chantingTorah,andteachingTorah.Bywritingandthendeliveringadvartorahfromthebima,youwillbefulfillingthisimportantmitzvahofteaching.Step1—ReadthewholeTorahportioninEnglish,notjusttheversesthatyouarechanting.Whileyouarereading,youcanlookatthecommentaryforclarificationofsomeoftheverses.Afteryouhavereadtheportion,writedownthreethingsfromtheportionthatyouwouldliketodiscusswithRabbi.Thiscanbea“bigpicture”questionlike“WhyaretheretwocreationstoriesinBereshit?”Or,itcanbemorespecificlike,“Whataretzitzit?”Youcanwritedownsomethingthatistroublingorintriguingorsomethingyoudon’tunderstand,etc.ThisistheassignmentafterthefirstmeetingwithRabbi.Step2—YouwilldiscussthesethreethingsinyoursecondmeetingwithRabbi.HewilltrytobringideasthatJewishthinkersofthepasthavesaidaboutthesetopics.Onceallthreetopicshavebeendiscussed,youwillchooseonetowriteaboutinyourdvartorah.Step3—Writethedvartorahbeforeyouthirdmeeting.ItishelpfultoemailittoRabbiSatzbeforethemeeting.rabbisatz@templebnaior.orgHereisabriefoutlineofwhatadvartorahmightlooklike.
IV. Thisweek’sTorahportionis___C. Inthisweek’sportionwefindtheverse,“______”D. ThisRabbiexplainstheversethisway...
V. IthinktheTorahissayingthisC. Howthispointrelatestoyourlife(mightincludeapersonalstory)D. Whatcanwealllearnfromthis?
VI. Summaryand“ShabbatShalom”
Advartorahshouldbeabouttwopagesdouble-spaced.
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SHABBAT FRIDAY EVENING BLESSINGS 1.7 InstructionsforthehonorofleadingtheFridayNightCandleBlessings
7. WhenyournameiscalledbyRabbi,pleasestandinfrontofthemicrophonenearthecandlesontheupperbima.Cantorwillbegintosingaprayer“OhHearOurPrayer.”
8. WhenCantorsings“Letuslighttheselights”,usethelitcandletolighttheothertwocandles.Itdoesnotmatterwhichcandleyoulightfirst.Whenyouaredonelightingthecandles,replacetheoriginalcandleintheholder.
9. ReadtheEnglishtext.CantorwilltellyouwhichEnglishtextatyourchild’sfinalrehearsal.
10. RecitetheHebrewprayerandtheEnglishtranslationthatfollowsit:
BlessedareYou,AdonaiourGod,Sovereignoftheuniverse,whohallowsuswithmitzvot,commandingustokindlethelightofShabbat.
11. ThecongregationandCantorwillsingtheHebrewtext.12. Youmayreturntoyourseatwhenthemusichasended.
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1.8 InstructionsforthehonorofleadingtheFridayNightKiddushWhenyournameiscalled,pleasegowithyourchildtothepulpitontheupperbima.Youmayshareyourchild’ssiddhur(prayerbook)onpage4.Liftthecupofwineandreadthefollowing:
Andtherewaseveningandtherewasmorning,thesixthday.TheHeavenandtheEarthwerefinished,andalltheirarray.OntheseventhdayGodfinishedtheworkthatGodhadbeendoing,andGodceasedontheseventhdayfromalltheworkthatGodhaddone.AndGodblessedtheseventhdayanddeclareditholy,becauseonitGodceasedfromalltheworkofcreationthatGodhaddone.
(DONOTTAKEASIP!)HandthecuptotheBar/BatMitzvahwhowillleadthecongregationinthechantingoftheKiddush:
Asthecongregationsings“Amen”,theBar/BatMitzvahwilltakeasipofthewineandhandthecuptoyou.Pleasefinishthecup–itwillbegoinghomewithyou.
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BLESSINGS FOR THE READING OF TORAH AND ALTERNATIVE READINGS TheblessingsforthereadingoftheTorahinHebrewandtransliterationarebelowandwillbeprovidedtoyouonthebimah.Topreparetochanttheseblessings,weencourageyoutolistentothisrecordingoftheblessingsbeingchantedbyacantor:https://reformjudaism.org/sites/default/files/t10r6-torah-chanted.mp31.9 BlessingbeforethereadingoftheTorahThepersonwhoiscalledtotheTorah(Oleh/Olah)says:
Bar'chuetAdonaiham’vorach.BlessAdonaiwhoisblessed.Thecongregationresponds:
BaruchAdonaiham’vorachl’olamva-ed.BlessedisAdonaiwhoisblessednowandforever.TheOleh/Olahthensays:
BaruchAdonaiham’vorachl’olamva-ed.Baruchatah,AdonaiEloheinu,Melechhaolam,asherbacharbanumikolhaamim,v’natanlanuetTorato.Baruchatah,Adonai,noteinhaTorah.BlessedisAdonaiwhoisblessednowandforever.BlessedareYou,AdonaiourGod,Sovereignoftheuniverse,whohaschosenusfromamongthepeoples,andgivenustheTorah.BlessedareYou,Adonai,whogivestheTorah.
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1.10 BlessingafterreadingTorahWhenthereadingconcludes,theOleh/Olahsays:
Baruchatah,AdonaiEloheinu,Melechhaolam,ashernatanlanuToratemet,v’chayeiolamnatab’tocheinu.Baruchatah,Adonai,noteinhaTorah.BlessedareYou,AdonaiourGod,Sovereignoftheuniverse,whohasgivenusaTorahoftruth,implantingwithinuseternallife.BlessedareYou,Adonai,whogivestheTorah.
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1.11 EnglishReadingsforaFamilyMemberWhoisNotJewish(PleaseChooseOneReading)
Sourceofallknowledge,teacherofallhumanity,yourevealyourselftousintheorderandbeautyofnature,inthecallofconscience,andinthegreatnessofmomentssuchasthis.Theheartsandmindsofchildrensenseyourpresence,asitiswritten:"OutofthemouthsoftheyoungYouhaveestablishedyourstrength."Wethankyoufortheblessingoflifeandgrowth;oflearningandknowledge.Maytheybringustogreaterdeedsofgoodnessintheyearstocome.Humblydowegivethanksforthisdayandfortheyearsofgrowthandlearningthathaveprecededit.Nowas______________stepsforwardtoaffirmhis/hercommitmenttotheidealsandgoodnessshe/hehasbeentaught,oursoulsarejoyfulandourmindsatpeace.Wepraythatthisday’sservicemaylongechoin_______________memory.Mayitbeengravedonthetabletofher/hishearttheunderstandingthatthisdayinitiatesalifemorefirmlydedicatedtohis/herheritage,todeedsofjusticeandkindness,andtofaithfulmembershipinthecommunityofallhumanity.OGod,makeeachofusaworthyexampletothenextgeneration.Letnothingestrangeusfromthemandfromyou,thesourceofallgoodnessandcompassion.Helpus,againandagain,torenewourattachmenttoallpeople,towalkhand-in-handwith_________________towardalifeofmeaningandrighteousness.
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ALIYAH AND HONORS FORM Pleaseemail,mail,fax,ordropoffthisformtoCantoratyourfirstmeetingwithher.Keepacopyforyourself.PLEASEPRINTCLEARLY.Candidate:________________________________________Bar/BatMitzvahDate_________________Candidate’sHebrewName___________________________________________________________________Mother’sName________________________Mother’sHebrewName___________________________Father’sName_________________________Father’sHebrewName____________________________Siblings’Namesandages______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
ALIYOT:Maximumof12,nominimum.PLEASEPRINTCLEARLYTheHebrewTorahblessingsmustbedonebyJewishfamilymembersorfriends.FamilymemberswhoarenotJewishcancomeuptothebimahtochooseaspecialEnglishReadingsforaFamilyMemberWhoisNotJewish.IfyouwouldliketohaveyourfamilymemberswhoarenotJewishparticipate,pleaseindicateontheformthattheywillbereadingEnglishOnly.
ALYIAH1EnglishName HebrewName HebrewNamesofMother&Father Relationship
ALIYAH2EnglishName HebrewName HebrewNamesofMother&Father Relationship
ALIYAH3EnglishName HebrewName HebrewNamesofMother&Father RelationshipParentsofBar/BatMitzvahand,ifdesired,siblingsovertheageof13. Continuedonnextpage
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AliyahandHonorsFormContinuedTorahDressers: _____________________________________,__________________________________,_____________________________________,__________________________________TorahHolder:(anyadultorpostBar/tMitzvahindividual)______________________________________________________________________WillBar/BatMitzvahcandidatebewearingaTallit?(pleasecircle)YESNOWhowillbeplacingtheTallit?__________________________________________________Whowillbegivingaspeech?(pleasecircle).MOM DADWhentakingtheouttheTorah,shallwehanditto(pleasecircle) MOM DADWillBar/BatMitzvahcandidateneedastepatthebimah?YES NO NOTSUREKaddish:PleaselistbelownamesthatyouwouldlikecommemoratedwhenreadingKaddish.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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HUSHER AND USHER FORM ShortlyyouwillbecelebratingyourchildbecomingaBar/BatMitzvah.Listedbelowarethepositionsandhonorsthatneedtobefilled.PLEASECALLTHEOFFICEIFYOUHAVEANYQUESTIONS973.539.4539.PLEASEEMAIL,MAILORFAX(973.539.2758)THISSHEETTOTHETEMPLEOFFICESIXWEEKSPRIORTOTHEBAR/BATMITZVAHDATE.BESURETOKEEPACOPYFORYOURSELF.PLEASEPRINTALLNAMESASYOUWANTTHEMTOAPPEARINPROGRAM.Candidate:_____________________________________Bar/BatMitzvahdate:_____________NumberofGuestsexpectedatFridayService:__________NumberofGuestsexpectedatSaturdayService.Adults:_______Children:______ USHERS: ThefollowinghaveagreedtobeUshersattheService:_____________________________________________________________________________________________(oneforadouble,twoforasingle) HUSHERS:Weexpecttohaveapproximately_____unaccompaniedyouthattheService,requiring_____“hushers”(oneper10-12youth).ThefollowinghaveagreedtobeHushersattheService:_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________KIPPOT: WillyouhavepersonalizedKippot?(Pleasecircle)YESNO
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