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How to go mad.
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ToMadness
A collection of poemsThe Complete Works
EdshuAn old man sat next to me one day in the park
“Hey there young fellow, you up for a lark?”
I shot this man a curious glance
“What the hell” I thought,I’ll take a chance
He walked to the path a placed down a coin
A crooked smile he sent, than with me again he did join
Of just what would happen I was told
As before my eyes the events began to unfold
The sequence anticipated worked out a treat
A half dozen people were soon off their feet
On his ideas he would soon elaborate
In a short time great plans we would collaborate
I listened carefully as he began to show
What underlines nature and how all things flow
We worked well together I must confess
Great joy we took from the fruits of success
Then one day I saw him no more
But the seed had been planted, he’d opened the door
On my laurels I could not rest
Eager to pass my very first test
I used a coin too to make the occasion
Excited and nervous in anticipation
With meticulous detail I carefully planned
Soon an occupied port-a-loo was buried in sand
At what had occurred all were confused
As I walked away secretly amused
To free up the toilet the people did strive
And as expected the man came out alive
For the time being I was satisfied
But more I needed I must confide
Bored again, oh how my heart wrenched
The nectar was sweet but the thirst wasn’t quenched
From failures and success over time I did learn
How to satisfy these feeling I yearn
Now many years have passed and I’m quite old
Not a moment regretted if truth be told
The time has come to pass on the sword
To hunt down someone who is feeling quite bored
A waste it would be for this to end
A like minded person I need to befriend
How to find this individual that is sought
And rather soon now as my time is now short
This task is by no means easy
The notions suggested make many feel queasy
But alas I have spotted him as the sky’s getting dark
“Hey there young fellow, you up for a lark?”
I be Me and you be You
Okay it’s time to step into the grove
For I have something to prove
Despite my youth, my extreme lack of age
I approach locked doors with refrained rage
I’ve seen this world from so many angles
You move in circles whilst I in triangles
For with them one can lay an excellent foundation
Some are scared to leave their town, I’m looking at the next nation
And truth be told I’m part thespian
By the split second I change personality again and again
For there’s an ideal approach to every situation
And I know what is best to receive adulation
I’m not a fraud, merely an actor
And an excellent judge of character
Following spirals back to their start
There is no role that I can’t play the part
For you won’t find my ambitions sitting on the shelf
I’m not precarious, just true to myself
There quite a lot in the head on these shoulders
I’m more than capable of shifting large boulders
You see me as fragile and think I’m absurd
But to remove the obstacle just requires the right word
For all of my travels I’ve amassed great wisdom
Slowly but surely forging my own kingdom
Still awaiting the queen to place on the throne
Who can comprehend and appreciate just what is shown
For the world is quite different if you look through my eyes
When you know what I do you can command the skies
But I won’t do it, won’t show you me
Unless I’m certain you’ll let things be
For the world will be just a little bit crueler
If your intentions are to become just another ruler
For the first thing that you must learn to see
Is that you should only move through space that is free
For anger and resistance you will surely meet
If you’re forever stepping on peoples feet
You might be surprised by all the ample space
When you step outside and leave this beloved rat race
And concede to yourself that life is all about time
Being happy with yourself is far from a crime
It can be difficult being free to not be envied
To lessen this your wisdom can help them get freed
From the fears and walls existing in their mind
And it takes just a second to stop and be kind
So pause for a minute and heed my advice
People will let you be free so long as you’re nice
Hawaiian Shirt and a Bullet-proof VestI painted myself into a corner and waited till it dried
So bored I was watching it a thought I might have died
But time did pass and the colour came out
The end result I never did doubt
I left the last section completely undone
My own little reminder of my fun
You see while the face was blank the mind still ticked
Again all that observed had been left tricked
For standing in the corner all on my own
My understanding of the world had grown
As the dust settles I've time on my hands
Crossing the t's of all of my plans
Silence consumes and empty mind
Inside that of a sage there's plenty to find
Locked in a cage awaiting to break free
Paying attention to all that I see
The guards talk so freely, thinking I'm trapped
More and more of their knowledge I've sapped
It would be foolish to taunt them whilst still in this cage
This position I'm in is susceptible to their rage
My palace is being build somewhere far behold their eyes
Inside my treasure already lies
But the walls are not finished and there's still a draft
So I'll just continue sitting here looking daft
It's ironic that it's me who's paying these guards
As they spit at me and fill my food with shards
Will I seek vengeance and reveal my true form?
I will I let them continue the norm?
Why when my castle awaits
Should I bother with them and their miserable fates?
Without TitleWhen to look forward and when to look back
Mistakes caused by ignorance can be cut some slack
Benevolence lurks in the minds of few creatures
Superficial behaviour more regularly features
Empty the mind so it can be refilled
Another perspective, another fear quelled
More ideas obtained from a new insight
Preparing oneself for the next new fight
At first understanding is just plain perplexing
But once comprehended I’m left vexing
Towards those who prosper from malice and spite
Believing all they do is just and right
But angry at them I can not remain
Working against them would drive me insane
The best I can do is ignore and avoid
At not become another droid
So much beauty in the world today
So many reasons to stay
It’s futile and fruitless to seek out utopia
When so many people fall victim to myopia
No one is seeking to bring forth the end
Everyone needs someone to befriend
You can’t understand heat without knowing the cold
Nor appreciate youth without seeing the old
Time will separate the loud from the wise
From those who object and those who antagonise
Tragedy is merely a point of view
Look beyond yourself and you’ll see what holds true
The violence of nature is nothing if not fair
Everyone and everything earning its share
Pain, suffering and death must visit us all
What matters most is the desire to get up after the fall
Flesh prisonWith the universe I want to mesh
But alas I'm still trapped inside this flesh
I've had to curb all my expectations
As this damn body has too many limitations
Forgot to eat again so my stomach rumbles
Took a bad pill again so my mind tumbles
Damn consciousness, it's too restricting
There are no surprises because I'm always predicting
And observing how to each stimulus the body will react
Doing what it must to remain intact
I've tried just about everything to escape
Though at the end of the day I'm still this ape
There is so much out there for me to explore
The universe is vast, so much to adore
But I'm stuck here in this flesh cage
Unable to get out I'm filling up with rage
The closest I can get to escaping all these lies
Is to just lie back and close my eyes
Separate myself from all sensation
And wait patiently for another revelation
It may take awhile but it will arrive
To gain a new understanding of what it means to be alive
I'm about to sneeze so my nose twitches
I neglect my hygiene so my foot itches
This is a prison not a vessel
There is no comfortable place for me to nestle
But ironically without it I won't know a thing
Wouldn't see that car or here that phone ring
It's the only way with the world I can interact
So I guess I should be appreciative of this fact
And my body's complaints I aggressively resist
But without it I just would not exist
Primitive argumentReturning again to the scene of old crimes
Tracing back steps and overlooking old times
To be honest I hold very little remorse
What’s done is done, just part of the course
My beliefs and ideals might be somewhat unorthodox
But why not look a little closer at this alleged paradox
Is everything simply just black and white?
What do you know to say what is right?
I care very little for it and leave the bounds of the norm
Look a little closer into the tea cup and you’ll see the storm
For the here and now my actions may be disrespectful
But to what I’ve seen I’ve had more than a gutful
Too many are blissfully unaware of there surrounds
Eyes trained on glitter, ears on pleasant sounds
It’s come to be like this for a reason not simple ‘because’
I know for a fact this isn’t how it’s always been in Oz
Take a minute to look at the events that defines
If you just stop and look you’ll see the signs
That point rather clearly to the interests that motivate
Manipulating and observing, as to their ends they navigate
I care not that I’m hated but frustrated not to be understood
Could you look back and understand when everything made was stone and wood
For it’s not really been that long since we abandoned the caves
There we’re tribal dances long before raves
I’ll state here and now fro what I am seeing
No matter how you size it up your still a primal being
So drop the façade of the so called sophistication
And look beyond the realm of your education
So time and care have been given to prepare your feast
That doesn’t mean shit, you’re still a beast
Though systems and logic carry some sway
They’re not the rules that end up governing your day
All’s said and done your highly emotive
It’s not that hard to convince you to give
Appeal to the senses to win over hearts
That’s how it’s come to be, that’s how it starts
Agent BlueFrom time to time I’ll pop up on the radar
Who’s to say for sure I’m not an invader
I’ll pick the right time and place to defile
All adding up to create my profile
Am I something to fear?
Or an obstruction to jeer?
At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter
As it’s my head, not my wallet that’s getting fatter
Stepping out into the land of giants
Just an observer for now, watching the tyrants
Understanding the game and learning the rules
Choosing my cards whilst forging my own tools
Staying agile as I sift through the papers
Still taking some time out to participate in a few capers
To baffle and confuse and question my stability
Creating illusions to mask my true capability
Impatient as I am I have wisdom as a virtue
Keeping a level head I’ll find a way through
Trapped on an island but it’s just for a moment
As they’re hopeful this time will cause me to lament
But let’s face facts and look at what’s true
AS far as my life goes I’ve nothing better to do
Stand for the crowd and be shouted down a fool
It’s stands more to reason to stay away from that pool
Splinter were necessary and create new tangents
That’s how I’ll play this one ladies and gents
Why open the eyes of the undisturbed
When this is short sighted and the effects are curbed
There’s already people inside, many involved
Shifting there thought patterns is how it will be solved
Within their own structures allegiances are shifted
My ideas become know with barely a finger lifted
Chaos behind the scene, the world’s rather fickle
And my own thoughts and actions are barely a trickle
Into the pool of thoughts, the realm of potential’s
But I want those to remember what are the essentials
Freedom of thought and the opportunity to reach goals
And not always having others hands’ on the controls
Whilst an individual is capable of producing the worst
We need not come down heavy handed for every outburst
The problem of scarcity is not over bearing
But when at other’s luxuries one is always glaring
One gets out of joint
And misses the point
To just consume blindly and follow the Jones’
You don’t help yourself, you’re just feeding your owners
In our current state a free mind is a danger
And it’s not likely we’ll find another babe in a manger
But if we could even up the field
More widely distribute the yield
Problems become less and less frequent
And our race can once again be eloquent
For I’m sick of all the greed
And knees on necks of those in need
Witnessing all this my heart rages
As I feel spiritually we’re back in the Dark Ages
So many advances have been made by our species
But we’re all still paranoid about our neighbours faeces
And act as if our own carries no scent
When from this hypocrisy will we ever relent
As a whole organism our species is quite daft
If we needed another arc we’d barely manage a raft
By our own actions from the whole we’ve all severed
Poisoning our eternal supply I’m left seeing red
On fears and insecurity the machine is feeding
Flash up a few images and the masses are left needing
Slapped around by the alleged invisible hand
While it’s outline is faint, someone’s in command
So who’s doing what to perpetuate this tragedy?
And what’s the key to making it hold steady?
Let them be aware when I again find my zone
I’m more the capable of going this alone
This race could continually slip forever
And the chains and shackles to which they tether
Can hold this facade up forever more
But I’m going to step up and address the chore
SO the masses lack education and foresight
That’s no reason to abandon the fight
There is still plenty of hope for all of our spawn
In time the notion of change will dawn
SO incite the infected and wise up the ‘in’
To get them to look a little closer at their master’s sin
Despotism, Nepotism, Monarchy and the Senate
Each caters to some whilst others slip through the net
Some say this game will never end
Others wait, the Messiah God will send
I say shut up or step up to the plate
Move to the wheel’s centre and control your own damn fate
Infinite ShadingI'm sorry if from what you're doing I've just disturbed
But I just found out something that left me extremely perturbed
I only just now obtain the answers I had sought
And nothing now is quite what I thought
I don't exactly know where to place the blame
But when I looked in the mirror just now things weren't the same
Just when exactly did something turn this curse on?
That in actual fact I'm more than one person
Just how many I have not yet discovered
There is still a lot of pieces out there to be uncovered
All this time I thought that I was just one
But for all I know I could be everyone under the sun
And this situation it seems I can not reverse
Plus there's another aspect that is even worse
Throughout my travels I carry but one face
But the people I am changes at every time and place
To have to live this way seems unjust, a crime
Especially being several people all at the same time
And now that I've become aware of this fact
I'm a little uncertain as to how I should act
I'll admit that I would be somewhat relieved
If I understood how from each person I'm perceived
But there are too many of you all, too many I say
Remembering all this would consume each and every day
I'll have to accept this and just follow my course
And do my best to use hindsight without any remorse
The only alternative is to lock myself in my room
But with all that idle time, my paranoia will consume
And leave me deeper and darker then my current state
I think I'll avoid this at almost any rate
When I was just me everything was straight forward
Begging your indulgence but can I please return M'Lord?
I don't wish to have to keep in tune to every new trend
I have a fair idea as to how that would all end
With me a step behind alone and confused
I prefer it my way, detached and amused
So some old women when they see me cross the street
Or the occasional maid throws herself at my feet
Or the odd disgruntled male sizes me up for a fight
Why should I always have to second guess what is right?
If I myself fall victim to bewilderment
Discovering the truth? What's there to prevent?
And to be on the lookout for a brand new rumour
Is the pettiest way to obtain ones humour
But people still do this none the less
Which angers me greatly I must confess
Having to utter every sentence with restraint and control
Trying to starve these gossipers is taking its toll
Do I have to be so many people out of love?
Heavens no, it's for all the reasons mentioned above
I seem to be trapped in a problem that's cyclical
But why should I if people are not reciprocal?
So love me or hate me its all just the same
But I refuse to participate in this silly game
Sinner or saint, fraud or the real
You're all the same now, I'll do as I feel
Tails of TalesI think I’m becoming a little remorseful
Of life’s sweet fruit I’ve had but a morsel
My mind is slowly filling up with dread
Why can’t I take that damn woman to bed?
I’m practically perfect of that there’s no dispute
But for each new advance, a more creative refute
I’d thought by now her resistance would’ve dissolved
By each time she seems more and more resolved
I know deep down for me she does yearn
So why is she being so goddamn stubborn?
A new course of action is now required
To get in the pants of this girl that’s desired
There are other avenues of course
But long ago I ruled out brute force
I’ve played it cool and being rather nice
So now it’s time to exploit her worst vice
Okay, so afterwards she’ll feel resentment
And towards that I do carry some sentiment
But with tolerance exhorted my patience’s run dry
If I don’t get inside her I think that I’ll die
Well, perhaps that’s going into extremes
But she crossed the line, she entered my dreams
Not content with just haunting me on earth
It is her not I that gave this madness birth
I’m not out seeking vengeance
Just a return to independence
For she holds my sanity in a prison
And gloated as my anger has risen
Now for either of us there is no escape
I must enter that holy gape
What follows is of no real consequence
For then these feeling will make some sense
Now the plan is in motion, the sets been made
Any moment now she will be laid
Stretched across her face is a look of delusion
Though I’m sure soon it will be replaced by confusion
But I’m justified here as I’ve stated above
It’s not about me it's about pure love
Huh, not unexpected, but that was rather brief
And to make matters worse I feel no relief
Indulging in the moment, which I rather enjoyed
But it didn’t work at all, didn’t feel the void
Something was stirred in me, an answer I sought
But I feel no different, it’s all being for naught
Now lying next to me with such a cute face
I’ve a new burden from this act of disgrace
How best to now tell her how I feel
When I’m no surer if what I’d said was real
This didn’t quite work as anticipated
I was fully expecting to be feeling elated
Her smile now stabs deep into my chest
As her left hand plays coyly with her breast
She still looks heavenly under this lighting
And her words still sound sweet and inviting
I’m no closer as to what I want from this girl I adore
Perhaps the best solution is that we do it once more
Your Call Lieutenant
Lieutenant where to next?
I’m feeling a little vexed
These last few days have been fruitful
But I’m feeling like a tired fool
I need a little time to digest
And my body could use some rest
Perhaps we could just slow the pace
And shave this growth off my face
My responsibilities I’m not trying to shirk
I’m more than happy to continue the work
Just a few moments to lose myself in my head
And adjust my mind to incorporate the new dread
Evaluate it against the desires and hope
Then I’ll again be ready to cope
Some rest I ask
To assist the next task
For I don’t want to stop
Nor desire to drop
Off the ball and spiral into despair
Stuck looking out a window in a prozac stare
I’ll suck it all in and swallow my pride
Strap myself in and continue the ride
Absorbing life to learn, to understand
Defying the latest new brand
To see past the logo and look at the chain
What they create and what they drain
For it’s all an intricate web
The occasional flow followed by the corresponding ebb
But rest assured when it’s all said and done
We’ll help ensure that the right team has won
Do as I say not as I do So you've issued a rite
Declaring me a hypocrite
Well my dear that's known by all
Did you expect to initiate my fall?
So I say one thing and do another
Am I really that different from any other?
Yes you are right, that's beside the point
But please calm down, don't get all out of joint
If you'd observed me then you'd understand
That my life as it stands is far from grand
For the benefit of our humble race
We need a subject for a test case
And I'm not one to pass on the buck
So I bleed a little, who gives a fuck?
I'll take the bullet so that others need not
Do you remember the last time you where shot?
In hindsight one may wonder what could be
So I'll help them out, they can look at me
And let them insert themselves and judge
But against themselves they hold no grudge
But here is something for you to swallow
I'm a damn hard act to follow
For though I still circum to my vices
It is because of this my advice is
Based on something that has some merit
So others can learn from my own regret
How did you obtain the knowledge you use?
From someone who had something to lose
Or feed you a lie, for their own benefit they own what you “choose”
You've no real experiences because you always avoid
So don't get upset if I think you're just a droid
But yes you are right I'm full of shit
But I won't change so just deal with it
Sanity is just my part time job So you say I'm an oddball?
Well better that then a drawl
No need to be vindictive
Because I'm not predictive
Each to his own is what I say
Besides I haven't done anything to ruin your day
Truth be told the whole world is mad
But that's hardly a reason to feel sad
I myself am just out for a laugh
So I may walk, jump or even strafe
To remind myself of just what can be
Some of the ideas I've entertain have left me with glee
For what it's worth I do know restrain
If I hurt another what is there to gain?
Some are close minded and get a little bit peeved
But deep down inside themselves there actually relieved
For if someone can survive who is out of his mind
Then they themselves, their answers they can find
It could be misinterpreted that I am possessed
But they couldn't begin to fathom the information I've processed
Writing bad cheques just to see where they're cashed
Each time from the bearer tongue I'm severely lashed
I care little for my hide is quite thick
Some try to catch me out but I'm too damn quick
I seldom lie, but with the truth I'm economical
I may not be an idiot just because I'm riding a tricycle
Feeding on preconceptions
Creating more misconceptions
So in a few minds I'll drop down a notch
Well I guess that's less people who'll invite me for scotch
But all around us there is just too much humour
I know because I'm occasionally the subject of rumour
Think what you will and do what you like
You want a new car, me, I'll take a bike
Or even a unicycle, I sort of wanted to learn
But what it takes to make you happy is not my concern
Consider me, in making your thoughts overall?
Why would you do that, I'm just an oddball
Let the dog get his own damn bone
A scene that presented itself today explain if you can
Why we feed dogs and pigeons before our fellow man
Is tit that we truly conform to Neitchze
In the belief that some men are a subspecies
I pass no judgement, I've done the same
Are these people themselves alone to blame?
Is it because we couldn't care less
Or believe that there not helpless
Unlike the dogs, cats and gulls
Who have very little inside there skulls
And compared to the animals you can't refute
That some people just ain't that cute
Against these people we've built up a resistance
Believing that they should survive without assistance
But in the confines of a society does it even makes sense
To believe there is such thing as complete independence?
We're all here playing this game of barter
Do you deserve more if you're deemed smarter?
'It's not my problem, I'm not bad'
'That person just has nothing to add'
'His presences is not just undesired'
'It's completely and utterly unrecquired'
Money judges how much anyone is worth
But what about in context to the earth?
Too much lately I've come to see
That the motive for much is summed up as 'me'
When you get done to the nitty gritty
Our minds really aren't all that pretty
Devolution pays the bills I went to school and filled my head with knowledge
So that I could walk tall and avoid all the dredge
But now that I'm out it's not as expected
Nothing learnt at school is in the real world reflected
As the theories count for naught
I have to forget just about all I was taught
For school acts on principles and ideals
Put those professors in the real world to see how it feels
Because people are in reality reluctant and fearful
There's little left for me to be cheerful
What I came to learn could have worked well
But in past successes too many people dwell
Resting on the laurels of those before them
Coming across someone who wants change is seldom
So I'll keep what I know enclosed in my head
I need to eat too; I don't want to end up dead
So I'll take a step back and slow right down
Swimming or treading, either way I won't drown
I can accept how things have come to be
And that at the end of the day all I have is me
But why waste my energy is nothing will change
If new thoughts and ideas are beyond many people's range
I can survive standing on me head and walking on my hands
Gliding through life watching mountains return to the sands
Why should I care that I wasted my time getting an education
I'll listen to theirs but live with my own generation
I'm in no danger of becoming obsolete
Living in this world is an easy feat
So I won't waste my time looking for problems to solve
I've I want to fit in I just have to devolve
Osama bin GoldsteinDeep down inside something isn’t sitting right
I feel pain and anger but I don’t know how to fight
I don’t even know my problem let alone the root of the cause
And in the course of my day I’ve no time to pause
Reflect on the things that have create my pain
I need an answer, I need a god damn name
Someone must be doing this, singling me out
But without a face I have too much doubt
I don’t have time to just sit and ponder
I don’t have time to go off and wonder
To look for the pieces of my own misery
Surely someone has already solved this mystery?
But I can see all around me that I’m not alone
It’s many not just me who’s anger has grown
So tell my please for I have not the time
Who is the person responsible for the crime?
My teeth are almost a paste as they continue to grate
Hurry up and tell me who I should hate
If I know you’re doing everything to bring the guy down
Then I can go on day by day and continue to drown
So long as I know in time he’ll be gone
And I will be happy some time later on
Agent ChangeReturning to the scenes of old crimes
Tracing back steps and overlooking past times
To be honest I hold very little remorse
What’s done is done, just part of the course
My beliefs and ideas may be somewhat unorthodox
But who is looking closer at this paradox?
Nothing is as simple as just black and white
What do you know to say what is right?
I care very little for the bounds of the norm
Take a closer look at the teacup holding the storm
For the here and now my actions seem disrespectful
But I say “fuck you, I’ve had a gutful”
Too many are blissfully unaware of their surrounds
With eyes trained on glitter, and there ears for pleasant sounds
It’s like all this for a reason, not just simply “because”
It hasn’t always been this way here in Oz
Take a minute to look and the events that defines
If you’re a little skeptical you pick up on the signs
That point straight at the interests that motivate
Observing and manipulating as there desires are negotiate
I care not that I’m hated but frustrated not being understood
To bring us to the here and now think of things stone and wood
Since it hasn’t be that long since we abandoned the caves
There were tribal dances well before we started attending raves
I’ll state here and now from what I am seeing
I no more then you are still a primal being
So let’s drop this façade of so called sophistication
And look beyond the realm of our set education
So we’ve advanced to be able to prepare such a feast
That doesn’t mean shit; you’re still just a beast
Though systems and logic carry some sway
That’s not what rules you at the end of the day
All said and done your still highly emotive
It’s not all that hard to convince you to give
Appeal to your senses to win over your hearts
That’s how it’s come to be, that’s where it starts
Swallow some pride and look beyond your own existence
Look from above and see if your life still makes sense
Self Induced ComaWhat exactly is revealed in our dreams?
Perhaps that nothing’s quite what it seems
As we go about our business day by day
They can show the errors of our way
From the thoughts we try to hide
Showing us what’s truly inside
Sometimes they can be disturbing
Or help us when our enthusiasm is curbing
What we can't deny is their origin
Everything revealed comes from within
Connected to the collective subconscious, some say
Believing this may lead one astray
All are born in the depths of our mind
Making us aware of what we sometimes can’t find
From our experiences, they are all there
If you actually take the time to care
To put back the pieces to the puzzle
To free the hound from it’s muzzle
Allowing it to shout and yell
And to the world its intentions tell
But the real world is somewhat constricting
Too few actions, far too much time predicting
Of how our movements may effect those around us
But in our dreams there’s none of this fuss
Universes that often die when we wake
Showing us what’s real and what’s fake
Try as you might to yourself you can not lie
Even if you choose to let life pass you by
For an individual the options are vast
One aspect is avoiding mistakes of the past
But add to this the possibilities of what could be
Reminding us that we are truly free
At each new instant being presented with choice
Every one of us having our own voice
So the dreams do indeed have a vestige
And they carry a simple message
Don’t leave all your wishes on the shelves
This life we are granted is from none but ourselves
Cold Blooded ThrillerSo long ago now it stopped being fun
But it's not something one can stop once it's begun
Back then I felt something as their fears were realized
But that was quite a while ago now I just feel obliged
Past their self centered ranting and raven'
I've slipped into their precious safe haven
I've never even once caused any real harm
Just giving them a serious cause for alarm
For about the real world they bitch and moan
But they always shut up once they've been shown
A little bit of peace and a healthy respect
That from them, is all I expect
For their lives' they choice to ignore
So I show them that chaos is just out their front door
Held back by nothing more then some frayed rope
I could cut it with a butter knife, but they couldn't cope
Grabbing them by the elbows I take them to the edge
Then hold them dangling from the ledge
Let them see what below lurks
At this time their not thinking about company perks
Or who throughout their life they failed to impress
This abyss about to consume them is the problem they address
On occasion one would try to call my bluff
That's when they realize that I can get rough
Soon enough reality takes its toll
As they understand I'm firmly in control
Once they understand that life is not a game
I send them home, as they're no longer the same
I've learnt nothing from these people I taught
And I do what I do without second thought
Whilst my behaviour may be seen as being obscene
I feel nothing at all; it's just become a routine
Memories of these people never enter my head
Even if half of them want me dead
For they grow disenchanted; decide to give it a miss
As the only place they can find me is at the edge of the abyss
Skits and schisms Turn one way to see the innocence of youth
Twist my head slightly and catch a glimpse of the uncouth
What a somewhat weird and wonderful mix
Just kicking back and watching it I get my fix
To step outside and fathom just how it all fits
It’s not any harder then choosing where one sits
The complexity lying behind the here and now
If you watch long enough perhaps you’ll understand how
Some days it seems like it’s in perfect flow
The key to this beauty I want to know
Other days however my perception is darker
As nothing gels and all the contrasts are starker
Each has their own take on the situation
From what they filter of the scene and its duration
Sometimes these little misunderstandings are just amusing
Watching the parts, the whole and the following accusing
But when the matter leads to the presentation of a rifle
Over something that started out being incredibly trifle
Quickly to snowball to soon become too late
As neither party can find a way to articulate
About the basis the actions were foundered
Leaving the other completely floundered
To grasp a new concept in context to the mind’s framework
Taking the time to be calm and tolerant and not go berserk
How can anyone know exactly what was right
If so much existing occurred out of sight
Just show me the toddler in a world of his own
Before into a prejudice, self righteous prick he has grown
This little boy is so much easier to forgive
For he has barely had the chance to truly live
In due time he’ll learn what it means to conform
For now he is still innocent, later you can inform
Of how one must judge of what others will think
So that deeper and deeper into self denial he can sink
Or you could teach him that he is always right
And how he can back up his views with might
But all that can wait for some other day
For the time being just let the poor kid play
GaiaNo time allowed for the taste of serenity to savor
As Mother Nature calls for another favour
Why it’s me that’s she continues to ask
Is most likely because I’m up to the task
Once again my own desires put on hold
Until I’ve completed what I’ve been told
Tempting me forth as she alone knows how
To create or defuse yet another row
When it comes to fruition I’m left with the pieces
As they ad to my own problems my tolerances decreases
I’m slowly beginning to understand how it works out
But to the usefulness of my role I’m left in doubt
There are so many more that are willing to fight
What makes her think that I’ll get it right?
Taking her abuse and weathering the storm
Desiring to one day to reintegrate with the norm
But when the weather becomes mild
I’m still left exiled
Pushed farther away from my race
Waking to the vanquishment of my personal space
No pat on the shoulder for a job well done
No “same again next year, heck this has been fun”
Just a hand on the wrist
Giving an unpleasant twist
To plug me back into the machine
And a plethora of questions as to where I have been
Silently shuffling through in an attempt to integrate
Back with the blinkers on and just looking straight
But she’ll find me again and hand me my sword
And she’ll do it forever because I ask not for a reward
I wish with my whole heart she had eyes to see
Because all of this effort is slowly killing me
I Think I Did It Again I thought she seemed happy but the surface was unscratched
I accidentally made a cut and now she just appears detached
As if she's pretending not to care that someone knows
But I can see through that, she's scared I'll expose
I want to see more but I'm to nervous to burrow
Expecting it to cause some kind of furrow
From the little I've seen that's inside her head
I'm starting to get filled with a sense of dread
Not for myself as I'm completely unaffected
But this woman's life is nothing I expected
It started out like so many I have know
But along the way in a different direction it's grown
But here it's the norm, quite common place
She actually told me this with a completely straight face
Where I dwell I've no doubt on her own she'd thrive
But here she had to do what she did just to survive
I thought it was independence that we all thirst
But no not here, it's family first
A young woman here is incredibly restricted
I've no idea of what they've been pre- convicted
They get the short end of a very long stick
But it won't change because blood is too thick
I saw her again when the weather was mild
Out about walking with husband and child
As not yet two, his world was all a thrill
But the faces of his parents gave me a chill
I couldn't see love, but I'm sure there is some there
The car I was in was too fast, no more time I could glare
The boy had taken something from them they could never get back
The courage to defy their elders, the both of them lack
Each new day I find a reason to curse what they fucking call "face"
If they'd open their eyes they'd see it's hindering their race
But of course it's never as simple as it looks
I've got no answers, just a pile of books
To see a bright young woman forced to abandon her dreams
I can't feel happy no matter how warm the sun beams
To make it worse she's hiding her sadness when she sees me
For with each careless word I mutter, I remind her what it is to be free
I once asked some questions on which see reflected
And a sudden change in her demeanor I detected
But how quickly her body again betrayed her sorrow
As her thoughts of yesteryear are overwhelmed of that of tomorrow
For most of my life I've gone out of my way to assist
Against harsh realties, I've learnt to persist
But all of those years in self pity and anger I stewed
This one I could have and would have rescued
One Fine Morn’She sat opposed me though I knew not who she was
I played a game to guess her identity just because
Two choices there were to where she might go
From her attire and demeanor I thought I did know
Option two I selected, it seemed the best fit
All the while as I waited the candle was lit
Studying her so, I became quite infatuated
But from what I detected, what I calculated
This crossing of ours was merely by chance
And that never again upon her would I glance
Upon her proud self and her smooth décor
Thank god she was there for this trip’s a bore
Was she aware that I was watching? I think so
The first stop went by I’m glad she didn’t go
This meant I was right with my very first choice
Ten more minutes of her presence I did indeed rejoice
But when the time came she didn’t depart
Hmmm, I’ll figure this out after all I’m quite smart
So while she looked around and let her mind wander
I searched for clues and continued to ponder
Why it’s not possible there’s only one more place
That was the moment the egg hit my face
I couldn’t believe it, I’d been such an arse
This damn fine girl was in my class!
That first look I saw was now plain to see
The moment she sat down she recognized me
I’d ignored her the whole time, just sat there and stared
I could tell from behind the sunglasses at me she glared
I tried to amend it, tried to catch her ear
But with the glasses and music she didn’t hear
So that was the story of how it came to be
That was the moment that defined me
MesmerisedI can see in your eyes you’re a little afraid
You don’t know what I’ll take if I come in to raid
You won’t come closer but for that there’s no blame
But you’re not stepping back all the same
Wanting to turn and run but none the less
Secretly enjoying all of this stress
Your body is rigid and your muscles tense
Unsure of when with these pleasantries I’ll dispense
Standing there you can feel the chill
Anytime now you think I’ll move in for the kill
This uncertainty you feel is taking its toll
When the time comes will you still have control?
I’m a very patient man so I can wait
I can see you’re not going anywhere at any rate
And it’s you not me who’s breaking you down
In your own thoughts you’re beginning to drown
New thoughts and fears into your mind spill
But this lack of control is giving you a thrill
For the time being you still believe
That at any time you can just leave
I commend you for holding on to these lies
For your clearly transfixed by this snake eyes
They look empty but you know there’s something there
You can’t work out what, so you can’t help but stare
Taking a step forward to see if you’ll budge
Too far, too fast and you’ll form a grudge
But as subtle as it was the gap is now smaller
Forever in your memory I’ll appear an inch taller
Altering our position
Shifting your disposition
It’s not quite time for another step up
First I need to give you a little pep up
To encourage you and make you feel safe
So you’re unaware behind you of the presence of the wrath
It will soon grab you and hold you tight
It’s almost over now you’re about to lose this fight
Soon you won’t be able to run
Then I can finally have my fun
Just a minute more to keep you distracted
And finish off this scene I’ve acted
But wait, what’s this? You’re walking away
I guess I’ll have to finish this another day
PerspectiveIt all comes down to attitude
A sense of emotional fortitude
For though at times not all is well
At the end of the day all is swell
When one chooses to focus
Few things are bogus
To look towards the merriment
At that which is almost heaven sent
Seeking out pleasure in each our own way
Not to far from happiness we should stray
Unpleasantness we often face
But look around the world’s a big place
Time is ample when it’s used sagely
If in doubt of this look to the agedly
It’s not that hard to find a reason
To extract some joy from each new season
Fun can be had with many a fellow
And it’s rather easy to just say “hello”
Stop all this jeering
At the stars be a peering
The skies are all clear
So sent out some cheer
And raise a glass
Comment on that ass
Give out a smile
Dance for a while
Shout another ale
Tell a good tale
The world needs not more misery
Working towards improvement busily
But not so much at any rate
That one can’t stop and appreciate
For the conclusion that in the end you’ll arrive
It’s good my friend to be alive
Witchin’I warn them about black magic but still they mess
Perturbed and frustrated by my perceived lack of stress
But they grow more resolved each time they are warned
Every single time it’s another, not I who’s scorned
For reason I’m suspicious of I seem to be immune
Observing their own failures as in anger they consume
Still unrepenting for the havoc they wreak
Again they will dabble until I am weak
Around me it falls as I wade through their wake
Not appreciating what awaits them is a huge mistake
For nothing the darkness sells is ever cheap
So you have sown and so you shall reap
The irony of it all is that I’m already cursed
As the try to override what’s been handed down by the worst
Trapped yet protected by black magic it appears
As has been the way now for so many years
To claim my life is stress free is somewhat audacious
But it seems trying to curse me is rather contagious
Though if tales of history and myths hold to be true
One day, eventually all this will be through
So why should I fight when I know I can’t win?
Eventually time will pass and my life can begin
Okay, so I’m cursed but why mope and pout?
It’s easier to accept it and just ride it out
The short answer is NoWhy do I do it? I don’t know
Though all the alternatives have little to show
Trust that the solution will be presented?
Look at life and what’s represented
There’s little to suggest we’ll do any better
People can’t string a sentence lest produce a letter
True accomplishments require periods of pain
Cheap joy all around it’s hard to refrain
Try to explain yourself to a short attention span
Their just listening for clues to your clan
Waiting impatiently to yell out “me too”
And you wonder why I seem to feel blue
I’m searching for answers and risking the lot
Understanding, resisting and altering the plot
Forced to endure what I’d rather see flushed
Lying through life my spirit is crushed
I’d like to be honest, to reveal all
But I can’t cushion anyone from the fall
That accompanies the realization that renders great doubt
And confuses one as to handle the next bout
It would be nice to know there is someone to trust
And that the desire to share is based on more than lust
Everyone overestimates that they can carry
Just look at the fates of those who choose to marry
Agreeing to all the hardship as such
Only to throw their hands up and say “too much”
If you want to help me you don’t have that choice
Once you accept me you can’t silence my voice
I err on caution and say no on your behalf
Its not enough that you like my laugh
My standards are unusual but still quite high
That’s why I keep smiling as I wave goodbye
I don’t wish to fly solo but I don’t want to kill
If you knew my thoughts you ‘d be left with a chill
Lead poisoned I can feel me feet filling with lead
But that's nothing compared to the weight of my head
It's too hard just to look straight
The earth sucks at me at an incredible rate
All I can do now is try
To remember when I could fly
When I was beyond the reach of all
So different from my current fall
But for the moment I can not rest
Not until this waste I fully digest
It can sometime make me ill
But I can never quite get my fill
I'll suck it all up again and again
Turn away? Me? I’ll never refrain
From others' pain and anguish
If I can do my small part to relinquish
And help those that are struggling with their load
I know the path well, many a time I've walked this road
So my legs are heavy and at times I will pant
But my mind is sharp enough I can always recant
And drop this unnecessary weight I bare
But I won't because in the end I still care
Despite my bitching and my moaning
Despite all of my muscles groaning
In this ocean of chaos I'm just a trickle
But I can still choose how to invest my nickel
Perpetuate something that will have some merit
On my hands I will never sit
Hey I think it's turning, I no longer seem sick
My dread is gone, I’m starting to feel euphoric
Another day passes and I'm still here
An excuse to celebrate, I'm having another beer
Mi casa no es casaThere’s nothing wrong with being ambitious
But to confuse the truth with the fictitious
Can lead one astray
And cause great delay
When objectives are changed
And too many become estranged
A dream let go is a dream realized
Though the outcome is compromised
Nothing ventured is nothing gained
Memories created are forever ingrained
When feet are again returned to ground
Some wholesome truths are found
To loss all battles but survive the war
Is enough to call it all a draw
Playing games on the largest field
Accepting not fate’s already sealed
Throwing in two cents to trace it’s path
Standing back far enough to enjoy a laugh
And not get too attached to a specific outcome
To just appreciate being a variable in the sum
What adds up to our time here on earth?
What died with us and what did we give birth?
Planning for events that we’ll never see
Constantly questioning choosing when to agree
To blindly follow is to forfeit self spirit
But public shaming? Who would incur it?
The masses may be a safe place to hide
But when you still think where will you confide?
What do you do with the answers you seek
Aren’t just unpleasant they horrible reek
Of things that you wished never existed
And continue to do so no matter how much you’ve persisted
Abandoning the course to retreat to a sanctuary
To find someone who thinks complementary
When and if this person can be found
Some to establish some common ground
So that there is something there on which to build
For when we choose to step back onto the field
Another time the rewards we’ll reap
But for now it’s back to sleep
Perpetuated IdiociesWhy must you sit there and wallow?
Perhaps your life truly is hollow
For you seem to just seek out wealth
At the price of happiness and good health
So you despise your current occupation
But you’re too scared to seek out a new vocation
I’ve exercised all my sympathy for you
There isn’t much left that I can do
Except to tell you to just look around
And see if you can pick up on that sound
Why yes somebody is actually enjoying life
But look at their clothes they should be feeling strife
For on their pants are a few specks of dirt
And don’t get me started on the condition of their shirt
By what right you ask should they feel joy?
And look what the son has, you call that a toy?
Unlike your dear self but just like me
They derive happiness from just being free
Spend a few months’ wages decorating your house
Theirs is simple, understated, perhaps even with a mouse
Spend another month or two on clothes, the top of the line
They’re still wearing last years, they’re holding up fine
Head off to the restaurant just to be seen
They’ll settle on somewhere friendly so long as it’s clean
So whilst you look down on them and call them poor
It is you not they who is forever seeking more
It’s not that hard to reach contentment
You can begin by dropping all that resentment
Towards those who have more of what you supposedly seek
Working for them just to be them, your mind is truly weak
That man’s jacket is nice I’ll agree
But a reason to spend that much I can not see
TO show others that he has plenty of money?
If it wasn’t so pathetic I’d say it was funny
I sincerely pity you for you have no mind
You’re merely a limb, there for others to climb
Those that you want to be but can never quite
For one thing I’ve learnt and I know I’m right
Though just like you they’re extremely hollow
You can’t surpass them, you need them to follow
For if you overtake them and become the new bar
How then will you know who you are?
There will be no one to guide you to what to do next
You’ll be left with things you don’t need and feeling perplexed
For all the things you’ve acquired, all that you’ve sought
Not a single one of them was ever your original thought.
Interrupted slumberSo I’m on my way and I don’t know where I’m going
And I’m sure the nerves I have are showing
I hope you’ve had enough time to predict
I hope you’ve had enough time to evict
Truth be told I’ve no idea as to what I’ll do
But I’m sure it’ll work out and I’ll fall into a crew
Hey, I don’t mind stepping up to the plate for a swings
I’ve acquired, stolen and bought traits from the improp kings
Why should I stay here for so much less?
When I can go back to living under enormous stress
Keeping the options open, acting on the fly
So what if I screw it up and somehow die
Whatever you want to call it I can say I did my thing
Regardless of the lack of materials and ‘bling’
Whatever the fuck that is
Probably to do with show biz
But at the end of one evening with the aid of a joint
I figured out my own life as to what was the point
It’s not exactly going to be easy
And on the odd occasional I’ll fake being sleazy
To leave some confused
And others amused
Whilst the ripples of my actions take their toll
And derail a few people from becoming a doll
Or a tool for that matter for the other gender
By playing the right role a change I will render
Perhaps it will be temporary, though ideally permanent
Freeing them from existing controls sinister plans I’ll circumvent
The best part of it, albeit sometimes frustrating
For all of these subtle changes I’m negating
Is that the effects are subconscious no credit I receive
And that’s the only way it will work, I honestly believe
I’m not going to shout at everyone and tell them it’s all wrong
No need to break someone and tell them how to belong
Just plant the seed to help them find true self awareness
As to what they do themselves after that, I couldn’t care less
Uberbrat Back to the start now but it's not the same
So much is now known and it's a different game
What was thought of as rules were just a guide
This walk I now take, I've seen from every side
All said and done the scene is unchanged
Just the names to the players have been exchanged
To create an illusion and hide what is real
But I have the cards now; it's my turn to deal
The table is my, I set the stakes
I've set it up this way make no mistakes
I followed the envelope all the way to the throne
Worked out exactly who's been setting this tone
At this point it interferes not with my agenda
If they pursue me not an inch I'll surrender
Coating my displeasure with a thick layer of insincerity
With myself as my own currency, my key to prosperity
Charge one individual an exuberant fee
For another group Ill give it away for free
Or so it might appear
If the truth were so clear
No need to plan when you can improvise
No need for masks when you are your own disguise
An empty pocket has nothing to steal
A self righteous mind has no room to fill
With new concepts or awareness of the changed surrounds
Falling behind as their problem compounds
I can be altruistic and I can be cruel
But rest assured I'm nobody's fool
Little by little revealing what's behind these eyes
For the time being I'll work with their lies
Unlike themselves I have time on my hands
Discretely conducting all of my plans
Stand beside them with nothing to fear
When the moment is right I know how to disappear
Leave them standing alone with the smoking gun
I've walked way now they're on the run
Find some fresh soil and pitch up my tent
Recreate the illusion that I'm benevolent
So what if I've burnt another bridge
I'm standing on the right side of this ridge
I spent so much time up here on the highland
As people seek to trap me on an island
If this were to happen I'd simply decry
"The jokes on you, I know how to fly"
R’n’ArghStaring out over the walls there's nothing but hills
Inside these gates are buffoons and cheap thrills
Could a disruption to this be so devastating?
The thought of its demise leaves me salivating
If someone only had the interest to seek
They'd find the defenses here miserably weak
Mind you I won't be the one to open the gate
Of those who have I know of their fate
But where I live I pay a gargantuan rent
I'd be glad to assist who'd ever topple that tyrant
I know another would soon rise to replace
It is after all the nature of our race
But when the feet of those above are shaken
The minds of those below begin to awaken
Slowly but surely they start to anticipate
Just what could be when the power will dissipate
Triggering a renaissance of thought
That all along is what I have sort
Perhaps I should turn to within these walls
Maybe the answer can be found among these halls
Talking to those who support each guild
On there discontent I could build
This notion has but one drawback
Morals and altruism regularly lack
They too are motivated by greed
A revolution by there hands, no one is freed
The masses outside have the least to lose
But quality wine or life, few would choose booze
So everything's is all in check
Yet from where I stand it appears a wreck
With luck in a cage remains the white dove
I'm convinced now it's owned by those above
Sitting up there on the higher branches
Fortified in their enormous ranches
I've undertaken too much strive
To be convinced it will occur in my life
Ah look over there at that young maid
Damn my disenchantment I want to get laid
Forget those around me and all of their pettiness
Take my self away from all of this emptiness
No matter what I do this is how it stands
So I might as well concede to my glands
Surrealist RequiemEverything is so damn dark
And my assumptions way of mark
Where do I go to get some peace?
Where all of these noises finely cease
Instead I hear my mind go tick tick tick
For someone whose smart I’m so bloody thick
Make it stop please, oh make it stop
Before I snap or blow my top
Hiding in a refuge befitting an outcast
How much longer can my madness last?
I’ve tried so bloody hard to deny deny deny
But the truth in my heart knows it’s a lie
I don’t know the answers of the puzzle I’m involved
Just a bunch of random clues for how it could be solved
So much has happened but so little concrete
When I mention anything I’m labeled conceit
Well that’s if I’m lucky, more find me mad
And in a way, of that I’m glad
For if I had to summise, if I had to confess
It’s an awful lot of information to process
As I describe all the pieces and how they all fit
For the moment I’d prefer on my hands to sit
A time will come again when I pick up the slack
But at the moment the energy I lack
Slowly but surely I’ll get back on my feet
Then head on with my fate I will meet
Always Worth ItSo once again I’m the butt of a joke
Great one mate what a master stroke
Betrayed again by my own good temper
My night’s enjoyment it would hamper
Farther away stands a person, in the light obscured
Though on her face I can see the smile I’ve procured
Slightly suppressed from a feeling of guilt
But she could not hold it as the amusement built
From this embarrassment I’d soon recover
But this persons name I must discover
One thing before I uncover her identity
I must regain some of my dignity
TO find the abuser and quickly retort
Would not recreate the vision I sought
Revenge would suggest resentment and spite
As a reflection of me this is far from right
In the minds of all here is the memory of my abuse
Somehow, some way I can but this to good use
If I want to find a way to reproduce that grin
I’ll have to show all I can take it on the chin
So to speak on my hands I will sit
Until a door opens for a moment of wit
Casual now but still quite aware
AS time passes less people continue to stare
Now it’s nearing the end of the night
The windows closing, no time had been right
Throughout the night my curiosity had grown
Forever to me her name would be unknown
Suddenly there was silence and at the centre of attention
Stood the very same girl above I did mention
With the right words I throw egg on my own face
The diversion was effective, she’d avoided disgrace
My patience was worth it, the idea did in fact work
For once last time I got to see that cute smirk
Too many lefts not enough rightsI took a walk and turned left instead of right
No real reason except to see a different sight
For my usual path I know too well
All of the houses and who in each dwell
So down I ventured into a brand knew street
Not quite sure of what I would meet
And though this exercise could be fruitless
I was determined to carry it out nonetheless
For the most part it was pretty much the same
This waste of time I had but myself to blame
Granted one or two sights were not as expected
And I desired to understand the origin the more I reflected
Soon enough by curiosity my mind was consumed
And at the very next chance the adventure I resumed
But in going back a new problem was encountered
I couldn’t seem to find some of the streets I’d entered
Was it a left, right, right, right left?
Or a left, right, left left right?
Over the pursuing weeks I came to find
I'd walk a new route every time
That sight of which had caused my return
I could not find, I would never learn
Just what it was I had attempted to seek
And my hope was fading with every week
The more I would search, the more I’d investigate
I’d encounter more people and what to know their fate
Many of them from my mind I can't release
I know I should give up, this adventure should cease
So I called it quits, gave it the boot
And went back to my normal route
But now down on the streets I know what lurks
Hell I understand how this whole town works
I never saw what started my discomfort
But I’ve enough pieces for the answer I sought
So many things have become so consistent
To the notion of searching again I’ve become resistant
Though through all of my efforts, all of my strife
I have a much better understanding of my own life
Filters You see me here and the beer I guzzle
But you know nothing about the puzzle
So I’m allusive and deterrent
Letting people know me I prevent
You keep asking, asking me why
Why I’m so cold and my answers dry
But its you not me you’re trying to understand
How I can be apathetic and call you bland
It’s not so wrong to wish for more
To just stand up and walk out that door
Seeking something or avoiding pain
Trying to cope under all this strain
You can’t see it if you don’t look
Believing that I’m hiding inside a book
But I need it as a sense of relief
For you have no idea of all my grief
When I can afford to I seek refuge
For this weight I carry is very huge
Perhaps its true that my goals are too grand
But walk with me a while and you’ll understand
Patience is required for it’s fruition
And I can’t teach someone their own intuition
As life moves forth in ebbs and flow
Only through time can one ccan ome to know
I don’t believe that I’m the key
But I can do something to answer the plea
Of millions crying as they struggle to cope
To do something, anything to instill and maintain hope
But it’s hard and I can’t articulate
What I mean by this worlds fate
My own efforts I somehow defuse
AS all I seem to do is confuse
Summing up this world is that I experience
Still comes across as a form of deleirience
It came out earlier when it was unrefined
And for my views I was confined
So much that happens conflicts with my view
But I can’t change it, there’s nothing I can do
Why I’m frustrated, what I can’t condone
Is the revelation that in this world I’m completely alone
Ease up dudeCalm down man, and please tuck your shirt in
You're a little off centre, I’m not flirting
So just relax a moment, disengage from this strife
I’m more than aware that this woman’s your wife
But I’m sharper than I look and I just detected
As you indulge in your gloating she’s feeling neglected
It’s obvious man, quite plan to see
She knows she’s just here as your trophy
And the one thing I share with the woman you adore
We both find this outing a frightful bore
Suits and aspirants exchanging their stories
Of acquisitions, mergers and old war glories
All these petty fools trying to stake a claim
As to why they deserve adulation and fame
So as both of us were wondering just what we’re doing here
I’d thought I’d engage in conversation and instill a little cheer
Distract here from all this and her current blues
And acquire some knowledge as to her views
I have no interest in her assets or for that matter yours
Attending these functions is just one of life’s chores
So step back again and contain your rage
And just for a moment try and act your age
I know you’re concerned that you’re long in the tooth
And you see me here, with exuberate youth
I know you’ve asked around for the information you’ve required
And found out from many that I’m highly desired
What you think you’re seeing is me moving in on your territory
Well my dear friend I’ll state for all here that that’s a negatory
I’m not here now because I want to mix with this crowd
For you’re all extremely petty, obnoxious and rather loud
I despise the self righteous and the overtly corrupt
I’m here to being annoying and interrupt
Moving about and playing the sleuth
I’m oh so close now to the truth
But this gigs nearly over, it’s getting quite late
So let me for the last time take a minute to reiterate
The conclusion I’ve reached from my observing
Of this fine woman you’re clearly undeserving
But unfortunately my dear I must confess
I’ve no intention of dragging you away from this mess
For in the end as the day will soon close
It was your choice, this life you chose
This is the truth, though you may jeer it
You can’t be like me, a completely free spirit
Now enough ideas from this scene here I’ve obtained
But thanks all the same from what you’ve refrained
So forget about me and go now back to your scotches
For in my book you’ve both dropped a few notches
Nothing more here I need to endure
So I guess now I’ll bid you adure
Dancing along the lineIn this here current day and age
What does one need to become a sage?
I somehow doubt the path is habitual
Or that admittance requires some kind of ritual
And by the way, before you ask
Yes becoming one is my current task
I here you laugh, I hear you ridicule
For you say that requires that I return to school
But is that really where all the answers lie
Hell I’ve been thrice, I gave that a try
Something’s you can learn from the academy
But do they teach you how to handle polygamy?
They’ll says it’s wrong and list the reasons
But you don’t need a rain coat for all the seasons
Now I digress, I’ve strayed of course
And for the record the above I don’t endorse
Though neither would I say that I condemn it
I would have to abstain in the vote in the senate
What’s that you say I always abstain?
That’s not truly accurate, I just refrain
For I think as one searches the first insight
Is that so very little is just black and white
A stone tablet to dictate the whole human race?
I think everything warrants being judge case by case
And no one has the right to rest on their laurels
When they believe, understand and abide to all morals
The lines in the sand are moved by the wind
Only with time and hindsight can we say who sinned
It helps to have some solid ground, to work with some basics
You’ll need them more then ever when you reach step six
Knowledge can be hidden, deep down and sealed
By wisdom lies everywhere, waiting to be revealed
So when you see me scurrying about like a lizard
It’s because I’m on the path of becoming a wizard
Lost MorningOkay I’ll admit it I’m a little off centre
And from time to time into madness I’ll enter
But my motives are never really all that suss
So why the need for all of this fuss?
So I dabble here and there crossing the line of sanity
But it’s not as if I’m some kind of threat to humanity
I’ve got my excuse I can’t pick up on a single scent
Differing from the rest in thoughts and actions, I won’t repent
Sometimes it takes an outsider to highlight the defect
And who among you is taking the time to inspect?
I’m mean come on, look at it all, it’s a little absurd
And I’m not the only one here, on that take my word
We go through the motions for it’s what’s best we know
Until some of us can take it no more and eventually blow
They say these days depressions an epidemic
To understand this one needs not be an academic
Harder we work and so little to show
But who stops to say: “Why is it so?”
So I’ve broken some laws and stepped on some feet
And I carry on despite the resistance I meet
Remember the time we cared about the stranger?
Now anyone different supposedly puts us in danger
Taught how to fear, taught how to quiver
Into some hands our freedom we deliver
Who can you trust when you’re made to doubt your own soul?
Why our benevolent leaders know how to take control
Teach us how to think so that we’re all safe and passive
Tow their line diligently if you want to live
As time passes forth the wealth gap continually divides
The promotion of this is were the real motive resides
Yeah okay, so I’m bitching about equality
But can’t you see this as the truth of our reality?
History tells us this will lead to a revolution
But we know enough as to the path of our evolution
For all of my ranting, for all I’ve confessed
The world each day is becoming far more oppressed
Celebredom is the new opium of the masses
To grab just a pieces we’ll all become asses
The every decreasing chance of crossing the tier line
As we continue to dismiss the notion of the divine
Chaos and pointlessness makes us not a race
A unique alien hides behind every single face
In separate realities we believe what we choose
To ensure in our private ambitions we do not lose
So fuck all the others, leave all in your wake
And scurry about and horde whatever you can take
Destination unattainedI don’t know what else there is for me to say
But I’ve exhausted every possible reason to stay
Though I must put one matter to rest
This place I most certainly do not detest
From residing below, amongst and above
Amidst this place I see great love
Granted there are things that frustrate
For one my inability to integrate
My place it seems is on the outside
And it seems that’s where I’ll always reside
No matter where I go, how far I roam
I’ll destine to feel without a home
This may be the case now but not forever
Through all of life’s trials one must endeavour
To grow, create and instill fresh hope
In those struggling in there days to cope
Here I’ve seen much to be inspired
But I’ve pushed myself to far to be rendered tired
For all the mocking and the jeers and me hurled
They don’t seem to appreciate I’m part of the greater world
Too many are involved in little outside the county
That’s why they have such a small share of the nation’s bounty
Each time I see someone from a different village
They look upon me like I’m here to pillage
But looking to the truth I know what I’ll find
A single woman here has consumed my mind
I can’t blame anyone, it all comes down to me
A slave to something unknown I’ll never be free
In this situation before I’ve been engaged
At my own patheticness I become enraged
Being involved in something with I’ve no control
Fighting it this long has taken its toll
For another empty bucket is drawn from the well
I have to find yet another new place to dwell
I know that I should face up to this pain
But already in my live is enormous strain
No longer those involved can I appease
I need to be where my mind’s at ease
In every chasm I seem to find the rift
So perhaps I may forever drift
But if something or somewhere is making me ill
It’s foolish and useless to just sit still
Again with the ancients as my guides
I’ll go and find where my spirit hides
Beer TabWas that, was that another bear trap?
I think, I think I heard something snap
Huh, it was, how about that
And I just put down my hat
When these sorts of things first happened I thought it was luck
But now it seems I intuitively know when to duck
I mean how many times before it’s not a coincidence?
Before one stops and just looks at the evidence
Perhaps I should be disturbed by so many near misses
But why fear the snake just because it hisses
My own path I should change?
When I know the extent of its range?
Why subject myself to an unnecessary fright
When I know I’m too far for it to bite?
All it’s doing is revealing its position
Giving me my time to make a decision
If I cross the invisible line it’ll strike
But I’ve been on more than just one hike
I’ve heard more then that simplistic sound
And exactly what to look at on the ground
It is after all a repetition of a different scene
Of another place and time where I’ve been
But yeah I still need to work hard
And be wary not to get caught off guard
For these woods here carry many a threat
And I’ve accumulated a hefty debt
Of karma, good will and so on
But I’ll pay it back before I’m gone
Where and when I’ve yet to conceive
But I’ll live long enough, or so I believe
This comparison may be a little drab
But they won’t let you leave a bar until you’ve settled your tab
Sanamie?Now why exactly did she do that?
Perhaps she wears more than one hat
There's something there behind those eyes
Something I don't quite recognize
But I'm fascinated none the less
I can't seem to put my mind to rest
But it will change if I interfere
So far now I'll just sit at the rear
If she sees me watching she just may change
Then I'll never gage the extent of her range
I've seen a lot so I seldom feel surprise
So what's happening here I want to realize
Perhaps this is the one for which I yearn
At the very least I have something to learn
Sitting here I'm just feeding my curiosity
This is causing a build up of animosity
For I'm getting further not closer to the truth
And I'm about to go through the roof
There's something in her step that I just can't place
Whatever the game is she's winning the race
She seems to understand just what is required
Now it's killing me not knowing what she's acquired
If I just sit here my minds going to blow
Something, anything about her I need to know!!
AssertionSow the seeds of discontent
Be a threat to the establishment
But why?
Is it not good to you?
You can after all do what you want to do
So why at others are you always staring?
How are you benefiting from all of your caring?
Would they do the same for you?
When it’s all restructured and the changes are through?
You’ve got a large piece of the pie
So why aren’t you looking at the sky
For all of you’re looking at the ground
What exactly have you found?
An answer to this riddle?
The musician playing the fiddle?
Why are you still eating that pathetic swill?
You’ve found the damn pool take your fucking fill
So many would kill to be where you are
Stop your moping and pick your freaking star
So many of them up there awaiting your choice
Hurry the fuck up so we can all rejoice
It’s not exactly all that bloody hard
You don’t need to wait for another card
In front of you lies a great hand
So take your fucking head out of the sand
And start playing this bloody game
Fuck your altruism and a thirst for fame
Take it, take it just fucking take it
Break it fake it just fucking make it
Because no one’s going to hand it to you on a plate
No one's intervening you’re controlling your own fate
So please stop all of this useless waiting
Do what everyone has been anticipating
Rise to where they think you belong
Make a fucking noise and sing your own song
So what if you might get it wrong
Just do what you should have all along
Take it, take it just fucking take it
Break it fake it just fucking make it
You gave them all their fucking chance
Put away the olive branch and grab your lance
So the hooves may break a few bones
For once it won’t be your bloody groans
As always in time those bones will heal
But you should feel how you want to feel
No more watching from the stands
Its time to step in and get some dirt on those hands
If need be some blood will be shed
Better that then continually seeing red
Understand that you’re by no means evil
And stop pretending your too fucking ill
Take it, take it just fucking take it
Break it fake it just fucking make it
The world will still be the same tomorrow
Regardless of your sympathy and sorrow
Find your bloody niche
So you can sit back on the beach
Just come out onto the field
Claim your share of the yield
Force the others to evolve
Give them your problems to solve
So someone will end up relegated
To you that should be delegated?
Fuck no! Are you that weak?
Stand up and be prepared to speak
It’s all there right in front of you for you to choice
To play with the world and not worry who’ll lose
Take it, take it just fucking take it
Break it fake it just fucking make it
Take it, take it just fucking take it
Oui It's not that I'm following the fiddle
I'm always drawn to a good riddle
And the riddler who holds the clues
So I can enter a world where I have nothing to lose
Or everything to lose, I don't care
I'll follow that rabbit deep into it's lair
Each clue taking me nearer or further away
Just enough each time so my interest doesn't stray
I'll come back with the wrong answer again and again
But it doesn't really matter that much my friend
I'm thinking, I'm conceiving, I've got something to ponder
I've got a reason to stay somewhere, to no longer wander
Both she and I know I'll eventually figure it out
I'll stand on a perch and the answer I'll shout
For we both know she has more up her sleeve
That's the reason I could never leave
For my dreams, the sum of all my hope
Is that I'll find someone who's truly an asymptote
No matter how well thought through my verdict
There'll still be something I can not predict
So again and again I'll knock on that door
Forever to her I'll come back for more
It's not so much that I'm addicted to pain
I'm more worried ending up somewhere, whereas I have nothing to gain
I'll admit it's not the first time I've reached this point
I've stumbled about, been one to disappoint
But if again I'm knocked flat on my back
That once again the attributes required I lack
I can at least appreciate I've acquired some knowledge
So the next time it won't hurt as much when I'm hit by that sledge
Everything tastes bitterI acquired a new pair of eyes today
I seemed to lost some of my urge to play
Walking around through my old playgrounds
Laughter and joy being drowned out by other sounds
I’d always heard them but never this loud
I’m a little more edgy now walking amongst a crowd
I’m not sure how exactly it came to be
But I guess I saw something I wasn’t supposed to see
And through all of this, what makes matters worse
I don’t know what it was that’s since brought on the curse
Is it safe to delve back and explore my own memory?
If I discover its source will I forever be sorry?
To be honest I know I should, for I have little choice
Subversive manipulation is creeping into my own voice
It’s amazing to comprehend to what ends some will stoop
It really doesn’t pay to stay out of the loop
But from what my life has shown
I can stand and hold my own
I’m not the least bit afraid to bleed
To get an inch or two closer to what I need
What keeps me apart from what I’ve been seeing?
Is that I won’t extract blood from another being
Besides the times are a different it’s the digital age
Gone is the brute warrior, replaced with the sage
A role I’m more then willing to uphold
As the dark undercurrents remain untold
From stories of puppies, politicians and mines
I’ve matured enough to read between the lines
Muscles, brains, cunts, all are for hire
If you’ve the money you can fulfill your desire
So wake up or sleep, do whatever you will
But watching from the sidelines I’ve had my fill
General EyesHow best to surmise
When words always compromise
Every message contains a cost
As in its conveyance something is lost
Were you there did you see it unfold?
If the answer is no the true story’s untold
I was there, I saw it take place
But did I correctly perceive the expression on the face?
Perhaps the answers are a little hard to grasp
When the best tool we possess is still a rasp
The finer points that continue to be unseen
Accepting a rough copy should be obscene
But what choice do we have with limited knowledge
Using a finite capacity our bets do we hedge
Generalising fails in the end every time
But it’s a survival tactic not a bigoted crime
Assessing each new person on a completely clean slate
May decrease the number of people you berate
But in a two minute encounter few things are exchanged
The most helpful person could be deranged
Or by starting off on the wrong conversation
You may perceive daft what may deserve adulation
Respect by association or fear from repute
It’s something will all do, there’s no refute
It’s the subtle signs that give more away
And learning to read it is a game one can play
But test well, before you cast it in stone
And be alert not to stray into a zone
Where you believe you can read all like a book
From nothing more then a 2 second look
Granted lots can be learnt from this quick glance
But until it’s perfected, it’ just a game of chance
With what we have today we could learn to be precise
But knowing someone inside out is not always nice
Leaving in each person a little mystique
Allows us all to stay unique
Empty stomach, bloated mind
My head's a little off right now
I think it might be lack of food
It's not about cooking, I know how
For the most part I'm just not in the mood
I can see myself getting thinner and thinner
But am restrained by apathy
I'm more a saint then I am a sinner
I have an ample supply of sympathy
But when it comes to myself it's not the same
This flesh is more a cage than a vessel
And as for life, I'm tired of the game
With so many ideas I have to wrestle
Putting no effort into staying afloat
I think I've had enough of my turn
I'm almost ready to jump boat
For my 24 years there's nothing I yearn
But for some unbeknown reason I still plod along
Wondering when and where I finally break
Taking refuse in the words of another song
Just how much of this emptiness can I take?
I've taking a sip or two from life's cup
The first sickly sweet the second bitter
Was I unaware that my time was already up?
Should I have been smarter, wiser or fitter?
At the end of the day I don't even care
I've think I've seen just about all of life's offers
I don't really think I want to acquire my share
I've see inside the chest, look over the coffers
I guess I wanted something that never existed
Chasing a dream out of a fear I might wake
Modern reality and its foibles I've resisted
Did the right thing but for nobodies sake
But too much I've my time I feel tired
The voices of others has turned into a constant drone
I'm passively looking forward to when I've expired
When will the world just leave me alone?
The farmerOf the setbacks to his plans he was continually warned
When he chose to go ahead he was universally scorned
Never before had the feat been accomplished
To his upcoming failure they openly wished
Great labour and time was what was required
With no guarantee to the outcome desired
Toiling the land with endless determination
Motivated by the thought of the first germination
Watched from the sidelines by conspiring neighbours
Jibing at him for all of his labours
When the last seed was planted he had to just wait
It was up to nature now to take care of fate
But it remained barren, there was nothing to see
As others looked on with great glee
Nothing to show for all the time wasted
Nothing to hold, nothing to be tasted
Staring across thoughtfully, scratching his head
Muttering a “hmmm” before retiring to bed
The laughing stock of every last guild
But the very next day he was back in the field
All over again back to his toil
Returning each day covered in soil
Blood, sweat and blisters revealed his hard grit
Transforming the land slowly bit by bit
Others stood by and he was continually mocked
But when the first seed sprouted they were all shocked
Saying nothing, looking over the land with a slight grin
Relieved that what he was seeking would now begin
To his critics he now had something to show
As he sat back to relax and watch it all grow
Why the hell not? Well I'll be damned I'm still alive
From that crazy stunt I didn't think I'd survive
Either way it would have been worthwhile
Worked my way through another trial
Sometimes the stakes are low sometimes high
But only at the end the truth does lie
Regardless of the actual outcome
To my curiosity I'll always circum
For what is life without the element of risk
Even if it's duration is somewhat brisk
Sometimes elated sometimes overwhelmed with sorrow
To say that I never endeavored
Even looking to when I was overawed
Having lay down once upon my bed
Fully expecting to wake up dead
Each new day now seems a gift
Remembering that my spirits lift
For all that I've done and all that I gave
Knowing that I created my very own wave
My actions making me truly unique
In my environment I'm always oblique
But not so much that others are blinded
Of something different, other possibilities they're reminded
Even if for the moment they get to glance
To see just what might be if you take a chance
Maybe one day I'll take a fall
Maybe one day I'll hit a brick wall
But I always seem to bounce
Courage and luck weighed by ton not ounce
As long as I leave this world a better place
Do my small part for the human race
Then everything will be for the best
I can let my mind take rest
AddictI'm not sure if it's a blessing or curse
But I've found myself speaking in verse
My thoughts now, almost all the time
Take shape in the form of rhyme
I can't seem to satisfy this insatiable need
And they're coming to me at an incredible speed
Why I don't know and further more
I'm wondering if I'm becoming a troubadour
Or minnesinger if you are German
Or just think the French are vermin
But it seems that I just can not stop
With each new one I'm trying to top
And make them more elaborate and insightful
But in reality it's because it's just delightful
To step back in time throughout the ages
Be the nomads, soldiers and the sages
For we all crawled from the same patch of mud
And when our times up we fall with a thud
Why be just one when you can be many?
Why settle for one when you can take any?
But again I've said more than I ought
So I'll stop here, cutting this short
Alfalfa I don’t know why but something’s are never right
And I’ve been scratching my head but try as I might
The answers always just of a reach
As they taunt me and pull on the leach
It’s going to take some time and across a few oceans
But it’s all about laying down the perfect foundations
For what exactly I’ve never been sure
Standing forever with one foot out the door
I would like to find a place to call home
But until then I just roam
I don’t like the way it looks
And I know the order of the books
So outside of it I’ll patiently wait
Until someone joins me beyond the gate
Shut the fuck upFuck me? Fuck you!
What’d I do?
Walk a different way?
Have a better game to play?
Worked out what life’s about?
Whilst you sit and pout
Damn you and your kind
Are you all fucking blind?
What you call tradition
I call division
What I call unique
You call oblique
Instead of wishing that I was gone or dead
Why not for a moment step outside your head
You curse your parents, but you’re all so mild
And then you enforce the same onto your child
I’ve taken in more then just an eyeful
And pretty much understand this cycle
But this is all you’ve every known
For it’s all you’ve every been shown
Until me
The free
The fears of others just bounce of my chest
That’s what separates me from the rest
And I’m not swallowing another shitty lie
Even if it means severing another tie
I’ve sought out death, stared it in the face
It just spat at me and called me a disgrace
Told me I was making his job too hard
Begged me to give up my facade
For he and anyone how chooses to seek
Knows that I’m actually incredibly weak
Though I may have a deadly stare
At the end of the day I’m full of hot air
So forgive me if I care not for how you feel
But you’re too self involved to see what is real
I never eat breakfast and rarely lunch
Any fool could take me with a single punch
But with just a glare
No one will dare
I’ve seen the worst as to what is out there
All of the pain and anger is fixed into my stare
Swallow (African or European?)My current problem just where to begin
I seemed to have spread myself so very thin
Truth be told I’m sure I know why
At helping the world too hard I try
By others problems I don’t want to be unmoved
As sometimes with just a few words they can be soothed
But others may require more thought and attention
In carrying the pain of others I’ve incredible retention
I wish I could say I’ve helped everyone I’ve met
But that’s most definitely not the case I bet
And this is where I feel the most pain
Helping them understand takes time to explain
So with my limited time who do I choose?
And why does anyone deserve to lose?
A chance to speak freely to an understanding ear
To get something of there chest with no sense of fear
For we all have secrets that we wish to share
Carrying it alone is to hard to bare
They don’t want me for the problem to solve
Just making the thought of isolation dissolve
So I take it all in to digest
Leave their mind at rest
Sometimes with a scream, sometimes with a sound
I bide my time until I can release into the ground
When I’ve understood its come to perpetuate
As my own happiness will eventuate
When timeless mistakes finally cease
I’ll experience some sense of peace
I pity the man who relies on fortune
I really wish I could cut you some slack
But once again you’ve gone behind my back
The truth is twisted by your ignorant perception
And now everywhere I go a receive a bad reception
You say that you’re sorry, that you apologise
But what are you doing to undo all the lies?
For your own satisfaction in my life you choose to dabble
Turning good people into nothing more than an angry rabble
But a triangular shape won’t fit into a circle’s grove
Your own life and ambitions you can not alleviate
So you sabotage mine and cause me to deviate
And cautiously step through this wreck you’ve created
You say sorry now and expect me to feel elated
Even as we speak you’re not listening to what I say
Sorry means nothing if you won’t change your way
The contrast between your words and actions is quite stark
Yet you still wonder why I chose to leave you in the dark
My patience and tolerance have been firmly tested
So I’m not giving you that information you’ve requested
For its quite dangerous if your intentions are cruel
Tenfold if it lands in the hands of a fool
Now I have no idea what the people around me believe
So why should I tell you what I hold up my sleeve?
About my perceived good fortune you bitch and moan
Whilst doing nothing at all to create your own
You’ve a job, a home and plenty to eat
Can you say like me that you’ve lived on the street?
Working for the moment until you becomes someone’s wife
Can you say like me that you’ve tried to take your own life?
The money for your education wasn’t scrimped, wasn’t scraped
Can you say like me that you’ve once been raped?
The righteousness of your own ways you’ve always believed
That you can complain about anyone who has every achieved
We’re all snake foodTime produces encounters and seeds are sown
Determining what we do when left alone
From an early age ideas are implanted
Dispositions arise from the rewards granted
More often then not the reward is negative
Learning from what is taken, not what others give
As lessons accumulate behaviour patterns materialise
Uncertain at times just where the individual lies
From conventions we learn how we should access
It’s already occurred so no need to guess
Slowly the self suffers and is left in the dark
No longer revered for its creative spark
Too many have found comfort to alter life’s course
Deaf they’ve become to the cries of remorse
The struggles and conflicts exists out of sight
Inside of their bubble they know what is right
They paid what was asked for the food on there table
As to it’s origins they don’t care for the fable
Of the lands it crossed to sit before there eyes
Or the blood and sweat that allowed it to realise
What matters to them is that they want to eat
So there’s little point moving to the story of their seat
A tiny label of a place on a map
Tell how it traverses and enormous gap
Comparative or absolute an advantage rings
But the pendulum of economics continually swings
So much shouting in praise but the prophet relucts
To mention the extremes of the cycles flux
So it sails along with the occasional bump?
Perhaps you good fortune has made you lump
You say you’re weeding out things that are done sloppily
But are setting things up for yet another monopoly
From endorsing you rules of management I’ve always refrained
For by its own nature it can’t be maintained
Like the starving snake that eats its own tail
Your pursuits in the end will fail.
Good Idea, Bad Idea or Merely Just an Idea?Here’s a strange concept for one to adhere
Each one of us is merely an idea
But from what and when was this idea born?
Is conception the beginning? It’s dawn?
AS for death we’ll get to that soon
But for now let’s start with the origin of the boon
If events are all random and nothing is linked
And we are not just slaves to our own instinct
Our starting point could be when an old man died
Or a parent at school, about some homework they lied
For in all of these instances an option is selected
Some possibilities lost forever, others resurrected
With history now behind us, events set in stone
Was there a decisive moment from which we have thus grown?
Someone never existed as the potential father was covered in grime
But we are here now flowing back to the beginning of time
And forever on its axis the earth continues to roll
If we’re here at the present then we’re in control
To look to the future and ponder the mystery
What will be said when now becomes history
Everyone of us shaping it each new day
Will we make it better or will we all stray
For with youth comes great hope and false intelligence
But the time it reaches age it knows truth and self indulgence
These ideas are more or less general and may not describe you
But would you really care if some of these words do?
The past is what got us here
You can be grateful or jeer
But how useful is your perspective
If you’re forever retrospective
I know to some it may sound a little awkward
But its time to move on, time to look forward
Each new moment now we define what will lie ahead
And we may still carry on long after we’re dead
Not true!! I hear some of you begin to cuss
But our idea is continued in the people who knew us
What we know as our bodies may have returned to the cycle
But to think that it’s our whole existence is somewhat trifle
Though we may use it to carry out our own plans
We’re a hell of a lot more than just a pair of hands
An animated object used to carry out our fate
For ourselves and others as we try to anticipate
How to move and swim amongst all of these waves
Some ideas free us whilst others enslaves
To our own idea what truths can be tied?
Are most positive or have you forever lied?
What makes us unique our very own niche?
Dates as far back to when we were nursed at the crèche
And to know our own selves there’s plenty of evidence
Looking back over our order of life events
The times of great joy to when we’re quite sick
All of these things create our own inner logic
But of all of these things I’m not really sure
I hope I don’t come across as too much of a bore
Perhaps away from these thoughts you may sheer
But I’m curious to know, what’s your idea?
Fish baitWhat do you know about what I believe?
You’re only picking up what I choose to leave
Did you stop for a minute, had the thought occurred?
That just for the hell of it I’m being absurd
But seriously now and this is on the level
I’m actually the reincarnation of the devil
So attack me with all your malice and burn me with fire
For I actually feed and grow with your hateful desire
Everything’s working in order, all as planned
You’ve eating everything straight out of my hand
Some of you raged and some of you sooked
But at discovering my intentions your all now hooked
It might be true or just another fabrication?
Can you afford to wait in anticipation?
Or would it be better to prepare for the worst
For you don’t wish to get caught in my next outburst
I’m in no hurry here, my time I will bide
As sooner or later you’ll all come onside?
For I know exactly what you all think you need
I’ve discovered the source that’s feeding your greed
Soon enough now the source will be mine
Then you’ll have no choice but to tow my line
Filling your little heads with petty woes
Keeping all the lazy on their toes
Make you shed some weight
As I play with your fate
I will call it off one day just because I can
And the fact that I have a short attention span
I care not to see it out and watch the results
I’d rather move on and dish out some new insults
I’m playing the shark in this little fish tank
For that eventually me you will thank
But here and now in this setting
You too busy swimming, too busy fretting
With all of your ways and your old style of thinking
You haven’t noticed that you’re all sinking
But as a feed you another lie
A little hard you’ll now try
To move a little quicker
Instead of just slowly getting sicker
So I don’t have a lover
I’ll leave and elsewhere recover
I know what for me is right
As I head to where the fish actually bite
But it’s because I’ve gone out on a whim
That you’re finally learning how to swim
So feed off my scraps
And try not to lapse
Back into your idle, self defeating ways########
When one day I just disappear
And your’re left with nothing to fear
Jihad Nuclear GreenpeaceWho be taking down notes
As I conjure up new quotes?
The faces will remain forever unseen
But with a damn good idea as to where I’ve been
One can do ones best to create distance from the past
Always hiding in the shadows I caste
Using the mediums available to send me a clue
Wondering just what it is next I might do
It's all rather simple when you look at it my chap
Just ask the fine fellows contracted out at Pine Gap
Fathoming the system and all of its absurds
If I wish to reach you I’ll just through in a few keywords
Like it or not I’m definitely here to stay
And it’s my game not yours that I choose to play
Appreciate the irony as you burn your resources
And unwittingly reveal all of your sources
I’m not on a witch hunt, not looking to blame
For me it’s a puzzle, an intriguing game
Okay I’ll acknowledge that the stakes might be high
But I’ll happy to pursue it until it’s my turn to die
As far as I’m concerned I’m already on borrowed time
Failing to intervene it seems, was the root of my crime
Crawling out of the darkness carrying forth a powerful boon
I’ll be in London shortly so I’ll see you all soon
Mesmorised IIWell now look at this you’re back
Intelligence I guess you clearly lack
But full points to you for being brave
Even though it could lead you to your grave
Give me a minute to look back and think
Ah yes, you were right on the brink
But for me I’m afraid it’s just no fun
Unless I take this back to square one
You left me a little unsure and curious
Not knowing what could’ve happened made you furious
But alas, for me to please
For the first part I’ll just tease
It’s changed now that you’ve come back for more
You opened it not me and you walked through that door
Compared to the last time my step forth has now doubled
And just as expected you’re not the least bit troubled
Though more than before your feeling unnerved
Soon enough you’ll get what you’ve deserved
But now that I know that it’s a guarantee
I’m in no hurry to let the demons free
For the longer I hold them they build up their rage
The more raveness they’ll be when it’s time to engage
Ah my dear you have such sweet eyes
If I didn’t know better I’d say they mesmerise
But I’m playing out this scene for the umpteenth time
As well as these thoughts I’m speaking to you in rhyme
On more step forward so simple and plain
So the demons can come out to finally reign
And those eyes of yours are just so amusing
Though I’ll confess they’re a little bemusing
But I’ll find out in a few minutes just the same
When I pin you down and you scream out my name
What? Who? How? How did this unfurl?
There’s a wrath now holding me, you clever girl
I’ve misjudged, I believed you were cleaner
But that’s clearly not so by your changed demeanour
I think that it’s quite plan to see
That you now have me completely at your mercy
I feel betrayed, yet humbled, you’ve somehow won
But, by the look in your eyes, I think this will be fun
As the observed observes the observersSlipping past all the aftermath
Moving forth but there is no path
Just an open plain
Burning bushes all around
Endless chatter, but all inane
Somewhere yonder I here a sound
It overshadows the pain endured
Though its origin remains obscured
Life is few and far between
An image attaches itself to the voice
Revealing itself in a surreal scene
Subtly dictating my every choice
Softer, then louder, it always varies
Deeper inside me it buries
It would seem there is no end to this game
Chasing down a mere mirage
Something somewhere new, yet still the same
Weaving a way through this endless barrage
Of greed, insecurity and futility
Usurping my every ability
From every encounter the more I receive
As human nature itself is revealed
Predicting those who choose to deceive
By their actions their fates are sealed
The same however can not be said of my own
As another pair of shoes are outgrown
From the outside it may seem capricious
Disrupting what’s best left alone
But there’s no vestige of anything malicious
As the movement awakens another miserable drone
Time and time again the voice returns
Consuming all my other concerns
Perhaps its design is that of a guide
Pulling me around through this well masked ruse
Slowing me down on this eternal slide
Until nothing left I have to lose
On this voice tied is hope and fortune
Its perpetuity has become my boon
Under foot the earth continues to breathe
The heavy weight of the bloodless machine
Causing it to continually seethe
Desperate for something to intervene
Under pressure, alone it can not cope
Pained by the twisting of the rope
But through worse it has survived
Against negligence, the egotistic and the vile
In time it will be revived
Having come up trumps through every trial
The voice I hear is for none but me
The awareness of it shared by me, it and the earth
In existence far more there be
Heard and felt by the world along it girth
The motionless mid-flight arrowOnes attempts are not hard to derail
As one’s lead in circles through the paper trail
Who are these people and where do they reside
What is it from that they need to hide?
Because their actions increase marginisation?
And they sway the public toward sterilisation
Of those that are trapped in abject poverty
Fooling us to believe they’re promoting objectivity
Calling all voices of dissent unpatriotic and obscene
Whilst they grow richer as we fuel their war machine
Using diplomacy to play devils advocate
Embedded in safe havens steadily growing fat
The voices that inform us, they own all its sources
Covertly hoarding all of the worlds resources
At the end of the day it’s all about greed
For fucks sake man how much do you need?
Secured high above is in an ivory tower
Going to all extremes to cling on to their power
When will people stop dismissing this as fate?
And wake up to the world before it’s too late
Faith in the afterlife and protect ones soul
Are you still buying that shit, it’s just about control
Look at the world and see what is relevant
Nature has always been incredibly violent
A lion feeding itself is hardly immoral
If a starving man does the same why do you quarrel?
Bring on some change turn the wind to a gale
And take your fight straight to the alpha male
Through fear and deception your life he is dictating
Your perception of life he has been creating
To keep you complacent and out of his way
As you toil away just to survive another day
I don’t know exactly what you are seeing
But not one of us is a celestial being
For our brains are tiny, we’re extremely gullible
We’re nothing more than another fucking animal
So do nothing at all and die on your spot
But at this alpha male I’m taking a shot
Not to rise up and to take his place
Just to stir up the minds of this dismal race
Not from heaven or hell have I been sent
I just sick of being complacent
I more then happy to let everyone be free
But don’t you fucking dare try and control me
Take a step back son Well Well Well
Well Well Well
Just what my friend do we have here?
That unusual sound that just hit my ear?
I hope for your sake nothing is afoul
I wouldn't want raise my voice, would want to yell
Shall I presume your up to no good?
Stand aside whilst I check under the hood
Hmm, it seems that everything here is in place
But I know better, more then once I've ran this race
Perhaps you're good, but than perhaps I'm better
And sooner or later your ruse will fetter
For I my dear chap have a few times been around this block
And I'll think you'll find that I seldom experience shock
But hey, let's make a game of this
And opportunities like this I don't like to miss
Hell you never really do know
You might have something to show
If not though at least I'll get in some practice
As you never know when it's time for the real test
To you I may appear blissfully ignorant
But rest assured your plans I can circumvent
For I have been shafted more times then I care
I've been at the short end more then my fair share
Bigger fish then you I have fought
Do you really think that I have learnt naught?
I’ve no intention of granting you some wisdom
You'll have to find your own keys to the kingdom
I will however leave you with a few scars
Remembering them in later battles, you may just thank your stars
Feed the FetusDo we dare to dream?
What might happen if we wake the machine?
Millennia has past and our habits are cyclical
But would it reach the conclusion that we’re logical?
Create it to improve this world, make it a better place
But what if its solution was the destruction of our race
Would it be convinced that humans belong on top?
And once it has started will its chain ever stop
So I guess before we disturb it from its peace
We should make this destructiveness cease
Convince this beast of silicon and granite
That we are one with this great big planet
Instead of a blemish, plague or plight
And that for our existence we’ve earned the right
To carry on and live for millennia to come
That our way is for the whole not just some
Whose shortsightedness siphons and impedes
Man and animal alike from meeting their needs
Can it learn ego without developing its own
For something will rub off from all it’s been shown
But hey we’ve created monsters before
So what’s the big deal if we have one more?
Perhaps its byproducts will make some a little sicker
But for the greater good, we’ll evolve a lot quicker
Okay it's possible it could bring about our demise
But from our ashes something else will rise
Evolution for all that it’s worth
Isn't about man, it’s about the earth
Poison idea?How accurate do you think the likeness
When I was just registered by your subconsiousness
And if it’s true, what some believe
Once it’s in there it will never leave
Perhaps I was given little thought, to the back it was confined
Never again to be accessed as your mind is designed
Or perhaps the presence is a little more forthright
As would be more likely if I continually cross your sight
Is it important that what you see is true?
If I want to ensure this what can I do?
In order to be sure, for a lie to untangle
Perhaps it’s best you see me from more than one angle
As to the truth of who I am I own no monopoly
Predicting the perceptions from others is done sloppily
If I continue on this chain, on this path I traverse
Everything so far said can be applied in reverse
As we just passed, into my mind you were ingrained
So that what you were doing can later be explained
And incorporated into my concept of the whole
That’s what I’m doing, not stealing your soul
Mind you the notion of soul still remains in debate
As it tries to place itself in the notion of fate
But these things are best left for another day
For on that topic I’ve a lot more to say
Returning now to the subject in question
There is but one more thing I’d like to mention
What bounced off me was nothing but light
A form of energy that entered you through sight
If you don’t want me to look at your breasts don’t put writing across them
I left my world and enter a thousand others
Of friends and enemies, sisters and brothers
I had to evolve but at what cost?
What part of me stays and what is forever lost?
I found few places and how to settle into a role
But repeating it endlessly took its toll
From who I was I had begun to stray
They were no longer worlds in which I could play
Try as I did I finally came to believe
That I had no choice but to get up and leave
To find a new place that can bring me some cheer
And enter the world of that of a peer
A time may come if I see the right sign
To bring forth another into the world that is mine
Though as it stands now it’s far from complete
Filling in the blanks is not an easy feat
For there still exists some gaping holes
And it’s still haunted by a million lost souls
But from the eyes and actions of a select handful
I know there are some worlds that are truly beautiful
Thus far no matter how much I persist
I’ve yet to find a place in these worlds to exist
Hopefully visiting worlds and learning what to do
One day into a one of these amazing worlds I’ll find a way through
So for now through new worlds I’ll pass and give thanks
And slowly build up my world, filling in the blanks
With some luck, well before the clock reaches eleven
I’ll enter a world that I can call heaven
This ain’t right…. is it?I jumped, I fell, I got up and looked around
It was dark, I couldn’t see but listened for every sound
Nothing that could be recognised, nothing understood
Cautiously moving about as I knew I should
But each step I took I got more and more bruised
Carry forth I still did until all my patience was used
In the end I called it off, a pact was sworn
I would sit down and wait until it was morn
Slowly but surely the sun did indeed rise
As I looked around me with great surprise
An unusual sight I was presented
Just what exactly had I entered?
With my muscles sore and a horrible bellyache
An attempt to recover I had to undertake
But where the hell was I, where the hell is ‘here’?
If I wasn’t so damn exhausted I’d have a slight sense of fear
This could be the last adventure, the start of my demise
But it’s too early to quit, no time to agonise
For it’s not like this is my first time beyond my depth
I’m many things but most definitely not inept
I don’t know what that is but I’ll eat it all the same
In a weird kind of way it feels like a video game
Head in some direction and seek out a feed
I’m sure soon enough I’ll get what I need
But now’s a good time to believe in reincarnation
As I struggle to fight off starvation
I wonder if for a king I’ve qualified
Of that I suspect I’ll be denied
Up or down, which way would I go?
What for my life do I have to show?
I’ve never saved a soul nor written a book
Hey, why not at my last life take a look?
Judging on all the options I’ve had
Was I really good or really bad?
If I were honest and truly believin’
I’d have to say I probably broke even
And it seems I’ve done the same once more
Through its ups and down my life’s been a bore
Hey, wait a minute I know this place!!
Huh, I think I have a bit of egg on my face
Not as far as I thought I have actually strayed
And now all my clothes are dirty and frayed
And what the hell was that thing I just consumed?
Hey, I thought I was lost, well I’d assumed
Now that I look back I guess it all makes sense
My judgment was clouded, bah! I think I’m just dense
Though this adventure has been somewhat trifle
I must confess that it was rather insightful
I feel like once again I’ve successfully pass another life test
And now I know where home is I can go and get some rest
TheThe origin I’m not exactly sure
The purpose I sometimes adore
Other times though I almost adhore
But all in all never a bore
The flow of movement always the best
The chain of reactions never at rest
Triumphant or distraught after every test
What emerges is always the finest
The destination arrived at in some way
Th purpose to be revealed another day
Clues of the outcome are on display
Never black and white but shades of grey
The movements create either pain or joy
The reflections may appear somewhat coy
Sometimes consider as some unknown ploy
Never to be disrespected or treated as a toy
#The substance supporting is still concealed
The direction taken is eventually revealed
Boundaries of control are not yet sealed
Inching towards awareness as the layers are pealed
The sun is just another star
The energy source to move your motorcar
Guiding to the presentation of utopia
What isn’t ‘The’
The fine printI keep hearing ‘what’s the deal Nick?’
‘Why are all of these so damn encrypted?’
‘Did it occur to you that it becomes a bore?
All this rhyming and just another metaphor?’
Should I really have to spell it all out?
Set the record straight and leave no doubt?
I’m sorry you feel this and the method persists
But this in the way, how it exists
And the metaphors to which you refer
Are to both invoked and deter
For where I’ve come to be, my disposition
Doesn’t work as well in words as it does in vision
As for the wording, the in cessed rhyming
Part of its flow, part of its timing
And I like to incorporate the eloquence of words
Rather then forever just spitting out absurds
A lot of time I’ve spend in thought
If I write nothing it will all be for nought
Staring at reality and trying to grasp
Why there are so many rough edges when we possess a rasp
I’m not going about looking to defile
Though I carry a hammer, I also have a file
This is how I choose to slowly make a difference
Keeping these poems as a useful reference
From what you’ve seen of me it’s hard to refute
That from all I perceive I go on to compute
If you want to know what I desire
Perceiving this imagery you require
I won’t take away you’re ability to rejoice
Deciphering all this must be made by choice
The path I’ve moved onto, to which I’ve strolled
Leads to danger and somewhere mighty cold
I’d say by now that it should be plain to see
That’s this books been created as my insurance policy
The EndSo there you have it a brief outline
I hope you weren’t expecting anything divine
Of this here globe a different perspective
Bearing in mind this is all quite subjective
Just like many before you’ll come to find
Most of your answers already lie in your mind
Outside of yourself the questions originate
On different assumptions and objectives we choose to navigate
Through the onslaught of information that we face
Fighting with ourselves for just a little more space
So much has been written here, so little said
So much crap to filter out of your head
Creating our own bubbles in which we can hide
Choosing with great care in whom we’ll confide
Seeking assurance that we’re doing okay
And not to far from the norm do we stray
Rejoining the mind and the body as a whole
Finding some space in between to label our soul
Under great pressure we come to understand
It’s much simpler to just stick our head in the sand
But no matter how much in ourselves we are wrapped
Sooner or later on the shoulders we are tapped
And asked to do something in someway to help
But with ears full of sand it just sounds like a yelp
The mumblings and ranting may one day deafen
And our neglect may come to poison our children
Who’ll do as there told
And learn to become cold
And separate themselves from the masses
To give them no more thought then donkeys and asses
Following this path was pretty much sent me insane
Adding to that, it was all completely in vane
Epilogue
The search is over?
The search is off
Enough has been seen
Upset I was but for a moment
But this is something I have to do
This is something I choose to do
This is something I must do
Alone
I’ve pondered other ways
Pursued other avenues
They could work
Theoretically
They won’t work
Practically
By no means a conclusion easily reached
By no means a conclusion easily accepted
At first
Realisation leads to a sense of freedom
A freedom that can be expressed
Expressed it seems, in a way only I can
Freedom
Freedom and the unknown
Freedom, the unknown and a strong basis of things achieved
Just begun?
Hardly
A new course?
Not really
Just a lighter load to carry
An added quickness to each step
Freedom
Let the games begin
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