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Finding Common GroundStrategies for Improved Communications
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Purpose of Training
• Re-engineering = Change
• Change = Potential Conflict
• Conflict = Opportunities if Resolved Positively and Collaboratively
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Agenda
•3.5 hours, 1 break•Lots of interactivity•No lecture•Some fun
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Icebreaker
• Your Name
• Your Job
• Which animal best represents your approach to conflict?
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Self Assessment
•No Names
•Not Graded
•Complete again at the end of class
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1 20
2 Minutes
Complete Self Assessment
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• Recognize the major causes of conflict and it can present positive opportunities
• Respond to conflict by respecting the person• Resolve conflict by addressing the problem• Use Reflection to learn from conflict
Objectives
By the end of this course, you will be able to:
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Reflect
The 4 Rs
Resolve
RespondWith Respect
Recognize
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Reflect
Recognize
Resolve
RespondWith Respect
Recognize
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Definition of ConflictThe differences that arise between people that
cause them concern.• Conflict is an inevitable and normal part of life
• All parties may not be aware that there is a conflict
• We may have internal conflicts – we are “of two minds” about something
• Conflict is between two or more people and may be about one or more issues or problems
• Conflicts aren’t necessarily negative, but present opportunities to solve problems collaboratively
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BrainstormThe issue or conflictThe people involved What each party wants
Common Workplace Conflicts
10 minutes to list 2 issues
Use Worksheets & flipcharts
2 minutes to describe to the entire group
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BrainstormThe issue or conflictThe people involved What each party wants
Common Workplace Conflicts
10 Minutes5 100
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Group Presentations• Present the issue or conflict
• Identify the parties involved
• Describe what each party wants
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The issue or conflictThe people involved What each party wants
Personal Issue or Conflict
50
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Common Causes of Conflict
FactsValues
GoalsMethods
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Common Causes
Facts• People receive new information at different times.• Everyone might not receive the new information.• People might interpret things differently.
Sharing information or getting reliable information usually can resolve conflicts over facts.
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Common Causes
Methods• People often differ over the best way to do something.• Supervisors may have different ways of rewarding or disciplining
employees.• Managers may have different opinions about how to keep their
staff up to date on current information.
Conflict over methods can usually be resolved by the airing of differences and collaboration—working together to come to an agreement on methods.
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Common Causes
• Viewing a job as an opportunity/living/chore until retirement.• A Manager’s goal might be to achieve maximum efficiency while
a supervisor might be more interested in the personal needs of team.
• A flight passenger’s goal is to get to their flight on time, while the goal of the security screener is to make sure flight security is maintained.
Disagreement over goals can usually be resolved by problem solving and finding common ground.
Goals
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Values• One person might see working part time as an opportunity to
spend more time with his/her family while another might view it as a loss of income.
• One person might have been brought up to respect everyone and another might have been brought up to expect other people to earn respect
• Our cultural and religious background influences how we behave.
We must acknowledge our differences, respect each other's position, recognizing that long-held beliefs and values will not change.
Common Causes
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Common Causes Exercise
• 5 Minutes• Use first letters to identify
the possible causes• More than 1 cause is possible
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FactsValues
Goals Methods
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Reflect
Review
Resolve
RespondWith Respect
Recognize
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Reflect
Respond
Resolve
RespondWith Respect
Recognize
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Responses to Conflict• Avoid
• Complain
• Take it Home
• Blame Others
• Lump it
• Give in
• Get Angry
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Chinese Symbol for Conflict
“Risk”
“Opportunity”
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Risk and Opportunity Scenarios
2 4 60
6 Minutes
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Risk and Opportunity
Risk Opportunity
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Effective Communication
Active Listening
Effective Speaking
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Responding Exercise – Part 1
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Responding Exercise – Part 1
1 20
2 Minutes
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Responding with Respect
Validate – acknowledge understanding and the feelings of other person.
Ask – use open-ended questions to demonstrate you heard.
Listen – paraphrase to demonstrate understanding.
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Active Listening Skills• Listen with respect – give the other person time to
talk
• Don’t challenge or interrupt
• Check for understanding
• Don’t problem-solve
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Responding Exercise – Part 2
1 20
2 Minutes
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Two Parts of Communication
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Words –
Tone of voice –
Body language –
How and What we Communicate
Source: Mehrabian, Albert (1981) Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
7 %
38 %
55%
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8 Ways to ask a Question
Did I say you had an attitude problem?
I sayyo
uattitude
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Respond with Respect - Summary
Conflict can be risk and opportunity
Communication is Key•Validate•Ask Questions•Listen
How we say something is asimportant as what we say!
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Break
5 100
10 Minutes
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Reflect
Resolve
Resolve
RespondWith Respect
Recognize
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The Vacation Dilemma
Beach Mountains
Near by SocializingFoodSwimmingFresh AirSunShopping
QuietFoodHikingStarsNear byBoating Wildlife
Positions - What
Interests - Why
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Uncovering Interests
Interests
Interests
Security
Well-being
Belonging
Self-esteem
Dignity
Respect
Interests
Interests
Interests
Positions - What
Interests - Why
• A stand or demand• What someone wants
• Why a person wants something or wants something done in a particular way• Their fears, hopes, wants, needs
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Position/Interests Scenarios in Book
Use the Uncovering Interests Worksheet:• Identify Issue or Problem• Identify Positions• Uncover Interests
5 100
10 Minutes
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Position/Interests Conflicts at Work
5 100
10 Minutes
Use the Uncovering Interests Worksheet:• Identify Issue or Problem• Identify Positions• Uncover Interests
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Exploring Options
Ideas for Brainstorming • Collect as many ideas as possible from all
participants• All ideas are welcome• Be creative• Do not criticize or judge; don't groan, frown, or
laugh• All ideas are equally valid at this point. • Build on other peoples' ideas.
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Exploring Options – 5 minutes5
0
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Decide on a “SMART” Agreement
Specific
Mutually acceptable
Appropriate
Realistic
Time-based
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Reflect
Review
Resolve
RespondWith Respect
Recognize
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Reflect
Reflect
Resolve
RespondWith Respect
Recognize
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The VALUED Approach
Validate
Ask, and
Listen to
Uncover Interests
Explore Options and
Decide on an Agreement
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Learning from Conflict Exercise• Refer to the personal issue identified at
the beginning
• Use the Finding Common Ground Worksheet
• Voluntary sharing
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5 Minutes
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Summary• A definition of conflict• Common causes of conflict • Elements of Communication • Guidelines for Responding with Respect • Interests v. Positions • “SMART” Agreements • 4Rs • A “VALUED” Approach
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Self Assessment
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Congratulations!
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