Self-Coaching and Leadership, March 2013

Self-coaching

Photo: Seth Anderson

& leadershipEd Batista, March 27, 2013www.edbatista.com/self-coaching.html

Who am I?

Photo: Seth Anderson

Executive coach

Instructor @ Stanford GSB

www.edbatista.com

Self-coaching

Leadership

Mindset

Practices

Goals

Change

Agenda

Photo: Theresa Thompson

Brief conceptual framing

Discuss with your partner

Format

Photo: Theresa Thompson

CoachingNOT consulting, advising or mentoring

Client owns the agenda

Client has the answers

Photo: Seth Anderson

99% of coaching = Self-coaching

91% of engagements < 18 months

High demand, limited resources

Self-coaching

Photo: Seth Anderson

Not a solitary experience

Coaching partners are essential

Start with your partner today

Self-coaching

Photo: Seth Anderson

Photo: Martin Fisch www.flickr.com/photos/marfis75/4074994941/

It rarely looks like this

Not a function of job title or role

A way of being with others

Leadership

Photo: xlibber

Work has changed

Organizations have changed

Leadership has to change

Leadership

Empowering others

Interpersonal skills

Emotional intelligence in action

Leadership

Photo: woodleywonderworks

LeadershipKey capabilities…

Self-awareness

Self-regulation

Managing relationships

Photo: woodleywonderworks

Photo: Ed Yourdon

Discuss in pairsGiven this model of leadership…

What are my strengths as a leader?

What are my weaknesses?

What do I want to work on?

Perspective on ourselves

Work in progress

Open to learning

Carol Dweck

Mindset

Photo: jm3

Talent & intelligence are inherent traits

Mistakes are failures or character flaws

Negative emotional response to mistakes

Talent & intelligence can be developed

Mistakes are learning opportunities

Pay close attention to mistakes & learn more

Fixed Growth

Mindset

Carol Dweck:

www.j.mp/dweck99

Photo: Renato Ganoza

Mental models matter

Stereotype threat

Perception shapes our experience

Mindset

Discuss in pairs

Photo: Keoni Cabral

How would a growth mindset help me?

What mental models might get in my

way?

Photo: Rollan Budi

Experiential learning

Coaching conversations

Reflection and journaling

Practices

Act

Reflect

Conceptualize

ApplyWhat will I do

the next time?

What do these results imply?

What conclusions can I draw?

What happened?

What resultedfrom my actions?

Experientiallearning

Act

What?

So What?

Now What?

Experientiallearning

More questions, less advice

How…? and What…? are better than

Why…?

Help us find our own answers

Coachingconversations

Photo: Ed Yourdon

Empathy = “the antidote to shame”

Listening vs. feeling heard

Learning & action

Coachingconversations

Photo: Ed Yourdon

Reflection

Photo: Alex Erde

Neuroscience of journaling

Memory of an experience

Emotional experiences

Non-emotional experiences

ReflectionNo right way

Natural & enjoyable

Valuable

Leverage situational factors

Avoid guilt

Photo: Alex Erde

Discuss in pairs

Photo: Ana Karenina

Who are my potential coaching

partners?

What would journaling look like for

me?

Photo: John Trainor

When we are…

Committed

Able

Unconflicted

…goals support performance

Goals

However…

Learning may trump performance

Threatening goals are counter-

productive

Goals may diminish motivation &

enjoyment

Goals

Photo: John Trainor

Effective goals…

Generate feedback

Heighten commitment

Don’t obscure the big picture

Goals

Photo: John Trainor

Photo: Erich Ferdinand

Accountable to ourselves, not the

coach

As a coach: Investment vs.

attachment

As a “coachee”: Get curious about

failure

Goals & coaching

Discuss in pairs

Photo: Andrew Yee

What is a current leadership goal of

mine?

How will this goal motivate me?

How might it get in my way?

Behavior is stable

Driving & restraining forces

Change requires “unfreezing”

Change

Photo: ezioman

Key driving force

“Survival anxiety”

I must change to achieve my goals

Change

Photo: ezioman

Key restraining force

“Learning anxiety”

Change threatens my self-esteem or identity

Change

Photo: ezioman

Photo: ezioman

Survival anxiety > Learning anxiety

Trigger some survival anxiety

Decrease learning anxiety

Change

Photo: ezioman

Growth mindset = Work in progress

Change is less threatening

New behavior ≠ New identity

Mistakes = Learning opportunities

Change& mindset

Conclusions

Photo: David Barrie

Self-coaching is possible…

…with the right mindset, partners and

practice

(Professional coaching helps, too)

Leadership is emotional intelligence in

action

Goals are powerful; use with care

Change requires comfort with

discomfort

Thank you!

Photo: Seth Anderson

www.edbatista.comPhoto Credits:Lifeguard Chairs by Seth Anderson, www.flickr.com/photos/swanksalot/4215424034/ Compass by Theresa Thompson, www.flickr.com/photos/theresasthompson/7163227255/ Marcus Aurelius by Martin Fisch, www.flickr.com/photos/marfis75/4074994941/Typewriter by xlibber, www.flickr.com/photos/xlibber/4855182596/ Soccer Practice by woodleywonderworks, www.flickr.com/photos/wwworks/1384952210/ Discussion # 1 by Ed Yourdon, www.flickr.com/photos/yourdon/2574628438/ Traffic Cones by jm3, www.flickr.com/photos/jm3/2644059971/ Girl in Classroom by Renato Ganoza, www.flickr.com/photos/rzganoza/4186516481/ Discussion # 2 by Keoni Cabral, www.flickr.com/photos/keoni101/5946530725/ Golf Swing by Rollan Budi, www.flickr.com/photos/rollanb/2972392183/Coaching Conversations by Ed Yourdon, www.flickr.com/photos/yourdon/4159766506/ Journaling by Alex Erde, www.flickr.com/photos/alexerde/2253263970/ Discussion # 3 by Ana Karenina, http://www.flickr.com/photos/anakarenina/2328103845/Archer by John Trainor, www.flickr.com/photos/trainor/2902023575/ Conversation by Erich Ferdinand, www.flickr.com/photos/erix/4122236130/ Discussion # 4 by Andrew Yee, www.flickr.com/photos/halfchinese/167535372/ Icebreaker by ezioman, www.flickr.com/photos/ezioman/2096480108/ Garden by David Barrie, www.flickr.com/photos/addictive_picasso/2478673625/