Negotiating With Difficult People Part One

Negotiating with Difficult PeopleNegotiating with Difficult PeopleVictoria Pynchon, ADR Services, IncVictoria Pynchon, ADR Services, Inc..

Businesses do not have legal problems

Only lawyers have legal problems

Businesses have business problems

With People concerns

And Justice Issues

Why do people seek the services of

Injustices that the law will rectify are dwarfed by the injustices it will not.

We generally consider non-actionable injustices to be frivolous claims.

The parties’ complaints almost always include non-actionable injustices which laws, rules, standards, best practices, policies, procedures, and even folkways cannot address.

World of

Injustice

Injustices the law will remedy

Relative Benefits v.

Absolute Numbers

• distributive justice, or the perceived fairness of outcomes

• procedural justice, or the perceived fairness of the procedures by which outcomes are determined

• interactional justice, the perceived fairness of the nuances of interpersonal treatment.

• We identify rights and responsibilities

• transform (nip, tuck, spin, frame, highlight, downplay, flatten) narratives of injustice into actionable causes of action

• monetize those injustices• sharpen the differences

between “our” story and our “opponent’s” story

• ask a third party (judge, arbitrator, jury) to choose a “side.

• Translate victories and defeats on the legal field of combat into a narrative our clients can understand

THE BASICS OF CONFLICT

“Time is what keeps everything

from happening at once”

Stephen Hawking

Conflict is a

Perceived divergence of interests or the belief that the current aspirations of the

parties cannot be simultaneously met

Scarce Resources• Contending

• Shirley Jackson’s “Lottery”• Logan’s Run• Strong survive/weak die

• Problem solving– Hunting/gathering to

agriculture/husbandry– Farming/hunting to

industry– Industry to technology– Material (steel, cars,

trains, planes) to Immaterial (knowledge)

“Innovate, don’t litigate (contend)” Jonathan Schwartz, CEO Sun Microsystems

Persuasion Exercise

• Object of the game– Get your partner to come

over to your side of the line

– The winners will each will $1.00

Relative deprivation

Injurious Event

Perceptions

Self interest/desireOther interest/desire

Conflict’s Source

ResourcesValues

Dispute = Immediate Manifestation of Conflict

NamingBlamingClaiming

Tactics

YieldingAvoiding

Contending

Problem Solving

Tit for TatStart niceBe ProvokableBe Forgiving

Tactics

Yielding/AvoidingNegative for yielder

Nothing changes for other

in a blind approach for landing through clouds where the first officer is convinced that the plane is heading against solid mountain rock all he says is “I am not sure if we have established our gliding path with necessary precision”.

Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers

Contentious TacticsIngratiation & gamesmanshipThreat, promises & arguments

ShamingCoercive Commitments

Physical Violence

Win-loseResolution unstable

Problem SolvingSatisfies some of both parties’

interestsResolution is stable

Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers

End of Part I