Catherine Gillespie, Workplace Conflict Resolution - Training Your Staff - Tips and Tools for...

Developing Effective Understanding To Enable Managers To Combat Bullying In The Workplace Informa Conference

Dec 2013

Allegations of Bullying Happen in the Workplace Because: • Escalation of interpersonal conflict

• Unconscious displays of Behaviour that is Aggressively Defensive (B.A.D) because of continual reaction to an underlying Mistaken Assessment of Danger (M.A.D)

• Managers don’t address instances of inappropriate behaviour at all or if they do, they do not do so in a timely and effective manner

Conflict and Bullying Happen In The Workplace Because:

• We think work is an economic transaction (labour/intellect = $$)

BUT

• Brain experiences workplace as a social system

Rock, D. ‘Managing with the Brain in Mind’ Strategy + Business Autumn 2009, No. 56

Conflict and Bullying Happen Because: • Humans are hard wired to:

- Sense threats / danger

- Feel social pain

- Defend / protect self and feel safe

- Repeat behaviours which provide reward and comfort

• These behaviours have developed over years of experience & are often unconscious behaviours that people bring to work – these

behaviours are inherent & different in each worker. Your organisation is a social microcosm where employees who sense

threat/danger will react. Are managers or other workers unwittingly (or wittingly) creating the threat? Are managers aware of what is

going on? Do they know how to constructively address the situation?

Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers

The Phases of Conflict

The Phases of Conflict POSSIBLE HIDDEN TRIGGERS

Possible Hidden Triggers Insights® Profiling - Fiery Red - Sunshine Yellow - Earth Green - Cool Blue

MBTI® / TMS® Extraversion (E) – Introversion (I) Sensing (S) – Intuition (N) Thinking (T) – Feeling (F) Judging (J) – Perception (P)

D.i.S.C.® Dominance Inducement Submission Compliance

Human Synergistics ® Blue – Constructive Styles Green – Passive / Defensive Red – Aggressive / Defensive

Personality Clashes The term ‘Personality Clash’ is not a very accurate one. When we have a ‘personality clash’ with someone, we are saying that they are different and they clash with us. Sometimes this can lead to us judging, blaming and disliking someone. Where these differences come from are more to do with our preferences – how we prefer to do/experience things.

Relating to others: Do you feel energised by being around other people – talking with them, doing activities together and brainstorming ideas? Or Does being around outgoing people make you feel tired? Would you prefer to sit quietly to work out your thoughts before talking with others and would you prefer to work on your own?

Gathering, using & communicating information: Would you prefer to gather data and make your decisions based on figures, facts and concrete details? When you explain things to other people – do you provide detail and concrete examples? Or Do you like to talk about the ‘big picture’? Do you

often have a vision of what a project or task should look like when completed but you rarely

think about or talk about the detail or steps required to achieve that vision?

Two Free Tickets

Making decisions: When you make a decision – are you analytical? Do you base it on facts and figures or dates and what you see as practical / efficient? Or When making a decision, do you think about what is right and wrong and what effect this will have on the people involved?

Organisation of self and others: Do you have a fairly rigid and structured approach to getting tasks done? Do you use a diary or planner and stick to it? Or

Would you say that your approach to life and getting things done is fairly flexible and sometimes

spontaneous?

Possible Hidden Triggers

• Large amounts of change and uncertainty

• Breaches of Trust

• Unresolved Misunderstandings

• Poor Communications

• Differences in Personal Values

• Unrelated Stress

• Ego

Possible Hidden Triggers

• Unclear Roles, Tasks and Reporting Lines

• Geographic/Locational issues

• Lack of induction or other training

• Lack of policies/poorly worded policies

Is Bullying Happening In The Workplace Because Of Perceived Threats & Rewards?

• The five qualities that impact

most on human threat/reward:

- Status

- Certainty

- Autonomy

- Relatedness

- Fairness

How Many Ways Are There To Try To Resolve Conflict?

4 Most Popular Styles Of Trying To Resolve Conflict

The Conflict Resolution Network

The Least Popular Style Of Trying To Resolve Conflict

The Conflict Resolution Network

Conflict and Bullying Happens In The Workplace Because: • Because of continual reaction to an underlying Mistaken

Assessment of Danger (M.A.D)

• People feel safe and comforted when they exert control and dominance over others

• People lack the ability to empathise with others

• People lack the ability to self regulate emotions/behaviours (i.e. quick to react) Debra Pepler, Distinguished Research Professor of Psychology , York University

Laura DeHaan , Professor, North Dakota State University

U.S. Health Resources and Services Administration (hrsa)

• High level of correlation between bullies having high levels of aggression and an external locus of control

Haye, K. et al ‘Examining Locus of Control and Aggression along the Bully/Victim

Continuum’ Paper presented at the 2003 American Psychological Association Canada.

Conflict and Bullying Happens Because: • Locus of control is a construct that measures the degree to

which individuals believe they are responsible for the consequences of their own behaviour .

• Individuals expressing a more internal locus of control believe that their behaviour is directly related to the outcomes because they have control over their environment.

• Individuals expressing an external locus of control fail to see the relationships between their behaviour and its consequences.

• External locus of control is correlated with aggression, peer rejection and resistance to change.

Haye, K et al. 2003

Conflict and Bullying Happens In The Workplace Because: • Sometimes we can’t interpret our own behaviours objectively.

Some workers will find this very difficult do to and so managers must be vigilant and become the objective assessor of behaviours in the workplace.

• What are the traits of a typical manager?

- Technical skills

- People skills

- Workload

- Locus of attention c.f. focus of attention

Conflict and Bullying Happens In The Workplace Because: • Managers are human too

• Just because now have ‘manager’ label doesn’t mean neural pathways automatically change

• Managers who are overloaded and stressed are more likely to default to ‘habit /reaction’ behaviours

• Managers now have more threats from more sources with greater consequences

Is Bullying Happening In The Workplace Because Of Culture? • What behaviours do the Senior Leadership Display?

• What behaviours do they reward?

• How do they manage instances of bullying

& aggressive behaviour?

• Is policy adhered to?

• Are complaints fairly investigated?

• Are employees valued?

• Is there high staff turnover?

Bullying Doesn’t Have to Happen In A Workplace: • ‘Neuroscience has also discovered

that the human brain is highly plastic.

Neural connections can be reformed,

new behaviours can be learned, and

even the most entrenched behaviours

can be modified at any age.

• The brain will make these shifts only when it is engaged in mindful attention.

• Mindfulness: observing one’s own mental processes and the flow of conversation as it is happening.’

Bullying Doesn’t Have to Happen In A Workplace: • 1) Training managers in how to raise their own awareness &

‘mindfulness’’ including Above and below the line thinking

• 2) Train managers in basic neuroscience, threat responses/ reward responses and locus of control

• 3) Train managers & staff to understand bullying and inappropriate behaviours & to be able to identify subtle bullying behaviours

• 4) Train managers & staff to be able to ‘speak up in the moment’ and self manage situations assertively

• 5) Train managers in consistent policy delivery/implementation

• 6) Train managers to communicate constructively, improve interpersonal communication skills & coach staff to take responsibility for decisions/actions/behaviours

• 7) Train managers to take all complaints seriously

• 8) Have best practice policies

Training for Managers

• Respond not react

• Stay calm

• Assertive not passive or aggressive

• Know how to get themselves back ‘above the line’

• Know how to get themselves out of ‘1st person’ and into ‘2nd’ and ‘3rd’ person

• Know how to help calm others (influencing strategies to move others from 1st to 2nd person, creating time and space to move from reaction to response, influencing change in psychological reactions through mirroring techniques)

• Increase quality of thinking, mindfulness, awareness

Training for Managers

• Improve quality of thinking, mindfulness, awareness

• Take all complaints (informal and formal) seriously

• Provide a structure for 1-1 meetings: G.R.O.W. model

• Provide language for conversations such as:

- ‘I’ Statements,

- Powerful questions/coaching,

- E.A.R.L.I. model

Inattentional Blindness / Change Blindness - Dan Simons and Chris Chabris

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZ0l9s8_Hmk&list=PLA8472D081B0EA6FC&index=1&feature=plpp_video

Inattentional Blindness - The Monkey Business Illusion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f94o3B3csYI&feature=BFa&list=PLA8472D081B0EA6FC

Inattentional Blindness – Magic Singh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7LuvAM6XLg&feature=BFa&list=PLA8472D081B0EA6FC

Delegate insert •4 x A4 Prevention of Bullying posters

• If don’t like them – please give feedback via contact us @ website

• If you like them use them – request A3 size copies via contact us @ website

www.WorkplaceConflictResolution.com.au

• Email - contact us - for:

- ‘I’ Statements for managers and staff

• See blog on website for Critical steps a manager must take when they hear “I just want you to know I’m being bullied but I don’t want you to do anything……”

• Go to home page on website to register for replays of the ‘Anti-bullying’ provisions 6 part webinar series to understand more about the FWA provisions, the role of the FWC and how an organisation can minimise the risk of a worker making a stop bullying application

• 1300 227 901

• enquiries@wpcr.com.au

• www.WorkplaceConflictResolution.com.au

Ph: 1300 227 901 enquiries@wpcr.com.au www.WorkplaceConflictResolution.com.au