A Little Conflict is a Good Thing

“We Speak Your Language” Retained Executive Search Recruitment Outsourcing Leadership Consulting

Conflict Resolution: A little conflict is a good thing!

ACEC-ASCE-TSPE Annual Meeting September 14, 2012

“We Speak Your Language”

Who is Dan Ryan? • Recovering engineer/scientist • Father and husband • Teacher and facilitator • Engaged sports fan

“We Speak Your Language”

Conflict is . . .

any situation in which your

concerns or desires differ from those of

another person

RM-3

“We Speak Your Language”

Objectives

• Become more aware of your own conflict style

• Recognize the conflict styles of others

• Assess conflict situations • Practice using different conflict

modes • Learn how to manage constructive conflict

RM-4

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Understanding the Conflict Modes

Two basic aspects of all Conflict-handling modes…

RM-5

Your Conflict = Skill + Situation Mode

Cooperativeness

Asse

rtive

ness

“We Speak Your Language” “We Speak Your Language” RM-6

From Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument by K. W. Thomas and R. H. Kilmann, 1974, 2000. Mountain View, CA: Xicom, Incorporated, subsidiary of CPP, Inc. Copyright 1974, 2000 by CPP, Inc. Used with permission.

“We Speak Your Language” “We Speak Your Language” RM-7

From Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument by K. W. Thomas and R. H. Kilmann, 1974, 2000. Mountain View, CA: Xicom, Incorporated, subsidiary of CPP, Inc. Copyright 1974, 2000 by CPP, Inc. Used with permission.

“We Speak Your Language”

The Five Conflict Handling Modes

RM-8

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Competing

• Taking quick action • Making unpopular decisions • Standing up for vital issues • Protecting yourself

RM-9

“My way or the highway”

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Competing Skills

• Arguing or debating

• Using rank, position, or influence

• Asserting your opinions and feelings

• Standing your ground

• Stating your position clearly

RM-10

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Overuse of Competing

• Lack of feedback

• Reduced learning

• Low empowerment

• Surrounded by “yes people”

RM-11

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Underuse of Competing

• Restricted influence

• Indecision

• Delayed action

• Withholding of contributions

RM-12

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Excessive Competing

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Accommodating

• Showing reasonableness • Developing performance • Creating goodwill • Keeping “peace” • Retreating • Maintaining perspective

RM-14

“It would be my pleasure”

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Accommodating Skills

• Forgoing your desires

• Selflessness

• Obedience

• Ability to yield

RM-15

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Overuse of Accommodating

• Overlooked ideas

• Restricted influence

• Loss of contribution

• Anarchy

RM-16

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Underuse of Accommodating

• Lack of rapport

• Low morale

• By-the-book reputation

• Inability to yield

RM-17

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Avoiding

• Leaving unimportant issues alone

• Reducing tensions • Buying time • Knowing your limitations • Allowing others ownership • Recognizing issues as

symptoms

RM-18

“I’ll think about it tomorrow”

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Avoiding Skills

• Withdrawing

• Sidestepping

• Sense of timing

• Ability to leave things unresolved

RM-19

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Overuse of Avoiding

• Lack of input from you

• Decisions made by default

• Festering issues

• Climate of caution

RM-20

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Underuse of Avoiding

• Hostility/hurt feelings

• Work overload—too many causes

• Lack of prioritization/delegation

RM-21

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Avoiding

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Collaborating

• Integrating solutions • Learning • Merging perspectives • Gaining commitment • Improving relationships

RM-23

“Two heads are better than one”

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Collaborating Skills

• Ability to listen, understand, and empathize

• Nonthreatening confrontation

• Input analysis

• Identifying underlying concerns

RM-24

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Overuse of Collaborating

• Too much time on trivial matters

• Diffused responsibility

• People who take advantage

• Work overload

RM-25

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Underuse of Collaborating

• Mutual gains deprivation

• Lack of commitment

• Low empowerment

• Loss of innovation

RM-26

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Compromising

• Resolving issues of moderate importance

• Reaching resolution with equal power and strong commitment

• Creating temporary solutions • Dealing with time constraints • Backing up competing/

collaborating

RM-27

“Let’s make a deal”

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Compromising Skills

• Negotiating

• Finding a “middle ground”

• Making concessions

• Assessing value

RM-28

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Overuse of Compromising

• Loss of big-picture perspective

• Lack of trust

• Cynical climate

RM-29

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Underuse of Compromising

• Unnecessary confrontations

• Frequent power struggles

• Inability to negotiate effectively

RM-30

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Compromising in life

Page 31

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In Summary

• There are five modes of handling conflict – Competing – Collaborating – Compromising – Avoiding – Accommodating

Page 32

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Causes of Team Conflict

• Values of team members • Attitudes of team members • Goals/Expectations - the processes and expected

outcomes • Roles and responsibilities of team members • Limited resources • Personalities • Interdependency • Increased interaction (frequency)

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Source: Cappozzoli & Alessandra

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Remedies for team conflict

• Self-awareness • Open communication • Mediation • Reorganization • Realignment-Reassignment • Disbanding

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“We Speak Your Language”

Case Study Your project team consists of the following individuals: • John (avoider) Team Leader-PM • Jane (compromiser) Asst. PM • Jim (competing) 5 year PE • Joan (competing) 25 year PG • Bubba (competing) 15 year Scientist You (John) are working on a project with a tight deadline and you consistently have challenges with Jim, Joan and Bubba

disagreeing on the best course of action. What might you do?

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Questions?

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Thank You!

Dan Ryan Principal

615 202 0883 cell 615 656 3535 office

Dan@Ryansc.net http://ryansc.net